Quitter
by BDavis427
Summary: Here's how it goes: boy meets girl, girl leaves boy. That's all she knows, all she's done, all her life. Can heartbreak and tragedy lead to a happy ending? Will she finally be able to open her heart up and let someone love her before it's too late? BJu
1. Sacrifice

**Here it is! The new fic! I'm actually quite surprised at how quickly I got this up. Basically all you need to know is that this takes place six months after Brooke left Julian at the airport, everything up to that episode happened and obviously everything after that episode did not. Although they're not in this chapter, Nathan, Haley and Peyton will be a part of this story. **

Chapter One: Sacrifice

Her life hadn't been the same for six months. He was no longer in her bed when she woke up, she never came home to find him in the kitchen making dinner like he used to, and he wasn't there anymore to scare the boy Sam brought home. He simply wasn't there anymore and that was entirely her fault. He had begged her to accompany him back to Los Angeles but she said no, she had used Sam to protect her heart from getting broken again but if she knew how much her heart would ache now she would have jumped on the plane the moment he asked.

Her relationship with Sam though had greatly intensified over the past six months. Sam and her birth mother had a big fight that ended with Sam on Brooke's doorstep asking if she could come home. Tears had welled in Brooke's eyes as she immediately pulled the snarky teenager out of the pouring rain and into her arms.

As Brooke sat in her living room with the fire crackling as she waited up for Sam she couldn't help but let her mind wander to Julian. It was times like this when she sat alone in the quiet house that she felt the most alone, it seemed as if everyone was coupling up and she was stuck while all her friends moved forward with their lives. She knew she was to blame for her current state but he was the one who had ended it. About two weeks after she left him at the airport he called. The phone call only lasted twenty-seven seconds but it was long enough to tear her entire world apart. Why wasn't he willing to try the long distance thing? Why did she have to be the one to uproot and move to his hometown? Why wasn't he willing to sacrifice for her? Those were the questions that no matter how hard she tried to avoid, crept into her head in the quiet evenings she often spent alone. Why couldn't she be the girl who gets the happy ending?

"Hey," Sam said softly as she entered the house holding Jack's hand. "You didn't have to wait up."

Brooke glanced over at her, happy she was home so she would no longer be plagued with heart-wrenching what if scenarios. "I wanted to." She replied as she shrugged her shoulders. "How are you, Jack?"

"I'm good, Miss Davis." He smiled as he sat down beside Sam on the couch.

She laughed. "How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Brooke." She said as she patted his knee.

Jack grinned.

"Did you two have a good time tonight?" She asked.

Sam nodded. "We went ice skating."

"You hate ice skating." Brooke said through narrowed eyes as she crossed her arms.

"Well he wanted to go so I sucked it up and went." She said as she stretched her legs out and rested them on top of the coffee table. "I hated it but that's what being in a relationship is all about right? Sacrificing every now and then to make the other happy?"

Brooke didn't answer, instead she told Sam to take her feet off the table. She watched as Sam and Jack interacted with each other and felt a chill engulf her body. "Well I don't know about you two but I'm exhausted." She said as she stood up and stretched her arms above her head. "I don't know if you're staying the night Jack but if you do, you know the rules."

Both Sam and Jack nodded. "He sleeps on the couch, I sleep in my bed. No sneaking out to see each other in the middle of the night. Blah, blah, blah." Sam recited as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad you take them so seriously." Brooke called back as she walked toward her room. She knew Jack's relationship with his foster parents was anything but easy so whenever she could help out, she did. Most weeknights she'd make dinner, or order in, and the three of them would sit at the table, joking and laughing. Jack was a good kid; he really was, so for the life of her she couldn't understand why his foster parents were so hard on him.

The next morning she smiled to herself when she saw Jack sprawled out on the couch, his blanket on the floor. She walked over, picked it up and carefully draped it back on top of him before heading back toward the kitchen to begin making breakfast. It was Saturday and that meant her mom would arrive any minute and they'd eat breakfast together and then go out for the day. That was another thing that had gotten better over the past six months, her relationship with her mother. At first it was strange to see Victoria acting motherly but within a month or so it felt natural, now, she, Sam and Brooke were inseparable.

"Hi sweetheart!" Victoria exclaimed as she walked into the house.

"Shhh!" Brooke chided as she pointed to Jack.

"Sorry!" She whispered as she tiptoed into the kitchen. "Trouble in paradise?"

Brooke shrugged. "He doesn't really talk about it, his foster parents, according to Sam, are especially hard on him. They yell at him for every little thing, mom. I want him to feel safe and loved because that's what he deserves."

Victoria placed her hand on Brooke's shoulder. "You are one of the kindest most loving people I know." She smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

She glanced down at the floor as she blushed. "Thanks."

"What's for breakfast today?" Sam asked as she strolled out of her bedroom. Victoria couldn't help but laugh at her appearance. Her hair was all over the place, she only had one sock on and her eyeliner from the night before was smudged all over the side of her face.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." She smiled.

"Morning." She grumbled. "Is Jack awake?"

Brooke shook her head.

She smiled as she tiptoed over to where he was sleeping. "Wake up!" She shouted as she jumped on top of her boyfriend.

"Sam!" He groaned as he struggled to open his eyes.

"It's time to get up, sleepy head."

"Five more minutes?" He begged.

"You'll miss Brooke's famous chocolate chip pancakes then." Sam shrugged as she stood back up and walked toward the kitchen. Within seconds, Jack was up and following her into the kitchen. "Mind if he joins us for breakfast?"

"He's a boy, though." Brooke said as she scrunched her nose. "Saturdays are girl days."

Sam playfully nudged her arm. "C'mon! You're making him feel unwelcome."

Brooke laughed. "He knows I'm just kidding, don't you Jack?"

Jack nodded.

"See? You get so worked up over the smallest things." She said as she flipped the last pancake onto a plate. Victoria carried the plate over to the table while Brooke followed with the silverware, Sam with syrup and Jack with a pitcher of orange juice. The four of them ate breakfast and filled the house with laughter. Victoria offered Jack to spend the day with them to which he happily agreed. As Jack showered and Sam cleaned up her room, Victoria and Brooke cleaned up the breakfast dishes.

"Do you still think about him?" Victoria asked as she put a plate away.

"Who?" Brooke asked innocently as she continued to scrub one of the dishes.

"Don't do this, Brooke." She pleaded.

She placed the sponge and plate down in the sink before turning to face her mother. "Yeah," She said softly as she leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about, mom? It's been six months and he hasn't called once except the day when he decided to end everything."

"And why did he end things?" She asked as she placed the drying rag down.

"You know why!" Brooke exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you're my daughter and I care about you. I want you to be happy but for the past six months you've been anything but. You hid behind Sam—"

"Don't." Brooke said, pointing her finger in her mother's face. "Do not go there."

"Sweetie, it's the truth. You're scared to death of getting your heart broken again because you've put it out there countless times only to get it smashed to pieces. You used Sam as an excuse and honestly, I don't blame you. But there comes a time when you have to risk your heart because if you don't you're going to live like this forever. Julian is a great guy and he never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did he end things? Why didn't he try the long distance thing? Why did I have to be the one to uproot and move? Why was I the one who had to sacrifice everything for him?" She cried.

Victoria shrugged. "Why don't you ask him those questions?"

"I can't call him after six months of not speaking and demand answers concerning our breakup."

"Why not?" She challenged.

"He'd think I was crazy."

"You'll never know until you call him." She shrugged.

--

Their Saturday had been spent watching classic eighties movies in Brooke's living room. Countless bags of popcorn had been popped and numerous cartons of ice cream were consumed but it was one of the best days any of them had had in a long time. On Sunday, Sam and Jack helped Brooke and Victoria order new fabric for the spring collection of Clothes over Bros. Jack reluctantly returned to his house Sunday night while Victoria reluctantly drove back to her condo two towns over. Monday was just like any other Monday: Brooke spent it in her store while Sam and Jack were in school.

"Brooke?" Sam called through the house as she dumped her backpack on the couch upon returning home from school. "Brooke are you home?" When she didn't get a response, she shrugged and plopped down beside her backpack before flicking on the television. She knew she should probably start something for dinner but she really didn't feel like getting up off her butt and she figured it would just be easier to order Chinese food when Brooke got home.

It was nearing eight o'clock and Sam was beyond hungry. Brooke was supposed to be home hours ago but she hadn't called or shown up which made Sam nervous. She had called Jack who agreed to go down to the store with her to check if Brooke was still there. As they walked down the barren streets toward her store, Sam couldn't help but think the worst. When she saw the broken glass windows and clothes strewn everywhere she thought her mind was playing a horrible trick on her. "Brooke," She gasped under her breath as she sprinted toward the store with Jack by her side. "Brooke!" She called as she looked around. "Are you here?"

"Sam?" She answered weakly.

She spotted her behind the overturned couch before running over to her. When she saw her bloodied face and torn clothes, her eyes began to water. "What happened?" She asked as she reached down for her hand. "Are you okay?"

"I need you to call someone." She said softly.

Sam nodded as she reached for her cell phone. "Who do you want me to call? Nathan, Haley, Peyton? Which one of them?"

"Lucas."

"I've never even spoken to him though, I don't think he knows who I am, Brooke."

"Just call Lucas." She begged.

Sam sighed as she began to dial Lucas' number. When he answered she explained who she was but only said she needed him to meet her and Brooke at the store, there was no sense in getting him worked up just yet. "Do you know who did this to you?" She asked Brooke once she hung up.

Brooke shook her head. "You didn't go and rant to someone how bad of a mother I am again, did you?" She tried to joke.

Sam smiled slightly before shaking her head. "He's on his way."

A few minutes later they heard a car door slam and within seconds Lucas was in the store. "What the hell happened?" He exclaimed as he walked over the broken glass.

"Brooke was attacked again." Sam said as she stood up from behind the couch.

"Again?" He asked confused, he was still under the impression that she had fallen down the stairs while he and Peyton were in Vegas. "Where is she?"

"Right here," Sam said as she kneeled down again. "I tried to keep her awake but she just couldn't keep her eyes open." She panicked.

"Who did this?" He asked as he knelt down to pick her up.

"She doesn't know." Sam shrugged. "I don't know what to do for her."

"Grab her purse and follow me to my car," He instructed as he made his way around the destroyed store. "We need to get her to a hospital." Sam did as she was told before reaching for Jack's hand. He noticed the tears in her eyes as he squeezed her hand and rubbed her back.

"She's going to be okay." He whispered into her hair.

Once at the hospital, Sam noticed how easily Lucas fell into the role of a hero it was almost as if he was trying to prove something to someone. She was surprised when without thinking he told the doctors Brooke was his girlfriend; he later explained he did that so he would be able to obtain information from the doctors but she got a different vibe as to why he did it. Sam had been living with Brooke for close to a year but she'd never seen her interact with Lucas, which she thought strange but never questioned.

"So this is kind of awkward." She said as she glanced around the waiting room.

Lucas smiled uneasily. "It is, isn't it?"

Jack nodded in agreement. "It definitely is."

"So you're Jack Daniels I take it?" Lucas asked as he leaned forward.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" He asked.

"Haley, Mrs. Scott you're English teacher, talks about you and your passion for writing a lot. She said you remind her a lot of the high school me." He smiled.

Jack's cheeks flushed slightly. "That's a pretty bit compliment."

"How long have you two been together?"

"That's kind of personal, don't you think? I only met you an hour ago." Sam said as she gave him the once-over.

Lucas grinned. "You remind me of Brooke in a lot of ways."

"How so?" She asked as she reclined in her chair and folded her arms over her chest.

"You're spunky, you don't care what other people think, you're extremely protective of the ones you love and you always say what's on your mind."

"You were able to determine all of that in the past hour? We've hardly spoken to each other." She said warily.

He nodded. "I'm good like that. And I'm sure I could come up with countless other similarities but I'll just have to get to know you better first."

"How do you know Brooke so well?" Jack asked.

Lucas looked at him surprised. "She never told you?"

Both Sam and Jack shook their heads. She noticed how Lucas looked like the wind had been knocked out of him once they shook their heads. "Never told us what?" She asked softly.

"That we dated for two years in high school." He whispered as he shook his head. "Excuse me." He said as he got up and walked out of the waiting room.

"Now this is awkward." Jack said as he glanced around.

"I can't believe she never told me."

"Why should she have to? Lucas was part of her past which has nothing to do with her future or you."

"It has _everything_ to do with her future!" Sam exclaimed as she stood up. "Something happened while they were together and that's why she's so scared to open up to people. Have you ever seen her bring a boy home in the time you've known her?" She asked.

"Only Julian."

"Julian." Sam gasped. "I have to tell him that Brooke was attacked."

"I don't think that's a good idea, babe." Jack said as he stood up and took the cell phone out of her hand.

"Why?"

"Let Brooke tell him when she's ready…if she's ready."

"But—"

"But nothing. They haven't been together for six months, Sam. She's not his responsibility anymore; she won't even talk about him. Can you imagine what she'd do if she found out you called and told him? She hates when others see her vulnerable and weak and if you call Julian you'll only be opening a can of worms." He tried to reason.

"What if this brings them back together?"

"What if it tears them further apart?" He challenged. "I know you want to call him because you believe that this might turn out to be some fairytale happy ending but these are people's lives, Sam. I know from experience that happy endings don't exist, happiness is fleeting."

Sam looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I love you, you know that right?" She asked.

He nodded; he was a bit confused but went with it anyway. "I love you too." He said as he pulled her small frame into his.

"Will you let me call Victoria?" She asked.

Jack grinned. "Of course."

A short while later, Victoria had joined Lucas, Sam and Jack in the hospital waiting room. She was beyond surprised when she saw Lucas talking to Sam and Jack but hid all emotion when she approached them. As the four of them sat in silence, one of the female doctors emerged from the room Brooke currently occupied.

"Is anyone here for Brooke Davis?" She called into the waiting room. All four of them stood simultaneously. "Relation to the patient?" She asked.

"Mother." Victoria said.

"Boyfriend."

"Daughter."

"Son."

Victoria was amazed at how easily all three of them answered the question. She knew Brooke considered Sam her daughter so that didn't surprise her that much. What did though, was Lucas' response. When he said it, it almost seemed as though he actually wanted it. He said it with such pride and honor that it baffled Victoria. She chuckled to herself when she heard Jack answer, typical Jack, she thought. She was actually quite surprised that the doctor bought the idea that Jack and Sam were Brooke's children. Brooke was only twenty-four years old!

The doctor nodded as she closed the chart. "As you know, Brooke was brutally attacked this evening," She started. "She sustained several lacerations to her face and her body is very badly bruised but she's going to recover." Lucas watched as the doctor maintained eye contact with Victoria the entire time. "There's also something else you should know." She said and for the first time looked at Lucas. "She was gang raped."

"No," Victoria cried as she shook her head violently. "Not my baby girl."

"I'm so sorry m'am." The doctor said as she placed her hand on Victoria's shoulder.

"How many people?" Lucas asked through gritted teeth.

"There were four donors." She said as she glanced down quickly at Brooke's chart. "Do you have any idea who would do this to her?"

All four shook their heads. "No." Lucas said.

Sam leaned into Jack's embrace as he continued to rub her back. "Can I call Julian now?" She whispered. She felt him nod his head so when she got a busy signal she sighed before hanging up and trying again. Little did she know that Brooke had beaten her to it and was on the phone with him that very moment.

"Julian?" She whispered into the hospital phone once he answered.

"Brooke," He sighed. He would know that voice anywhere. He couldn't believe it had been six months since he last heard it. "I can't do this right now, actually I'm not sure if I can ever do this. Please don't call here again, this is hard enough."

"I need you." She cried.

"Then you should have come to LA when I asked you to." He said, his voice harsher than he had intended.

"No, I need you to come home—"

"LA is my home, I have a life and a job out here that I need to get back to, Brooke. I couldn't have stayed in Tree Hill forever."

"I know," She said softly. "But I was raped."

--

Review & let me know what you think!

**P.S.** – I know that in my last fic Brooke was raped repeatedly by Owen and right now it may seem like whatever story I do, she always gets raped but the storyline for this fic is _**drastically**_ different from my previous one.


	2. Fight

Chapter Two: Fight

She had been raped. The woman he cared enough about to let go had been violated in the worst way possible and he hadn't been there to protect her. As he raced around his apartment tossing items into the open suitcase that lay on his bed, she stood in the doorway. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"North Carolina." He replied hurriedly as he darted into the bathroom, exiting seconds later with his toothbrush and razor.

"What's there that isn't here?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Brooke." He answered simply, looking at her for the first time since he got the phone call. She nodded as she stared down at the floorboards.

"So that's it? She's been out of your life for six months and then calls you out of the blue and you're hopping on the next plane out to see her? What about us?"

"What about us?" He repeated. "I told you at the very beginning this was never going to develop into something serious; you were never going to be my girlfriend."

"I know," She nodded. "But we've been seeing each other for just under six months now, you have to feel something towards me—"

"I don't." He sighed. "I made a mistake when I ended things with Brooke. I made a mistake when I invited you back to my place after that night at the bar. I'm done making mistakes, Megan; I need to make sure she's okay."

"She has family doesn't she?" Megan asked as she watched Julian carry his suitcase toward the door. He nodded. "Then let them take care of her. She's not your responsibility anymore. For all you know she's crying wolf—"

"Don't," He said, his voice laced with venom. "Don't you dare say that."

"Why are you dropping everything to go out and see her? What about your job?"

"My dad's my boss and I can guarantee you he'll understand once I explain the circumstances. As to why I'm dropping everything to fly out to be by her side? It's what she would do if the roles were reversed." He said as he reached for his coat. "I'm sorry if I led you on; I never meant to do that to you. I just needed a distraction—"

"So you wouldn't think about Brooke?" She finished as she began to gather her things.

He nodded, ashamed of himself.

"It never works," She said sadly. "I've tried it before too."

Julian smiled as he held the door open for her. She walked out ahead of him as he turned to lock the door. "Hey," She called. He turned to see her quite a ways down the hallway already. "Don't screw it up this time. If you're still this hung up on her after six months, she's got to be one hell of a woman. Don't let her get away."

He smiled and watched as she turned and pressed the elevator button. He wasn't planning on letting her get away this time; he'd make her realize she's worth his love no matter what he had to do.

--

The doctor had left to tend to other patients leaving Victoria, Lucas, Sam and Jack stunned and in the waiting room. Visiting hours had long since ended but Victoria had begged and pleaded with the doctor to allow them to spend the night.

"Hi, sweetheart." She said softly as she sat down beside her daughter.

"Hi, mom." Brooke croaked while trying to smile.

"I'm so, so sorry," She cried as she reached out for Brooke's hand. "We're going to find the men who did this to you. I promise."

Brooke nodded. "I don't remember much of it, anyway."

"That doesn't matter." She said as she shook her head. "You were attacked by four heartless men who are going to pay for what they did to you." Instead of arguing with her mother, Brooke nodded her head again. Victoria noticed how groggy and sleepy her daughter looked which made her expression soften. "You can close your eyes and rest if you want. You've been through an awful lot tonight."

"Promise you'll be here when I wake up?"

Victoria nodded. "I promise." Within a few minutes, Brooke had dozed off. As she watched her sleep, Victoria couldn't help but notice the change in her demeanor already. Her daughter was usually strong and independent, those traits had vanished and instead she was weak and afraid. She didn't blame her, the attack had been traumatic, but she just hoped the independent spirit she once harbored would return soon. She couldn't help but stare at the deep lacerations that covered her face. The bruises made her cringe; she was surprised at how much they had begun to reveal themselves. She was grateful that Brooke had the covers pulled up pretty much to her neck because she wasn't ready to see how the rest of her daughter's body looked…she wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready. She began to cry softly. Afraid she'd wake Brooke she decided to step out of the room. As soon as she stepped into the hallway Sam rushed to her side.

"She's going to be okay." She whispered as she embraced Victoria. "She's a strong girl."

Victoria nodded. "Would you mind going in and sitting with her? I'm sure she won't wake up for a little while but she's scared to be alone. I promised I'd be there when she woke but I just can't sit there and stare at her when she looks like she does." She cried. "I don't know what to do to help her."

"Just be there for her." Sam said simply. "And I'll make sure she knows she's not alone when she wakes up. Take as much time as you need to get everything together."

Victoria thanked her before walking outside. Sam looked over at Jack who nodded before giving her the encouragement she needed to open the door and see Brooke.

"So," Lucas sighed after Sam shut the door leaving just himself and Jack in the empty waiting room. "What did Sam mean earlier when she said Brooke was attacked again? When was the first time?"

"Like a year and half ago, maybe?" Jack said as he leaned forward to tie his shoe. "My brother did it."

Lucas looked at him flabbergasted. "Why?"

"It was before Sam knew Brooke. Sam tried to steal something from the store and Brooke confronted her. She came over to my house that night and ranted about how much of a bitch Brooke had been so he said he'd take care of it." He shrugged. "Neither one of us knew he was going to attack her and ransack the store. I promise I had nothing to do with it; I love Brooke. She's been so good to me. She's one of the only people who believes in me."

Lucas nodded. "So she didn't fall down the stairs then?"

"Dude," Jack sighed. "Even I saw the handprints all over her body and I wasn't even that close with her. Last time I checked staircases didn't have hands."

"Then why would she tell Peyton that she feel down the stairs?"

Jack shrugged. "Only she can answer that. How's Peyton by the way?"

This time, Lucas shrugged. "We've been divorced for almost six months now."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Jack blushed.

"It's okay, I didn't expect you to." He smiled. "I only formally met you this evening, remember?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "Are you going to go in and see her?" He asked.

Lucas shook his head. "Only if she asks to see me."

--

Outside, Victoria continued to pace in front of the emergency room entrance. Finally, she was able to muster up the courage to dial his number. After three rings he picked up. "Julian? Hi, it's Victoria. Brooke's mom."

"_Oh hey," He replied apprehensively. "What's up?"_

"I know you and Brooke haven't spoken since May but I thought you should know she had an accident tonight."

"_I know."_

"How?"

_"She called about two hours ago. I'm sitting in the terminal right now, my plane is going to start boarding in a few minutes."_

"She really called you?" She asked stunned.

_"I was just as surprised as you are." He smiled._

"Did she ask you to come home?" She inquired.

_"Yeah. But I would have come even if she told me not to."_

Victoria smiled at his response. "She misses you."

"_I still love your daughter, Mrs. Davis." He said earnestly. _

"That's good to hear," She smirked. "I'm pretty sure she still loves you too. But what do you say we keep this conversation between you and me, okay?"

_"What conversation?" He asked innocently._

"Thank you, Julian." She smiled. "So I guess I'll see you in a few hours?"

_"Yeah, my plane lands in New Brunswick around two-thirty in the morning. Do you want me to meet you guys at the hospital or at her house or what?"_

"She's going to be discharged tomorrow morning. There's a spare key under the flower pot on the porch if you want to let yourself in. Sam and I are going to stay here with her for the night so make yourself at home."

_"Will do. Thank you so much, Mrs. Davis."_

"Anytime." She paused. "Julian?"

"_Yes?"_

"Fight for her this time."

_"That's my plan."_

After she hung up, she smiled to herself before heading back inside. "You guys don't have to spend the night here. I'm sure your beds are far more comfortable than these hospital chairs."

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked as he stood up. Victoria nodded. "If she or you or Sam need anything don't hesitate to call." He said as he pulled Victoria into a hug. Jack tried to stifle his laughter when he saw Victoria not return the hug. Instead, her arms remained at her sides.

"Goodnight, Jack." She smiled once Lucas let go.

"Night Mrs. Davis."

--

"How's our girl doing?" She asked as she pulled up a chair beside Sam who sat holding Brooke's hand.

"How could those men do this to her?" She asked.

Victoria shook her head. "I have no idea, sweetheart."

"They beat and raped her and then just left her there. She must have been terrified."

"Let's not think about it, okay?" Victoria said her voice cracking. "You don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to."

"I don't want to." Sam replied softly. "I should have went to check on her sooner. I—"

"Stop." Victoria said sternly as she took Sam's hand into hers. "Don't blame yourself for what happened tonight. You couldn't have known she was going to be attacked."

--

Sam handed Brooke the pair of sunglasses she had bough moments earlier in the gift shop. She winced as they slid over the bruises and cuts that adorned her face. The three of them walked toward the exit, Sam on one side of Brooke, Victoria on the other. As they approached the outside world they heard several voices shouting. "Girls," Victoria said as she stopped suddenly. "I want both of you to keep your heads down once we walk outside, okay?"

Sam nodded confused but Brooke looked about ready to cry. "How do they know?" She asked as she fought back the tears in her eyes.

"You're a celebrity. They know everything about you the moment it happens. I'm going to protect you though, okay?" Victoria said as she rubbed her daughter's back.

"My picture is going to be all over the tabloids."

"You're going to get through this." Victoria assured her. "You ready?"

Brooke inhaled deeply before nodding. "Keep your head down." Victoria reminded them as the approached the glass doors.

"Miss Davis! Can you tell us what happened?" A reporter shouted the second she stepped into the cold November wind. Several more bombarded her with questions once they saw her trying to make her way through the crowd of paparazzi. Numerous cameras flashed in her eyes as photographers tried to get the best shot of her bruised and beaten body. Sam glanced over at Brooke and saw tears slowly falling down her face. "You're okay," She said softly as she squeezed her hand gently.

The ride home was a quiet ride. Hardly any words were spoken, the radio had not been turned on, so the only noise was the hum of the car as it made it's way along the curvy roads of Tree Hill. Once Victoria parked the car in the driveway, Sam helped Brooke out of the front seat and to the door. The first thing she saw when the door opened was the bouquet of Gerber daisies on the countertop; they were her favorite. She then noticed a suitcase on the staircase. "Who's here?" She asked uneasily.

"Julian!" Sam squealed when she saw him round the corner. "What are you doing here?" She ran over to him, his arms outstretched, and embraced him in a long overdue hug.

"Sampson," He grinned. "It's been awhile."

Sam nodded and let him go. Her smile disappeared when she saw the stunned expression on Brooke's face. "You came." She whispered barely loud enough for him to hear.

"I came." He smiled sadly as he began to walk toward her. Seeing her like she was scared him. He knew she had been attacked before but he never saw the bruises and scrapes since they had long since healed when he arrived in town. Her face was swollen and she looked like she was in an excruciating amount of pain by the way she was standing. "I'm here." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her ever so gently desperately trying not to cause her any more pain.

"I'm not going to cry," He heard her whisper against his neck. "I'm not going to cry." She pulled away from his embrace suddenly and walked toward her bedroom. The three of them watched as she walked away and shut her bedroom door.

"She just needs a little time." Victoria said softly.

Julian nodded. "I just hope –"

"Julian?" Her voice called out weakly.

He turned to see her standing in the doorway. Her eyes were glossy with tears and it pained him to see her struggling like she was.

"I need you."

Within seconds he was by her side. Sam and Victoria watched as he shut the door behind them. "Think this will bring them back together?" Sam asked as she sat down on the couch.

"I hope so." She sighed before plopping down beside Sam.

--

"What do you want me to do?" He asked after he closed the door.

"I need you to help me change into something less clingy." She said as she pulled at her shirt. "This hurts too much."

Julian nodded before opening the top left dresser drawer to pull out a pair of sweatpants and an old Hootie and the Blowfish T-shirt. "You remembered?" She smiled for the first time. He nodded as he walked toward her with the clothes in his hands. "Don't say anything when you see what's underneath these clothes, okay?" He nodded again before helping her take her sweater and tank top off. He made the mistake of glancing down quickly. He winced at the sight of her beaten chest and abdomen; there were bruises all over the place and several handprints on her arms. She inhaled sharply when he helped her put the ratty T-shirt on. He unbuttoned her jeans and then carefully slid them down her hips before allowing her to step out of the heaped pile on the floor. Once she was changed, he helped her climb into her bed and pulled the covers up over her. He turned to leave but she reached out and grabbed his arm. "Stay."

He was about to sit down in the chair beside her bed but he saw her patting the spot next to her. "You sure?" He asked as he climbed up beside her.

She nodded. "I'm scared to be alone." She whispered. "Promise you'll be here when I wake up?"

"I promise."

He felt her reach for his hand, which he intertwined with hers. "I don't remember anything." She said it so softly if Julian wasn't watcher her move her lips he wouldn't have heard her say anything. "The last thing I remember doing was turning to see who had walked through the front door to tell them we were closed. I saw four men with masks on charging toward me, I screamed and then one of them hit me in the head with something hard. That's all I remember." She shrugged. Part of him felt relieved to know that she wasn't conscious during the rape.

"There were four of them?" He asked cautiously.

She nodded. "I wasn't just raped by one person." Her voice was full of shame.

"You were gang raped?" He asked becoming enraged.

"It's okay." She said as she placed her hand on his chest. "I don't remember it, it's like it never happened."

"But it did, Brooke! There's no way you can be okay with this."

"I'm not okay with it, Julian—"

"Then why are you acting like you are?"

"Because I have to be strong. I have to set a good example for Sam; she depends on me for support and love and to be her mother. I need to show her that I'm okay." She explained.

"She needs to see you emotional and vulnerable, Brooke. She needs to see that you're hurt and that it's okay to be weak and to depend on others."

"She's already seen me emotional and vulnerable and weak. She's seen me hurt and I have depended on her. She cooked dinner and forced me to eat three meals a day after you ended things so abruptly. She was there for me when you weren't; she's taken care of me before and she'll do the same thing when you go back to LA. She's been here…you haven't." She said.

"And whose fault is that?" He asked his tone more harsh than he had intended.

"Get out." She said as she pointed to the door.

"Brooke, I'm sorry. I—"

"You know, I actually thought you came because you wanted to but you're just here because you feel sorry for me. Poor Brooke, she was raped. Poor Brooke couldn't protect herself. Poor Brooke, poor Brooke, poor Brooke. I'm going through more than you could ever imagine and I want to tell you what's going on with me but you're just going to hop on the next plane back to LA so what's the point? You want to know the real reason I didn't get on that plane with you six months ago?"

He nodded.

"You read the book, you know how it ends. I get screwed over by my best friend and boyfriend at the time and they're able to live happily ever after but not me. I'm broken and broken now because of them. I'm scared to get close to people because I'm terrified they're going to leave me so I leave them before they have the chance. I know it's my fault we're not living in LA right now, together. If we were I wouldn't have been attacked again and raped but I also wouldn't have the relationship I have with my mom and Sam. I've missed you more than you'll ever know, Julian. You don't know how many nights I've laid right here in this bed and asked myself why you ended it. Why weren't you willing to try the long distance thing? Why was I the one who had to uproot and move to your hometown? Why weren't you willing to sacrifice for me? Why can't I be the girl who gets the happy ending?"

Julian stood in her doorway staring at her. "I don't know." He shrugged.

Brooke nodded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "That's what I thought."

He sighed as he opened the door and exited her room. After he shut the door, tears poured from her eyes. He sank down against the door on the other side and listened to her cry knowing he had caused her to do so. So far, his plan to fight for her had failed.


	3. Break

**Sorry it's a short update but an update's an update, right? Enjoy!**

Chapter Three: Broken

It had been three days since Julian had arrived in Tree Hill. He and Brooke had yet to reconcile from the fight they had the day he arrived much to Victoria and Sam's dismay.

"I thought you said you were going to fight for her this time?" Victoria asked as she sat down next to him at the kitchen counter.

He continued to stare at his half full coffee mug instead of looking up at her. He shrugged. "She won't come out of her room."

"So if she won't come out why don't you go in?"

"You don't get it, do you?" He asked as he placed his mug down and turned to look at her for the first time. Victoria stared at him blankly. "She's avoiding me which means she doesn't want me here. It's been three days Mrs. Davis and she has yet to make eye contact with me. I want to fight for her this time, prove to her I'm here because I love her and want to be with her but it's a two way street."

Victoria nodded. "She's always been stubborn."

"And that's one of the many reason I love her but if she doesn't stop being so stubborn she's going to lose everything she cares about. It's going to drive the ones she loves away because she won't compromise."

Victoria narrowed her eyes. "Why does she always have to be the one to compromise?"

"I—"

"See," She started. "You and Lucas and every other boy she's been with always expect more from her than what you yourselves are willing to give. I know Brooke's a selfless person and that's definitely something she did not inherit from me. I see how much of a toll it takes on her because she is always trying to please everyone else when she should really be focusing on herself and what makes her happy. She's like a doormat and you continue to walk all over her." She sighed. "I really like you Julian so don't take this the wrong way. If I didn't care that much about you I wouldn't be telling you all this but I think that what you and Brooke had for that one month was something special, something that could turn into the rest of your lives. Go into her room and force her to look at you, force her to talk to you and tell you why she's so upset. She may scream and yell and say things she doesn't mean but so what? She's the woman you came back for, the one you care about, the one you hurt by ending what you two had. She may be responsible for you leaving but she is not the reason this relationship ended; that was your decision alone. You were too scared to try the long distance thing so when things got hard you ended the best thing that ever happened to you."

Julian surprised himself and maintained eye contact with Victoria throughout her entire tirade. He knew she was right; things did get hard and instead of being a man and trying to make it work he just ended it. "Okay." He nodded as he got up from the barstool.

"I'll take Sam out of the house," She winked. "You know, just in case things get heated."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks."

--

An hour later, Sam and Victoria had left and Julian was pacing in front of her door.

"I know you're out there." He heard her call through the door. He sighed, took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hey," He grinned once he stepped inside her room. "How're you feeling?"

"Better." She shrugged as she struggled to sit up.

"Easy babe." He cautioned as he rushed over and helped her up.

"Why'd you say it?" She asked once he stepped away from the bed.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Don't do this."

"Do what?" He exclaimed as he threw his hands up.

"Shut me out!" She yelled.

"Oh but it's okay for you to do it?"

Brooke nodded. "You hurt me in the worst way possible, Julian. Out of nowhere you call me and end what we had in a thirty second phone call and then I don't hear from you again. I—"

"I hurt you?" He cried. "What about when you left me standing in the airport like a fool? I wanted you and Sam to come to LA with me to live with me and start a life out there together. I wanted to be with you, Brooke."

"You can't possibly think I believe that, can you?"

"Why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that I was in love with you and wanted to be with you?" He yelled.

"We only knew each other for a month!" She cried. "A month, Julian! Do you know how crazy it would have been if after a month of dating you I dropped everything to move out to LA? I don't even know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite section of the Sunday newspaper or what you like in your tea—"

"Why do those things matter?" He exclaimed incredulously.

"Those things mean everything!" She cried. "The little things are the ones that matter the most and you would know that the little things are what matter to me if you knew me but you don't. Do you understand now why I couldn't have just jumped on a plane to be with you? I need to know you better before I make some sort of drastic change like that."

"But you loved me, didn't you?" He asked cautiously.

She nodded as she wiped her eye. "I still do." She whispered.

Her comment shocked him. He had heard it from Victoria but he never thought he'd hear her say it. "Then why couldn't have that been enough?" He asked with tears in his eyes.

She shrugged. "Most of the time love is enough, but it's not enough for me." She said sadly. He saw how much she was struggling so he moved closer to her and sat down beside her on the bed. "High school Brooke would have jumped on that plane with you in a heartbeat but high school Brookes gone, Julian. This Brooke replaced her." She said as she motioned toward her beaten body. "I need to make sure I know exactly what I'm getting in to. I have to examine every possible scenario and make sure it's worth giving something up for. I'm not carefree or a risk taker. I look before I leap and even though I knew you were in love with me I couldn't bring myself to abandon my life here."

He looked at her and watched as a single tear rolled down her bruised cheek. His heart broke and before he could stop himself he wrapped his arms around her frail body and gently pulled him closer to him. "I understand." He whispered into her hair. "But I can't do this anymore."

Brooke pulled back as if she had been burned. "Can't do what?" She asked cautiously.

"This." He said as he motioned between them. "I want to Brooke I really do but I just can't."

"Can't or won't?" She asked as she narrowed her eyes.

"Brooke—"

"You're an ass." She said as she shook her head in disbelief.

"I—" He tried again only to get cut off by her again.

"Where's this coming from? I saw the look in your eyes five minutes ago when I said I still loved you. I know you still love me too so why are you saying this to me right now?" She cried.

"I don't know." He said sadly.

"You seem to say that a lot, Julian." She sighed. "You're scared so you're going to do the one thing you know how to do best: you're going to run."

"Brooke—"

"Don't let me stop you this time." She said as she walked over to the door. "Go."

--

"Momma?" Jamie asked as he thrusted a magazine in her face at the supermarket. "What happened to Aunt Brooke?"

Haley snatched the magazine out of his hand. Tears stung her eyes as she stared at the picture of her best friend walking out of the hospital with Sam on one arm Victoria on the other. "I don't know, buddy."

"Why are you crying?"

"It's just a sad picture, that's all." She said as she wiped her tears away. "Do me a favor and pile all the magazines with Aunt Brooke on them into the cart, okay?"

Jamie nodded and began to collect the magazines as Haley ran into all the other checkout lines and began to collect the magazines there. Why hadn't Brooke called to tell them what had happened? What _had _happened?

After purchasing every single tabloid with Brooke's picture on the cover, she stopped home to get Nathan and then continued over to Brooke's house. Nathan unbuckled Jamie while Haley stormed up to the front door and began to knock incessantly. "Brooke! Brooke open this door right now!" She yelled as she banged her fist against the wood. When the door opened she wasn't expecting to see him. "Julian?" She asked surprised.

"Hey Hales," He grinned. "How've you been?"

Haley pushed Julian aside and stepped inside the house. "She called you? You who live all the way in LA but we who live down the street find out that she was attacked from the cover of a magazine?" She cried. "Where is she?"

"She's in her room but—" Julian couldn't finish because Haley was already pretty much inside Brooke's room.

"What the hell, Brooke?" She cried as she whipped the door open only to regret her harsh words when she saw her laying on her side, crying. "I'm so sorry." She whispered as she sat down beside her and began to rub her back.

"Don't." Brooke croaked. "That hurts."

Haley didn't bother to fight back the tears in her eyes. "What happened?"

"I was attacked again," She cried.

"Oh, Brooke." Haley gasped.

"I was raped too."

"No,"

Brooke nodded. "By four men."

"I am so, so sorry. I—"

"It's okay," Brooke cut her off. "You didn't know."

"But I should have, Brooke. You're my best friend." She smiled weakly. "So, Julian?"

Brooke's face fell. "Don't." She pleaded. "Don't go there right now, okay?"

--

Julian waited until Victoria and Sam returned from their day out. He knew they were both going to be upset with him and he knew they would be justified but it was too hard. Coming back had been a mistake and fighting for her? Who was he kidding? Lucas was right…she never fought back.

"Julian?" Sam asked uneasily when she saw the suitcase the moment she entered the house. "Where are you going?"

"Back to LA." He replied as he stood up.

"But—"

"Sam this is hard enough." He interrupted. "I love you and I always will but coming back here was a big mistake. I'm always just a phone call away—"

"You don't get it!" She yelled as she stormed off to her bedroom before slamming the door.

"So this is it? You're just going to leave?" Victoria asked with her arms crossed.

"You don't understand—"

"I thought you were different. I thought you were going to be the one who made her see its okay to take risks and be loved. I thought you were going to fight for her but you're just like Lucas."

"That's a low blow and you know it." He said angrily.

Victoria shrugged. "It's the truth and you know it."

Julian didn't say another word. Instead, he grabbed his coat and wheeled his suitcase out of the house but not before slamming the door behind him.

--

"You're just going to give up?"

He turned at the sound of her voice. "Brooke—"

"No." She said as she held up her hand. "Let me say what I need to say before I lose the nerve. We're broken. We both said things today we didn't mean that hurt each other. I told you that I'm scared to fall in love because I'm terrified I'm going to get hurt but I'm not afraid anymore…you changed that. I made the mistake of not fighting for the man I loved several years ago and thanks to his book we know how well that turned out. I'm not going to make that mistake again, Julian. I love you more than I ever loved him and I'm not going to let the boy get away this time. It's my turn to be happy and to be loved. It's my turn to get the guy and to finally have that happy ending. I'm scared to death to let you into my heart but I'm more scared of not having you in my life and that's exactly what's going to happen if I let you get on that airplane. If you step onto that plane, who knows how long we'll go before one of us decides to stop being stubborn and call. Call me crazy but after dating you for a month I knew I was head over heels in love with you but I was too damn stubborn to admit it. I want you in my life again, Julian. I want to know every little thing about you, I want to challenge you, I want to tease you and mock you but most of all I want to love you. You can't just walk away when things get hard, that's no way—" She was cut off by his lips as they pressed against hers.

"I love you." He said when they finally separated.

"I love you too." She smiled as she said those three words to him for the first time. "And I'm sorry I called you an ass earlier."

"You were upset and I deserved it." He said as he grinned his adorable grin.

She smiled. "You can't leave when things get tough."

He nodded. "You can't be so stubborn all the time."

"We're both going to have to compromise." She smiled as she looked up at him and watched as he nodded in agreement.

"You ready to go home?" He asked after kissing her again. She nodded. He saw the paparazzi approaching but she didn't seem to tense up like he expected. She had a t-shirt and sweatpants on along with no make up and her hair was thrown up in a ponytail on top of her head. Her wounds were extremely visible along with several handprints but she didn't flinch.

"These pictures…" Julian said softly as they walked out of the airport hand in hand with several paparazzi snapping pictures all around them.

"It's okay," She smiled. "I don't care anymore."

He squeezed her hand gently. "Everyone's damaged in some way or another, right?"

"Exactly." She smiled as she looked up at him. He cracked jokes the rest of the walk toward the car just to get her to laugh because God had he missed hearing her laugh.

"Mint chip, travel section and honey with a splash of cream." He whispered in her ear as they neared her car.

"What?" She laughed.

"Favorite ice cream, Sunday newspaper section and what I like in my tea." He grinned.

She laughed again as she unlocked her door. In that moment, he decided as he slid into the passenger seat, he couldn't have been happier. They're relationship was far from perfect but they were together and that was all that mattered. She cared enough about him to show up at the airport and stop him from getting on that plane. She loved him enough to fight for him.

--

Please review!


	4. Cheat

Chapter Four: Cheat

On their way home from the airport Brooke and Julian stopped to pick up a few things for dinner. When they arrived back at the house, they found Victoria and Sam pacing in the living room with worried expressions on their faces.

"Where the hell were you?" Sam exclaimed when she saw Brooke walk through the door. "Julian?" She asked surprised as she looked at the man who had his arm around Brooke.

"I couldn't let him leave this time." Brooke shrugged as a smile appeared on her face.

Sam smiled at Brooke's happiness. "Well next time you decide to chase after him can you at least let us know you're leaving? We were worried about you!"

"Of course," She smiled as she walked over and hugged Sam.

"You seem happy." Victoria smirked as she sat down on the couch.

Brooke shrugged again. "I am." She grinned as she glanced over at Julian.

"Peyton called while you were out," She sighed. "She said she and Mike have some news they want to share with you."

Brooke stopped unloading the grocery bag and looked over at her mother. "Did she say what kind of news?"

Victoria shook her head. "She said they were leaving Maryland tonight and should be here late tomorrow morning."

"Who's Mike?" Julian asked.

"Peyton's home wrecker boyfriend." Sam replied as she plopped down beside Victoria.

"Sam!" Brooke scolded. "Don't call him that."

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's the truth."

Brooke rolled her eyes and eventually nodded. "Still, don't say stuff like that."

"What happened to her and Lucas?" He asked.

Sam laughed. "You missed a lot while you were in LA. She and Lucas have been divorced for about as long as you've been gone."

Julian was about to ask more questions but Brooke stopped him. "I'll explain everything later." She smiled as she patted him on the chest. "Help me make dinner."

--

The next morning came fast. Before she knew it, Peyton was knocking frantically on the front door. Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of bed to answer the door. "I'm coming!" She called which woke up Julian who was sleeping on the couch. "Sorry babe." She smiled once she realized what she had done. "Peyt?" She asked as she placed her hand on the doorknob.

"Brooke!" She squealed. "Open the door!"

"I will but before I do I need you to promise not to get emotional—"

"Brooke," She laughed. "What's going on?"

"Peyton. Please just promise?" She begged.

"Okay." She replied.

Brooke inhaled deeply before opening the door to expose herself to Peyton, Mike and Connor. When Peyton saw the attack marks all over her best friend's body her eyes immediately flooded with tears. "You promised." Brooke's voice cracked as her eyes began to pool when she saw Peyton's.

"I know," She said as she dropped her bag and gently pulled Brooke into a hug. "What happened?"

Brooke pulled away and shook her head. "I'll tell you later." She turned her attention to the little boy in Mike's arms. "Hey buddy, how are you?"

"Aunt Brooke!" Connor exclaimed as he tried to wiggle out of Mike's arms.

"Aunt Brooke's kind of sore right now, bud I'm sorry I can't hold you." She said as she frowned. "But I can make you some pancakes!"

"Chocolate chip?" He asked as his eyes lit up.

"Is there any other kind?" She smiled as she placed her hands on her hips.

Connor shook his head as Mike placed him down so he could run into the house. The three of them followed behind the energetic three-year-old with smiles on their faces. "How've you been Mike?" Brooke asked but before he could respond, Peyton squealed.

"Julian?! What are you doing here?" She asked as she ran over to hug him.

He smiled as he embraced her. "Brooke called." He answered simply.

"Sam!" Brooke shouted. "Come out and say hi to everyone!"

"Sam's back?" Peyton asked.

Brooke laughed. "You really shouldn't live in Maryland, you miss way too much."

Peyton smiled as she glanced over at Mike who nodded. "We don't live in Maryland anymore."

"Why—"

"We bought a house in Tree Hill!" She exclaimed.

Brooke screamed and hobbled over to hug Peyton. "Where?"

"Pelican Circle." Mike answered as he snaked his arm around Peyton's waist.

--

"You're really moving back here?" Brooke asked for the fifth time as they all ate breakfast together.

Peyton laughed at Brooke's giddiness before nodding. "This is home."

Brooke placed her fork down beside her plate. "Does Lucas know?"

She shook her head. "Not yet."

"Peyton!" Brooke exclaimed. "How could you not tell him?"

Julian glanced over at Sam and Mike who both looked uncomfortable. "Why don't we take Connor down to the ocean?" He suggested as he stood up.

"Good idea." Sam smiled as she followed him.

"C'mon Con." Mike said as he lifted the boy up out of the chair. Brooke smiled weakly at Julian who nodded before leading Sam, Mike and Connor out of the house and down the staircase to the beach.

"He's your ex husband and the father of your son, Peyton." She sighed as she leaned back in the chair. "He deserves to know you're moving back."

"I'm scared to tell him though. He's going to be so mad and hurt and—"

"Whose fault is that?" Brooke interrupted.

Peyton looked down at the table so she wouldn't have to look at Brooke when she answered. "Mine." She said softly.

She sighed. "Why'd you do it, Peyt?"

Peyton shrugged as she wiped away the tears that had begun to fall. "We got married right out of college because that's what everyone expected us to do because everyone thought that we were destined to be with each other but we're not, Brooke."

"But you two loved each other." She tried.

Peyton smiled sadly. "Sometimes love isn't enough."

"But it should have been enough for you and Luke." Brooke said as she shook her head. "I was there at your wedding; I saw how in love you both were with each other so what changed? One minute you two are together and living three houses down and the next you take Connor and move to Maryland. What gives, Peyton?"

"You know what happened," She sighed.

"I know what caused you to leave and file for divorce." Brooke clarified. "What I don't know is what drove you to do what you did."

"Somewhere along the way I fell out of love with him."

Brooke stood up angrily and walked over to the sink. She started to scrub her plate but Peyton's remark had left a sour taste in her mouth. "Bullshit!" She yelled as she threw the porcelain plate toward the floor.

Peyton jumped when she heard the plate shatter. "What the hell, Brooke?" She exclaimed.

"He gave up being published for you; he gave up his dreams for you, Peyton. He loved you unconditionally, fathered your child and has been the best dad to Connor but how do you repay him? You cheat on him." She sneered.

"I didn't cheat!" Peyton defended.

"Maybe not physically but emotionally you did and you know it."

"Why are you taking his side? I'm your best friend, Brooke!"

"I'm not taking his side but I know how he feels because I know what it feels like when the person you love with your whole heart has feelings for another person. You still are my best friend but that doesn't mean I agree with or condone what you've done to Lucas." She sighed as she bent down to clean up the broken plate.

Peyton leaned down to help her. "I'm sorry."

Brooke looked up at her. "I know you are but you haven't been here to see how depressed he is since you took Connor away from him. You're not the one who gets called to go and pick him up at the bar because he's had too much to drink. You don't have to see him mope around for days because he doesn't know what to do anymore now that his world is gone. You and Connor meant everything to him, Peyton; I don't understand how you could just give it all up for Mike."

Peyton didn't answer. Instead, she changed the subject to Brooke. "When are you going to tell me what happened to you?"

"I was attacked five days ago." Brooke sighed as she stood up.

"Oh my god," Peyton gasped. "I'm so sorry, Brooke."

She shrugged. "It's okay."

"How is it okay?"

"It happened, it's over and I'm fine." Brooke answered with a small smile.

Peyton shook her head. "There is no way you can be fine with this. I'm not fine with this!" She exclaimed.

"I have bigger things going on in my life right now—"

"Nothing can possibly be bigger than you being attacked. You need to deal with this Brooke instead of just pretending like it never happened because you're never going to recover if you don't." Peyton interrupted.

"I don't even remember being raped though!"

Peyton stared blankly at her. "You were raped?"

"I didn't mention that part?" Brooke asked as she scrunched up her nose and avoided eye contact.

Peyton shook her head as she walked over to Brooke and pulled her into a hug. "That's why Julian's here, huh?" She asked softly. Brooke nodded. "He's good for you."

"You really think so?" Brooke asked as she pulled away from Peyton's embrace. She nodded. "That means a lot coming from you." Brooke smiled contently.

"So what kind of big things are going on with you Brooke Davis?" Peyton asked as she jumped up onto the counter to sit.

Before Brooke could answer, Connor came running into the house. "Mommy!" He squealed. "Look what daddy found for me!" He handed Peyton a broken shell.

"It's so pretty!" Peyton smiled as she held the shell in her hand. "Why don't you go give it to Sam? I'm sure she'd love it." Connor nodded eagerly before running back outside toward the beach. Peyton turned back toward Brooke hoping for an answer but instead she saw her with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "What?" She asked innocently.

"Mike's not Connor's dad."

"Brooke—"

"Do you know how hurt Lucas is going to be when he hears his son call another man 'daddy,' Peyton? It's not like Lucas walked away from his son and Mike took his place—"

"Don't lecture me." Peyton interrupted as she slipped off the countertop and walked toward the slider.

Brooke sighed angrily as she walked over and joined Peyton at the slider looking out at Mike, Julian, Sam and Connor all playing by the water's edge. "I'm sorry."

Peyton turned toward her. "I am too." She said softly. "It's just hard, you know? I didn't mean to ruin my marriage. I didn't expect to feel something for Mike when he started recording in the studio but I did and Lucas and I were having more and more fights so it was just easy to feel something towards Mike. He made me laugh and feel better about myself the way Luke was supposed to. I know I sound crazy when I say I fell out of love with my husband but it's the truth and not a day goes by where I don't feel guilty for leaving him but I did and I can't go back and change it." She said sadly. "But I'm so happy now, Brooke. Mike's great with Connor and I don't know when or why he decided to start calling Mike daddy but he did and it's only natural when he's spent every day for the last six months with Mike."

Brooke leaned against the cold glass and shook her head. "Wasn't there a time in your life when Lucas made you laugh and feel better about yourself?"

Peyton nodded.

"Wasn't there a time when you were madly in love with him and thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with him by your side?"

Again, Peyton nodded.

"So what makes Mike different? Why couldn't you have gone to counseling to try and save your marriage with Lucas instead of taking the easy way out and leaving him? What if another man comes along while you're with Mike and you start to feel some sort of an attraction toward him? Are you going to leave Mike like you left Luke?"

"I don't know." Peyton answered honestly. "I don't like it when things get hard—"

"Relationships aren't supposed to be easy." Brooke interrupted. "You're supposed to fight and slam doors and tell him he's sleeping on the couch for the night. You're allowed to get mad and yell at each other. You're expected to fight over the petty things every once in a while. What you're not supposed to do is walk away when things get difficult because it's only when things are hard that you realize how much you love the other person and how badly you're willing to fight for them. That's when you realize you'd do anything to make them happy again because you don't like seeing the person you love in pain. That's when you experience what true love feels like." Brooke said.

"How did you become so wise?" Peyton smiled as she slung her arm around Brooke's shoulder.

"It only took about five years and a certain producer boyfriend to figure it out." She shrugged before smiling. "But seriously, Peyton, figure out what you want to do in this life. If it's marry Mike, great! If you want to get back with Luke, fine! Just figure it out before you end up hurting more people."

Peyton nodded solemnly. "I've missed you Brooke Davis." She grinned.

"I've missed you too, P. Sawyer." Brooke said as she hugged her best friend.

--

That night, after Mike, Peyton and Connor left, Sam retreated to her bedroom, Brooke to hers and Julian back to the couch. Brooke had told him she wasn't ready to let him sleep in her bedroom just yet and he completely understood. He really didn't mind the couch; if he positioned the pillows just the right way he actually slept well.

It was about two in the morning when he woke up to her screaming. Sam heard her too because she followed him into her room.

"Brooke," He said softly as he gently shook her shoulder but she continued to cry out. "You're just having a dream. It's okay."

Sam watched from the doorway with tears in her eyes. Brooke shouldn't be this broken; she didn't deserve to feel like she did. Sam felt helpless but she knew she was doing the right thing by standing off to the side.

He had finally gotten her to open her eyes. "You're okay," He soothed as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"It happened again." She said breathlessly as her eyes darted around the room.

"What did?" He asked.

"The attack, I was in the store and it happened again—"

"It was just a dream." Julian stopped her.

Brooke shook her head. "It was so real though."

"It was just a dream." He repeated as he scooted closer to her. He nodded at Sam who smiled weakly back at him before turning and heading back to her room.

"Can you stay here with me?" She whispered in the dark.

"I wasn't planning on leaving." He whispered back before kissing her hair. She moved over to make room for him before cuddling up in his arms. He listened to her breaths become shallower and sooner than he expected, she was asleep again. He on the other hand couldn't fall back asleep so he lay awake with her in his arms until the sun rose just a few hours later.

"Morning," She croaked as she fluttered open her eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well." He lied. "What about you?"

"I slept well too." She said as she stretched her arms out. "I wish I could stay in bed all day."

"Why don't you?"

Brooke laughed. "I have a job and a teenager to take care of. I can't just lie around in bed all day."

Julian shifted slightly. "You're not going back to work quite yet and I'm here to take care of the teenager." He grinned. "So you have no excuses not to stay in bed all day."

"Julian—"

"Let me take care of you." He said before kissing the top of her head. "Here." He said as he handed her the remote. "Find something good to watch while I get Sam up."

Brooke stared at the remote in Julian's hand. Could she really just stay in bed all day? She was sure her mom wouldn't mind running the store, she had told Brooke not to return for a few weeks anyways but she planned on returning in a few days. Sam was seventeen and she should be able to take care of herself but if she couldn't then she had Julian, right? Right. She smiled before reaching for the remote. "I will." She said as she flicked on the television.

"That's my girl." Julian smiled as he reluctantly got out of the bed to wake Sam up for school since it was Monday morning.

About an hour later, he returned to her bedroom. "I figured you might be hungry." He said as he walked in with a tray full of breakfast foods.

"You made me breakfast in bed?" She asked in surprise as she struggled to sit up.

He nodded. "Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, fresh strawberries and some orange juice." He said proudly as he placed the tray on her lap.

"You didn't have to do this, you know." She said as she reached for the fork.

"If you're going to stay in bed all day you have to do it the right way."

"There's a right way?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

Julian nodded before reaching onto the tray for a strawberry. "Are you up for some company today?"

"What kind?"

"Just me." He answered simply.

"Only if you'll watch The Breakfast Club with me," She smirked as she handed him the DVD to put in.

He laughed as he inserted the disc. "Haven't you seen this movie like fifty times already?"

"Yeah," She shrugged. "So what?"

"You just like watching the stoner and the priss—"

"They end up together, you know." Brooke cut him off.

"I know." He smiled. "But that's why you like to watch it, huh?"

Brooke nodded and snuggled closer to him. "It makes me believe in love again each time I watch it."

"Me too." Julian agreed softly as the movie began to play.

About halfway through, his phone rang. Brooke paused the movie so he could answer it. She watched his facial expressions and couldn't help but have a sinking feeling in her heart. When he finally hung up, he looked like he had just seen a ghost. "What's wrong?" She asked warily, scared of his answer.

"That was Megan." He said as he stared down at his cell phone.

"Who's Megan?"

"A girl out in LA." Julian replied.

Brooke tensed at his answer. "What did she say?"

"She's pregnant."

--

Review please!!


	5. Pray

Chapter Five: Pray

She was pregnant. His whole world had changed in that moment he found out she was expecting a child. He knew he couldn't just stay in Tree Hill because he'd be abandoning his own child but he couldn't go back to LA and risk losing Brooke, they had just gotten back to where they used to be and now this? His mind was racing as he continued to stare at the paused screen on the television. He had no idea what was running through her mind, neither of them had spoken since he uttered those life-changing words half an hour ago.

"This isn't fair." She said so softly he wasn't sure she had spoken until she turned to look at him helplessly.

"I am so, so sorry, Brooke." He said as he placed his hand on top of hers.

She moved her hand. "I know you are. So you and Megan dated?"

Julian shook his head. "I wouldn't say we ever dated. We never went out, she practically lived in my apartment with me, I basically just used her." He admitted. Brooke looked questionably at him. "I was so upset after I called you that night that I went to the bar to get drunk but I ended up taking home a girl instead. All I wanted was a one night stand so I could stop thinking about you but it turned into a six month affair. I didn't feel anything toward her but I didn't want her to leave because if she did I would have realized how alone I was so I offered for her to keep some of her stuff at my place. We were careful though, she was on the pill and we always used condoms when we had sex. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"Do you feel anything for her now that she's having your baby?"

He shrugged. "Should I?"

"I can't answer that for you." She said as she shook her head.

"I'm scared to death to have a kid, Brooke." He said as he got up from the bed and began to pace in front of her. "But at the same time I couldn't be happier. Up until I got that phone call I never saw myself being a father and having a kid but now I realize how much I want all that. But I want all of that with you, not Megan. I want little replicas of us running around the house, a girl with your chocolate hair and my grin, a boy with your dimples and my eyes. I want to coach little league and soccer, I want you to be on the sidelines cheering our kids on waiting with water and oranges for half-time." He smiled but it immediately faded when he saw tears cascading down her face. "What's wrong?" He asked as he walked toward her side of the bed and sat down beside her.

"It's nothing." She shook her head.

"Brooke," He said as he took her hands in his. "I'm not leaving you this time."

"It's not that." She whispered.

"Then what is it?"

"You want to have kids." She said sadly as she tugged at the hem of his shirt for a distraction.

"You don't?" He asked as he lifted her chin with his finger so she was looking him in the eye. He saw her eyes pool with tears and he watched as she shut them in an effort to keep them from falling but she failed. They fell anyway. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I can't." She cried as she shook her head.

"Brooke. Don't do this!" He exclaimed. "Let me in goddamnit!" He let go of her hands and walked toward the door.

Her voice stopped him. "I just did." She said softly.

"No," He argued. "You didn't." He continued to walk out.

"I can't have children." She cried. He stopped in the doorway and turned around to see her shaking and crying.

"Who told you that?" He asked as he took her hands once again.

"The doctor who took the rape kit in the hospital." She answered sadly.

"I am so sorry for flipping out on you like I just did." He took her into his arms. "We're going to get through this." He whispered into her hair.

Due to his lack of sleep the previous night, he fell asleep with her in his arms within moments of lying down on the bed together. She on the other hand lay wide-awake. Megan can give him the one thing he wanted: a family and that scared her to death. Why would he want to stay with her when all she'd do was deprave him from his dream? He deserved to be happy and to be a father, which was why she got up from the bed and dragged his suitcase out of the closet. She repacked half of what he had brought with him to Tree Hill strategically so he'd come back for the other half. She must have made more noise than she thought because she looked up from the suitcase to see him staring at her confused. "What are you doing?" He asked sleepily.

"You need to go see Megan." She answered as she placed his toothbrush in one of the small compartments.

"Brooke—"

"I'm not doing this for Megan, I'm doing this for you and your child." She smiled weakly.

Julian shook his head at her selflessness. He remained in bed a moment longer before walking over to her closet and dragging out her suitcase. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm not leaving Tree Hill without you this time."

"Jul—"

"No." He cut her off. "You're the woman I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. And besides, one of the best fertility doctors in the country is in LA I figure we can swing by there because I'm not giving up hope on having a family with you. So what do you say?"

Brooke smiled. "What about Sam?"

"I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind staying her for a little while." He shrugged. "Or she could come with us. It's totally up to you."

Brooke shook her head. "She has school and I'm pretty sure she and Jack can't stay apart for more than three hours before one of them has a panic attack. I'll call my mom and ask."

She got up off the floor and walked out of the room to call her mom while Julian remained to continue packing. His suitcase was ready to go so he figured he'd pack hers.

A few minutes later she returned. "My mom said it's not a problem to stay here." She smiled as she began to help him pack.

"That's good."

"I also called Peyton to tell her about everything. She asked yesterday and then Connor came running in and I didn't get a chance to answer—"

"Are you sure your okay with telling everyone?" He asked.

"I need to tell her, she's my best friend. Besides, I can't deal with this on my own anymore."

Julian scooted closer to her and wrapped her in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." She replied right before the doorbell rang. "That's Peyton." She said as she stood up. "Would you mind finishing this up?"

"Not at all." He replied as he reverted back to folding her clothes and stacking them in the suitcase.

"Hales!" Brooke exclaimed when she opened the door and saw her standing on the front porch instead of the curly haired blonde she was expecting. "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought you'd like to know you're going to have a goddaughter!" She squealed as she handed Brooke the newest sonogram picture. "I know Nathan and I said we were going to wait until she was born to find out the sex but we just couldn't so we asked the doctor today." She rambled as she pushed by Brooke into the house and made herself comfortable on the couch.

As Brooke held the sonogram in her hand she couldn't help but feel angry. Nathan and Haley didn't mean to get pregnant with Jamie senior year but they did and this baby wasn't planned either just like Connor wasn't planned for Lucas and Peyton. "Brooke?" Haley said as she placed her hand on Brooke's arm. "What's up?"

"Why is it so easy for everyone else?" She asked as she sank down on the couch beside Haley.

"What are you talking about?" Haley asked as she watched Brooke continue to stare at the sonogram picture.

"What did I do to deserve this, Hales?"

"I don't know but maybe I'd have a better idea if you told me what's going on with you." She said gently.

"I've wanted a baby ever since I returned three years ago."

Haley smiled. "You're going to have a baby someday, Brooke when it's meant to happen. It's going to happen, I promise."

"It's not though." Brooke said as she shook her head.

"It is," Haley protested. "Once you meet the right guy and get married you'll finally have the baby you've always wanted."

"Haley," Brooke sighed. "It's not going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Remember how I told you last week when you came over that I had bigger things going on in my life?" She watched as Haley nodded. "I found out I can't have children."

Haley was about to open her mouth but was cut off when the doorbell rang. "Just know that I didn't know you were coming over. I called her because I needed to tell her what I just told you before I go to LA so please don't fight." Brooke pleaded.

"Who?" Haley asked. But before Brooke could answer she strolled in. "Peyton?" She said in disgust when she saw the blonde for the first time in six months. "What the hell is she doing back?"

"Haley," Brooke sighed. "Please."

"Hi Haley." Peyton said meekly.

Haley snorted. "Don't 'hi Haley' me like nothing's happened. How could you do that to Lucas?"

"I don't have to justify what I did to you." Peyton sighed as she sat down in a chair opposite the couch where Haley was sitting. "You weren't part of my marriage, Haley."

"I'm his best friend!" She cried.

Peyton screamed at Haley only to have her yell back. Brooke stood in the middle of the two of them with her arms crossed. She wished Haley had called before coming over so this whole thing could have been avoided. Ever since she found out Peyton had been having an 'affair of the heart' as she liked to call it, she had been adamant on ruining Peyton just like she had ruined Lucas.

"Guys!" Brooke exclaimed. "Stop fighting!"

Haley and Peyton both shut their mouths and looked at Brooke timidly. "Sorry." They both muttered.

"I miss the times when the three of us were best friends. Haley, Peyton's sorry for what she did but you weren't part of her marriage and like she said she doesn't have to justify to you why she left Lucas with Connor. And Peyton, Haley has a right to be mad at you for just walking away and not looking back. You're both justified in your reasoning for being mad but can we just put that aside right now because I need my two best friends more than ever." She said as she sank down on the couch beside Haley.

Peyton glanced over at Haley who seemed to know what was going on but she was still in the dark. "What's up, Brooke?" She asked.

"Remember yesterday you asked me what kind of big things I had going on in my life?"

Peyton nodded. "You were about to answer but Connor ran in."

"I can't have kids."

Peyton's face fell. "How—"

Brooke shrugged. "During the rape exam they stumbled upon it."

Peyton got up from the chair and sat down beside her best friend. Haley reached for her hand while Peyton rubbed her back. "Is there anyway they could be wrong? What about a second opinion?" She asked.

"I haven't really looked into anything yet but she said there's a pretty slim chance that I'll ever be able to conceive a child." She cried. "I've wanted this so badly for the past three years. I feel like I'm failing Julian because—"

"You're not failing me." He said and all three of them turned toward his voice in surprise.

"Julian." She said softly as she wiped her eyes. Peyton and Haley watched as he walked over toward them.

"Don't you ever feel like you're failing me, Brooke. You are the best thing that's happened to me and I know that Megan's pregnancy is tearing you up inside because if the roles were reversed I know that's how I'd feel. You're scared to death that I'm going to leave you for her but I'm not going to, I promise." He said as he took her hands into his. "I love you."

Peyton and Haley wiped their eyes at Julian's small declaration of love. It amazed them how in love they were with each other after only dating formally for a month but when it came to love they both knew Brooke loved deeply and fiercely. She was slow to open her heart up to love but once she did, she had no intentions of letting go. Unless of course she felt threatened by something or someone, which, always happened, and she ended up sabotaging the relationship before she ended up hurt and alone.

"What time is our flight?" She asked.

"We should get going, it takes off in about two hours." He answered before kissing the top of her head. She nodded before getting up from the couch and walking back toward her bedroom.

Once she shut the door, Peyton and Haley figured it would be a good time to talk to Julian. "She's going to feel threatened when you get to LA." Haley started.

"You're going to have to constantly assure her that you love her because when she sees Megan and her growing belly she's going to start doubting you and your promise to stay with her." Peyton said. Haley glanced down guiltily at her ever-expanding six-month pregnant belly.

"These next nine months are going to be excruciatingly painful for her but she's strong and she's going to get through it." Haley assured him. "There're going to be times when you just want to give up on her but don't because I don't think you'd be able to win her back if you did and you two are better when you're together." She smiled.

"Take care of her." Peyton said when she heard Brooke open her door. "And most importantly, love her."

Julian nodded at their words. "Thank you."

Haley and Peyton smiled. "You're welcome." They replied in unison before scowling at each other.

"I'm ready." Brooke said as she wheeled her suitcase to the door. "Would you two mind stopping in every now and then just to check up on my mom and Sam? Separately of course." She smirked.

Peyton and Haley nodded. "Definitely." They both said at the same time

"Stop doing that!" Peyton exclaimed.

Haley rolled her eyes. "I'll see you when you get back." She said as she walked toward the door.

"Bye Hales," Brooke said as she embraced her in a hug.

Peyton followed in Haley's footsteps. "Bye Brooke."

"Bye, I'm going to miss you."

"Bye Julian." She smiled as she hugged him after Brooke.

"Ready for this?" He asked once they were alone in the house.

She shook her head. "No." She answered honestly as she walked toward the door with her suitcase.

"Hey," He called as he remained in the same spot. She turned at the sound of his voice. "I love you."

"I love you too." She said softly. To Julian, it sounded almost as if she answered with a question, like she wasn't sure of her answer.

--

The plane was approaching its decent into Los Angeles and Brooke's stomach was in knots. Her knuckles were white from clenching the armrest so tightly. "Baby," Julian whispered in her ear. "You're going to be okay."

Brooke nodded and eased her clench on the armrest. "So much for a relaxing day in bed, huh?"

Julian nodded his head in agreement as he watched the skyline of the smoggy city come into view, silently praying he and Brooke would be okay in LA.

--

Review please!!


	6. Skip

Chapter Six: Skip

"Welcome to LA." Julian said as they walked out of the airport.

Brooke smiled as she reached for his hand. "You know, one would think I've been here before considering I have a store in Beverly Hills but I haven't."

Julian laughed. "You've never been to your own store?" He asked as they walked toward the car that was waiting for them.

She shook her head. "My mom managed the Beverly Hills store. Actually," She laughed. "She managed all the stores, I was just the name and face of the company."

"Well what do you say I show you around before heading back to my place?"

"Can we do that some other time?" She asked while she watched him load their bags into the trunk. "It's been a long day."

He nodded. "That is has."

The ride to his house was spent with him pointing out certain things that meant something to him. There was the coffee shop where he got a call from Steven Spielberg, the park where he read his first great script, the office building out of which he worked and finally the apartment in which he lived. He couldn't help but notice how quiet she had been during the five-hour plane ride and the drive home. "What's on your mind, beautiful girl?" He asked as he reached for her hand in the elevator.

"Megan." She replied.

He sighed. This was how the next nine months would go he presumed and most likely the rest of his life. Megan would always be there for she was the mother of his child. That meant awkward Thanksgivings, Easters and Christmases not to mention birthday parties. He knew he would be able to get through them but he worried about her. She was insecure enough but now that he was going to have a child with another woman he was pretty sure he'd sent her over the edge but for some reason she was still by his side. She hadn't pushed him away this time; she hadn't said no when he retrieved her suitcase from the closet. She hadn't made him get on the plane by himself and she wasn't about to let him go through this alone. She was there and that was all that mattered to him.

"What if she's lying?" She asked suddenly.

"Why would she do that?" He asked defensively.

She shrugged her shoulders. "You're extremely wealthy, you're guaranteed to make a name for yourself in the movie industry so she knows she can get a lot of money out of you—"

"Stop, Brooke." He said as he dropped her hand. "You're unbelievable. Megan wouldn't do that, she's not that type of girl."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to his floor. He stepped out first while she followed behind him with her head hung low. "I'm sorry for the mess." He muttered when he opened the door to reveal several empty beer bottles strewn across the apartment, heaps of clothing and take out containers everywhere. She watched as he went to what she presumed to be the linen closet and retrieved a few blankets before tossing them onto the couch. "You can have the bed." He said as he nodded over to the left in the direction of his bedroom.

"You don't have to do that." She said as she walked toward him and reached for his hand. He backed away with his hands held up in defense.

"I don't want you to touch me right now." He said.

"Julian, please." She begged.

"She wouldn't lie about being pregnant, Brooke."

She nodded before walking away from him. As much as she wanted to argue the point she figured it was best to walk away before one of them said something they'd end up regretting moments later. "So I guess I'll see you in the morning?" She asked from his doorway.

He didn't respond. Instead, he began to lie out his blankets on the couch and pretend like he didn't hear her. She sighed and lingered a moment longer before turning and walking into his bedroom before shutting the door. She changed into the pajamas Julian had packed for her and climbed into his bed but she couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts of Megan swarmed her brain. She jumped when she heard the door open but eased when she saw him standing there in the doorway. He didn't say a word as he maintained eye contact with her in the dimly lit room. She noticed how worn and tired he looked as she fully took in his appearance for the first time. Slowly he walked toward the bed and climbed in next to her and slid under the covers. He moved his body closer to her and gently wrapped his arms around her small frame. "I'm scared." He whispered.

She absent-mindedly rubbed his arm, which made goose bumps engulf his body. "We're going to make it through this." She assured him.

--

"You know, this whole us being three hours a head of LA thing is getting annoying." Sam huffed as she shoved another scoop of ice cream into her mouth.

Jack laughed. "They haven't even been gone a whole day yet."

"I know, but I want to call them but then I realize that they're still sleeping because it's four in the morning there but it's already seven here." She sighed. "Want some?" She asked Jack as she pushed the carton of ice cream toward him.

He shook his head. "I don't really consider ice cream to be a breakfast food."

"Suit yourself." Sam shrugged before shoving another spoonful into her mouth. "Wanna ditch today?"

"Victoria would be livid if she found out we skipped school."

"How would she find out?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow. "I for one am definitely not going to tell her."

Jack stared at her dumbfounded. "Sam, the school calls the house if you don't show up. She's going to find out."

"No she's not." She argued as she jumped up to return the ice cream to the freezer. "She left about an hour ago for some big conference thing in Charlotte. She won't be back until late tonight."

Jack smiled. "Really?"

"And Brooke and Julian are out of town and your foster parents don't really give a damn about you in the first place so I doubt they'll care if we skip." She shrugged.

"We're really going to do this?" He asked as they walked toward the front door.

She nodded. "Unless of course you're too scared we're going to get caught. Then I suppose we can go to school and sit in class all day and listen to the teacher drone on and on about stuff we really don't care about."

"Where are we going to go?" He grinned.

"I have an idea." She said as she reached for her keys that were on the table beside the door.

--

He had woken up around five with her still in his arms. He smiled to himself when he saw how peaceful she looked while she slept. In one swift moment, last night played over in his mind. He knew he had upset her when he told her she was being unbelievable and in retrospect, he decided it probably wasn't the best thing to say to the girl who has a history of leaving when things get hard but what was done was done. Still feeling guilty, he slipped out of bed carefully and headed for the front door.

About an hour later she woke up alone in his bed. She stumbled out, wrapped the down comforter around herself and wandered out into the main room. "Hey," He smiled when he saw her. He laughed at the comforter she had draped around her.

"Why is it so cold in your house?" She asked as walked toward him.

"The sun will warm this place up in a little bit." He said nodding toward the floor to ceiling glass window that overlooked Los Angeles. She didn't notice that last night. "There's some fleece pants and a few sweatshirts in my closet if you want to put them on for some more layers."

She nodded. "What are you making?"

He looked down at the onion he was cutting up. "I was a dick last night so I figured I could make it up for you by making breakfast."

She smiled and cocked her head to the side. "You don't have to do that. I'm sorry for saying what I did last night. If you say she wouldn't lie then she wouldn't, I don't know her so it's not fair to make accusations."

He placed the knife down before walking around to the side of the island on which she was standing. "I'm just jealous." She murmured against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I know," He said softly. "I called her and said she can meet me here around eleven."

She nodded. "I think I'm going to go change into something warmer." She said as she pulled away from him leaving him in the kitchen alone.

--

As they lay on one of the picnic tables at the River Court, Sam couldn't help but feel content. "This is one of the most perfect days." She smiled.

"It's November, freezing out, and we're laying on a picnic table right by the water." He laughed. "I wouldn't call this perfect."

She giggled as she flipped over onto her stomach. "Ignore all that. We're together and alone and—"

He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers. "Stop talking." He whispered against her mouth. With each passing minute the intensity of their kisses became stronger and deeper. She suddenly pulled away from him and made him look her in the eye.

"I want you to be my first."

He took her hands in his. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked.

She nodded. "I've never been more sure of anything."

He smiled widely before kissing her again. He jumped off the picnic table and extended a hand to her and together they walked back to her car. Once they arrived back home, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. She led him to her bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"There's no turning back once we do this." He said as he lifted her shirt up and over her head.

"I know." She nodded.

--

The doorbell rang which caused her heart to beat faster and her palms to become sweatier. He glanced at her before opening the door to reveal a young woman who looked scarily identical to Brooke. "Megan," Julian said as he ushered her inside. "I'd like you to meet Brooke. My girlfriend."

The look on Megan's face when she saw Brooke for the first time showed that Julian hadn't told her she was going to be there. "Brooke, this is Megan."

"Hi," Brooke said as she stood up and extended her hand to the brunette.

"What happened to you?" Megan asked rudely as she stared at the fading bruises and scratches that were exposed.

Brooke put her hand back down by her side. "Nothing."

Megan gave her a dirty look before sitting down on the couch. She patted the spot next to her for Julian to sit but he went and sat beside Brooke who smirked. "So," Brooke said after sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes. "How far along are you?"

Megan shrugged. "I don't know."

Julian stood up. "How do you not know?"

"I took the home pregnancy test yesterday morning and found out then."

"You do know there's such thing as a false positive, right?" He asked her. "You very well could not be pregnant right now."

"But I could very well be pregnant right now too." She sneered. "With your baby."

Julian sighed. "Well lucky for you I know someone who can tell us if you're indeed pregnant." He said as he reached for his cell phone on the counter.

Megan and Brooke sat and stared at each other from across the living room as Julian talked on the phone. Brooke already hated her and the feeling was mutual for Megan. He finally hung up the phone and rejoined them in the living room. "Get your stuff, Meg." He said as he nodded toward her bag.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she followed him and Brooke to the door.

"The doctor's." He replied as he held the door open for her.

Brooke was fully aware that Megan was behind them and staring so she turned her head to look back only to see her give her a dirty look. Brooke, in turn, reached for Julian's hand before leaning in to kiss his cheek. It sucked to be Megan, she thought.

--

Their two heaving bodies lie next to each other in a tangled mess of sheets. She had collapsed moments before beside him with a smile on her face that matched his. "So that's what we've been missing?" She panted as she placed her hand on his chest.

"It was incredible, right? I mean it's not just me who thinks that was the most awesome thing ever—"

"Jack," She laughed cutting him off. "It was amazing."

He grinned. "Wanna do it again?"

She nodded before rolling her body on top of his. "Aren't you glad we skipped?"

He moved his hands down to her hips and nodded. "We should do it more often."

The door slammed. Sam and Jack stared at each other with horrified looks. She leaned closer to the window and peered through the shade to see Victoria's car in the driveway. "Shit!" She exclaimed as she rolled off of him. "She's home early!"

"Seriously?" Jack panicked. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Sam!" Victoria called. "I'm home!"

It was too late. Jack wasn't even able to get out of the bed before Victoria walked into the bedroom. "What the hell is going on?" She yelled when she saw Sam and Jack naked and in bed together.

"We—" Sam started.

"Brooke's not even gone twenty-four hours and you're already breaking the rules by having a boy in your bedroom!" She raged. "A naked boy!"

"Everyone's done it already—" Sam tried.

"You're not everyone, Samantha." Victoria sneered. "Both of you get dressed and meet me in the living room. We obviously need to talk."

--

"Julian!" She called as she walked toward them with a toothy grin. "I've missed you!"

Brooke and Megan watched as the blonde wrapped her arms around him in a hug that seemed way too friendly. Julian noticed Brooke's apprehension. "Guys, I'd like you to meet my sister, Jess."

Brooke's fear vanished when she realized the stunningly beautiful blonde wasn't another threat to her relationship. "Hi," She said. "I'm Brooke Davis."

Jessica nodded. "I know, I've heard a lot about you." She said as she pulled Brooke into a hug.

"Good things I hope." Brooke laughed uneasily.

Jessica nodded. "Hey Meg." She smiled in her direction.

Meg nodded toward her. "Hey."

"Well why don't I bring you all to a room?" Jess suggested as she led them down the hall.

"I didn't know you had a sister." Brooke whispered as they walked toward the room.

"It never came up." He replied.

"She's gorgeous."

"She's also the best fertility doctor in the country." He winked.

Brooke stared at him as a smile appeared on her face. "No way."

"Yes way." He grinned. "I told you I was going to take care of you."

Megan stopped short in the doorway of the exam room. "I don't want her in here with us." She said as she looked over at Brooke.

"If she doesn't go in then I don't go in." Julian said as he reached for Brooke's hand who smiled contently.

Megan grunted angrily and stepped aside allowing them to follow her. Jess found the entire situation to be comical and couldn't help but smile at her brother's behavior.

Inside the room, Jess had Megan lie down in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. "I'm going to do an internal exam first." She said. Brooke and Julian offered to step out of the room for that portion of the appointment.

"You two can come back in." Jess called and moments later they strolled back in.

"I was right." Megan smiled when she saw Julian reenter. "I'm pregnant."

Brooke's face fell. Earlier that morning when Megan had said she had only taken the test the day before, she felt hopeful. Julian was right; there was such a thing as a false positive so maybe that's what Megan had had. But it wasn't.

"She seems to be about six weeks along but we won't know for sure until I do an ultrasound." Jess said as she squeezed a little bit of jelly on Megan's flat stomach. The sound of the baby's heartbeat swarmed the room within seconds and Julian couldn't help the tears that had formed in his eyes. He moved closer to the screen to see the little blur of pixels that was his child; he was already in love. Brooke let go of his hand before rushing out of the room only to have him follow her a few moments later.

She sank down against the wall and buried her head in her hands. "Hey," He said softly.

"Why?" She cried. "Why did this have to happen?"

He shook his head as he slid down beside her.

"I am so jealous of her, Julian. We're never going to have that moment where we hear our child's heartbeat for the first time. We're not going to have that moment of sheer joy when we find out I'm pregnant. We're not going—"

"I already told you I don't need any of that." He stopped her.

"But you want it." She protested. "I saw how happy you were when that baby's heartbeat filled the room. I want to give you that but I can't."

"You don't know that yet. My sister is going to help us, I promise." He said as he lifted her chin up.

She smiled despite her tears. "How did I get so lucky with you?"

--

"What were you two thinking?" Victoria asked as she stood on one side of the island while they sat on the other.

They both shrugged.

She shook her head. "What am I supposed to tell Brooke?"

"Please don't tell her." Sam begged. "She'll be devastated."

Victoria raised her eyebrows.

Sam rolled her eyes and figured she better elaborate. "When Jack and I started dating she sat me down and had the talk with me. She told me about how she slept around with a different guy every weekend and looking back on her high school years she's disgusted with herself. She said she didn't want that for me and she made me promise not to become her."

"But you're not sleeping with a different guy every weekend." Victoria said as she shook her head. "Are you?"

"No," She assured her. "But I'm scared I'm going to become her. I liked sex _so_ much today that it scares me—"

"Sweetie," Victoria sighed, her demeanor softened. "It's okay to like it."

Jack squirmed in his chair.

"That's totally normal, it's how you handle yourself that matters. You don't want to be the girl that sleeps around; you see how much Brooke regrets it so that's going to keep you from becoming her."

"You really think so?" Sam asked.

"I know so." She smiled. "Now how about I take the two of you out for some ice cream?"

"Are you going to tell Brooke?" Jack asked as they walked toward the door.

"Tell Brooke what?" Victoria asked innocently before winking at the two of them.

--

Review please!!


	7. Bury

Chapter Seven: Bury

She listened through the door as she lay in his bed. She heard her giggle loudly and tell him to stop. She heard him tell her he was serious. Megan seemed to hang out with them more and more lately and the more she hung out with her and Julian the more Megan would continue to point out the fact that she was pregnant with Julian's child. She had been there for over an hour and Brooke had had enough.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked from the doorway surprising both of them.

"Yeah," Julian said as he got up and walked toward her.

She shook her head. "Not you, you." She said nodding toward Megan.

He looked at her apprehensively. "I'll just be out on the deck if you need anything."

Both Megan and Brooke watched as he exited through the glass door and sat down on the deck to look out over the city. Megan sat down first followed by Brooke. "We're going to have to deal with each other for the rest of our lives once this baby is born." Brooke started. "I hate it as much as you do but we're going to have to learn how to deal with it and I think it would make everything a lot easier if we could at least tolerate each other. I'm sorry for acting like a petty teenage girl but I feel threatened by you and this baby. So can we please just bury the hatchet?"

Megan crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back. Brooke couldn't help but let her eyes wander to the small bump that had begun to form.

"I mean aren't you tired of acting like a bitch? It's been three weeks since Julian and I arrived and you haven't let up on the bitchiness." Brooke sighed.

She shrugged. "I guess it's the hormones."

"Megan, I'm trying here."

"I don't want to be friendly toward you. I don't like you at all and the only reason that boy is staying with you is because he feels sorry for you." She said viciously. "If you weren't such a pathetic loser he'd be with me and as soon as this baby is born and he sees it, he's going to leave you, Brooke. He wants a family and that's the one thing you can't give him."

"Get out." She said enraged as she rose to her feet.

"Why?" Megan challenged.

"Get out of this fucking house!" She screamed.

Julian ran back into the apartment. "What's going on?" He asked concerned.

"You told her."

"Told her what?" He asked.

Brooke stared at him in bewilderment. "Unbelievable." She said as she shook her head. "If you're not going to leave, I will." She said to Megan as she grabbed her coat.

"Brooke!" Julian called. "Wait a minute—"

She stopped and turned to face him. "I need to be alone for a little while. Just let me go." She pleaded.

"You're going to come back, right?" He asked warily.

"I always do." She replied sadly before shutting the door.

"What the hell was that all about?" He yelled once she had left.

"I know she can't have kids—"

"How?"

"I heard you two in the hallway when she ran out. Next time you have a conversation like that you might want to consider shutting the door."

Julian sank down on his couch. "Why are you being such a bitch?" He asked as he ran his hand through his hair. "You never acted like this when I was with you."

Megan didn't answer. Instead, she sank down on the couch beside him and reached for his hand. The second her hand came into contact with his, he stood up and began to pace the room. "Do you not see what you're doing to us? You are single handedly tearing Brooke and me apart and you're enjoying every goddamn second of it. I didn't come back here for you, Meg; I came back to LA for my child. There is no way in hell that I will ever be with you again, especially not after the way you've been treating Brooke."

"How can you say that?" She asked as she leaned forward. "You only dated the girl for a month! How can you be in love with her after only knowing her for that short amount of time yet you spent six incredible months with me and you're telling me you feel absolutely nothing?" She cried.

He nodded.

"Then how come you haven't stuck up for her until today?" She asked. "How come you let me get away with being a bitch toward the woman you supposedly love?"

--

She had never been to LA so she had no idea where she was supposed to go. She didn't even know her way around the city since Julian had yet to take her around to see it. He had been busy with work and Megan. He was making sure she ate three healthy meals, took her vitamins and didn't overwork herself. She knew that he only wanted what was best for the baby but she couldn't help but feel jealous but she knew how to hide her feelings well. She'd been doing so ever since she was a little girl so it really wasn't that hard to fool Julian and Megan. What hurt the most though was that he didn't notice the fake smile, the fake laugh, or the fake front she put up to protect herself from getting hurt again. She missed Sam and her mom more than she was willing to admit and without them she felt lost and alone. As she sat on the front step outside of Julian's building she tried calling both of them but neither had answered. She sighed as she stuffed her cell phone back in her pocket.

"Hey," She said when she noticed the brunette sitting outside her brother's building. "What's up?"

Brooke looked up. "Hi Jess." She smiled.

"How come your not inside with Julian?" She asked as she sat down beside her and noticed the tears for the first time. "What's wrong?"

Brooke tried to smile as she wiped her eyes. "Megan's over."

Jess sighed. "I'll kill him."

She laughed. "It's okay. He's going to be a great dad to that baby."

Jess stood up before extending her hand to Brooke. "C'mon." She said.

"Where are we going?" Brooke asked as she took her hand to help herself up.

"My place."

--

"That was the fifth call from Brooke today." Sam sighed as she walked into the kitchen.

Victoria turned at her voice. "Sixth for me."

"Why are we ignoring her calls again?"

Victoria sighed. "Because if we answer she'll pick up on our tones and I want to talk to her about this in person."

Sam nodded as she sat down at the counter across from Victoria. "Why do you think she didn't tell us?"

She shrugged as she swirled the last bit of coffee around in her mug. "I don't know, Samantha."

Sam sighed thinking back on the previous night when they had gotten a phone call from Haley. She had thought both Sam and Victoria knew about Brooke's situation but it had been news to them. Haley felt terrible for divulging such a secret while Victoria and Sam didn't know what to think. "She wanted kids so badly." She said softly.

Victoria shook her head. "Let's not talk about this, okay? Why don't you go and call up Jack to see if he would like to join us for dinner tonight."

"What are we having?" Sam asked as she began to text Jack.

"I figured we'd go out." She said as she got up to put her cup in the sink. "I told you to call him not text."

"What does it matter?" Sam laughed.

Victoria shook her head. "I'll never understand your generation and texting. It's so impersonal."

Sam laughed at her comment. "I'll never understand your generation and..and…I don't know all your old fashioned ways!" She said as she threw her hands up

Victoria laughed. "When's Jack going to get here?"

"He said in about fifteen minutes." She said as she glanced down at her phone.

--

"This is really nice." Brooke said as she looked around Jess's apartment. It was about the size of Julian's but it was definitely decorated better.

"Thanks." She smiled. "Want a cup of tea or something?" She asked as she began rummaging through the cabinet for two mugs.

Brooke nodded as she took off her jacket. "That'd be great."

Jess put a teakettle on the stove before heading over toward Brooke. "Make yourself comfortable." She said as she plopped down on the couch.

She sat down beside Jess and curled her feet up underneath her. She didn't know what it was about the Baker children that made them decide not to use heat in their houses. True, it was LA and the sun heat things up but it was freezing in Jess's house just like it was in Julian's every day.

Jess fidgeted as she tried to get comfortable. "Can I ask you something kind of personal?"

Brooke nodded.

"How can you be in love with someone after only knowing them for two months?" She asked.

Brooke smiled. "If it were anyone else I probably wouldn't have fallen in love, but he's Julian. He makes me get butterflies all the time, he says the right thing at exactly the right time, he knows how badly I got hurt the last time I gave my heart to someone and he understands how it feels when the person you're in love with loves someone else. I know it's crazy but I'm so in love with him, Jess."

Jess grinned at her answer. "Can I ask you another personal question?"

Brooke nodded again.

"Why'd you tell him something so personal?"

She sighed and began to play with the hem of her pants. "I can see myself marrying him."

Jess stared at her questionably not really understanding her answer.

"I know it sounds ridiculous considering we've only dated for a month, well almost two now, but I do. I wanted him to know that I can't give him what he wants so if he wanted to he could find someone who could before we got too involved. I'm supposed to get pregnant and have babies but I can't and I'm learning how to deal with that but he shouldn't have to settle just because I have to."

"He's not going to leave you just because you can't get pregnant." Jess said as she patted Brooke's knee. "And besides, you haven't come in yet to see what I can do for you."

Brooke smiled. "He's just been so busy with Meg—"

Jess held up her hand. "That's no excuse. You're his girlfriend, you're the one who matters more."

"You really don't like Megan, do you?" Brooke smirked.

"Not one single bit."

Brooke grinned. "Good. I tried to take the high road today and tried to get her to bury the hatchet but she just won't comply." She said as she shook her head.

"Why don't I go and talk some sense into the two of them, then?" Jess said as she stood up.

"What about our tea?" Brooke asked as she glanced into the kitchen where the teakettle was whistling.

"Oh!" Jess laughed. "We'll take that with us."

--

"Do you want to know the sex?" Megan asked as she helped Julian prepare dinner.

"I want to be surprised." He replied as he sliced a tomato.

"You two. Couch. Now." Jess instructed as she barged through the front door with Brooke trailing behind her.

"Just walk right in like you own the place." Julian muttered under his breath as he followed Megan into the living room.

"I do own the place, Julian." She said as she shrugged off her coat. "Remember? I'm the one who bought you this place when you moved out of mom and dad's because you didn't have enough money to even afford a hamburger."

Julian hung his head; he thought he had said it quiet enough so she wouldn't have heard.

"Neither of you are allowed to talk until I'm done talking. That means no interruptions, understand?" Jess said forcefully. Megan and Julian both nodded. "Good. Julian, I'm going to start with you. I know that you have this hero-complex in you that makes you feel compelled to take care of and save everyone but you can't. Yes, Meg is carrying your child but Brooke is your girlfriend and she should come first. Megan's a big girl and can take care of herself so you don't need to constantly look after her. Megan," She sighed. "You need to stop being a heartless bitch. Brooke tried to make amends with you, she apologized for acting like a petty teenage girl but you refused to cooperate. You're acting like a five year old and that needs to stop."

Brooke tried to hide the smile that crept across her face, Jess was kicking ass and she was a fan.

"The three of you are going to have to learn how to put up with each other once this baby's born and it'll be better for all of us if you learn how to do it now. I know none of you are fans of how this all has turned out but you're all adults and this is what happens in the real world. Things never go the way you plan instead, you just have to know how to adapt and accept and eventually things will be okay again." Jess sighed.

--

"Brooke can't have kids." Sam blurted to Jack at the restaurant.

"Samantha!" Victoria scolded. "I told you we weren't going to talk about it anymore."

"Not talking about isn't going to make it go away." Sam shrugged.

She nodded. "I know." She said as she twirled her fork around in the spaghetti.

"Is she okay?" Jack asked.

"We don't know. She said not to answer the phone when Brooke calls." Sam said as she motioned toward Victoria.

"When's she coming home?" He asked.

"Not for two more weeks. Her and Julian will be home for Christmas and New Years and then they're heading back to LA for another month." Sam said sadly.

"And the baby's not due until May?" Jack clarified.

Victoria nodded. "As of right now, they plan to stay in LA during the month of February, return back here for March and then go back to LA until the baby's born."

Sam sighed as she pushed her plate away. "That's how it's going to be until that kid turns 18. Julian's always going to want to see it so they'll keep flying out there because we all know the slut won't step foot in Tree Hill."

"Samantha," Victoria warned. "Don't use that kind of language."

"Do we know for sure if the baby really is Julian's?" Jack asked before taking a sip of his soda.

--

"Today's the day." Julian smiled when he saw Brooke in the kitchen making breakfast. They were scheduled for an appointment with Jess later that morning to see what she could do for them. Part of Brooke was excited but at the same time she was scared to death. What if she had something that couldn't be fixed? What if she did? What if she actually had the opportunity to get pregnant and have a baby with the man she loved?

Two hours later, Brooke and Julian sat in one of Jess's exam rooms waiting for Brooke's test results to come back. She couldn't help but stare at all the posters on the wall of pregnant women, all of whom looked extremely happy. He noticed her staring at them and squeezed her hand. "Hey, look at me." He whispered. She turned her attention to him. "Whatever happens, I'm still going to be here."

"I know." She said shakily as she squeezed his hand back.

Jess knocked on the door before entering with a file in her hand.

"So?" Julian asked as he leaned forward.

"Brooke, you have something called poly cystic ovarian syndrome." Jess started. "It's a common cause of infertility but in most cases it's treatable."

Brooke smiled at the news.

Jess's face fell when she saw Brooke's smile. "You're not most cases, though."

Julian squeezed his eyes shut when he felt her squeeze his hand. "There's got to be something you can do, though, Jess." He said. "You're the best fertility doctor in the country!"

She nodded. "I know, but Brooke's case is unlike any other I've ever seen. Your eggs don't properly mature due to the PCOS, which makes it impossible for them to be fertilized. Most cases are fixed with hormone regulators but I can't fix this that way. There's something called a malfunction of the hypothalamus which is the part of your brain that tells you to ovulate which helps you get pregnant by initiating egg maturation but unfortunately your hypothalamus fails to trigger and control this process which results in immature eggs. I am so sorry Brooke." Jess said sadly.

Brooke shook her head. "It's okay."

"It's not though." Julian said uneasily.

"It's easier to say it is." She said softly. "Would you mind stepping outside so I can get dressed?"

Julian and Jess left the room allowing her some privacy. "She shouldn't be okay with this." Julian said as he shook his head.

Jess reached out and placed her hand on his arm. "She's not. She knows how to put up a front and act like everything's fine when on the inside she's falling apart. You have to be the one who tears down the walls she's spent her entire life building up before this ends up destroying her because we both know it will."

He stared at his sister in disbelief. "How do you know so much about her already?"

She shrugged. "We're one in the same, I guess."

Not until that moment did he realize how right she was. Jess fiercely protected the ones she loved just like Brooke. Brooke was independent and feisty just like Jess. Both girls had learned from an early age how to perfect the perfect fake smile. They had both gotten their hearts broken by the boys they loved in high school and had never fully recovered. Jess and Brooke both were now cautious when it came to love and both were slow to open their hearts up but once they did they had no intention of letting go. They really were one in the same and that, Julian figured, was why he loved both of them more than anything in the world.

--

Review please!!


	8. Fly

**So, I'm not too pleased with how this chapter turned out. I feel like I kind of rushed it and it turned out to be more of a filler chapter but let me know what you think. I probably won't update until after Christmas so I hope you all have a great holiday! Thanks for reading!! **

Chapter Eight: Fly

It was Christmas Eve and the airport was packed with people traveling home to spend the holidays with their family. As Brooke and Julian waited at the baggage claim in Tree Hill, Victoria and Sam finished the last of their holiday decorating. Brooke hated that her life had become what it had. She didn't like feeling anger toward Megan but she was making it impossible to like her. As much as she knew Julian had to be there for Megan at the same time Brooke felt like he was slipping away from her. She couldn't help but hate the baby Megan was carrying because it was the reason for her unhappiness. She knew it wasn't right to hate an innocent child but she needed someone to blame for their situation and it was the only logical choice.

"Are you sure you're okay with me tagging along?" Jess asked as they pulled into the driveway.

Brooke turned around to face her. "For the tenth time, yes." She laughed.

"I just feel bad. I mean mom and dad went on a cruise and—"

"Jess," Julian sighed. "Stop worrying about it. We wouldn't have asked you to join us if we didn't want you here."

She smiled. "Think they'll like me?" She asked referring to Sam and Victoria.

Brooke nodded. "C'mon, let's go meet them."

"Brooke!" Sam squealed when they opened the door. "I missed you!"

She dropped her bag and enveloped Sam in a tight hug. "I missed you too." She smiled. She let go of her and hugged her mom who was waiting with open arms. "Guys, this is Jess, Julian's sister. She's going to spend the holidays with us if you don't mind."

Victoria smiled. "The more the merrier."

Sam rolled her eyes and snorted. "Do you have to sound so cliché?"

Julian looked around the house. "Where's Jack?" He grinned.

"Ha-ha," Sam deadpanned. "You think you're so funny."

He shrugged. "Well, he's usually attached to your hip."

"He's coming over tomorrow morning, his foster parents don't really do the whole Christmas thing." She sighed as she adjusted the garland on the mantel.

"Who doesn't do Christmas?" Brooke asked as she sat down on the couch.

Sam sat down beside her. "Well they celebrate it they just don't really get him anything."

Jess shook her head. "How could someone be so heartless?"

"You don't know Jack's foster parents." Sam shook her head.

"So, what do we feel like doing tonight?" Victoria asked changing the subject.

"Last year Brooke and I went around Tree Hill and looked at all the Christmas lights and then got hot chocolate and drank it at the River Court." Sam suggested. "We could do that if you wanted?"

"What about church?" Brooke asked softly. Victoria stared at her slightly shocked. She had never taken her daughter to church, never really even mentioned God so why her daughter was suggesting they go on Christmas Eve was beyond puzzling because she knew Brooke really wasn't religious. But then she remembered what Haley had told them two weeks ago and it was then that it all made sense. She was hoping for a miracle from God.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." Victoria smiled. She glanced down at her watch. "It's almost nine now so why don't you three hop in the shower, get ready and we'll go to the midnight service?"

"You guys can take the first shower." Brooke said as she got up. "Towels are in the cabinet underneath the sink. If you need any help turning the shower on ask Sam."

Jess sprang up from the couch and darted into the bathroom down the hall before Julian had time to react. He laughed to himself before turning his attention to Sam while Victoria watched her daughter disappear down the hall toward her room. She knew she had to talk to her about it at some point.

"Hey," She said softly as she knocked on her door. "Can I come in?"

Brooke opened the door to let her mom in before sitting back down on her bed. Victoria sat beside her. "You look all healed up." She smiled.

Brooke nodded. "I just have a couple bruises left on my stomach." She said as she played with a stray string on her bedspread.

"I know." Victoria said quietly as she placed her hand on top of Brooke's.

She looked up at her mom with tears in her eyes. She bit her lip in an effort to keep them from falling but it was no use. "I wanted a family so bad." She cried.

"Shhh," Victoria consoled as she pulled her daughter into her embrace. "It's going to be all right."

Brooke pulled away. "It's not though, mom. How can it be all right if I can't give Julian the one thing he wants?"

"The one thing he wants is you. He's still with you, right?"

Brooke nodded.

Victoria smiled. "Then you have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. He loves you."

"I love him too."

"And we'll go to every specialist out there if we have to. We'll—"

Brooke shook her head cutting her mother off. "Jess, Julian's sister, is the best fertility doctor in the country. She said there's nothing anyone can do, mom."

"Then we'll adopt." She opted as she brushed a piece of hair behind Brooke's ear.

"It's not the same."

--

Two and half hours later, they were all ready and headed to the church. There, they were surprised to see Peyton, Mike and Connor, Haley, Nathan and Jamie and Lucas. None of them were religious either but there they were, sitting near the front of the church. Haley's face lit up when she saw Brooke so she waved them over to their pew.

"Hi!" She squealed as she hugged Brooke. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Hales." She smiled. "Hi buddy, you excited for Santa to come?" She asked Jamie.

He nodded. "I need to get home so I can sprinkle reindeer food on the lawn!"

Brooke laughed. "Church won't be too long, bud." She was surprised he was still wide awake at midnight.

"Merry Christmas, Brooke." Nathan said as he hugged Brooke.

"Merry Christmas, Nate." She smiled.

The organ began to play and the choir started to sing. Brooke reached for Julian's hand and squeezed it before smiling at him. Sam sat on the end next to Victoria and couldn't help but smile at Brooke's contentment. It was going to be a good Christmas, she thought.

Following the service, everyone went to get hot chocolate and drank it while they walked around downtown Tree Hill. Jamie was worried he wouldn't get home in time to sprinkle the reindeer food on the lawn but Nathan and Haley kept reassuring him he'd be okay. Brooke dropped Julian's hand before walking over to her godson and reaching for his. "C'mon," She said. "I have a secret to tell you."

Haley and Nathan smiled as they watched Brooke interact with Jamie ahead of them. Julian couldn't help but notice how great she was with little kids which only made him feel worse about the fact she'd never have her own child.

"Daddy! Look!" Connor squealed as he ran toward Mike with a water bottle in his hand.

Lucas whipped his head toward his son with a grin on his face only to have it disappear when he saw Connor hand the bottle to Mike. "What the hell, Peyton?" He asked angrily.

"Luke—" Peyton tried.

"I'm his father, not this asshole who ruined our marriage!" He raged.

"It's not like I told Connor to call Mike that, he just did." Peyton said.

"You could have put a stop to it." Lucas shook his head. "Con, come here." He said as he crouched down.

Connor hid behind Mike's leg. "Go on, buddy. Go see your daddy." He said as he tried to push Connor toward Lucas.

"You're my daddy." Connor said as he looked up at Mike.

Mike shook his head. "He's your dad and you've hurt him by thinking I am."

Connor slowly walked toward Lucas who had his arms open for his son. "I've missed you, buddy." Lucas whispered in his hair when Connor was finally in his arms again.

"I'm sorry." Connor said meekly.

"Momma!" Jamie exclaimed as he ran toward everyone. "Look what Aunt Brooke taught me!" He held out his foot and showed them all his messily tied shoelace. "She taught me how to do this, momma!"

Haley smiled. "That's great, Jamie!"

"I know! Aunt Brooke is the best!" He exclaimed before running back to join her up ahead.

"She's good with him." Julian observed as he walked beside Nathan and Haley.

Nathan nodded. "She's great."

"How's she doing?" Haley asked.

Julian shrugged. "She says she's fine but I know on the inside she's completely broken. With Meg pregnant—"

"Who's Megan?" Haley asked as she suddenly stopped and reached for Julian's arm.

He hung his head. "A girl I hooked up with back in LA after I broke things off with Brooke."

"So it's your baby?" She asked.

Julian nodded.

Haley had an a-ha of moments. "So that's why she had to go out to LA with you all of a sudden."

Julian smiled. "Why did you think she up and left?"

She shrugged. "It is Brooke we're talking about, she's known for fleeting every now and then."

--

"I'm Jess." She said as she had been walking beside Lucas in silence for quiet some time and she had grown uncomfortable.

"Lucas," He mumbled back as he continued to stare at the cobblestone beneath his feet.

"You know, it's more polite if you look at the person you're talking to." She said as she dug her hands deeper into her pockets and continued to stare at him.

He glanced up at her and for the first time that evening he noticed how attractive she was. "Sorry, I just have a lot going on."

She shrugged. "We all do."

Lucas smiled at her. "So, tell me about yourself, Jess."

"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself first?" She challenged.

--

The next morning, Sam woke up first. Victoria had slept over since she thought it was pointless to return to her condo for the night only to end up back at Brooke's bright and early the next morning. "Wake up!" Sam called from Brooke's doorway. "It's Christmas!"

"Five more minutes!" Julian begged as he threw the covers over his and Brooke's heads.

"No!" Sam giggled. "Jack's going to be here soon and we have to open presents!"

Brooke groaned. "You're worse than Jamie."

Sam spit her tongue out before exiting the room to wake Victoria up only to find Jack waiting in the living room. "What are you doing here so early?" She asked as she walked up to him and kissed him.

"Whoa!" Julian exclaimed as he covered his eyes. "It's way too early for PDA!"

Sam blushed as she pulled away from Jack. "You and Brooke kissed good morning." She protested.

"Yes," Julian nodded. "But did you see us do it?"

Sam shook her head.

"Exactly, so it wasn't PDA. You two kissing in the living room however, is."

Sam laughed. "We can go into my bedroom if you'd rather."

Julian's head shot up. "No. You two are not allowed in the bedroom by yourselves, you know Brooke's rule."

Jack smirked as Sam led him up the staircase to wake Victoria. "We know." She sighed. At the top of the stairs, they ducked into one of the spare rooms where Julian couldn't hear them. "Merry Christmas." Sam said in between kisses.

"I've missed you," Jack said as his hands roamed her body.

She swatted him away. "We can't do this now." She giggled.

"When will we be alone, then?"

"Tomorrow night Brooke and Julian are going out to dinner and Victoria's going back to her condo. It'll just be me and you in the house." She smiled.

Jack grinned. "Perfect."

A few minutes later, Victoria followed Sam and Jack down the staircase into the living room where Julian, Brooke and Jess were sitting with mugs of hot chocolate. "Took you long enough." Brooke huffed. "I want to open presents!"

Sam threw a pillow at her as she sat down. "You're worse than Jamie." She laughed.

"Hey!" Brooke exclaimed.

Sam shrugged. "It's the truth."

The five of them spent the morning opening presents and laughing while sipping hot chocolate. Sam had opened all her presents in less than fifteen minutes while Brooke took her time with each one. Everyone was planning on meeting at Nathan and Haley's for Christmas dinner later that afternoon so after all the presents were opened, Victoria, Julian, Jess, Jack, Sam and Brooke all cuddled in the living room and settled down to watch The Grinch.

With Brooke in his arms, Julian couldn't have been happier. She absent-mindedly rubbed her hand up and down his arms, which made his body break out into goose bumps. He wasn't sure if she even realized she was doing it since she did it so often. She suddenly lifted her head off his chest and glanced around the room to see that everyone besides the two of them were asleep. "C'mon." She whispered as she got up and pulled him with her.

"Where are we going?" He whispered as he allowed her to lead him away from the living room and into her bedroom.

"I love you." She said as she shut the door behind them.

"I love you too." He replied as he watched her unbutton her dress to reveal a red lace bra and matching underwear. He smiled as he walked toward her and began to cover her body in kisses. He led her towards the bed and gently laid her down before towering on top of her. She began to unbutton his shirt as he undid his belt buckle. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked.

She nodded. "We just have to be quiet."

--

It was the second day of the New Year and that meant it was time for Brooke and Julian to fly back across the country to be with Megan and Julian's unborn child. Victoria had gone to the grocery store to pick up some more food for the coming week while Sam moped around the house as she watched Jess, Julian and Brooke pack.

"Do you really have to go back?" Sam whined as she watched Brooke pack her suitcase.

"It's only for a month. We'll be back in February." Brooke assured her.

"I hate this."

Brooke sat down beside Sam on the bed. "I do too, sweetheart." She said as she pulled Sam close.

She had been fighting the urge to ask all week long but she couldn't put it off any longer. "Did you mean what you said on Christmas Eve?"

Brooke cocked her head to the side. "Mean what?"

"That adoption wasn't the same as having your own family." Sam said quietly.

"You heard that?" Brooke asked as she dropped the pair of jeans she was folding.

Sam nodded. "I didn't mean to hear your conversation with Victoria but the walls in this house are paper thin—"

"Sam, I am so sorry you heard that." She said as she reached for Sam's hands. "I didn't mean it like that."

"But you said it."

"I was just angry and upset… I still am but eventually it'll pass. I'm sorry."

Sam pulled away from her. "You're not going to withdraw the adoption papers you submitted last month are you?"

Brooke violently shook her head. "No, I would never do that to you. I want you to be my daughter."

Sam smiled. "Good, because I want you to be my mom."

Julian knocked on the door. "It's time to leave." He said as he walked into the room.

"Why can't she come out here?" Sam whined. 'It'd make everything so much easier."

Julian draped his arm around Sam's shoulder as they walked out of Brooke's room. "We're only going to be gone for a month."

Sam sighed. "That's what Brooke said."

--

"So, did you enjoy Tree Hill?" Brooke asked Jess as they drove home from the airport.

Jess nodded. "How do you feel about Lucas?"

Brooke glanced at Julian before turning to face Jess in the backseat who was smiling. "Why do you ask?"

Jess shrugged. "We just kind of clicked on Christmas Eve. I haven't felt butterflies for a long time but I got them with him." She smiled.

Brooke nodded at her words. "Just be careful with your heart."

--

They had been back in LA for two weeks and things were going pretty well. Megan was still rude towards Brooke but Brooke was able to take the high road and let it just roll off her back. Julian was enthralled with a new script while Megan continued to grow bigger. Brooke couldn't wait to go back to Tree Hill in just two more short weeks, she missed her mom and Sam and she was getting excited because Haley was due to give birth in March and she didn't want to miss it.

"Babe," Julian said as he walked into the kitchen with the phone pressed against his ear. Brooke looked up from the cookbook she was studying. "Haley's in the hospital, Nate says it's time."

"She's not due until March." Brooke said as she shook her head.

He shook his head. "The baby is coming now." He said as he handed her her coat and a small duffel bag. "I threw a couple days clothes in there, your toothbrush and your phone."

Brooke stared at him in confusion. "You need to go." He said. "I'll fly out tomorrow morning if you want."

"You don't have to do that, you've missed a lot of work already." Brooke said as she shook her head.

He laughed as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "My dad doesn't care, Brooke. How many times do I have to tell you that? I can do my job from wherever. I'll fly out to Tree Hill tomorrow, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Okay."

He pulled her close. "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered back.

"Call me when you land." He called as she walked toward the door.

"I will." She nodded. "You call too when you land tomorrow. I'll come pick you up at the airport."

"I will." He assured her as he watched her shut the door to his apartment.

--

Review please!


	9. Burn

Chapter Nine: Burn

"Hey babe, it's me. I'm just calling you to let you know I landed safely and I'm headed to the hospital now. I know it's late but I just wanted you to know I'm okay and I can't wait to see you when you get here in a few hours. I love you. Bye." She smiled to herself in the back of the cab she was riding in as she shut her phone. Nathan had called while she was on the plane and left a message telling her what room number and floor he and Haley were on and said she should get there as soon as she could since Haley was moving faster than expected.

Upon arriving at the hospital, she thanked the cab driver, paid him way more than she needed to, grabbed her bag and hurried to the front entrance. The elevator ride seemed to take forever but when it finally dinged alerting her she had arrived at the seventeenth floor, she smiled before stepping into the hallway. "Nate!" She called when she saw him pacing in the hallway.

"Hey!" He smiled as he ran over to hug her. "You got here pretty fast."

She grinned. "Well I didn't really have time to react. One minute I'm making dinner for me and Julian and the next thing I know he's pushing me out the door telling me its time. How's she doing?" She asked as he led her toward Haley's room.

Nathan shrugged. "She's doing all right." He replied as he pushed open the door.

"Brooke!" Haley exclaimed when she saw her. "You made it!"

She dropped her bag on one of the chairs before walking over to Haley and hugging her. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world." She smiled. "You weren't supposed to be early though."

Haley opened her mouth to answer but instead she reached for Brooke's hand and squeezed it as a wave of pain ricocheted through her body. Once it ended she smiled at Brooke. "Thanks."

Brooke squeezed her hand back. "No problem."

Haley sighed as she shifted her position in the bed. "It wasn't up to me, she wants out." She said as she placed one hand on her belly. "Besides, its only two weeks early and you're here now as apposed to March. Where's the boyfriend?"

Brooke sank down into one of the chairs beside Nathan. "He's flying out first thing in the morning. We both couldn't just up and leave so he stayed behind so he could get Megan situated and the apartment in some sort of order before leaving. He's going to call when he lands so I can meet him at the airport."

Nathan opened his mouth to ask Haley something but stopped when he saw their doctor walk in. "I'm just going to see how things are going, okay?" She asked Haley as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Well it seems like she's not coming as fast as we originally thought. You're still at only four centimeters." The doctor said as she tossed her gloves into the trashcan before walking back toward the door. "I'll be back in about an hour to check again."

Haley groaned. "Well you don't have to stay here if you don't want to. You heard the doctor, things are getting slow again. Go home, take a shower and let Sam and your mom know you're back home."

Brooke looked over at Nathan who nodded. "Are you guys sure?"

"Haley was in labor with Jamie for almost thirty-six hours," Nathan said as he shook his head and reached for his wife's hand. "She's only been in labor with this one for about five hours, we have plenty of time before her birth."

Brooke nodded as she stood up. "Okay, but the second anything changes or happens you call me, okay?" Both Haley and Nathan nodded. "Do you want me to bring Jamie back with me? Let Lucas know, anything like that?"

Nathan shook his head. "Jamie's with Skills so I'm sure he's having a blast and would much rather be there than here waiting for his baby sister to be born. Would you mind picking Luke up and bringing him with you when you come back? I couldn't get a hold of him to let him know it was time."

"Of course. We should be back in a few hours but remember, if anything happens call me."

"We will." Haley assured her as she watched her walk out of the room.

--

As she walked out of the hospital, Brooke glanced down at her cell phone and noticed she had a new voicemail. She smiled to herself when she heard his voice. "Hey baby, it's me. Listen, I know I said I'd fly out tomorrow morning but I couldn't wait that long so I jumped on the next plane to North Carolina right after you. I have some bad news for you though, Megan insisted on coming with me. Please don't hate me, Brooke, but I didn't know what else to do. We landed about an hour ago and right now we're sitting in the parking lot waiting for the rental car. I'm going to drop her off at the hotel and then meet you at the hospital and we can talk. I love you and I'll see you soon." Once the voicemail ended, a scowl had replaced the smile. Nathan had given her the keys to his car so she wouldn't have to take a taxi home but instead of turning right out of the parking lot in the direction of her house, she turned left.

She banged incessantly on the door until he finally answered.

"Brooke," He said groggily as he squinted in the bright sunshine. "What are you doing here?"

"Dragging your drunk ass to the hospital in time for your niece's birth." She said as she pushed an extremely hung over Lucas to the side who only had on a pair of boxers. "Luke, it's a mess in here." She said as she glanced around his apartment.

He brought his hand to his forehead and rubbed as he stumbled behind her. She was right, there were empty beer bottles everywhere, piles of dirty clothes all over the place, dozens of to-go boxes strewn across the apartment some still with food inside that was beginning to turn to mold. He took the pair of jeans and shirt she handed him and began to get dressed. "You need to stop doing this to yourself." She said as she grabbed a trash bag from underneath the counter and began to toss everything in it.

"You don't understand." He said as he buttoned his shirt.

She dropped the bag to her side and stared at him. "_I_ don't understand? Lucas, I know better than anyone else how much life sucks. It took me a long time to figure out that no one can make my life better unless I'm willing to change it myself. We all have our shitty moments but the longer you dwell in them the harder it is to get back to normal. Don't do this to yourself, Luke." She begged as she returned to cleaning off the coffee table.

To her surprise, he began to help her as he handed her three Styrofoam containers. "How'd you know I was drunk?" He asked softly.

She reached for an empty beer bottle and tossed it in the bag before turning to look at him. "I know you a lot better than you think I do." She simply shrugged. "I know how you deal when things get hard, I know where you go when you feel like the world is closing in on you, I know that when it feels like nothing is ever going to go in your favor again you try your hardest to avoid everyone and everything so you won't let anyone down. Contrary to popular belief, I know you Lucas."

He was about to respond but he got cut off when he heard her phone ring. "It's Nate." She said as she glanced down at it before answering. She was on the phone for less then ten seconds before hanging up. "C'mon, we have to go." She said as she reached for his hand and dragged him out of the apartment.

--

By the time Brooke and Lucas had reached the seventeenth floor, both their hearts were beating rapidly with anticipation. Nathan hadn't said much on the phone, just that she needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Again, when the elevator doors opened, Brooke saw Nathan pacing in the hallway. "Hey!" She shouted as they ran toward him. "Why aren't you in with Haley?"

Nathan looked over at Lucas and could smell the booze radiating off him. He shook his head in disgust before turning back to Brooke. "It's not time—"

"Then why did you call me telling me—"

Nathan took her hands into his cutting her off. "There's been an accident." He said.

Brooke paled. "Sam."

Nathan shook his head. "Sam's fine. It's Julian."

She stared at him in confusion. "He just called and left a message an hour ago," She said as she shook her head. "He landed and he's going to meet me here soon. He's okay there's no way he was in an accident."

"I was down on the first floor getting a bite to eat in the cafeteria when all of the doctors jumped up from the tables and ran toward the emergency room entrance. I followed them, Brooke. I saw him on the stretcher." He said sadly.

Tears pooled in her eyes. "He's okay though, right?"

Nathan shrugged. "They wouldn't tell me anything since I barely know him. That's why I called you."

She nodded as she stared at the floor. All of a sudden, her head whipped up. "Did you see Megan?" She asked.

"I just saw Julian, Brooke." He answered before turning his attention toward his brother. "Take her down to the front desk to see Julian."

Lucas nodded and reached for Brooke's hand. "C'mon, Brooke." He said softly.

"Tell Haley I'm sorry." She called to Nathan who was walking back toward his wife's room.

He nodded. "She understands."

--

"I'm here for Julian Baker?" Brooke said uneasily once she and Lucas were at the front desk. "He's my boyfriend."

The receptionist glanced over at the computer screen and began typing frantically. She looked up at Brooke through her glasses and smiled weakly. "He's in surgery right now." She replied.

Brooke felt like she was going to collapse. Lucas sensed it and as her knees gave out he caught her before she hit the floor. The receptionist immediately stood and hurried around the desk to help Lucas bring her into the waiting room.

"I'm fine," Brooke protested minutes later once she came to. "I just collapsed."

Lucas shook his head. "You're not fine." He said as he handed her a glass of water.

"Wouldn't you get dizzy and faint if you found out Connor had been in an accident and all of a sudden got whisked into surgery?" She asked.

He nodded his head in agreement.

"See?" She shrugged. "It's no big deal."

Lucas leaned back in his chair. "You say that all the time."

"Me fainting really isn't a big deal compared to my boyfriend in surgery!" She exclaimed. "My problems aren't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, Luke. I'm really no big deal. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find out what happened to Julian that required surgery." She huffed.

He watched as she slowly got up out of the chair, stood for a few seconds to make sure she wasn't going to collapse and walk toward the receptionist desk. He shook his head in disbelief.

"Hi," She smiled. "I was just wondering if you could tell me what happened to Julian Baker this afternoon."

The receptionist smiled back and asked if she was sure she was okay to which Brooke responded she was. She frantically typed on the keyboard again before turning her attention back to a half-smiling Brooke. "It says here that he was involved in a car accident. There were two occupants in the vehicle and the other occupant sustained severe third degree burns covering eighty percent of her body. Your boyfriend suffered a severe head trauma and…" She trailed off when she saw how pale Brooke had become. The receptionist stood up and waved Lucas over who was by her side in seconds. He lifted her into his arms and followed the receptionist into one of the rooms where he lay her down on the bed. "Go find out what happened to them." She said to Lucas as she pulled the hospital blanket up to her chin.

"What happened?" He asked.

"There was a car accident this afternoon. Paramedics said that Julian was driving and there was a female passenger in the car and it had somehow crashed through one of the barriers on Riker's Hill before exploding into flames." She stopped. "A good samaritan was able to stop and he pulled Julian out of the car first and then went back to get the female passenger. Both were alive when they arrived here but I'm not sure they'll survive. Your friend's boyfriend is in surgery right now because a piece of metal from the car pierced through his abdomen when the car tumbled down into the ravine so he lost a substantial amount of blood. I'm so sorry."

Lucas shook his head in disbelief. "Thanks." He mumbled before returning to the room Brooke was currently occupying.

About an hour later the receptionist popped her head into her room. "Julian's out of surgery now if you'd like to see him." She said.

Brooke nodded and sat up before getting out of the bed. She and Lucas walked behind the receptionist but as they approached Julian's room, Brooke reached for Lucas' hand. Waiting outside of Julian's room was one of the doctors who had operated on him. "My name is Dr. Walker." He said introducing himself. "Due to the severe head trauma Mr. Baker experienced in the accident he's been unconscious ever since paramedics arrived at the scene. It may take a few hours for him to wake up or it could take a few weeks but there's also a chance he won't wake up. I know it's a lot to take in right now but I just wanted you to be aware of Mr. Baker's state. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask a nurse to page me, okay?"

Brooke nodded as she fought back tears as she watched Dr. Walker turn and leave. She inhaled deeply before pushing the door open. Lucas let go of her hand as she cautiously walked into the room while he hung back for a moment. "Hey handsome." She said as she reached for Julian's hand. "I'm here."

A few minutes later she turned toward the door and motioned for Lucas to come in and join her. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours and he was growing very uncomfortable. "Want me to call your mom and Sam? I could call Peyton if you'd like? Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked.

Brooke smiled at him. "You'd call Peyton for me?"

He laughed softly. "I'd do anything for you."

She looked over at him with a stunned expression, which made him instantly regret his last comment. "I'm sorry." He muttered as he stood up to leave.

She reached out for his arm and stopped him. "Call my mom for me." She said.

He nodded before digging into his pocket and retrieving his cell phone. "I can do that."

"Brooke?" The nurse said quietly as she entered Julian's room. "Megan is asking for you."

She glanced over at Lucas who nodded as he continued to dial Victoria's number. "I'll stay here with him."

Brooke and the nurse walked down the hallway in silence. "Don't be afraid when you go in there. She's struggling to stay alive, I don't think she has much time." The nurse said sadly when they arrived at Megan's room. "Whenever you're ready just go on in." She said before turning and walking back down the hallway. Brooke took a deep breath before opening the door only to see Megan struggling to breath with several lacerations on her face. She was thankful there was sterile gauze covering the rest of her body that had been burned in the car fire because Brooke was sure she wouldn't be able to handle it. She tried to hide the tears that were escaping her eyes when she neared Megan lying helplessly on the table. Brooke carefully reached for Megan's hand. "Hey," She whispered. "I'm here."

"Hi." Megan croaked; her eyes were closed due to the severe burns she had sustained there. "I never meant to hurt you." She said weakly in a voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry for how I acted."

Brooke wiped the tears from her eyes as she squeezed Megan's hand gently. "I forgive you."

"He really loves you, Brooke."

Brooke nodded. "He loved you, too." She whispered.

"I know that." She stuttered. "But not the way he loves you. You two are going to burn so bright together." Her voice became shallower and Brooke could tell speaking was becoming a struggle. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for hurting his baby; it really was his baby by the way. It was a little girl. Tell him that I made a mistake and I will always love him. Will you tell him, Brooke?"

"I'll tell him." She conceded.

"I wanted to be a good mom and I wanted him to be a good dad but I ruined it. I ruined our baby's life, my life, his life and you're life. I never meant to hurt you, Brooke." Megan continued to struggle with her words. Brooke could tell she was fighting to stay alive but third degree burns covered eighty percent of her body and there was no way she would be able to recover from that no matter how hard she fought back. She knew Megan knew that too. "Take care of him for me." Megan pleaded.

"Take care of your baby for him." Brooke chocked through her tears.

"I'm sorry." Megan repeated.

"I forgive you. It's okay. I don't blame you for anything and he's going to be okay. So don't worry. You just go ahead and go," She said softly as she stroked Megan's hand. "You can let go now…go ahead and go…just go." Brooke felt warm tears cascade down her face when the monitor beeped a steady tone signaling Megan was gone.

--

Review please!


	10. Crush

Chapter Ten: Crush

She stayed with Megan until a doctor returned to shut off the monitor and cover her body with a sheet. Even after she was told she could leave, Brooke couldn't bring herself to leave Megan alone in the empty hospital room. Even after Megan was taken to the morgue, she couldn't move from her seat. She had no idea how she was going to tell Julian that Megan was gone and so was his daughter. Her mind was racing when she was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. She turned her attention to see Peyton standing in the doorway. "Hey." She said softly.

"Hi." Peyton responded as she walked over toward her best friend. "Luke called me and said you haven't moved out of here for a few hours."

Brooke nodded toward where Megan used to lay but she had been moved to the morgue quite some time ago. "She's gone." She whispered.

Peyton leaned over and enveloped Brooke in a hug. "I know, sweetie."

She squeezed her eyes shut as Peyton held her. "How am I supposed to tell him?" She asked.

Peyton shook her head as she continued to rub Brooke's back. "You'll find a way." She said softly. "You always do."

She perked her head up as she pulled away. "Is Luke still with him?"

Peyton nodded. "Visiting hours end in half an hour though. Why don't you go and see Julian and say goodnight and then I'll bring you home?" She suggested.

Home. She still hadn't been home which meant her mom and Sam still didn't know. Lucas hadn't been able to get a hold of her mom when he tried calling earlier and she had been so overwhelmed that she hadn't had a chance to call either one of them since. "They're going to hate me." She said as she shook her head. Peyton looked at her quizzically. "They still think I'm in LA."

--

She had said goodnight to Julian, thanked Lucas for staying with him and went to check on Haley who had delivered a six pound, eight ounce little girl a few hours earlier who had yet to be named. The drive back to her house was a little over an hour and they had only been in the car ten minutes and Lucas was already asleep in the backseat while Peyton drove. "I need to tell you something." Brooke said softly as she twirled a piece of hair absent-mindedly. Peyton glanced over at her before returning her attention to the road. "I don't remember being raped." She said.

Peyton nodded. "You told me that already."

"I know." Brooke nodded. "But even though I don't remember it I still know it happened and I've been pretending ever since then that it doesn't bother me but I've been lying."

Peyton knew this conversation was coming. She knew Brooke was a master at hiding and disguising her emotions but eventually the mask came off and she had to help her pick up the pieces. "Okay." Peyton said slowly knowing there was more Brooke had to say.

"At first I thought it was better that I didn't remember what happened to me but now I'm not so sure. I've been trying so hard to believe what I've been telling all of you but I just can't anymore. I'm not fine. I never was and I think it's going to take a long time for me to get back to where I used to be before it happened. Part of me thinks I'll never get back to that place but…" She trailed off.

Peyton reached over and patted her knee. "We're going to help you get back." She smiled.

"I feel so foolish." Brooke said as she stared out the window at the passing cars on the highway.

"Why?"

"On Christmas Day I led Julian back to my bedroom while everyone else was asleep in the living room to have sex. I was fine up until he went to unclasp my bra. I just started to freak out and I yelled at him to get off of me." She shook her head. "He wasn't doing anything to hurt me I just got scared and I felt trapped like when those men barged in my store." She looked over at Peyton with tears in her eyes. "I told him I was ready but I'm scared I'll never be."

"He's going to wait for you." She assured her.

--

It was late when Peyton pulled into Brooke's driveway. She thanked her for meeting her at the hospital and driving her home and Peyton thanked her for helping her get Lucas home so she wouldn't have to do it by herself. She expected her mom and Sam to be asleep so she was surprised when she saw both of them and Jack sitting in the living room.

"Brooke!" Sam exclaimed when she saw her walk through the door. "What are you doing home?" She tried her best to wipe the tears from her eyes but Brooke had already seen them.

"Haley had the baby," Brooke answered nonchalantly as she pulled Sam into a hug. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Sam shook her head as she pulled away from Brooke. "You're going to be really mad at me."

Brooke looked over at her mom who seemed paler than usual. "What's going on?" She asked. And then she saw it. Laying on a paper plate on the coffee table. She felt dizzy again as she reached out for the arm of the chair to steady herself. "Tell me that's not what I think it is." She said as she pointed toward the table.

Tears poured down Sam's face. "I'm sorry." She cried. "I didn't mean to—"

"You're seventeen!" Brooke cried. "You're not even supposed to have boys in your bedroom so how the hell are you pregnant?!"

"I know, but—"

"How long have you been having sex?" Brooke demanded.

Sam looked down at the carpet and then over at Jack who hadn't said a single thing since Brooke returned. "The first time was the day you left for LA with Julian."

Brooke threw her hands up in the air. "Unbelievable!" She cried. "The _second_ I leave town you're hopping in bed with boys. I thought I told you how much I regretted the person I was in high school? I thought that talk had impacted you, Samantha!"

"I'm not you, Brooke!" She yelled as she stood up. "I'm not the slut who sleeps with a different guy each day of the week, that was you! The only person I've slept with is Jack, but you were never a one-man woman, were you? Pretty skanky to sleep with Chris Keller while you were with Lucas don't you think? And if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous of the fact I'm pregnant."

Brooke stepped back as though she had just been slapped across the face. "Go to your room." She whispered harshly.

Sam did as she was told but on her way toward her room she stopped and turned around. "Kind of hypocritical, don't you think? I mean you were pregnant back in high school not once but twice. Pot, meet kettle."

"I was never actually pregnant." Brooke corrected her. "I had two pregnancy _scares_ and one of the main reasons I slept around so much was because I wanted to be loved by someone because my parents were never there for me. I didn't have someone looking out for me but if I did, I can assure you I wouldn't have been the person I was back in high school. I told you all those stories so you wouldn't end up like me, I didn't tell them to you so you could use them against me like you're doing right now. How do you think Julian's going to feel when he wakes up and finds out you're pregnant?"

Sam, Victoria and Jack all looked at her quizzically. "Wakes up?" Victoria asked.

Brooke nodded. "He was in a car accident this afternoon. Megan and the baby died and he's in a coma."

"Oh my god," Victoria gasped as she stood up and hugged her daughter. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Brooke leaned into her embrace. "I'm okay." She said as she shut her eyes.

Victoria rubbed her daughter's back. "You're not, though." She whispered in her hair. "And that's okay."

Brooke pulled away and looked over at Sam who was crying again. "He's going to be okay, Sam." She said as she walked over toward her.

"I'm sorry for what I said." She cried on her shoulder.

Brooke nodded. "I know you are." She whispered as she led her to the couch. "This is what we're going to do, okay? Tomorrow when I go to see Julian you're going to come with me and we're going to see a doctor to find out if you really are pregnant. We're going to get through this, Sam. No matter what I'm going to be here for you."

Sam looked up at her. "I'm scared."

"I am too." Brooke said softly. "Jack, buddy, how are you feeling about this?" She asked as she patted his knee.

"I'm scared to death. I'm not ready to be a dad, I can barely take care of myself." He said as he shook his head and lowered it into his hands.

"We're going to make it through this." Brooke assured them as she rubbed his back. "Why don't you just stay here tonight and come with us in the morning?"

Jack agreed as he got up to get the couch ready for bed. "No rules tonight." Brooke said as she shook her head. "You don't have to sleep on the couch."

Sam and Jack stared at her in disbelief. "Maybe if I wasn't so hard on you from the beginning you wouldn't have felt the need to sneak around. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten pregnant." She shrugged. "And besides, I have a feeling you two aren't going to be doing anything anytime soon because I know this has scared you to death. You both need each other tonight, anyway." She said simply. She watched as Sam and Jack walked toward Sam's room and shut the door.

"This isn't your fault." Victoria said softly.

"I grow up with no rules and have two pregnancy scares, I lay down the law for Sam and she ends up possibly pregnant." She shrugged. "I just can't win."

Victoria sighed. "I should have told you when I walked in on them."

"You knew?!" Brooke cried.

She nodded. "Like I said, I should have told you the moment I found out but I wanted to be the cool grandma. I didn't want to be the one who ratted her out but now I realize I'd much rather have ratted her out and deal with the consequence of her hating me than be in the position we're in now." She stopped when she saw Brooke smiling at her. "What?" She asked.

"You said grandma." Brooke grinned.

"I did not." Victoria argued.

Brooke's smile broadened. "You see yourself as her grandmother, don't you?"

Victoria tried not to smile but ended up caving. She nodded. "I do."

"Mom," Brooke awed as she scooted closer and hugged her.

"Well she probably considers me her grandmother since this came in the mail the other day. She probably considers you her mom now too." Victoria smiled as she handed Brooke the manila folder.

Tears sprang to her eyes when Brooke saw the signed adoption papers in the folder. Sam was legally her daughter now. "She's mine now?" She asked just to make sure.

Victoria nodded. "She's all yours."

--

Before they left for the hospital the next morning, Brooke made a phone call she was dreading. She hated making people sad and upset and that was exactly what she was going to do when she called Jess but she knew she had to do it. To her surprise, Jess remained pretty calm on the phone and said she'd cancel all of her appointment for the next few days. She said she'd be on the next plane out to North Carolina.

Sam's appointment was in a few hours so she and Jack sat in the waiting room while Brooke went into see Julian. Brooke had tried to get her to go in with her but Sam was petrified to see him all banged up and lying on the bed helpless.

"Hey, you." Brooke greeted as she walked into Julian's room. She sat down in the chair beside his bed and reached for his hand. "I need you to wake up so I can lean on you for support again. You're better at being the strong one, you know. Sam might be pregnant." She stopped and waited praying that that small piece of news might miraculously wake him up. It didn't. "I know what you're thinking; you want to kill Jack, she's only seventeen, blah blah blah. I thought the same thing last night but then I saw how terrified she was and all that anger just flew out the window." She sighed. "What am I supposed to do if she really is pregnant? Adoption agencies probably won't let us adopt a child from them because we couldn't handle our teenager and she ended up pregnant. She's mine, officially, by the way. The papers came in the mail a few days ago I guess. I'm a mom." She couldn't help but smile at her words. She turned when she heard the door open and was surprised to see Lucas enter. "Hey," She smiled. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see how he was doing."

She smiled as she watched him sit down on the other side of the bed across from her. They remained in silence for a few minutes before she broke it. "How's the apartment?"

He smiled. "I cleaned it up a bit last night and this morning. It's looking good."

"That's good to hear." She nodded. "You should have Connor over one night, get reacquainted with your son."

"I'm not sure how well Peyton and Mike will like that."

Brooke shrugged. "He's not Mike's son. He's yours and you have the right to spend time with him. If it'll make you feel better I'll talk to Peyton for you."

He stared at her. "You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you." She winked at him after repeating the same line he had said to her the previous night. "I know something you don't know." She teased.

He leaned back in the chair and clasped his hands behind his head. "What's that?"

She smirked. "Well if I tell you then it won't be a secret anymore and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you what I know."

"Brooke," He laughed. "C'mon."

She leaned forward. "I know someone who has a little crush on you."

He cocked his eyebrow. She knew she had him intrigued. "Who?" He asked.

"Jess." She said simply as she leaned back in her chair.

His eyes bulged. "No way."

She nodded and grinned. "Way. And guess what? She's on her way out here to see Julian so I'm sure after she sees him she'll want to spend time getting to know you. She couldn't stop talking about you when we got back to LA."

Lucas leaned back and smiled. Brooke smiled at his contentment. She knew that was exactly what he needed: someone interested in him so he could turn back into the best version of himself instead of heading down the road of a deadbeat. He noticed her demeanor change suddenly; she was no longer smiling at him. Instead, it looked as if she was about to cry. "Hey," He called. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Brooke," He pressed. "Contrary to popular belief, I know you."

She smiled at his words. She had said the same thing to him the previous night. "I know I'm supposed to be positive but what if he wakes up and something's wrong with him? Or what if he doesn't wake up? What—"

"Stop," He said softly. "Don't think like that. He's only been like this for a day; he's going to wake up because you two are destined to be with each other. He's not going to leave you alone because he knows how much you hate it. He's going to be there for you again."

She smiled at him. She didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Do you ever think about how our lives would have turned out if I was pregnant one of those times I thought I was?"

He stared at her. "Where's this coming from, Brooke?"

"Sam might be pregnant."

"Oh."

"I mean, I'm so happy now with Julian but there are times when I wonder what our lives would have been like if I actually had been pregnant. Would we have ended up living happily ever after together or would we have been torn apart by it? What do you think would have happened to us, Luke?"

He stared at her a long while before answering. "I think that it would have been hard at first but we would have overcome it. We were great together, Brooke, and I would have done anything for you and our baby." He smiled to himself. "I think that there's another universe out there somewhere and you and I and the whole rest of the world are living in it but it's a world of what ifs and what could have beens. In that world, I think you really were pregnant and we had a beautiful baby boy and we lived happily ever after. I don't think my Uncle Keith died in that world because he died in this one. That's what I believe."

She cocked her head to the side at his words "Kind of like an alternate universe? Like whatever choices we made in this life, we made the opposite in the other world we're living in?"

Lucas nodded. "So that way we get the best of both worlds."

"But we don't get to live that other life." She said sadly.

He nodded. "We don't, but I think there's a reason we get to live and experience this one."

Brooke continued to talk to Lucas and didn't realize that it was almost time for Sam's appointment. She turned to see Jack standing in the doorway telling her it was time to go.

"Stay with him for me until I get back?" She asked from the doorway.

He nodded. "Anything for you."

--

Sam hadn't said much since the doctor left with her blood sample twenty minutes ago. Brooke and Jack watched as she sat on the exam table swinging her feet back and forth. "What's on your mind?" Brooke asked.

Sam stared at her. "Really?" She sighed. "You're really asking me that question right now?"

Brooke shrugged. "Sorry." She mumbled.

The doctor knocked lightly two times before entering the room again. "I have your results." She said as she sat down opposite Sam.

--

Should she be pregnant or should it all just have been a scare?

Review please!!


	11. See

Chapter Eleven: See

"You're sure?" Brooke asked as she squeezed Sam's hand.

The doctor nodded. "There's no baby."

Brooke exhaled loudly and leaned back in her chair. "Thank god!"

The doctor smiled before excusing herself from the room.

Brooke noticed the sad look on Sam's face as she handed her her jeans and sweatshirt. "Why do you look so upset?" She asked.

Sam shrugged. "As much as I didn't want a baby at seventeen, part of me did."

Brooke sighed as she joined Sam on the exam table and reached for her hand. "There's so much more you have to experience before you have a baby, Sam. There's prom, your first legal drink, your first day of college, graduation, the list goes on and on and I know much part of you actually wanted to be pregnant because there was a time in my life when I was in the same situation." She paused as she looked around the room before continuing. "I was the same age as you when I had my first pregnancy scare with Lucas and as much as I knew I was in no shape to have a kid there was this voice in my head that said it would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. So many people had let me down so I felt like if I had this baby, he or she would love me unconditionally and that's all I ever wanted back then." She sighed. "I guess I should have shared all this with you instead of just saying 'don't have sex,' huh?"

Sam smiled as she wiped her eyes. "Yeah."

Brooke grinned as she pulled Sam close. "Well I have a lot more stories I want to share with you."

"I'd like that." Sam nodded as she rested her head on Brooke's shoulder.

"Brooke!" Lucas exclaimed breathlessly as he barged into the room. "He's awake!"

She stared at him unable to move.

"Brooke!" He called again as he rushed to her side. "Julian's awake."

"Is he okay?" She asked warily.

Lucas shrugged. "All I know is that he's awake and asking for you."

Brooke glanced over at Sam who still had a hospital gown on. "Do you want me to wait for you—"

Sam smiled and shook her head. "No. Go see him, Jack and I will catch up with you in a few minutes."

"So, is she pregnant?" Lucas asked in the elevator.

Brooke shook her head. "It was just a scare."

He couldn't help but smile to himself. "You two are so alike it's not even funny."

She tilted her head to the side. "You really think so?"

"You're the spitting image of each other."

The elevator dinged and the second the doors opened, she bounded out leaving him alone. He smiled and shook his head before following her.

"Hey, sweetie." She said softly once she was at his side. "You scared me."

"Brooke?" His voice was deep and hoarse.

She reached for his hand. "I'm right here, baby." She smiled.

"Where?"

She stared at him. His eyes were wide open so why couldn't he see her? "You can't see me?" She asked warily.

He shook his head. "I can't see anything." He panicked.

"I'm going to get a doctor, you're going to be okay."

Lucas saw her emerge from his room with tears cascading down her face. "What's wrong?" He asked as he searched her eyes for some sort of answer.

"He can't see anything." She cried as her eyes darted around for his doctor. "He can't see me."

"Go back in with him and I'll find his doctor, okay?"

She nodded.

Lucas pulled her into a quick hug before letting her go. "He's going to be okay, Brooke."

--

"What do you think about Jennifer?" Haley asked as she flipped through a baby name book while Nathan set up the crib.

They weren't prepared for their daughter's birth so nothing had been set up. She wasn't supposed to be born for another three weeks so they thought they had plenty of time but she had decided to come early and now, she didn't have a name or a nursery to sleep in.

"It's kind of boring." He shrugged.

Haley sighed. They had been at this for almost two hours and every name she had thrown out, he had shot down with some sort of remark. "I don't see you coming up with any names."

He laughed. "I'm trying to set up her crib so she has someplace to sleep tonight."

The doctor had discharged the happy family from the hospital earlier in the morning since there were no complications and both mother and baby were in perfect health. "So you can't multi-task?" She asked.

"Why don't you go and get her out of our room and ask her if she likes any of the names?" He suggested.

She groaned as she rose to her feet. "You just want me to leave you alone, don't you?"

"Just for a little bit." He grinned.

She had almost made it to the doorway when she stopped and turned around. "Just so you know, this is it for babies. I'm not going through childbirth again."

"You said that right after you had Jamie, too you know." He replied. "And, neither Jamie nor the one we just had was planned, so you keep saying 'this is it' all you want but we both know you're going to end up pregnant again." He smiled.

"Not if I hold out sex." She smirked.

He laughed. "I'd like to see how long you could go without sex."

"I waited eighteen years before I did it for the first time." She shrugged.

He stopped putting the crib together and faced her. "That was before I introduced you to it, now, you're addicted to it."

She stared at him in disgust. "Am not!" She argued.

"Are too." He grinned.

She huffed and turned on her heel. "I'm going to get our nameless daughter so I don't have to spend another minute with my dirty husband."

He laughed to himself as he reached for the hammer and began to put the crib together again.

--

"Due to the impact of the crash, Julian's brain bounced off the front and back of his skull, which caused contusions to the front and occipital lobe." The doctor explained out in the hallway.

"His brain's bleeding?" Brooke asked.

The doctor nodded. "It's not life threatening but there are some bruises. The occipital lobe controls vision so it's not uncommon for patients like Julian to be temporarily blinded. It should return within a couple of days."

"Should?" Brooke asked wearily.

"We'll know more when we run another CT scan but the swelling in his brain should start receding within a few days." The doctor said before excusing himself.

Lucas couldn't help but notice how pale Brooke had become upon hearing the doctor's words. "What if he doesn't get his vision back? What if he's never able to see again? How am I supposed to take care of a blind man, Lucas?" She asked as she began to pace in the hallway.

He stepped in front of her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Stop worrying. You heard the doctor, his vision should return within a few days and everything will be fine. You need to stop getting so worked up about things, Brooke. Why don't you go in and sit with him, I'm sure even though he can't see you, he'd love to hear your voice. I'll call Nathan and Haley, Peyton and your mom to let them all know he's awake." He said softly. "It's your turn to be the strong one."

--

She knocked lightly on the door before re-entering his room. "Hey you." She said softly as she sat down beside him. "You're going to be okay."

"How?" He sighed. "I can't see a damn thing!"

Brooke reached for his hand but he flinched when he felt her hand come into contact with is. "The doctor said it's only temporary. Your vision should return within a couple of days." She assured him as she gently rubbed his hand.

He leaned back in the bed. "Should?"

She nodded but then remembered that he couldn't see her even though both his eyes were open. "It's going to come back, it has to."

She watched as he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his hand. She forgot how much strength it took to be the strong one in a situation like this. Suddenly, he lunged forward and his eyes opened. She watched as he turned his head all around the room, she knew he was trying to figure out where she was. "I'm right here." She said as she sat down beside him on the bed.

"Where's Megan?" He panicked. "How is she? What about the baby?"

She was glad he couldn't see her. Tears were welling in her eyes, she knew he was going to ask about her sooner or later and she knew she wasn't going to be ready to tell him no matter when he asked. She carefully wiped her eyes before reaching for both of his hands and taking them into her own. "She didn't make it." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"No!" He cried as he shook his head back and forth. "No!" He pulled his hands away from her violently. "What about our baby?"

She didn't say anything. Instead, Julian got his answer when he heard her loud sobs. "I'm so sorry." She cried as she tried to control her emotions.

He didn't say anything. As she cried, he just laid there staring straight ahead at the hospital wall. When her tears finally subsided, she looked at him questionably. "Brooke?" He called out softly. She reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Lay with me."

His request was small but it spoke volumes. She nodded; again forgetting he couldn't see her, before snuggling up close to him in the bed that was too small for them to fit comfortably but neither one of them seemed to care. He relied on his sense of touch as he fumbled at first but was finally able to wrap his arms securely around her as she lay in his embrace. He smelt the strawberry and vanilla aroma of her hair as he placed soft kisses on her head. He wasn't ready to talk and she knew that. She was there to listen when he was finally ready to open up and he knew that. Both of them laid in the silence of the hospital room with worries and fears swarming their minds but the thoughts in their heads could not have been more different from each other.

--

"I don't understand why I'm not allowed to see him." Sam said as Lucas drove her and Jack home from the hospital. "Brooke was adamant about me visiting him and now when I actually go there to see him, I'm whisked away and brought back home. What gives?"

Lucas took his eyes off the road to look at her in the passenger seat. "There was a complication when he woke up. Brooke just needs some time alone with him right now. The doctor said Julian will most likely be home tomorrow so you can see him then."

Sam turned toward Lucas. "What kind of complication?"

Lucas shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Dude!" She exclaimed as she shoved his shoulder. "You can't just say he woke up with a complication and then not tell me what's up. That's so not fair!"

"You could have gotten us in an accident!" He said as he motioned to his shoulder.

Sam huffed. "Yeah, because there's just so many cars on the road."

Jack laughed from the backseat as he gazed out the window. Sam had a point; they were the only ones on the road at the moment.

"Are you always so sarcastic?" Lucas smirked.

"It's just one of her amazing qualities." Jack joked.

Sam turned and spit her tongue out at him before turning her attention back to Lucas. "What's going on with Julian?"

Lucas sighed as he turned onto Brooke's street. "I promised Brooke I wouldn't tell because she doesn't want to worry you so if I tell the two of you; you guys need to promise not to tell her I told you, okay?"

Both Sam and Jack nodded their heads.

"He woke up with some temporary blindness. His vision should return within the next couple of days but you never know. Brooke's already panicking but I told her she needs to put on a strong face because Julian's probably ten times as scared as she is. No matter what happens, we're all going to be fine."

She sighed as she slouched down in the seat. "Why do you say things like that?"

He glanced over at her. "Like what?"

"What ever happens, we're all going to be fine?" She repeated in a deep voice, mimicking Lucas with squinted eyes.

"What's wrong with saying that?"

"You're not part of us. You and Brooke may be on the mend but she's in a relationship with Julian. Just because you weren't there to save her in high school doesn't mean you have to do it now. She doesn't need saving and even if she did, she has Julian to do that for her. I know you're just trying to help but there comes a point where you've done all you can and the promises you make aren't going to hold up." She sighed as she turned and looked out the window as they approached Brooke's house. "Where are you going to be if he doesn't recover? Brooke and I are going to be the ones helping Julian get used to being blind, not you. He doesn't concern you. Her relationship doesn't concern you, it's her and Julian not her, Julian and you. You want to know what I think?" She asked as she turned to face him. He nodded. "I think you're trying to impress Brooke by always being there for her now because you weren't when she needed you the most."

Luckily, they were in Brooke's driveway because had Sam said all that any time sooner the rest of the car ride would have been especially awkward. "Well, thanks for the ride." Jack said as he opened his car door. He walked around the car toward the house expecting Sam to be behind him but when he reached the door he noticed she was still sitting in the car. "Sam!" He called.

"You're pretty protective of her, huh?" Lucas observed.

She shrugged. "I love her."

He nodded. "I know you do. I also know how much she loves you."

She turned so he wouldn't see the tears that were forming in her eyes. "She's the first person that has ever cared about me. She took me into her house after I was a total bitch to her, I don't know if I could have done that."

He smiled. "I don't know too many people who would have done that."

"I just hate seeing her in pain. I miss the old Brooke; the one who was independent and carefree. I miss the way she didn't care what anyone had to say about her because she simply didn't care. I miss her spunk and her usual hilarious bitchy comments. She used to be fun but now her life has become a living hell and I don't know how much more she can take." Her voice cracked. "I didn't mean to say all that stuff to you. I'm just angry and I had to take it out on someone."

He shook his head. "Don't apologize. You were right anyway. I loved her at one point in my life and part of me still loves her. Part of me always will." He said simply. He saw the worried look on Sam's face and instantly regretted what he just said. "But I know she's with Julian and she's happy. I'm not going to take that away from her this time, and besides," He shrugged. "Someone has a crush on me."

Sam's eyes bulged. "Who?"

He smirked. "Jess."

"No!" She shrieked before laughing. "That's so weird. I mean, really, Julian's sister?"

He threw his head back in laughter. "What's so weird about that?"

She shook her head and smiled as she opened her door. "Later, dude."

"Sam!" He called.

She didn't even turn around; instead, she waved him off as she approached Jack. He smiled to himself as he watched the two of them walk into the house together. He couldn't help but see a young version of himself and Brooke in the two of them.

--

"I don't understand why you're letting me take him home." Brooke said as she shook her head. "He still can't see."

The doctor nodded. "I know that, but he's fine. He's in excellent health despite the temporary blindness and bruises from the accident. Both of those things will heal the same way at home as they would here in the hosptial."

"But he had surgery yesterday. Don't you think this would be the best place for him to be incase something were to go wrong?"

"Miss Davis," The doctor said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "The best place for Julian to be is a place where he feels comfortable. I just finished my exam on him and he's doing great. He's going to be sore from the incision on his stomach but he's going to do better at home, believe me."

"If anything happens—"

"It won't," He interrupted. "But here's my personal cell phone number just in case."

She smiled and thanked him before walking back into Julian's room. "You ready to go home?"

He turned his head toward the sound of her voice. "Home?"

"Yeah, the doctor said he's discharging you." She said as she tried to sound optimistic.

"But I can't see. How—"

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "You're going to have me, Sam, my mom and Jess there to help you. You really are better off at home."

--

Later that evening as Brooke, Sam, Julian, Victoria and Jess all sat around the kitchen table eating the pizza they had ordered, Julian couldn't help but feel out of place. They were all laughing and having a good time, they were acting as if nothing had happened and for the life of him he couldn't understand why. He scared everyone when he violently pushed himself away from the table and stood up. "Babe," Brooke said softly as she helped steady him. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "You're all acting like nothing happened. Two people are dead and all of you are laughing and joking about God knows what! How can you do that?" He turned to walk away from the table but stumbled. "Damn it!" He exclaimed.

She didn't say a word. Instead, she walked over to his side, reached for his arm and slowly led him back toward their bedroom. "I know you're upset and there are a lot of emotions running through your head right now but—"

"But what Brooke?" He asked as he flipped over on his side. "I'm not allowed to have outbursts? I don't know what the fuck to feel right now that's how screwed up I am and before you say you know or you understand what I'm going through, don't, because you have no idea what I'm feeling right now."

She nodded but again realized he still couldn't see her. "You're right." She said softly. "There's a glass of water on the nightstand to your left, right where you usually keep it every night but next to that is one of your pain killers just in case your head or incision start to bother you." She told him as she pulled the covers up over his body. "If you need anything just call for me, okay?" She waited for an answer but didn't receive one.

He waited until he heard her close the door before turning over and reaching for the medication. He cursed himself when he knocked over the water glass but smiled when his fingers stumbled upon the pill. Nor his head or incision on his abdomen was bothering him but he thought by taking the small white pill he'd be able to numb the pain in his mind.

--

"Do you know what happened?" Jess asked as she helped Brooke put some of the dishes away. Victoria had offered to take Sam out for ice cream so Brooke and Jess could talk and catch up without a hundred different questions from Sam.

She shook her head. "I don't think Julian would just swerve off the road like that either. The officer said there were distinct skid marks at the scene."

Jess sighed as she put the drying rag down. "How did he get so lucky? It could have just as easily have been the other way around, Megan could have lived and we could have been planning his funeral."

"Don't say that." Brooke said as she braced herself against the counter. Megan noticed how pale Brooke had become and how white her knuckles were as she continued to squeeze the ledge of the counter.

"Hey," She said softly as she placed her hand on Brooke's shoulder. "It didn't happen. He's here."

Brooke was about to respond when she heard him scream. Without hesitating she ran toward her room to find him thrashing around in the sheets yelling and screaming. "Julian," She said softly as she climbed into the bed and reached for his arms. "You're just dreaming, it's okay," Jess watched from the doorway as her brother continued to fight Brooke but she couldn't get herself to move to help her. "Julian, baby, calm down. Wake up, it's all right now." Brooke watched as his eyes opened but she knew he couldn't see her sitting right next to him. "I'm right here, it was all just a dream."

He shook his head as tears began to escape his eyes. "We were in the car and she was covered in flames. I—I- couldn't save her, I—"

"Shhh," Brooke cut him off as she pulled him into her embrace. "It's okay, it was just a dream."

"It wasn't though," He cried against her shoulder. Jess couldn't stand to see her brother as he was, he was usually the one who had it all together, and she turned and headed back toward the kitchen before she lost it too.

Brooke was exhausted. She hadn't slept for almost three days as a result of the tumultuous turn of events. "I'm not leaving." She said softly as she moved up toward her usual spot in their bed. He waited until he felt her stop moving before moving his body closer to hers. She smiled when she felt him press up against her before gently moving his arm to wrap around her chest. "You're here." She whispered.

"I'm here." He replied before gently kissing the top of her head.

--

Review please!!

And P.S. – sorry about how long it took to update it's just without OTH on, I'm really not that motivated to write but now that it's back on we're all good. Thanks for reading/reviewing!


	12. Blur

Chapter Twelve: Blur

It's been a week since he came home. The doctor said a couple days and she knows that everyone's definition of a couple is different but it's been seven long days and his sight still hasn't returned. She's tried as hard as she can to maintain a strong front for him, for Sam, for Jess and even for her mom but there's only so much she can take before she breaks down just like all the rest of them. She's only human.

She sat in the living room with a sketchpad in her lap and colored pencils by her side but she just couldn't get in the mood to do some work. She knew she didn't have any deadlines she had to meet but she felt like she had to do something other than take care of everyone. She groaned as she rose to her feet and walked out onto the back porch before walking toward the ocean's edge. It was early March, cold but comfortable at the same time, and as she walked along the sandy beach she thought back to when her biggest problem was trying to figure out what outfit to wear to school on Monday morning. She missed being that naïve and innocent, she missed her old self. The water crashed against the shore, splashing her leg in the process. She jumped back slightly, the coldness of the water had scared her, and she hadn't realized how close she had gotten to the water's edge. She let her mind wander and found herself thinking of Sam and how the only time she seemed to be home was to sleep or eat. She and Jack had school and then they'd always go someplace after to hang out before they returned to the house for dinner. She thought of Jess and how close she had grown to Lucas in just a matter of a few days. She smiled when she thought of her mom and the new "friend" she had mentioned earlier in the week. Everyone had someone in his or her lives that wanted the same thing out of the relationship. She thought she had that but in recent days she had come to doubt what she and Julian had.

He wouldn't talk or look at her whenever she went into their room to check on him. She tried to get him out of bed to eat with all the rest of them but he refused. She hated who he had become but she knew that everyone grieved differently and he wasn't just grieving, he was dealing with being temporarily blinded and with each day that passed he became less and less optimistic that he would stay that way. But each night, she forced herself to stay awake because she knew it was only a matter of time before he started to dream. Every single time he'd start screaming and she'd have to force him to wake up and realize it was all just a dream. Only then did he want her and she knew it was only because he needed her. She'd snuggle up beside him and have him wrap his arms around her and she'd rub his arm gently until he fell back asleep. It was the same routine every single night. Every day was the same: Sam would go to school and hang out with Jack afterward. Her mom would run the store during the day and then go out with her "friend" in the evening. Jess preferred to spend time with Lucas at his place since she didn't like whom Julian had become either and she felt uncomfortable at Brooke's. That left Brooke in the house with a man who refused to acknowledge her presence, which left her to her thoughts, which in turn led her to doubt herself. She knew she was successful. She knew she was strong. She knew she was loved by Sam and by all her friends. She knew she was a good person but she hated the fact that she couldn't be a good woman. She didn't like to talk about her feelings. She didn't like to cry and be vulnerable. She didn't like how she couldn't give Julian a family. She didn't like feeling like a failure.

She smiled in spite of herself as she sat down in the sand and stared out at the immensity of it all. She of all people right now shouldn't be feeling sorry for herself and drowning in self-pity but she couldn't help it. She didn't have anyone to tell her to suck it up or that her life didn't suck and as much as she would argue with whoever had the courage to tell her that, she wanted to hear it so badly. At least then she would stop the pity party she was throwing for herself and maybe when she did that she wouldn't feel so shitty anymore. "You're life doesn't suck, Brooke." She said aloud to herself. It didn't help; it wasn't the same hearing it from herself.

--

"Tell me to suck it up. Tell me my life isn't as shitty as I think it is." She said as soon as she opened the door. "Tell me."

Peyton stared at Brooke in utter confusion. She couldn't help but laugh. "What's going on, Brooke?"

"Tell me." She begged.

"Suck it up, Brooke? You're life isn't shitty?"

Brooke sighed heavily. "You have to say it like you mean it."

Peyton reached out and pulled Brooke inside her house. "What's going on with you?" She asked after she shut the door as they walked toward the kitchen.

She shook her head. "It's nothing, really."

Peyton leaned against the counter and sighed. "It's obviously something if you came all the way over here to ask me to make insults toward you. I'm your best friend, tell me what's going on in that crazy little head of yours." She smiled.

"I shouldn't be the one who's sulking around. Nothing traumatic happened to me, I understand why Julian's so upset I just don't understand why I'm feeling the way I do." She said as she pulled out one of the bar stools and sat down. "No one's around anymore like they used to but I used to love being alone. Now…" She trailed off as she laid her head down on the counter.

Peyton couldn't help but notice how tired and worn her best friend looked. "Now, what, Brooke?" She pressed.

"Do you mind if I just laid down for a little bit? I haven't slept through the night since the night before the accident—"

"Sweetie, you don't have to explain yourself. Of course you can, if you want you can go lay down in my bed?" Peyton offered as she pointed down the hall.

Brooke nodded. "Thank you."

--

"So," Jess said as she leaned across the booth she and Lucas were currently occupying. "How many serious girlfriends have you had?"

Lucas leaned forward so their faces were mere inches apart. "Don't you think it's kind of soon to be asking questions like that?"

She shook her head and giggled. Lucas found her laugh to be infectious. "Why are you avoiding it?" She asked.

"How many serious boyfriends have you had?" He countered.

She shook her head. "I'm not going to tell you until you tell me and besides, I don't want to tell you in a place like this." She said as she looked around the small coffee shop.

"Why, are you scared one of them might be lurking in the shadows and all of a sudden their going to pop out and tell me all these horror stories about you?" He smiled.

"No," She laughed. "It's just personal and I want to be alone when I tell you about my past."

"Well I want to be alone, too."

She threw her head back in laughter. "The only reason you're saying that is because you're trying to avoid this whole situation."

He shook his head. "No I'm not. It's just a very personal topic for me." He said in a very serious voice before laughing at himself.

"You know, you're turning out to be one big tease. First you won't kiss me goodnight after our first date, now you're withholding information from me which is obviously juicy or else you wouldn't have a problem telling me." She said as she leaned back.

He glanced around the near empty coffee shop. "What do you say we leave and go someplace we can be alone?"

She crossed her arms and stared at him. "Why would I do that? You're just going to continue to tease me."

He shook his head. "I was actually going to do some things to you I most definitely can't do in public but I guess I could just tease you since—"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the booth before running toward the door. He smiled as he watched her, he was really falling for her and it scared him to death.

--

"So," Jamie sighed as he walked in the house with Nathan after a day at school. "What's the baby's name today?"

Nathan laughed. His son did have a point; the new baby seemed to have a different name every day of the week since he and Haley couldn't seem to agree on one. "I don't know, let's go ask mommy if she found a name."

"Did I ever go a week without having my name?" He asked as he followed Nathan into the family room.

Nathan shook his head. "We had your name picked out before you were born."

Jamie smiled. "So I guess I'm the favorite, then?"

"No," Nathan shook his head. "We don't have favorites."

Jamie laughed. "You definitely do. You really expect me to believe you love that thing and me the same? I don't poop in diapers anymore which means you don't have to clean them, that's gotta make you love me more than her!"

"She's not a thing, she's your sister and there was a time when you pooped in diapers too, buddy. She's just a baby and that's what they do. I know this whole adjustment hasn't been easy for you because you've been an only child for seven years but your little sister's here to stay."

Jamie sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Nathan smiled. "You're still adjusting."

"Just the two boys I wanted to see." Haley smiled when she saw them. "What do you think about the name Sarah?"

Nathan shrugged. "It' elegant."

Jamie nodded. "And simple."

Haley smiled. "So you think she could be a Sarah?"

Jamie walked over to where his baby sister was sleeping. "I think at this point she just want a name. She's gone a week without one I don't think she can wait any longer."

Nathan and Haley laughed. "I like it. It's feminine yet strong. Sarah Scott." Nathan said as he rubbed his daughter's cheek.

"Finally!" Jamie exclaimed. "She has a name!"

"Shhh," Haley scolded. "You're going to—" But it was too late. Sarah was already woken up and screaming. She smiled at Jamie before reaching into the bassinet for her daughter.

"Sorry," Jamie said meekly.

Nathan laughed. "It's okay, bud. You're still adjusting."

--

Mike walked in the door with Connor sleeping in his arms. He quietly carried him toward his bedroom but stopped when he saw Brooke sleeping in their bed. He brought Connor to his own room and carefully laid him down in his bed. He saw Peyton sitting in the living room flipping through an old scrapbook, one he'd never seen before. As he neared her he saw pictures of Peyton and Brooke at a younger age, he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, surprising her. "Hey," She said when she felt his presence. "What are you doing home so early?"

Mike shrugged. "Connor got tired so we decided to call it a day."

"Did you guys have fun at the zoo?" She asked as she closed the scrapbook.

He smiled. "He loved it, Peyt."

"Good," She nodded. "That's good."

He sat down beside her on the couch and pulled her into his lap. "What's with Brooke in our bedroom?" He asked.

"She can't sleep at her place because she's scared to fall asleep. Julian wakes up in a panic as if he's reliving the accident all over again. She's been in there for almost four hours."

Mike nodded as he rubbed her arm. "Did you tell her?"

Peyton shook her head. "I don't know how I'm supposed to, it's going to absolutely devastate her."

"She's your best friend, sweetheart. She deserves to know." He said softly before kissing the top of her head. He nodded toward the scrapbook that was still in her hands. "That from high school?"

She smiled. "Yeah, back when life was so easy and simple."

He laughed. "You think the love triangle from hell was simple?"

She shifted in his arms. "Compared to what she's going through now, I'd say it was. I just…I want to help her because I can see her starting to drown I just don't know where to start. What am I supposed to do for her, Mike?"

"You can start by telling her what you promised you would a week ago."

She shook her head. "I can't tell her that now. If I do that I'll only be putting salt in her wounds and I can't do that to her."

"She has to know Peyton and it's going to be better coming from you than her finding out on her own." He said as he stood up and walked away.

--

Sam had been home for almost an hour and there was no sign of Brooke. She thought it was strange that she would just leave Julian alone like she did but there must have been some sort of reason. Sam refused to go into Julian's room. He scared her, the way he would scream in the middle of the night because of the nightmares would wake her up and she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. But when she heard him calling for Brooke, she figured she couldn't just ignore him so she walked toward his room and opened the door. "I don't know where she is but is there anything I can help you with?" She asked as she stood in the doorway.

His features softened when he heard her voice. "I'm just thirsty."

"Then why don't you just get up and get yourself a glass of water?"

He groaned. "I can't see a damn thing."

She rolled her eyes. "So you're going to wallow in pity and just expect everyone to wait on you hand and foot?"

He shrugged. "Brooke's been doing that for the past week."

"Because she doesn't know what to do for you!" She exclaimed as she threw her hands up. "You don't talk to her! She's just as lost as you are but you're taking advantage of her and being a huge asshole! You don't see how much of a toll this is taking on her, Julian!"

"I can't see anything, Samantha!" He yelled back. She stared at him in disbelief. Never had he ever called her Samantha, it was always either Sam or Sampson. It felt unnatural to hear him call her by her full name. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not." She said as she shook her head.

He groaned as he leaned back in the bed. "Sam."

"Get up and get yourself a glass of water if you're so damn thirsty." She said as she leaned against the doorframe and folded her arms.

"I can't see anything, Sam! Why don't you get that?" He yelled.

"I get that but just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't walk. I'll hold your hand and lead you to the kitchen sink but I'm not going to stand by and become your enabler." She said.

She watched as he pushed the covers down and swung his feet over the side of the bed. "Promise you won't let me fall?" He asked as he held out his hand.

She smiled as she took it into her own. "I promise."

--

"I'm so sorry that I called you, I just didn't know who else to call and I figured it was time for her to go back home and—"

Victoria smiled as she held her hand up. "You don't have to apologize or explain. I'm just glad she got some rest."

Peyton nodded. "I can go wake her up if you want?"

"That's okay, I don't mind." Victoria responded. "Where is she?"

"Hey, sweetheart. It's mom. Wake up, baby girl." Victoria said softly as she pushed stray strands of hair out of her daughter's face. "Brooke, sweetie. Time to wake up."

She jolted up and looked around the room confused. "Oh my god, Julian." She murmured as she scrambled to get out of the bed.

Victoria reached out and placed her hand on her arm. "He's okay. You fell asleep at Peyton's and it's time to go home now." She smiled.

"How long was I asleep for?" She asked as she ran a hand through her hair.

"About six hours." Victoria shrugged.

"I left Julian all alone. What if he got hungry or thirsty—"

"Shhh," Victoria hushed as she rubbed her daughter's back. "He's okay. You need to think about yourself, sweetie. You haven't eaten anything substantial in days and you haven't slept since the accident. You're so busy taking care of everyone else that you forget about yourself and you're the most important."

Brooke shook her head. "I'm not though."

"You are." Victoria argued. "Now what do you say we head home? I'm sure your bed is more comfortable than this one." She smiled.

"I won't be able to sleep at home."

"With time you will." Victoria said as she stood and extended her hand to Brooke.

"You didn't drive?" Victoria asked once they had said goodbye to Peyton, Mike and Connor and were standing in the driveway. Brooke shook her head. "You live six miles away from here." Victoria said.

"It gave me time to think." Brooke shrugged.

"What do you say we go get some ice cream before we head home?" Victoria suggested as she backed out the driveway.

"Before dinner? What about Sam, Julian and Jess they're probably hungry so we should get home so I can start making dinner."

"They can all take care of themselves, Brooke. You don't always need to be the one who takes care of everything, you need someone to take care of you, too, you know."

Brooke shrugged as she turned to look out the window.

"What's going on sweetheart?" Victoria asked.

She shook her head. "If I tell you I'm going to start crying and I can't do that because…because I just can't do that." She said as her voice cracked.

"Brooke," She sighed. "I know how much this is affecting you, I can see it written all over your face. You don't have to pretend with me, I'm your mom, I'm the last person you should feel embarrassed or ashamed around. You're doing an incredible job with Julian but you need to remember to take time for yourself." She paused before continuing. "You're the strongest person I know but I know it's only a matter of days before you break down as a result of being so strong. There's only so much you can take and you've far surpassed all expectations of you. I—"

"He won't even acknowledge me." She cried out cutting her mother off. "The only time he does is when he needs me to console him after his nightmares. That's not fair."

Victoria felt her heart break when she saw tears welling in Brooke's eyes. "It's not." She said softly as she reached for her hand. "I'm not justifying his actions but maybe this is his way of dealing with the loss of his child and the mother of that child. There was a time in your life when you would shut people out." She said gently knowing she was about to enter treacherous territory.

"I may have shut people out emotionally but at least I still talked to them and acknowledged their presence." She argued. "And I get that he's devastated about the loss of his child but I don't know what to do for him, mom. I don't know if he wants me to be with him or if he'd rather be alone. I don't know if his mind is constantly thinking about it or if he's thinking of something totally random so he doesn't have to think about what happened. I don't know because he doesn't talk to me!"

"He may listen to what you have to say." Victoria offered. "He may not be ready to talk to you but you have a lot to tell him so maybe he'll listen."

--

"Brooke!" Sam exclaimed when she saw her and Victoria walk through the front door. "You're home!"

"Hey, sweetheart." Brooke smiled as she hugged her daughter. "How was school today?"

Sam shrugged. "Same old boring school."

"Nice to know nothing's changed since I went." Brooke laughed. "Where's Jess?" She asked as she glanced around the empty house.

Sam smirked. "She called to say she was staying at Luke's for the night. You know what that means," She said as she raised her eyebrows several times.

"Samantha!" Brooke scolded.

Victoria laughed. "She's right, though."

Brooke shook her head. "You don't know that. They could be…talking or eating or…"

"Having sex?" Sam grinned.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Stop it!" She laughed.

Victoria smiled at her daughter. She was happy to see her smile, she couldn't remember the last time Brooke had laughed. But just as quick as her smile appeared, it faded. "How's Julian?" Brooke asked.

Sam shrugged. "Why don't you go check on him? I haven't been in there for almost an hour."

"Did you feed him dinner?" Brooke asked.

Sam shook her head.

"Sam! He needs to eat!" Brooke exclaimed.

She laughed. "Of course I fed him, I'm not stupid. And as much as I may hate him for how he's been treating you the past couple of days I know I can't deprive him of food."

Brooke shook her head as she walked back toward her bedroom. "You're unbelievable, you know that?" She heard Sam giggle and then heard the television turn on. She knew her mother had done that just in case things got heated between her and Julian, the television would distract Sam. She knocked lightly on the door before entering. "Hey," She said softly. She didn't expect an answer so when he said hi back she was surprised. He didn't turn to acknowledge her though but she didn't expect that either as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "I know you don't want to talk to me but this has been going on for a week, Julian. I miss you." She reached for his hand but he moved it away. She nodded before speaking again. "I can only imagine the pain you're feeling right now but that doesn't give you the right to treat me the way you are. I've done nothing but take care of you and make sure you're okay because that's what you deserve but I don't deserve to feel the way you're making me feel. I love you, Julian, and I want to help you through this but the only way I'm going to be able to do that is if you let me in." She tried reaching for his hand again and this time; to her surprise he let her hold it. "Let me in." She begged.

"I don't know how." He said softly as he rubbed the palm of her hand.

"I didn't know how either but once I opened up to you I started to heal and once you do the same you, eventually, will too."

He smiled softly. "I'm sorry for being such an asshole."

She laughed. "It's okay."

He shook his head. "It's not Brooke. You deserve better than that."

"You're hurting and you don't know what to feel, it's okay." She argued.

"I'm scared to death I'm never going to get my vision back." He said softly.

She was scared too but she couldn't let him know that. She had to be strong enough for the both of them. "It's going to come back, you have to believe that."

"It's hard though when nothing's changed."

"At least the doctor said it's going to come back. Try getting life changing news and knowing there's not a chance in hell you'll ever get to be…" She trailed off knowing the next word out of her mouth would make her sound extremely selfish.

"Be what?" He asked.

"It's nothing." She said as she shook her head. She was getting better at using her words around him rather than just nodding or shaking her head. She was getting used to him not being able to see her and in a way she liked that he couldn't. He couldn't see the tears that were in her eyes or the way her body was shaking and she knew if he could, his arms would be around her consoling her and as much as she wanted that, she needed to be the strong one.

"Brooke," he pleaded.

"I'll never be pregnant." She whispered as she tried to control her emotions but there was no use. She needed to feel his arms around her, she needed to be consoled and held, she needed to be told that she was loved and everything was going to be okay which was why she moved over next to him into his arms.

He held her in his arms as he tried to make her stop crying. "I can't see and you can't understand what that's like but you can't have kids and I have no idea how that feels for you but what I do know is that even though we're both going through different things, we're going through it together. I'm not giving up on the idea that you can't be a mother. I'll do anything and everything I have to in order for you to have a baby if that's what you want. I want you to be happy, Brooke." He smiled as he kissed the top of her head. "And if we try and you don't get pregnant then we can adopt. Think about if Peyton wasn't adopted, you guys would have never become best friends, I would have never dated her in LA which means I would have never come out here to find her which means I would have never met and fallen insanely in love with you. I can't imagine my life without you in it, Brooke and all because Peyton was adopted." He heard her laugh a little which made him smile. "And what about Sam? You've done a great job with her, you've become her mother and when the adoption papers finally become finalized—"

"They already have." She interrupted. "I found out the day of the accident when I came home."

He smiled and squeezed her tighter. "See? You're already a mom. There are thousands of kids out there who would be lucky to call you mom. I don't care if they're black, white, yellow or purple; our kid doesn't have to be _our_ kid in order for me to love it. I love Sam and she's not ours, it doesn't matter to me, Brooke."

She nodded at his words. "But it does to me." She said softly.

"Brooke," He started.

"No," She said as she shifted in his arms. "Why can't we be like everyone else who doesn't have a problem getting pregnant? Why can't I be the one who surprises you with a positive pregnancy test when you come home from work one day? Why won't we be able to hear our baby's heartbeat at an ultrasound or feel our baby kick inside of me? Why don't we get that, Julian?"

He shook his head; he didn't have an answer for her. He couldn't help but think about the first time he heard his child's heartbeat with Megan. He forced the thought out of his head before he got too worked up about it. He wasn't ready to talk about that just yet with Brooke. He closed his eyes as pain in his head started to reemerge. Brooke saw him wince which made her nervous. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." He said as he continued to wince.

"No, you're not." She argued as she felt his forehead. "You're burning up." She panicked.

He opened his eyes quickly to see if the pain went away but it didn't. "You're a mess." He laughed.

"Julian, stop it. You're really making me worried. I think we should go to the emergency room. You're burning up and—" She stopped. "How do you know I'm a mess?" She asked.

"Your hair is up in a pony-tail and you're wearing that stupid t-shirt Peyton gave you in high school. Your hair's never in a ponytail unless you're stressed and that t-shirt, even through blurred vision, is hideous."

She sat up and put her face right up in his. "You can see?" She asked in bewilderment.

He nodded. "It's blurry, but it's coming back."

"Open your eyes." She instructed as she kept her face right next to his.

"Back up first." He laughed.

"You can tell how close I am?"

"Yeah, but I can also feel you breathing on my face." He smiled.

"Open your eyes, then." She said as she backed up.

Once he felt her no longer breathing on him, he made himself open his eyes. Everything was blurry including Brooke but he could tell she was smiling. "See? I can see."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" She asked as she held up her hand.

"Three." He smiled.

She squealed. "You really can see!" She exclaimed as she hugged him.

"I missed seeing your beautiful face." He said before kissing her.

She smiled as she pulled away from him and giggled when he pulled her back into the kiss. This was what she missed. She missed being his girlfriend but now things were back to the way they were before the accident. She knew he still had a long way to go, he still hadn't mentioned Megan or the baby but she knew it was only a matter of time before he brought it up. As she lay in his arms in their bed and closed her eyes, she had a feeling that tonight she wouldn't have a problem trying to fall asleep and that, she decided, was a good feeling to have.

--

Review please!


	13. Kill

Chapter Thirteen: Kill 

It sat on the mantle. Every time he or she walked in the house no matter how much they would fight it their eyes would go straight to it. She knew it wasn't going to stay there forever but she also knew she couldn't take care of it by herself. He wasn't ready to do it yet but it had been almost two weeks since their lives had gone back to normal and her parents showed up with it. They handed him the urn full of Megan and their unborn child's ashes and left. Brooke remembered how Julian just stood there dumbfounded as Megan's parents walked away without saying a word. She herself wondered how Megan's parents could just abandon her like that; she was their child, their own flesh and blood and they just handed her off to Julian like she was a plate of cookies.

That had been two weeks ago and she still couldn't make sense of what had happened. She sat in the living room and stared at the urn on her mantle while she was supposed to be working on sketches for the new line. Against her wishes Julian had left earlier that morning to scout out some local locations for one of movies. She still worried about him and she panicked that the blindness would all of a sudden return when he was driving home or walking down the street. That's how her life was now. She lived in fear for Julian's life and even though she knew the chances of the blindness returning was slim to none she couldn't help but worry about him. He still hadn't talked to her about the accident or about the fact that Megan and his child were killed and that worried her just as much as the blindness returning. He was getting better at letting her in but he had perfected blocking things out, just like she had, from an early age. As different as they were on the exterior they were the same right down to the core.

--

"So," Lucas said as he and Jess walked down the barren streets of Tree Hill, hand in hand. "This is our last night together before you go back to LA."

Jess nodded sadly. "I don't want to go back."

"I don't want you to either but we're going to make this work. The next two weeks will fly by and before you know it I'll be in LA and we'll pick up right where we left off." He assured her.

She stopped walking and let go of his hand. "What's up Jess?" Lucas asked as he looked at her quizzically.

"I need to tell you something before I leave." She said softly as she continued to stare at the cracks in the pavement.

Lucas stepped closer and put his fingers beneath her chin as he lifted it up so she was looking him in the eye. "What is it?"

She glanced around the empty streets as she wiped a few tears from her face. Lucas wiped some away with his thumb as he became more nervous. He could tell that whatever she had to tell him was tearing her up inside. "Jess, you can tell me." He said softly as he cradled her head in his hand.

She nodded. "Remember when you asked me about my previous boyfriends that day in the diner?"

Lucas nodded.

"I've only had one boyfriend my entire life and—and…" Her voice became teary and she stopped as she tried to stop the tears that were bound to fall from her eyes. "I killed him."

--

Brooke groaned as she glanced over at the clock in the kitchen. Julian said he would be home around twelve and it was now two. The anxiousness began to set in even more so she flicked on the television to help take her mind off of it. A wave of relief washed over her when she heard the front door open but when she turned toward it she didn't see Julian.

"Hey Brooke." Peyton smiled as she shut the door behind her. "How are you doing?"

She sighed. "Okay."

Peyton sat down beside her on the couch. "What's wrong?"

"Is it normal for me to constantly worry about him?" She asked. "I'm petrified that he's going to go blind again while he's driving home or that it'll happen when he's walking down the street and then he'll get so disoriented that he'll walk into the middle of the street and get hit by a car. Or that he doesn't go blind again but he gets into another car accident but this time he doesn't make it. Or that he'll—"

"Brooke," Peyton interrupted. "Don't do this to yourself."

"How can I not though, Peyton? He's way better than before but he's never home anymore because he's at the office working on a new movie. Sam's always with Jack, you have Mike and Connor, Jess is out gallivanting with Lucas all the time and she leaves tomorrow morning. Haley and Nathan are busy with Sarah and my mom has a boyfriend now that occupies all of her free time. I'm stuck here all alone so I can't help but let my mind wander to those stupid what if situations with Julian."

"You're not stuck here. You're more than welcome to come over to my place and hang out with me so you have a distraction from all your crazy thoughts." She smiled.

Brooke smiled before hugging Peyton. "You're a really good friend, you know that?" She noticed Peyton's disposition suddenly change. "What's going on, Peyt?"

"I came over here for a reason." She said as she avoided eye contact with her best friend. "I need to tell you something but I'm scared of how you're going to react but I figured it's better if you hear it from me rather than someone else so I just have to tell you but I just don't want to hurt you—"

"Peyton." Brooke said warily. "What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant."

Brooke smiled. "That's great!" She exclaimed.

"Brooke, you don't have to pretend." Peyton said as she placed her hand on Brooke's knee.

Brooke shook her head. "I'm not pretending. I'm really happy for you and Mike." She continued to smile. "How long have you known?"

"About a month and a half?" She estimated. "I wasn't feeling well for a while so I went to the doctor only to find out I was pregnant." She smiled as she placed her hand on her flat stomach.

"It was a surprise?" Brooke asked.

Peyton nodded. "I didn't really want another child but the moment I found out I was pregnant again I couldn't imagine my life without another baby."

Brooke smiled at Peyton. "Just give me a minute, okay?" She asked as she got up from the couch.

"Brooke!" Peyton called as she watched her walk toward the bathroom. She heard her shut the door and lock it behind her.

She leaned against the door and sank down onto the floor with tears in her eyes. She reached into her pocket for her cell phone and pressed his name before holding the phone up against her ear. "Can you come home?" She cried softly when he finally picked up.

--

Lucas searched her eyes for a former clarity. "What do you mean you killed him?" He asked warily.

"I killed him." She repeated.

"Jess, you have to elaborate." He begged. "Tell me what happened."

She nodded over toward a bench on the sidewalk before leading Lucas to it. They both sat down, his hand still wrapped around hers, as he waited for her to explain.

"It was my junior year of college and we had been together since high school." She smiled. "He was the greatest guy, funny, charming, athletic, smart, he was everything I wanted in a boyfriend so when he proposed after the Junior Ball of course I said yes. My parents weren't too pleased that I was engaged so young or about the fact that I planned on marrying him just a month later but they warmed up to the idea when they saw how happy he made me. He practically lived at my house while we were growing up but we didn't become romantically involved until our senior year of high school. He and Julian were best friends and Julian always used to joke that if Will, that was his name by the way, if he ever broke my heart Julian would break his face." She smiled to herself before continuing. "So we started our senior year of college happily married and still in wedded bliss. In November we found out I was pregnant and he was so happy but I was scared. I was only twenty-one years old and even though I was married I was in no way ready to have a baby." Lucas could tell she was struggling with telling him about her past so he comforted her by rubbing her back and telling her it was okay. "I went and got an abortion while he was in class one Thursday afternoon. He found out when I called him to come and pick me up at the clinic after the procedure was done and you can only imagine how upset he was with me. He refused to drive me home so I called my roommate to come get me." She leaned into Lucas' embrace and began to cry harder on his shoulder. "He was on his way back to get me when he lost control of his car and crashed into a telephone pole. Will died on impact, Luke, and I killed him." She sobbed.

Lucas felt goose bumps engulf his entire body once she finished telling him about her past. No wonder she had been so hesitant to tell him about her previous relationships, she felt responsible for her husband's death. Husband. That was another thing she probably worried Lucas was judge her on along with the fact that she had an abortion. "You didn't kill him, Jess." He whispered into her hair as he hugged her. "You're not responsible for what happened that day."

She shook her head. "Even though it happened almost six years ago not a day goes by where I don't think about what happened. He wouldn't have been on that road if I hadn't gotten an abortion, he wouldn't be dead if I hadn't been so selfish—"

"Jess, look at me." Lucas commanded as he pulled out of her embrace. She watched as she lifted her head and slowly brought her eyes to meet his. "You're not responsible for Will's death." He said it slowly so he was sure she would hear him. "Do you understand? You can't continue to hold yourself accountable for this, I'm not going to let you."

Jess nodded as she blinked away her tears. She smiled as Lucas wiped the ones that were on her cheeks away with his thumb. "I don't want to leave." She whispered.

He pulled her close and kissed her hair. "I don't want you to leave either."

--

He barged through the front door and just like always, his eyes went to the urn sitting on the mantle. His vision then shifted to Peyton who was pacing back and forth in the living room. "I'm so sorry." She said when she saw him.

"Where is she?" He asked as he looked around for her.

Peyton nodded toward the bathroom, she watched as he darted down the short hallway. "She's been in there for a while." She called after him.

He knocked gently on the door. "Brooke, sweetheart, it's me. Can you open the door?" He heard the door unlock followed by her shifting her position. He carefully pushed the door open to reveal her with her legs pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them and her head down in her lap, crying. "It's okay." He whispered as he sat down beside her after closing the door. "You're okay." He soothed. She scooted closer to him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"She's pregnant." She said as she looked up at him with bloodshot eyes.

Julian sighed as he leaned back. It all made sense now. Why she called him in tears, why she locked herself in the bathroom, whey Peyton apologized the second he walked in the door, it all made sense.

Brooke wiped her eyes. "She said they didn't even plan on getting pregnant." She said as she shook her head.

Julian turned to face her. "Are you upset that she's having a baby?"

"She's my best friend. She's in a stable relationship with a man who loves her so it's only natural for them to have a baby together. I can't be mad at her for something she can't control. She's supposed to get pregnant. _I'm _supposed to get pregnant." She said softly.

Julian nodded unsure of what to say next.

"I can't be mad or hurt or sad or angry because I'm supposed to be happy for her and I am, I really am happy for her, but if I keep suppressing my feelings then there's going to come a day when everything that I've bottled up explodes and I don't want that to happen. I'm not mad at her…I'm mad at myself." She said.

"You didn't do anything wrong so you can't be mad at yourself. I know you're upset and you haven't had time to deal with this properly because you get the news right after you were raped then we find out Megan's pregnant and then she dies and I go blind. All of us have expected you to be the pillar of strength that we can all lean on and come to with our problems but we all failed to see how badly you were hurting and struggling with this revelation and for that I am so sorry, Brooke." He said as he held her in his arms.

"How did we become so broken?" She asked after they had sat in the silence for a long while.

He shook his head. "No one said life would be easy."

--

"So," Sam asked as she leaned back on the couch. "What are your intentions with Victoria?"

The man shifted uncomfortably on the loveseat.

"I mean, you've been seeing her for almost a month now so there's got to be something special there or else this thing wouldn't have lasted as long as it has. You're not just going out with her for sex, right?"

His face turned red as he shook his head.

Sam scribbled a few words down on her notepad before glancing back up at him. "David, you can talk to me, you know. I'm trying to get to know you here."

"You're just kind of intimidating." David shrugged.

Sam smiled in a satisfied manner. "Where are you taking her tonight?"

"Out to dinner and then to a movie."

Sam laughed. "David, come on. That's so common and boring! You need something fun and exciting."

David leaned forward. "What do you suggest?"

"Take her some place totally unexpected. Do something you normally wouldn't do, like try rock climbing or something." She grinned.

David laughed. "Where would one go rock climbing in North Carolina in March?"

"Well maybe not rock climbing but something fun and unexpected. You need to take your relationship to the next level before she gets bored." Sam said as she placed her notepad down on the coffee table. David glanced over at it to see that she really hadn't written anything down, she had just doodled Jack's name all over the page. He smiled to himself.

"David?" Victoria's voice echoed down the hall. "Is that you I hear?"

David stood up when he saw her enter the family room. "You look stunning." He said as he gave her the once over.

Victoria blushed. "Thank you."

"Now, go change." He ordered.

Sam chuckled, as she remained seated on the couch.

"Excuse me?" Victoria asked. "I spent the past hour trying to figure out what dress to wear and now you want me to change?"

David nodded. "Preferably into jeans and a sweatshirt."

Victoria stared at him. "I don't wear jeans or sweatshirts." She said in horror.

"Tonight you do." He smiled.

Victoria shook her head before turning and heading back upstairs to her bedroom to change.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Something fun and unexpected." He replied.

--

"Are you sure you have to go back?" Brooke pouted as she, Julian, Jess and Lucas stood on the curb just outside the airport.

Jess nodded. "I'll try and take some time off next month to come out and visit though."

"You've become like a sister to me, though. How am I supposed to go a month without seeing you?"

"You could come out and visit me." Jess shrugged.

"It's not the same as having you around every single day. Do you even have friends out in LA?"

Julian laughed as did Jess and Lucas. Jess nodded. "I _have_ lived out there for my entire life, I _have_ made friends."

"I'm going to miss you." Brooke said as she pulled Jess into a hug.

"I'll see you soon, though." Jess smiled as she hugged her back.

She smiled at Julian before hugging him after letting go of Brooke. "Break her heart and I'll break your face." Jess joked. Julian smiled as he held his sister in his arms. The last time either one of them had said that line was when he said it to Will back in high school when he and Jess first got together. "I love you." He said as he kissed the top of her head. "Take care of yourself." He added before letting go. Brooke led Julian back to the car so Jess could have a moment alone with Lucas.

"This is going to be a hard two weeks." She said as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Lucas nodded his head in agreement. "It will be but then we'll be back together again and it'll be great. We're going to make this work."

"I know we are." She nodded. "I really like you."

He smiled. "I really like you too."

She leaned closer so her lips were almost touching his. "I think I could really love you someday."

He leaned in and closed the small gap between their lips and kissed her. She deepened the kiss before pulling away after hearing Julian pounding on the car window. She laughed when she saw Brooke pull him away and mouthing 'sorry'.

"I think you would make me the happiest man in the world if you loved me someday." He smiled before kissing her again.

She pulled away a few seconds later. "I think I have to go." She said sadly.

He nodded. "I think you're right." He pulled her in for one more kiss before letting her go. He watched as she walked toward the airport doors pulling her suitcase behind her. He smiled when he saw her turn around and wink at him right before entering the airport.

"I think you're falling for her, Luke." Brooke smiled when he got back in the car.

Lucas leaned back comfortably in the back seat. "I already have." He smiled.

--

Sam was still at Victoria's condo when she and David returned. "So," She said as she placed her magazine down on the table. "What fun and exciting thing did you two do tonight?"

"David took me down to the boardwalk and we raced dune buggies on the beach. Then we went and played some fair games and he won me this big stuffed monkey," She lifted up the huge monkey she had managed to keep hidden. "Then we got some cotton candy and went on a few rides. It was great!" Victoria exclaimed. "Let me go put on a pot of coffee." She said as she rushed toward the kitchen.

Sam raised her eyebrows as David walked toward the loveseat. "Not exactly what I had in mind but I'm glad the two of you had fun." She smiled.

"It was great," David grinned. "It was the first time since we started seeing each other that we were able to let go and have fun."

Sam nodded. "That's what it's all about, my friend."

David laughed. "I like you, you know that?"

She shrugged. "Most people do."

--

They lay on the couch, her in his arms, watching a movie however; neither of their eyes were on the television screen. Rather, they were focused on the urn. She had had enough. She got up, picked up the urn and walked toward the back door. "Where are you going?" Julian asked as he got up and followed her.

"I can't stare at this thing anymore, Julian." She sighed as she placed it down on the back deck. "So until you figure out what you want to do with their ashes, it's going to stay out here on the deck."

"What if I never figure out what to do with them?" He asked as he stared down at the urn.

"Eventually you will." She shrugged.

"But what if I don't, Brooke?"

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" She asked softly. He remained silent but continued to stare down at the urn full of ashes. "It's been three weeks since the accident and I still have no idea what happened that day. I've tried to make sense of everything but it just doesn't add up. I've tried being patient but there comes a point where I just need to know so I can stop running all these possible scenarios through my head. I want to help you through this and as many times as you may say you're fine, I know you're not because you won't talk about Megan or your baby or what happened or how you're feeling. You can't be okay, Julian." She said as she reached for his hand. "Tell me what happened."

"Let's go inside and sit down." He said as he led her back in the house. "It's going to be a long night."

She smiled as she followed him back into the house. Finally, she was going to get the answers she had long since searched for.

--

Review Please!!


	14. Hear

Chapter Fourteen: Hear

Brooke shook her head. She still couldn't believe what he had told her. Tears had fallen from both of their eyes but neither one of them seemed to care. They both knew they were broken but it somehow felt better knowing the other felt the same way, it was easier in a way for them to heal if they were both broken together. They could lean on each other for support when times got tough. They knew that every day wasn't going to be sunshine and happiness. They knew they had a long road ahead of them but with each other they knew they were going to be able to get back to the better versions of themselves.

"Brooke," Julian said softly as he rubbed her leg that was draped across his lap. "What's on your mind?"

She stared blankly out the back door to where the urn still sat on the deck. "I just don't understand." She said as she shook her head.

"Neither do I." He responded. "And the part that sucks the most is that we'll never get the chance to have her explain to us why she did it."

**Flashback**

They had been driving to the hotel where Julian was going to drop Megan off before heading to the hospital to meet up with Brooke. Megan has been in a bad mood ever since the plane landed and Julian was trying his best to get her out of her funk. "Meg, come on. I'm trying here." He pleaded.

She continued to stare out the window as she pressed her forehead against the glass. "Why are you with her?"

He sighed. "Meg, please don't do this right now."

"Tell me." She said as she turned to face him. "Tell me why she's so much better than me."

He glanced over at her quickly before looking back at the road. "You really want to know?" He asked. Megan nodded. "She's the type of girl I've spent my entire life looking for. She's confident and smart, sexy, motherly, protective and funny yet she's insecure and self-conscious, childish, sarcastic and stubborn but that's why I love her. She's been burned before so she's extremely protective of her heart but once she opened up to me I realized how badly I needed her in my life and how badly she needed me in hers. I've never felt this way before." He smiled as he felt butterflies in his stomach.

"But she can't give you a family." Megan argued.

Julian turned to look at her again. "Don't go there." He warned.

She reached for his right hand, which was resting on the armrest and placed it on her belly. "That's your child in there." She said softly as she placed her hand on top of his. "I can give you a family, Julian."

He ripped his hand away and placed it on the wheel. "I don't need a child of my own with Brooke to be happy."

She sighed. "We both know that's not true. I saw how happy you got when you heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time; you're not going to get to experience that if you stay with Brooke."

"Why'd you make me bring you out here?" He asked. "Everyone out here despises you already for what you've done to my life with Brooke. Why did you make me take you with me?"

She shrugged. "I don't like being alone and I don't like the idea of you and Brooke being alone all the way across the country."

"She's my girlfriend, Megan!" He cried. "I'm supposed to be alone with her!"

"But I'm the mother of your child, Julian!" She argued. "We spent six incredible months together, we created a child together, can't you see we're meant to spend the rest of our lives with together?"

He shook his head. "I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with Brooke, not you."

"Julian." She said as she reached for his hand again.

"No," He said as he moved it away. "Why are you trying so hard to ruin what I have with Brooke? I love her and that's not going to change now or when you have my baby or even five years from now. I'm going to love Brooke for the rest of my life so stop playing your little game and stop asking me to justify my love for her." He said angrily. "And another reason why I love her so much," He paused and made eye contact with her. "She would never do what you've done for the past couple of months."

Megan huffed. "What have I done that's so bad?"

Julian threw one of his hands up. "Megan! Come on! Every single day you make it a point to rub it in her face that you're pregnant or you do what you're doing now: you're constantly trying to get me to leave her for you. It's not going to happen because I love her so fucking much."

"But I'm the mother of your child." She cried.

He nodded. "You are but that doesn't mean I have to love you. As far as I'm concerned you're just an egg donor to my child and once you give birth I'm going to fight like hell for custody."

"You can't do that." She said as she shook her head. "I won't let you."

"You really think the court is going to find you to be a responsible mother? You're a stripper, Megan! You have a drinking problem and you've been arrested three times for drug possession. You really think the court is going to decide in your favor?" He asked incredulously.

"I'm not letting you take my baby away from me!" She cried as tears began to pour down her face. "I won't let you!"

"_My_ baby will be better off with Brooke and me. We can provide a stable and loving environment which is something you'll never be able to—Megan!" He screamed as she reached across and pulled the wheel toward her. "Let go of the wheel!" He yelled as he fought against her and tried to pull it back.

"I'm not going to let you take my baby away from me and let Brooke play mommy!" She cried.

"Let go of the wheel!" He screamed. It was too late. Their car had crossed over three lanes of traffic on Riker's Hill before cascading down the hill as it flipped several times.

**End of Flashback**

"Who do you think she meant to kill that day?" Brooke asked quietly.

"Me." He answered.

She shook her head. "I just don't understand how she could do something like that. How could she be so selfish as to end a life like that?"

Julian wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her in his embrace. He smiled when he felt her nuzzle her head against his chest and waited for her to get comfortable before resting his chin on top of her head. "I don't know." He said simply. "But what's important is that I'm still here and I love you." He felt her nod against his chest.

"Do you miss her?" She asked.

"Megan?"

"Your daughter." Brooke corrected.

He shrugged. "I've been struggling."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "With what?"

"I feel like I should miss her because she was my daughter but at the same time I don't know if I should because I never met her. How can I miss someone I've never met?"

"Maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe she wasn't supposed to live in this world but up in heaven so she can watch over you. She'll always be your daughter and you'll go on for the rest of your life wondering what if she had survived and who she could have been in this world so even though you didn't get a chance to meet her here, she's waiting with open arms for you when you finally get to meet her up in heaven." Brooke said as she rubbed his arm.

He smiled at her before pulling her in for a kiss. "You're the best."

She giggled as he began to trail kisses down her neck. "We have the house to ourselves tonight." He whispered against her skin in between kisses.

"Yes we do." She smiled as she shifted out of his embrace and pushed him down on his back on the couch before straddling him. She proceeded to kiss him while she began to unbutton his shirt. "I love you." She moaned into his mouth.

He smiled as he pulled her dress up over her hips and over her head. "You're beautiful." He said as he sat up and cradled her head in his hands. She leaned back so he was on top of her this time. Then it was like deja-vu; the moment he went to unclasp her bra she started to squirm.

"Stop!" She yelled as she tried to push him off of her. "Don't touch me!"

He quickly got off of her and backed away from the couch giving her ample room to calm down. "You're okay," He said softly from a few feet away. "You're okay." He could see her body trembling as she reached for her dress that he had thrown onto the floor after taking it off of her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered once she made eye contact with him for the first time since her panic attack.

He carefully sat down beside her on the couch before wrapping her in his arms. "Don't be." He said into her hair.

"I know you're not going to hurt me like they did b-but I'm just sc-scared." Her voice was muffled against his shoulder but he heard her nonetheless.

He gently rubbed her back in an effort to get her to calm down. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. She had been attacked five months ago but she still hadn't talked to him about what had happened. She'd given him bits and pieces of information here and there but had never gone into detail and told him exactly what happened that night.

"I don't know how." She said softly as she nuzzled further into his embrace.

"Just start by telling me what happened that night." He encouraged.

She nodded as she inhaled deeply. "It was just like the first time. We were closed but the door wasn't locked so I turned around to tell whoever had just walked in that we were closed and that was when I saw them." She said as she shook her head.

"Saw who, Brooke?"

"Four men all with those ski mask things on. One of them said that it was better if we were closed because this way no one would be able to stop them." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I lied to you."

He shook his head in confusion. "About what?"

"They didn't beat me then rape me."

He looked at her unsure of what she meant. He had seen her body after the attack; she was definitely beaten by those men because there's no way she would have been able to inflict that kind of pain onto herself. "No," He cried once he finally pieced it all together. "Brooke, baby, I am _so_ sorry—"

"I should have told you sooner but I just didn't want you to get so upset that you'd end up doing something you'd regret. I told everyone I wasn't conscious while I was raped but that's not true; I was wide awake and terrified while each one of them took his turn raping me while the others cheered. It was just easier to say I wasn't…"

He sat on the couch with her in his arms unsure of what to say next. It all made sense as to why she started to panic every time he went to unclasp her bra, the last time someone did that to her was right before she was raped. "Who knows the truth?" He asked softly.

"Just you."

"Are you going to—"

She cut him off. "No and neither are you. I don't need another reason for people to feel bad for me for. You're the only person that needs to know the truth about what happened that night."

He nodded. He needed her to tell him what happened next but he was scared he'd end up pushing her too far and she'd shut down and close him out completely. "What happened once they finished?" He asked warily.

She shrugged. "All I remember is being hit over the head with something hard before everything went black. But I guess that was better than being able to feel them do what they did to me."

He stared at her quizzically.

She pulled the neckline of her dress down to expose her bra before pulling that down as well to reveal several cigarette burn marks on her breasts. "I didn't feel it." She assured him as she covered herself back up.

Julian quickly stood up and raced toward the bathroom. She followed him and knelt down by his side as he threw up all that was in his stomach. "How could they do that to you?" He asked as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She shrugged as she wet a paper towel before leaning in to wipe his mouth. "Why didn't you show me before tonight?"

She looked down at her lap, ashamed. "I didn't want you to see me like that. I don't like that it happened but it did and I can't change that. I don't want you to look at me differently now that you know. I knew that there was going to come a day when you'd see them but I just wasn't ready for today to be that day."

He reached for her hands and remained silent for a few minutes. "Are you sure you didn't feel it when they pushed their burning cigarette butts into your skin?"

She nodded. "I was unconscious by that point."

He leaned across the bathroom floor and pulled her into his arms. "Well, thank god for that."

--

"Well," Peyton sighed as she plopped down on the couch next to Mike after finally getting Connor to fall asleep. "She hates me now."

"Who does?" He asked as he put the newspaper he was reading down. Peyton always thought it was funny that he read the daily newspaper in the evening rather than the morning like most people did.

"Brooke."

"You finally told her?"

She nodded. "Earlier today and she seemed fine with it at first but then I got carried away and started getting giddy about the whole situation which led to her locking herself in the bathroom. Julian had to come home in order to coax her out, Mike."

He reached for her hands before placing both of theirs against her stomach. "Don't feel guilty for being pregnant. You deserve to be happy about this and with time she'll get over it. I'm sure she was surprised about the news just like we were but she's going to come around. You're her best friend; she can only stay mad at you for so long." He smiled.

Peyton pushed his hands off of her. "She shouldn't have to 'get over it', Mike. She has a right to be upset with me. I can honestly say that if the roles were reversed, I'd be pissed. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through right now and I feel terrible that the main reason I told her was because I was afraid she'd find out from someone else. You weren't there when we were fifteen years old and promised each other that we'd get pregnant together when we were older and raise our kids up to be best friends like us. You weren't there today when I had to tell her I was pregnant and we both realized that that promise would never come true. I don't feel guilty for being pregnant, I feel guilty that she'll never get to be."

--

"What do you think about meatloaf?" Haley asked as they laid in bed together.

Nathan groaned as he turned over to face her. "I think you should put that cookbook away and go to sleep."

"Nate, we're having everyone over in three days and I have yet to figure out what to make for dinner. It would be nice if you would help."

"Can't you ask me tomorrow when I'm awake and refreshed instead of tired and irritable?"

She shook her head. "No because tomorrow when I wake up I'm going grocery shopping."

"Fine, what about spaghetti and meatballs?"

She sighed. "That's kind of boring."

"It's Julian and Jamie's favorite meal." He offered.

She shrugged. "I do make pretty good homemade meatballs."

He nodded.

"I guess I could do that."

Nathan smiled as he leaned over and turned the light off. "Great. Now that we've decided what to make we can finally sleep well tonight."

Haley laughed as she cuddled up next to him. "I've been thinking."

"That's never a good sign."

Haley smacked his arm. "Hey!"

He laughed as he kissed the top of her head. "I'm just kidding. What's on your mind?"

"What would happen to the kids if something ever happened to us?" She asked as she lazily drew circles on his arm.

"That's kind of dark and morbid, don't you think?" He asked as he sat up and leaned his head on his arm.

She shook her head. "It's real life, Nathan. And I was talking to Chuck's mom the other day when I picked Jamie up and she said that it's a good idea to have a will drawn up. You know, figure out who'd get what if something ever happened."

"This is what you talk about when you pick our son up from school? And here I thought all you ladies talked about was who was going to run the next PTA bake sale." He laughed.

"Nathan, come on, I'm serious about this. Who would you want to give Sarah and Jamie to if something happened to us?"

He sighed deeply as he ran his hand over his face and through his short hair. "I don't know, Hales. Who do you think would be the best for them? Who would be able to get them through the toughest time of their life?"

"Either Brooke or Lucas?" She shrugged. "They are their godparents."

"It sucks that they're not a couple because that would make the decision so much easier." He sighed.

Haley nodded. "I mean Brooke's great with them. She's like their second mother and she would be devastated if Lucas took them away from her."

Nathan shook his head. "Where would Luke be taking our children?"

"If he and Jess ever end up married I'm sure he'd move out to California since that's where her practice is."

Nathan laughed. "They just started dating and you're already planning their wedding. You're unbelievable."

"You never know." She smiled. "But then there's Lucas who's equally as great with them and he's your brother—"

"But she's like a sister to me." He said referring to Brooke. "How are we supposed to choose between the two of them?"

"I don't know." She said as she shook her head. "Who do you think would be able to make them feel better if they had a bad day at school? Who would make sure dinner was on the table and homework was done every night? Who would be able to make sure they never forgot about us? Who would be the better parent?"

--

"What made you fall for her? Was it her bitchy attitude or her self-absorbed nature?" Brooke asked as she laid in Julian's arms in their bed. She had since moved the urn back into the house and placed it back on the mantle, she knew what she had wanted to know so it was okay to have it back there. Julian had opened up and that was all she had ever asked for.

"She was a nice person before, believe it or not." He smiled. "I don't know. I guess I was just really upset about our relationship and I needed someone to fill that void you left in my life."

"I wish I knew the nice version of her." She said quietly. "I probably would have liked her."

Julian shook his head. "No you wouldn't have. She was just a girl who I met at a strip club and had meaningless sex with because I was so upset over losing you."

"Don't say that." She begged.

"Say what?"

"That you had meaningless sex with her. Sex always means something whether you want to admit it or not. Someone always ends up hurt because of it."

"Why are you defending her?"

"I'm not. I'm just speaking from personal experience." She said as she looked up at him. "Yeah, I was the girl who slept around in high school and not a day goes by where I wish that wasn't who I was but I was _that_ girl and there's nothing I can do to change it now. I regret giving myself away so freely to all the boys but that was the one thing I thought I was good at back in high school. Peyton had her art, Nathan and Lucas had basketball, Haley had school and I had boys and sex. I was the idiot who ended up hurt as a result of meaningless sex."

He cradled her head in his hands. "You are not an idiot, Brooke."

She blinked her eyes in an effort to keep tears from forming. "I'm scared." She said as she willed herself to look anywhere but in his eyes.

"Of what?"

"Of never being able to be intimate with you."

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You will be and I'll wait until forever if I have to."

"That's not right though. They took my life and turned it into a nightmare; I hate them for what they did to me, for who they made me become. I shouldn't be scared of letting you touch me but I am; I'm absolutely petrified, Julian."

He didn't say anything simply because he didn't know _what_ to say. Were there even words in the English language that would make her feel better or safer? He didn't think there were. He had hated those men before for what they did to her but after seeing the burns and hearing her open up about what really happened he hated them even more. Listening to her talk about how she was fully aware of what they were doing to her and how they took turns and cheered each other on disgusted him. She was pinned down so there was no chance of her being able to fight back which meant she laid on the floor helplessly as those four men took turns raping her. "We're going to get through this." He said softly as he held her in his arms. He knew it sounded trite and cliché but he also knew it was exactly what she needed to hear.

--

Review please!!


	15. Defy

Chapter Fifteen: Defy

"Are you sure?" Peyton asked for the tenth time as she spoke to Julian on the phone. "Alright, I'll be over in ten minutes." She sighed.

"Peyton's on her way over." Julian said as he walked into the kitchen where Brooke was making herself a cup of tea. She turned and stared at him with a panicked look.

"What am I supposed to say to her, Julian?" She asked. "You could have given me a little more time than just ten minutes to figure this out, you know. What am I supposed to say?"

He smiled as he shook his head. "You need to calm down." He said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "She's your best friend and dinner tonight is going to be awkward enough with Haley and Peyton hating each other so I think you and Peyton should be on better terms so everyone's not feuding at the dinner table. The last thing we need is for this to tear the three of you apart even more, remember when you guys were inseparable?"

Brooke nodded. "That was before Peyton cheated on Lucas and Haley flipped out on her for ruining their marriage."

"Right," He agreed. "Don't you want to get back to being best friends again?"

She shrugged. "I kind of like the two of them hating each other. They're both super nice to me because they want me on their side."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Brooke, come on, I know you miss those days."

"It's just hard. I mean I can't get them to make up if they're not willing to do it themselves. Peyton thinks she did nothing wrong and Haley thinks she did everything wrong. How am I supposed to fix them?" She sighed as she sank down on the couch just as the doorbell rang. "That was so not ten minutes!" She exclaimed as Julian noticed the panicked look return to her face.

He got up to answer the door but before he did, he turned to face her to tell her to stay calm and she would be just fine. "Peyton," He greeted as he opened the door. "How've you been?"

"Good," She smiled.

Julian nodded. "That's great." He reached for his coat hanging next to the door. "Well, I'll let you two talk." And with that, he shut the door behind him as he walked toward his car in the driveway.

Brooke stood in the living room dumbfounded. She thought he was going to at least stay at the house and go in a back bedroom or something, she didn't think he was going to leave her all alone with Peyton.

"Brooke," Peyton said cautiously when she saw the worried look on her best friend's face. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head as she sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to her. Peyton walked over and sat down beside her unsure of what to do next.

"I'm sorry." They both blurted out before laughing.

"You shouldn't be apologizing. You did nothing wrong." Brooke said.

"I got pregnant." Peyton said as she looked down at her stomach. "And by doing that I hurt you."

Brooke shook her head. "You're supposed to get pregnant, you're supposed to be happy about it, and this is what you're supposed to do, Peyt."

"But—"

"But nothing. I overreacted the other day and I'm so sorry for making you feel guilty about something that's so natural. I thought I was okay with it, you know? I was around Haley the entire time she was pregnant with Sarah and I didn't feel jealous but then when I found out about you…I don't know."

Peyton reached for Brooke's hand. "It's going to take a long time for you to get used to not being able to have kids but that doesn't mean you're not going to make a great mother someday. You're so great with Sam, Brooke."

"Thanks." She smiled. "But that's not why."

Peyton tilted her head to the side. "Then what is?"

Brooke looked up at her with watery eyes. "I never made a promise with Haley."

"Oh, Brooke." She sighed as she pulled her into a hug. Brooke remained in her embrace for a few minutes before pulling out.

"I need to stop this." She said as she wiped her eyes. "I can't keep dwelling in this because I'm never going to be able to move forward."

Peyton smiled. "That's the Brooke Davis I know and love, and besides, you've overcome the odds before."

"How so?"

She laughed. "You're kidding, right? Brooke, you made it in the fashion industry, you're a celebrity. You had a one in a million shot at becoming who you are today and you did it because that's just who you are. You don't care what the odds are against you, you'll go to the ends of the earth just to prove everyone wrong, and I envy that."

Brooke stared at her. "You envy _me?_"

Peyton nodded. "I wouldn't have the willpower to keep proving people wrong nor the stamina to be the strong person you are. But even with all the fame and money that's come your way you've still maintained to stay grounded. You live in the same town you grew up in, you live in a modest house, you still shop at Target and you have a hard time paying for anything that costs more than fifty dollars because you feel like you don't deserve it when there are so many people who are less fortunate. You have a heart, Brooke, a big heart."

Brooke wiped her eyes. "Stop making me cry!" She laughed. "And, Peyt, you're an amazing woman too."

"Not as amazing as you." She argued.

Brooke laughed. "We're not seriously going to fight over who's the better person are we?"

Peyton shrugged. "It'd be you no matter what."

"Stop saying that! You're a phenomenal mother, an amazing friend, and an awesome girlfriend to Mike. Stop selling yourself short, Peyt."

"But look at the people you have behind you, supporting you. You have Julian who would do absolutely anything in his power to make you happy and who loves you like no one has ever loved you before. I can see it in the way he looks at you and in the way he'll touch you ever so subtly, it was never like that for me when I was with him. I can feel the love between you guys and it makes me so happy to see you so happy and in love with him." She smiled. "Then there's Sam, good ole' Sam. You've had so much of an impact on her in the past year it's ridiculous. Who would have thought that the girl who stole from you would end up becoming your daughter? She's grown into this beautiful young woman inside and out because of you, Brooke. She's there to protect you from everything this world throws your way because she loves you and cares about you. You made her feel comfortable for once in her life and by doing so you've helped Jack grow into a man. You know his home life isn't peaches and cream so you help out whenever you can and although he may not mention it that means the world to him." She stopped when she saw Brooke shaking her head. "What?" She asked.

"I just can't believe all that you're saying." Brooke shrugged.

"Well believe it because it's all true." Peyton smiled. "Now let me continue. Who's next? Oh, of course, Nathan and Haley. Both of them hate me for ruining Lucas' life but they love you. Nathan's always thought of you as the sister he never had. You two grew up with parents who cared more about themselves and appearances than their own children which caused you to grow up in a household where love was scarce and family was never there. Nathan is constantly looking out for you, Brooke. He hates seeing you hurt or in pain because he loves you so damn much. And Haley, sweet, innocent Haley…" She rolled her eyes at Brooke when she saw her face warning her to be nice. "As much as I may hate her for blaming me, I know that she's a wonderful friend to you. She's the one you go to when you need someone to empathize with you and tell you that you're strong and you're going to make it through whatever you're facing because you're Brooke freaking Davis." She smiled hoping that her description of Haley was nice enough for Brooke. "You even have Lucas in your corner. I know he hurt you back in high school and so did I but the relationship the two of you had can't be ignored. Everyone seems to want to forget about the fact that you two were together and for the life of me I can't understand why. He changed you into the better version of yourself, the person you still are today and that can't be ignored. He wants you to succeed Brooke, he wants you to be happy and I'm willing to bet he'd do whatever it takes to make you happy again. Your mom is another one who's willing to do anything for you. She may not have been there while you were growing up but she's here now and that's got to mean something, right? She cares about you more than anything in this world and that's all you've ever wanted from her. You've always craved her love and now you have it. And the last person I'm going to mention because we both know this could go on for hours is Jess. She's the one person that can make all your dreams of having a child come true. She wants to see you be pregnant just as much as I want to. Let her help you, Brooke, let her make your dream come true."

Brooke shook her head. "How do you know all this?"

"I see it." She shrugged. "Everyone that knows you loves you and wants to see you happy because it's what you deserve. You've been put through enough shit that you deserve to be happy for once. Nathan and Haley found happiness, I've found it, Jess and Luke have found it, and Sam's found it, even your mom has found it! It's your turn, Brooke; it's your turn to be the one that gets everything they've ever wished for."

Brooke pulled Peyton into a hug and laughed. "You keep making me cry!" She laughed.

"Well at least they're happy tears this time." Peyton smiled.

Brooke nodded in agreement. "Jess said there was nothing that she could do though."

"Did you not listen to a word I just said? You overcome odds, Brooke Davis. It's what you do. Look at all that you've accomplished so far in your life, a baby really isn't that far out of reach as you may think it is." Peyton said.

--

"Do you think she really wants me there or she was just pressured into inviting me since everyone and their brother is going?" Peyton asked as she riffled through the clothes that hung in Brooke's closet a little while later.

Brooke groaned from the bathroom where she was toweling off her hair. "Maybe she's just taking the high road. Maybe she wants to bury the hatchet with you for once. Stop over thinking tonight."

"Or maybe she's planning on humiliating me in front of everyone." Peyton shrugged. "Ever thought of that?"

Brooke sighed as she stood in the doorway. "Haley's not that kind of a person, Peyt."

"You _would_ defend her." She snorted.

"I'm not defending anyone. I've done a pretty damn good job of staying neutral in this whole fight and I'm tired of it. This whole thing has gone on way too long, I mean aren't you tired of fighting?" Brooke asked.

Peyton shrugged. "I'm not the one who started it."

"Peyton, come on!" Brooke groaned. "Stop acting like a five-year-old! You're both equally at fault so don't say you didn't start this, you're the one who had an affair while married to Lucas."

Peyton avoided eye contact with her as she stared down at the floorboards.

Brooke instantly regretted her choice of words when she saw the hurt expression on Peyton's face. "I'm sorry." She muttered.

"No, don't be. You're right, I ruined everything between me and Luke and I regret what I did every damn day." Peyton said softly.

"But I thought you said you were happy with Mike?" Brooke said as she shook her head.

Peyton walked toward Brooke's bed and sat down, Brooke followed. "I am." Peyton nodded. "I just think about how badly I hurt Lucas and I feel terrible for that. I know I didn't physically cheat on him but in a way I think what I did was worse."

Brooke wrapped her arms around her now crying best friend. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you what you did was right because it wasn't but I'm also not going to lecture you on what you did because that's unfair. You made a choice between trying to work things out with your husband or starting over with someone new. You chose Mike for a reason, Peyton."

"Do you think I made the right choice?" Peyton asked as she laid her head on Brooke's shoulder.

"Only you know the answer to that, Peyt." Brooke said softly.

--

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie exclaimed as she walked through his front door. "I've been waiting for you for forever!"

Brooke smiled. "I'm sorry buddy but Julian took forever to get ready." She said. In reality it was actually her who had taken forever to get ready but she liked placing the blame on Julian, she hated disappointing her godson. She also got a kick out of the banter between Julian and Jamie she knew was about to ensue.

"Julian!" Jamie whined. "Don't you know five o'clock means five o'clock? And it's five-fifteen! You're fifteen minutes late!" He exclaimed. "And you don't even look that great!"

Julian feigned hurt as he clutched his chest. "That really hurts, bud. I try and pick out a nice outfit for dinner tonight and all you do is moan and complain when I show up."

Jamie shrugged. "Sorry, but it's the truth."

"Well, then I guess me and Aunt Brooke should probably go some place else for dinner. I mean, I don't want you to lose your appetite at the dinner table because you think my outfit is so ugly and disgusting." Julian said as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" Jamie cried.

Julian and Brooke smiled as they turned around.

"Aunt Brooke, do you like Julian's outfit?" He asked.

Brooke nodded as she wrapped her arm around his waist. "I think he looks very handsome."

Jamie looked at Julian's outfit again. "I guess it's not _that_ bad."

"I'm so glad I have the fashion approval of a seven year old." Julian smiled.

"C'mon, Aunt Brooke, mommy and me want to show you something!" Jamie exclaimed as he pulled Brooke away from Julian and into the house. Julian remained in the foyer and smiled as he watched Jamie drag Brooke further into the house and up the staircase. Sam and Jack had disappeared into the house already so Julian decided to find someone to talk to.

"Julian!" Nathan greeted when he saw him enter the kitchen. "How are you, man?"

"I'm doing well, how 'bout yourself?"

"Great, where's Brooke?"

Julian smiled. "Jamie said he and Haley had something to show her. Are we the first ones here?" He asked as he glanced around the empty house.

Nathan nodded. "Haley's up in the nursery with Sarah and everyone else should be here in a little while. We asked you guys to come a little earlier than everyone else." He said as he offered Julian a beer.

Julian took the beer. "How come?"

"Haley wanted to talk to Brooke about something and I wanted to talk to you." Nathan said as he leaned against the counter.

--

"Momma! Aunt Brooke's here!" Jamie yelled once they were upstairs.

Haley rushed into the hallway with her finger pressed up against her lips. "Jamie, sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your voice down? Sarah's trying to sleep."

"I'm sorry. She just sleeps all the time." He said sadly.

Brooke crouched down to his level. "I know you don't like her now because all she seems to do is eat, sleep and poop but I promise she's going to get better. You're going to get to play with her all the time, run through the sprinkler, and teach her basketball, all sorts of fun things. She just needs to get a little bigger and she'll get bigger faster if you let her get all the sleep she needs, okay buddy?"

Jamie nodded his head. "I don't know if I should teach her how to play basketball, though. Basketball is only for boys."

Brooke laughed. "Girls can play too, but if you want I can teach her how to cheer you on from the sidelines. How does that sound?"

Jamie's eyes lit up. "She can be like my own personal cheerleader!"

"Exactly!" Brooke smiled. "But she just needs to get a little bigger first."

"Okay." Jamie grinned.

"Jamie, why don't you go feed Chester? I think he's feeling a little abandoned lately." Haley suggested prompting a curious glance from Brooke.

"You don't have to tell me to go do something, momma. I know you want to talk to Aunt Brooke without me around. I'm seven, I can get the hint." He said before walking down the hall toward his bedroom.

"What's up?" Brooke asked as she followed Haley into the nursery where Sarah was sleeping. "Where's everyone else?"

"We asked you and Julian to come over a little earlier than everyone else. I have to ask you something." She said as she leaned down to pick her daughter up. "Do you want to hold her?"

Brooke nodded as she sat down in the rocking chair. She smiled at the tiny little girl in her arms as she continued to sleep. "What is it?" She asked softly, not taking her eyes of Sarah.

"Now, don't panic when I ask you this. It's just I need to do this for my kids, nothing is going to happen to us, though okay?" Haley said as she leaned against the wall and folded her arms. She knew she had made Brooke nervous because she could see her face beginning to pale. "Nathan and I want you to be the legal guardian of Jamie and Sarah if, god forbid, something were to happen to us."

Brooke stared at her in disbelief, her head was spinning. "Ha-Haley, are you sure? I-I mean, don't you think there's someone better qualified than me?"

Haley shook her head. "You're so great with them; you're like their second mom. You're going to be the one that's going to make sure they're okay if something ever did happen. You would make them feel better if they had a bad day at school, you'd make sure homework was done and dinner was on the table every single night. You would make damn sure they would never, ever forget about me and Nathan. You would be an amazing with them, Brooke." Haley smiled. "And seeing you just a few minutes ago with Jamie talking about Sarah cemented my feeling that I made the right choice. I trust you the most with the two things in this world that matter the most to me."

Brooke stared at her with tears in her eyes. "What am I supposed to say to that?" She cried.

"Say that you'll do it."

She glanced down at the little girl in her arms and then back up at Haley. "I'll do it." She said softly.

Haley smiled. "Thank you."

"But if something happens to you, I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. I can't lose you and Nathan, you two mean everything to me."

Haley smiled. "We're not going anywhere."

"Good." Brooke said as she noticed Sarah starting to wake up.

Haley laughed a little when she saw the frightened look on Brooke's face. "It's okay. Just rock her back and forth and tell her she's okay. I'm going to go get a bottle for her." She said as she got up and left the room.

--

Julian fidgeted in the kitchen. Nathan had said he needed to talk to him but he had yet to say anything which had made Julian very nervous. "You know I love Brooke." Nathan finally said. Julian nodded. "And I know I've said this before but she's like a sister to me. When she's hurt, I'm hurt, when she's happy; so am I. That's the way it's always been, I care about her so much it hurts, Julian and that's why I can't stand to watch her get hurt any longer. She's been through enough shit in the past few years of her life that she can no longer see all that she has going for her. She needs help to realize that she's smart and beautiful and successful and that absolutely kills me because there was a time in her life when she knew that. She knew she was great but now she doubts herself and she shouldn't, she shouldn't have to be reassured that she's smart and beautiful and successful and loved. But her one saving grace is that she has you. You make her happy, you make her feel loved and beautiful and that's what's important. Love has been something Brooke's always been afraid of because she's been burned by it so badly in the past but with you it's different. She's not afraid anymore because of you, she's managed to let her guard down and open up to you which is huge, she trusts you. You've helped her realize she's a great woman; you're helping her get back to the way she used to be. She doesn't need anything else in her life as long as she has you by her side and all of us behind her and with your help she's going to realize that. She's going to realize that we all want her to succeed in whatever she puts her mind to; we want her to be happy."

Julian nodded at Nathan's words. He knew Brooke and Nathan were close but as he listened to him speak he realized how much Nathan cared about her. The way he spoke with such conviction and truth, the way he emphasized certain words all displayed just how much he loved her. "I want her to be happy too." Julian said simply. "That's all I've ever wanted for her."

"Hey!" Haley exclaimed as she ran into the kitchen. "Follow me upstairs very quietly. I want you to see something." She said as she quickly warmed up a bottle of formula for Sarah.

The three of them tiptoed up the staircase and down the hall toward the nursery where Brooke was with Sarah. Haley had left the door open a little so she could watch Brooke's interaction with her daughter. "Look," She whispered as she pointed into the nursery. Julian, Nathan and Haley all watched as Brooke walked around the room with Sarah in her arms.

"Shhh, its okay baby girl," She cooed. "Mommy's going to be back soon with a nice warm bottle." Sarah continued to fuss. "Come on, stop crying for Aunt Brooke. Do you like songs?" They watched from the doorway as Brooke waited for a response from Sarah. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away." Brooke sung softly as she rocked Sarah gently in her arms and to her surprise she stopped crying. "You liked that?" Brooke smiled. "You're a silly girl." She cooed as Sarah reached for Brooke's face. "Yes you are." She said before kissing Sarah causing her to erupt in giggles.

Nathan patted Julian on the back. "She did a good job." He smiled.

Julian nodded sadly. "Why are you doing this to her?" He asked Haley.

"I'm sorry, I just thought—"

"She's fragile enough; I don't need this to break her. You may think she's fine now but you're not going to be the one who's cradling her in their arms later on tonight in bed when she's crying because she wants a baby of her own so damn bad! You're not the one who has to sit in doctor's offices being told there's nothing that can be done, you're not there to see the disappointment on her face every damn time she sees a baby with its mom! You're not there, Haley, I am and it _kills_ me every fucking time I have to see her like that!" He yelled.

"There's the bottle we were waiting for." Brooke said as she reached for the bottle in Haley's hand. "Next time, you might want to go some place I won't be able to hear you." She said as she shut the nursery door. "Did they scare you, sweetheart?" She asked as she fed Sarah. "I want a baby just like you." She said as she stared down into her big, bright eyes. "So cute and cuddly, you're just so perfect."

"I'm sorry." Haley muttered after the door closed. "I just thought this would be good for her, you know?"

Julian ran his hand through his hair. "How could this be good for her?" He asked incredulously.

Haley shrugged. "She's going to have to get used to being around babies and as much as it sucks, she had to come to terms with the facts of life."

Nathan stared at his wife. "Haley, don't you think you're being a little insensitive?"

"She's known about this for five months, Nathan, she has to start coming to terms with it." Haley sighed. "I feel bad for her, I really do, but she has to start dealing with this instead of just wiping it under the rug."

Julian turned and walked away. "Where are you going?" Nathan asked.

"Away from her." He replied.

"Real nice, Hales," Nathan groaned as he turned to walk away from her as well. "Dinner ought to be fun. Is there anyone you haven't upset?"

Haley sighed as she turned and walked toward their bedroom. She was dreading dinner now.

"Julian!" Jamie exclaimed when he saw him walk by his bedroom. "Come here!"

As much as Julian just wanted to leave he found himself unable to say no to Jamie. "What's up, bud?" He asked as he entered Jamie's bedroom.

"Don't you think he's cool?" Jamie asked as Julian petted Chester.

Julian nodded. "He's…interesting."

"I think you should get one for Aunt Brooke." Jamie smiled.

Julian laughed. "I don't think Aunt Brooke would like a pet bunny."

"Why?" Jamie asked. "She loves Chester."

"She loves Chester because she doesn't have to take care of him." Julian said.

Jamie nodded. "I guess you're right. Well then you should get Aunt Brooke something else."

"Like what?"

"A baby?" Jamie shrugged.

Julian stopped petting Chester and looked at Jamie. "It's not that easy." He said.

"Why not? Mommy and daddy got Sarah and they didn't even want her. You actually want a baby so it should be a lot easier."

Julian sighed. "Your mom and dad didn't plan on having Sarah; they never 'didn't want her'." He pointed out using Jamie's terminology. "There's a difference."

"Well don't you and Aunt Brooke want a baby?" He asked.

Julian nodded.

"Then why can't you get one?"

"It's not that easy. Aunt Brooke doesn't have as easy of a time getting a baby in her belly." Julian tried to explain. He wasn't sure if Haley and Nathan had told him where babies came from and he really didn't want to be the one that had to explain to him where they came from if Nathan and Haley hadn't. "It's a lot harder for your Aunt Brooke than it is for your mommy."

"Why doesn't mommy have a baby for Aunt Brooke then?" Jamie asked as his eyes lit up.

Julian smiled at Jamie's innocence. "It doesn't work like that, buddy."

"Why not?"

"You're just full of questions tonight, aren't you?" Julian grinned.

Jamie nodded.

"Well why don't you and I go and get your Aunt Brooke and Sarah and ask them if they want to go out for some ice cream?" Julian suggested as he got up off Jamie's bed.

"Before dinner?" Jamie asked incredulously.

Julian nodded. "Your mom owes me."

Jamie scrambled off his bed and reached for Julian's hand as they walked down the hallway toward Sarah's nursery. "I'm sorry about what I said about your outfit earlier." Jamie muttered.

"It's no big deal." Julian smiled. "Aunt Brooke picked it out for me anyway."

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie exclaimed as he barged into the nursery. "Julian's taking us out for ice cream!"

Brooke glanced at Julian. "Before dinner?" She asked.

Jamie nodded eagerly. "He said my momma owes him."

"Oh, does she?" Brooke smirked.

Both Jamie and Julian nodded. "What do you say?" Julian asked.

She glanced down at Sarah who was still in her arms. "Can she come?"

Julian nodded. "Of course she can."

--

"Bye momma! Bye daddy!" Jamie called as he, Julian, Brooke and Sarah made their way toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" Nathan's voice called.

"Out for ice cream with Julian and Aunt Brooke." Jamie replied as Julian helped him put his coat on. "We're taking Sarah too so she doesn't feel left out."

Haley and Nathan, at this point, were now both standing in the foyer with their arms crossed. "Everyone's going to be here soon, dinner's almost ready! You can't go out for ice cream now." Haley said.

"Well, we are." Julian said as he reached for his keys and led Jamie out of the house.

Brooke turned toward Haley and Nathan. "Don't worry, we won't be that long." She assured them. "They'll both be fine with me."

Haley nodded before giving Sarah a quick kiss on the forehead. "Make sure she doesn't get too cold."

"I won't." Brooke smiled.

"And Jamie's allergic to walnuts!" She called as Brooke made her way down the front steps.

She turned. "I know, Hales."

Haley nodded. "I know you do."

As Brooke made her way down toward Julian's car, Peyton, Mike and Connor were all making their way toward Nathan and Haley's house. "Where are you going?" Peyton panicked.

"Out for a little bit. You'll be fine." Brooke assured her before continuing toward the car.

"Brooke!" Peyton called. "Don't leave me here alone with her!"

"That's not how you do it." Jamie laughed from his booster seat. He was watching Julian struggle with Sarah's car seat.

"Well than how do I do it?" He asked.

"Like this," Jamie said as he leaned across and pulled the seatbelt through one of the slots. "See?"

"Good job, pal." Julian smiled, impressed with what Jamie had just done.

"Finally!" Jamie exclaimed when Brooke appeared with Sarah.

"Ready to go get some ice cream?" Julian asked after Brooke strapped Sarah into her car seat before hopping into the front seat.

"Ready!" Jamie and Brooke squealed.

As Julian made his way down the quiet streets of Tree Hill, Brooke's head swarmed with thoughts. He wanted a baby just as much as she did. He hurt just as much as she did. She needed to do something if they were ever going to get their dream. Peyton even said that overcoming odds was what she did best. Maybe, she thought, it was time to try defying the odds one more time.

--

Review please!!


	16. Settle

Chapter Sixteen: Settle 

"Is that yummy?" Brooke asked as they sat inside the ice cream shop.

Jamie nodded eagerly. "Want to try some?" He asked.

Brooke shook her head. "I'm all set, buddy, but thank you."

"Are you sure?" Jamie asked as he handed her a spoonful of chocolate ice cream. "It's really good!"

"All right," Brooke caved as she took the spoon from him and ate the ice cream. "Thank you."

"Your welcome." He smiled.

Julian grinned as he watched the two of them interact as he held Sarah. "Here, you have chocolate ice cream all over your face." He said as he leaned over and helped Jamie wipe his face.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jamie asked as he placed his spoon down beside his cup of ice cream. Both Julian and Brooke nodded. "Why don't I call you Uncle Julian?"

Brooke noticed the panicked look on Julian's face; she knew he was unsure of how to answer the question. "He's not related to you like Uncle Lucas is."

"You're not related to me either but I still call you Aunt Brooke." Jamie shrugged still not understanding Brooke's reasoning.

Brooke nodded. "You're right but I am your godmother so that's why I'm your Aunt and because your mom and dad are like family to me so it's just easier this way." She knew she wasn't making sense but she didn't know how to explain it.

Jamie sighed as he leaned back in the booth. "Well, what if you and Julian got married? Then I could call him Uncle Julian, right? Because that's what happened when Uncle Lucas married Peyton, she became Aunt Peyton but now they're not together anymore so she's back to just Peyton. That would work, right?"

She was unsure of how to answer his question. Technically he was right but she didn't want to get his hopes up and she and Julian had never even talked marriage so she didn't want to freak Julian out either. She figured Julian thought she had taken too long to answer because she heard him answer the question by saying yes which caused Jamie to squeal in excitement.

"And then when you finally marry Aunt Brooke you can go get her that baby you want!" He exclaimed as his eyes lit up. "This is perfect, Aunt Brooke, don't you think?"

She looked over at Julian who was conveniently looking down at Sarah. "It's just perfect." She smiled.

A little while later, after Jamie had finished his second bowl of ice cream, they were headed back to the car when he fell. She had warned him not to run because she was scared something like this would happen, it was dark and the sidewalk was uneven and Jamie didn't really watch where he was going so it was assumed he would fall if he weren't careful. "Aunt Brooke!" He cried as he remained on the ground. She immediately let go of Julian's hand and rushed over to her crying godson.

"You're okay." She soothed as she lifted him up and walked over to a bench a few feet away.

"It's bleeding!" He panicked as he looked down at his torn khaki pants that were beginning to soak with blood.

She took off her scarf and carefully wrapped it around his leg so he couldn't see the cut or the blood anymore. "It's okay, see? All gone."

Jamie tried to look down but he couldn't see anything anymore. His tears started to stop as she talked to him while cleaning the scrape with the wet paper towel Julian had brought her. "It hurts, Aunt Brooke." He said.

"I know it does buddy but once we get back to the car you can pick out a pretty band-aid to cover it up, okay?" She smiled as she picked him up again.

Jamie rested his head on Brooke's shoulder as the four of them made it toward the car. "What kind of band-aids do you have?" He asked.

"I have some with Big Bird on them, some Blue's Clues ones, a couple with Dora, and a few with Lightning McQueen." She said.

"Lightning McQueen from Cars?" He asked excitedly.

Brooke nodded.

"I want one of those ones!"

She smiled. "You got it, bud."

As Julian strapped Sarah back into her car seat, Brooke put the band-aid on Jamie's knee before buckling him in. "Do you think mommy's going to be mad that I ripped my pants?" He asked innocently as he looked down at the tear.

Brooke shook her head. "All she cares about is that you're okay."

Jamie smiled. "I'm always okay when I'm with you. You take good care of me, Aunt Brooke. That's why I think you and Julian should go get a baby, you'd take good care of a baby too."

His words melted her heart. She knew he was too young to understand what was going on and that it wasn't as easy as he thought it was but she also knew that she needed encouragement from him if she was going to do this. He believed that his Aunt Brooke could do this. "Thanks Jamie, that means a lot coming from you." She said before shutting the car door.

"Ready to go back to h-e-double hockey sticks for dinner?" Julian asked as she belted herself in.

She nodded as she reached for the hand that wasn't on the wheel. "We need to talk tonight." She said softly.

"Okay," He replied warily. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, I just need to talk to you tonight."

They drove in silence for quite some time before she realized that Jamie had fallen asleep. "They're both sleeping." She whispered after turning around to check on them.

"I'm pretty sure they both fell asleep before we even left the parking lot." He smiled as he glanced back in the rear-view mirror. "You're good with them, Brooke." He said as he squeezed her hand.

She nodded. "Growing up I was never the girl who babysat because I felt like a fish out of water around kids but that all changed when Haley had Jamie. I hate that I missed out on so much of his life during those first four years but I finally feel like I'll be able to make it up with Sarah. I look forward to spending time with them, they're so innocent and naïve."

He smiled. "Are you all right with all of this? I don't want you to become too overwhelmed by all of this with Sarah and now Peyton pregnant, I don't want it to break you down."

"I need this," She said as she turned to look at him. "I need this so I can move forward with my life. I love you so much for trying to protect me from everything but I need to learn how to be around babies and their moms if I'm ever going to come to terms with this."

He smiled as he squeezed her hand before brining it to his lips and kissing her. "Okay, then." He said softly.

--

Julian held a sleeping Jamie in his arms and Brooke held Sarah who was also still asleep too as they made their way back toward Nathan and Haley's front door. As they got closer, they realized there were quite a few people sitting on the front porch. "Brooke!" She exclaimed. "Finally!"

"Peyton?" Brooke called. "What are you doing out here?"

"There was no way in hell I was going to go in there all by myself." She replied as she helped Connor to his feet.

Brooke sighed. "What happened to taking the high road?"

"I wasn't ready for that." Peyton shrugged.

"Well why are the rest of you sitting out here?" Brooke asked as she glanced around at Lauren and Skills and Millicent and Mouth as well as Mia and Chase.

"She wouldn't let us go in!" Lauren exclaimed.

Julian turned around so he wouldn't get in trouble for laughing from Brooke. She smacked his arm anyway, which caused Jamie to wake up. "Nice going, babe." Julian said.

"We're home?" Jamie asked groggily.

"Yep, you ready to eat some spaghetti and meatballs?" Brooke asked as she rubbed his back.

Jamie nodded eagerly. "Yes!" He exclaimed.

"Can we go inside now?" Millicent asked. "It's freezing out here."

Brooke nodded. "I can't believe you didn't allow them to go inside!" She said as Peyton walked by her.

"Finally!" Haley exclaimed when she saw everyone walk through the front door. "I was getting worried none of you would show."

"We've been out on the porch for the past hour, Peyton wouldn't let us come inside." Skills said as he handed Nathan his jacket.

"You poor things," Haley sighed. "Why don't you all go in the dining room, dinners ready and nice and hot so it'll warm you up in no time."

Peyton proceeded to follow everyone else but Haley stopped her. Brooke, worried of what might happen, handed Sarah to Julian and stayed behind to serve as a mediator if needed.

"I can't believe you!" Haley exclaimed. "Why would you do such a thing?"

Peyton shrugged. "I didn't want them to go in if I couldn't."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest. "What was preventing you from coming in?"

"You." Peyton said simply.

Haley sighed. "I try to be nice and invite you over for dinner because I want to put this behind us but you go and act like a five-year-old and ruin it all. I can't believe you." She said as she shook her head.

"Do you really blame her?" Brooke asked.

"I can't believe you're defending her right now!" Haley exclaimed. "Actually, I can. You sauntered out of my house with my children right before everyone showed up to take them out for ice cream."

"I had to get out of this house after you so very nicely pointed out that I should have accepted that I can't have kids five months ago but we're not making this about me right now—"

"You said that to her?" Peyton cried out in disbelief. "You're even more heartless than I thought!"

"Peyton, please." Brooke begged. "Now is not the time for this."

"No, I'm not going to let her treat you like that, Brooke." Peyton said as she shook her head. "Do you know how much shit Brooke has had to deal with over the past five months? Between being gang raped, finding out her boyfriend's ex-lover is pregnant, losing said ex-lover, dealing with Julian being blind, Julian being in a car accident, constantly worrying about him and me and you and every other goddamn person Brooke really hasn't had time to deal with the fact that she can't have kids because she's constantly worrying about everyone else."

"Peyton," Brooke sighed. "It's okay. And Haley, I'm not defending Peyton but she had a right to be scared to come in here. You made her feel like she was the worst person in the world for doing what she did to Lucas. Yeah, what she did was pretty rotten but she already lost her husband, she didn't have to lose a best friend in the process. We're not all Saint Haley, we don't all always do the right thing one hundred percent of the time like you."

"I'm not a saint." Haley laughed.

"You are though," Peyton protested. "You always do the right thing and you're the first person to point it out when others don't."

"I'm sorry." Haley muttered. "I never meant to make you feel so badly about yourself."

Peyton nodded. "I know you have an allegiance to Luke but you were one of my best friends, I needed you just as badly as he did, Haley. Brooke managed to not take a side, why couldn't you? She's helped Lucas so much since the divorce and I'm so thankful he had her during the darkest time of his life, why couldn't you continue to be my friend and realize that even though I did a bad thing I'm not a bad person?"

"I'm sorry." Haley repeated again as she moved toward Peyton and enveloped her in a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"I am too." Peyton said as she held onto Haley.

Brooke watched from across the room, as her two best friends finally became friends again. "Get over here." Peyton called as she waved her hand for Brooke to join in on the hug.

"See? Isn't this better than fighting?" Brooke asked.

Haley and Peyton both nodded. "We definitely have a lot of talking to do but we'll get back to the way we used to be." Haley said.

"Now don't you two think you should make up?" Peyton said as she eyed the two of them.

Brooke looked over at Haley. "We're not really fighting per say…"

Haley nodded. "I shouldn't have done what I did and Julian was just trying to protect her. We're fine."

"Good." Peyton smiled. "Now, how about that dinner?"

Dinner was great. No one was fighting, Haley had apologized to Julian for being insensitive, Jamie kept making everyone burst out laughing with some innocent little comment and the food was phenomenal. Brooke was very impressed that Peyton, Mike and Lucas were able to make it through an entire evening together without one cruel word to one another, granted none of them spoke to each other but she figured that was the only way things would remain calm. The last thing they needed was for their casual dinner to turn into a Jerry Springer episode. As the men relaxed in front of the television, the girls cleaned up the plates and dishes in the kitchen while gossiping.

"Did you hear that Tiffany's husband left her?" Lauren asked as she wiped off one of the plates.

"Again?" Brooke asked in disbelief. "What for?"

Lauren shrugged. "I guess he just didn't love her anymore."

Peyton frowned. "That's the fourth husband who's left her. Poor girl."

"Well she wouldn't have that problem if she quit marrying a different guy after every divorce is finalized, you would have thought she learned by now." Haley laughed.

Millicent shrugged. "Some people never do."

"How do you think Mike and Lucas are doing?" Mia smiled, she enjoyed watching the two of them feud because she found it to be quite comical. She didn't understand why no one else found it to be.

"I'm sure Nathan, Julian, Skills, Mouth and Chase are sitting in between them." Haley shrugged.

"When's Luke leaving for LA?" Lauren asked.

"Tomorrow night," Brooke smiled. "He's so excited to see her. It's like they haven't seen each other in months."

"Well," Peyton sighed as she glanced at the clock, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I think it's about time we left. Connor's probably exhausted."

Lauren and Millicent nodded. "It is getting late." Millicent agreed.

They all started to make their way toward the living room to get their boyfriends but Brooke stopped when she felt someone's hand on her arm.

"I meant to ask you this earlier but Sarah started crying and then the whole thing happened with Julian yelling at me and then you took them out for ice—"

"Hales," Brooke smiled. "What's up?"

"Nathan has this basketball thing in California next week and he really wants me to attend it with him so we were wondering if you and Julian could maybe watch Jamie and Sarah for a few days?"

Brooke's eyes lit up. "We'd love to!" She exclaimed.

"Are you sure Julian will be okay with this? I mean, you heard him earlier this evening; he wasn't to pleased when I left you in the nursery alone with Sarah. I can only imagine his reaction when I leave you with them for a few days." Haley said as she shook her head.

"He's going to be fine with this." Brooke assured her.

Haley smiled. "Good, because I'm still not all that comfortable leaving them with Peyton just yet."

Brooke laughed. "Oh, Haley."

--

Later on that night, Brooke lay alone in their bed while Julian took care of something. She had asked what he had to go do but he wouldn't let her know, he said she'd know soon enough. He had been gone for over an hour and she was starting to get worried, she had told him she wanted to talk but it was almost midnight now and she knew when he got home he'd probably just want to sleep which meant they wouldn't talk until tomorrow and she couldn't wait that long. She wished Sam were home so she'd have someone to talk to but she was spending the night at Victoria's. She finally heard the door creak open followed by his light footsteps. She heard him move some things around in the living room, she was curious as to what he was doing but she was so comfortable in bed that she didn't feel like getting up to check it out. She knew he'd come to bed sooner or later. "Hey," He whispered as he walked into their room a little while later. "Come follow me."

She groaned. "I'm so comfortable though."

"I promise this will be worth it." He smiled as he extended his hand to her. Reluctantly she took his hand and got out of their bed. She giggled when she felt him put his hand over her eyes. "Just trust me, okay?" He whispered into her ear. He carefully led her out of their room and down the hallway toward the living room. "Don't open your eyes yet." He said as he let go of her hand and removed the other from her eyes. "Okay." He whispered.

She opened her eyes slowly and immediately brought her hands to her face. The room was dark except for fifty candles or so arranged on the wood floor to form the words "Marry Me?" as he knelt on one knee behind it with an open ring box. Her eyes started to flood with tears as her hands and knees began to shake. "Before you say that we've only been together for five months and that this is too soon and before you think of a million and one reasons why this won't work, I'm going to give you one why it will. I love you, Brooke; I want to spend the rest of my life by your side as your husband. I want to give you—"

"Yes." She said softly as she nodded her head.

He smiled. "I didn't even ask you yet."

"Sorry," She blushed. "You can finish."

He shook his head and skipped to the part he knew she was waiting to hear. "Will you marry me, Brooke?"

"Yes." She repeated.

He rose to his feet and wrapped her in his arms as he spun her around the living room as she erupted in giggles. She was surprised when she heard clapping and cheers and when they turned the lights on she saw her mom and Sam with tears in their eyes.

"You knew?" Brooke asked as she wiped her eyes.

Victoria nodded. "Julian came over about an hour ago and asked for permission to marry you. He wanted us to be here when he proposed."

"That's where you went?"

Julian nodded. "I didn't feel right doing it without having her approval."

Sam squealed as she rushed over to hug Brooke. "I'm so happy for you!"

"I can't believe this is happening." Brooke said in disbelief as she looked down at the engagement ring Julian had placed on her finger. "Is this Grandma Ruth's ring?" She asked.

Victoria nodded. "She always wanted you to have it. She'd be so proud of you sweetheart."

Sam smiled. "Well as much as we'd love to stay, I know you two want to be alone tonight, so what do you say, Grandma V?"

"We'll see you two in the morning. Sam and I will be here bright and early to make a celebratory breakfast!" Victoria said as he grabbed her coat from the chair. "C'mon Samantha, we better get to the grocery store before it closes to pick up a few things."

Sam groaned. "Do we have to?"

Brooke laughed as she watched her mom drag her daughter out of the house. "Did this really just happen?" She asked after the door shut leaving just her and Julian in the house.

Julian nodded. "It did."

She let out a big squeal, which made Julian smile the biggest she had ever seen. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned into kiss him. He quickly deepened the kiss as he led her back to their bedroom. He knew she would start to panic if he went too far which was why, as she lay on top of him on the bed, he pulled away from the kiss. "I don't want to ruin this, tonight." He said softly as he caressed her face. She nodded as she rolled off of him only to snuggle up beside him.

"How long have you been planning this?" She asked as she stared at the ring on her finger.

"Ever since about three hours ago." He smiled.

She turned to face him. "Really?" She asked in disbelief.

He nodded. "Seeing you with Sarah and Jamie made me realize how badly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You're so incredible with them that it made me realize how much I want to have a family with you and I'll stop at nothing until we finally reach our dream. I don't want to have to settle, Brooke, I want to have it all."

She smiled at his words. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about tonight. I want to talk to Jess and see if there's anything she can do. I know she said there was nothing that could be done but maybe there is. She's had a little while to do some research, maybe there's something out there that could help has have a family."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that." He grinned.

"I heard you earlier today in the hallway with Haley." She said as she reached for his hand beneath the sheets. "I know it's hard with me constantly crying and when people tell us there's nothing that can be done to fix me but with you by my side it makes it all a little better. We're probably going to hear a thousand no's before we get that one yes that's going to change our entire lives. We're probably going to cry when things don't go our way but we have to hold onto the hope that we're going to get that one yes because if we don't, we're never going to make it through this. This is going to be the hardest thing we're ever going to have to do in our lives but it's going to be worth it when we get to bring our baby home."

He stared at her in amazement. "You're the strongest, most beautiful woman in the world, you know that?"

She smiled. "I've been told that a time or two."

"You're going to make me the luckiest man in the world the day you become my wife." He said before leaning in to kiss her.

"We're really going to do this." She grinned.

He nodded. "We're going to get married and have a baby like everyone else does, we're going to do this, we're going to make this work."

She snuggled into his embrace and smiled. She was well aware that the next phase of her life was going to be anything but easy but she still couldn't stop smiling. She was engaged to a man who would do anything to make her happy, her mom approved of him, Sam looked up to him as a father and he wanted the same thing out of life that she did. Things were finally going her way for once and as much as that scared her because it was so uncommon, it also made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

--

Review please!!


	17. Tell

Chapter Seventeen: Tell

"Do you really have to go?" Brooke whined as she sat on the bed while Julian rushed around to pack his suitcase.

He nodded. "I'm so sorry, babe, but I'll be back tomorrow night."

"This isn't fair." She sighed. "We're supposed to spend the entire day together going to tell everyone that we're engaged. Can't you just put this off for one more day?"

"Brooke, sweetie," He said as he held her head in his hands. "I don't want to go but I have to. They're having a major problem with the director and it's my job to take care of this kind of stuff."

"What am I supposed to do with you gone?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know, go back to your store. You haven't been there since…" He trailed off when he realized what he was about to say.

"The attack?" She said softly.

He nodded. "Yeah, maybe on second thought that's not such a good idea." Victoria had insisted that Brooke take as much time as she needed off before returning to work. There had been countless times since the attack that she tried to go back to the store but every time she tried, she made it to the front door before her mind went back to that night. Her mom had spent hours on end cleaning up the store after everything happened, she even rearranged it so when Brooke did return she wasn't haunted with memories of that night.

Brooke shook her head. "It's been five months, I need to get back there."

"You don't have to," Julian argued. "You've done a great job working on sketches here at the house, you could continue to do that."

She smiled. "I love how protective you are of me but I have to get back out into the world. I've been cooped up here because I'm scared to go anywhere by myself but I have to get over that fear."

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked one last time.

She nodded. "And besides, maybe I can start working on my dress or something."

He smiled. "You're mom's going to be there, right? I mean, you're not going to be there by yourself or anything?"

"She'll be there. Millicent too." She smiled at his concern. "I'm going to be fine, Julian."

He nodded his head. "I know you are, I just can't help but worry about you."

"Brooke! Julian!" She heard her mom call. "Breakfast is ready!"

Julian brought his hand to his head. "I totally forgot that they were making us breakfast."

Brooke smiled. "Well, looks like you're either going to have to break their hearts or catch a later plane."

"This isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair." She grinned. She was truly enjoying making him suffer. "So, what's it going to be?"

He groaned as he pulled out his cell phone. "Josh? It's Julian. Listen, I'm going to need you to book me a later flight. Something came up."

Brooke squealed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down onto the bed. She waited until he hung up the phone before whispering in his ear. "Good choice."

"Morning!" Brooke greeted as she and Julian walked into the kitchen holding hands.

Sam eyed the two of them from her seat at the table. "You two so did it last night." She said as she shook her head.

"Samantha!" Victoria exclaimed with a horrified look. "Don't speak like that at the breakfast table!"

"Fine," Sam said as she got up and walked into the living room. "You two so did it last night."

Julian couldn't help but laugh as Victoria stared at her in disbelief. "You're unbelievable, you know that?" She said as she shook her head.

Sam shrugged as she sat back down at the table. "You said don't say it at the table."

"I think she didn't want you to say it at all." Brooke said as she sat down beside her daughter. "And for your information we didn't do anything last night."

Sam laughed. "I don't believe you."

Brooke reached for her napkin and shrugged. "We didn't."

"This looks great," Julian said, as he looked around at all the food Victoria and Sam had prepared.

"So," Victoria said as she leaned forward. "Do you have a date set?"

"Mom," Brooke laughed. "He proposed last night."

"Okay, what about a color scheme? Guest list? Location? Honeymoon destination? Or what—"

"Mom, we have nothing planned yet." She smiled.

Victoria sighed a sigh of relief. "Good, because I want to be totally involved in this but not like over the top involved, you know what I'm saying?"

Brooke nodded. "You'll be involved."

About an hour later, Julian knew it was time for him to say goodbye and leave for the airport. He was only going to be gone for a total of eighteen hours but to both he and Brooke that felt like a lifetime. "If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away." He said as he held Brooke in his arms.

"I know." She nodded as she breathed in his scent one more time. "Just be careful in New York."

"I will be." He assured her before kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

--

"So," Sam asked as she and Brooke walked toward the store. "When are you going to tell everyone?"

"About the engagement?" Brooke asked as she rummaged through her purse.

"No, about the new shade of taupe you're thinking of painting the bathroom." Sam sighed. "Of course about the engagement!"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Shouldn't I wait until Julian gets back?"

Sam shook her head. "He could have stayed but no, he felt the need to jet up to New York City eight hours after he proposes to you."

"He didn't want to go, Sam. It's his job; he has an obligation to uphold just like if one of my stores in New York or California or Boston needed me I'd have to fly out there on a moment's notice. It's just the way our jobs are."

"I know," Sam nodded. "The timing just sucks." She stopped walking when she realized Brooke was no longer beside her. Sam looked up to see they were in front of the store and she knew Brooke was still scared. "You can do this." Sam said softly as she reached for Brooke's hand. She nodded as she and Sam slowly made their way up the front steps that led into the store. Victoria was standing behind the counter ringing up a customer when she saw Sam and Brooke enter the store. She noticed how pale her daughter was as she motioned for Millicent to finish ringing up the customer as Victoria made her way toward her daughter. Brooke looked around her store as memories of the night of the attack flooded back. She remembered being pushed into one of the displays before being carried into the back room where she was raped. The blood had long since been cleaned up but she could still see it on the floorboards as she continued to make her way into the store. She wasn't sure where they burned their cigarettes into her bare skin because she woke up in the front of the store after being raped in the back. That was the part that angered her the most, the fact that she couldn't remember what happened to her after she blacked out. Although she was thankful she wasn't conscious when it happened she hated that she didn't know what happened to her, she hated the fact that her mind always wandered to the what-ifs and as much as she tried to make it go away it wouldn't.

"Hey, sweetheart." Victoria said as she hugged Brooke. "How are you doing?"

"Okay." Brooke replied softly. "This was the place that everything was supposed to be better and safe." She said as she motioned up to where the sign still hung. "How am I supposed to feel safe here, now?"

"With time you'll be able to." Victoria assured her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Brooke shook her head. "I want to focus on something other than the attack, I need to focus on something else before this all becomes too much to handle. Sam, why don't you call Haley and Peyton and tell them to meet me here at the store."

"You're going to tell them?" Sam asked as she began to dial Peyton's number.

Brooke nodded. "I am."

--

Lucas was packing the last of his things when he heard a knock on his front door. It had been two weeks since he last saw Jess and he was so excited to fly out to LA later that night to see her. They had talked on the phone every night since she left and although that had been nice it wasn't the same as talking to her as she lay in his arms late at night in his bed. It scared him how fast he had fallen for her, it scared him how much love he felt for her after spending such a short amount of time together. Lucas sighed as he walked toward the door to answer it, when he did he was flabbergasted at who he saw standing before him.

"I missed you." She shrugged. "I can't do the long distance thing, I'm not good at it."

"Jess," He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "What are you doing here? I'm supposed to fly out to see you tonight."

"I know." She nodded. "I left."

"I can see that." He smiled. "How long are you staying for?"

She shook her head. "You don't understand. I left everything behind in LA. I sold my practice, sold my apartment and packed everything I owned into a few suitcases and flew here. I don't want to only see you for a week every month, that's not enough for me. I'm scared to death right now; I don't have a job or a place to live anymore; I gave it all up for love and I'm hoping that I made the right choice because I never do this kind of thing. I'm the one who always weighs the pros and cons of everything, I'm not spontaneous, but I'm starting to think this was a mistake. I should have talked to you before I did this, I—" Lucas cut her off by pressing his lips against hers. "I'm glad you're here." He whispered.

She looked up at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really."

She smiled before leaning into kiss him again. She had given up everything she had worked her entire life to achieve for love…something three months ago Lucas Scott wasn't sure he even believed in anymore. But she changed that, she made him believe in love all over again, she made him get butterflies and sweaty palms, she made him nervous and comfortable all at the same time, but most importantly she made him a better man.

--

"Brooke?" Haley called as she walked into the store.

"In the back!" Brooke yelled.

Haley politely smiled at a few customers before making her way into the back room where Peyton, Brooke and Sam were sitting. She found it odd that Brooke was sitting on her hands but didn't think anything of it. "What's up?" She asked as she took a seat beside Sam.

"Apparently Brooke has something big she wants to tell us but she's not sure how." Peyton said as she glanced over at Brooke.

"Just tell us." Haley shrugged. "We're your best friends, it shouldn't be that hard to tell us."

Brooke smiled before looking over at Sam who was clearly enjoying this. She had an amused look on her face. "Tell 'em." She coaxed.

"I'm getting married!" She squealed as she pulled her left hand out from underneath her and held it up showing off her ring.

"No!" Haley gasped as she jumped up.

"Seriously?" Peyton exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"

The three of them all hugged each other as they jumped up and down. Sam, still sitting on the couch, felt uncomfortable and coughed loudly. "I'd prefer it if you took your weird lesbian hug thing someplace else. I'm sure your customers would appreciate it too."

Brooke groaned. "Get over here." She said as she waved her arm. Sam reluctantly stood up and joined the hug, however, she didn't jump up and down like the rest of them.

"When did this happen?" Haley asked once they had all settled down.

"Last night around midnight?" Brooke estimated. "We got home from your house and I got ready for bed while he took care of something. Turns out, he drove over to my mom's and asked for her permission to propose to me—" She was cut off by Haley and Peyton's 'awws'. She smiled before continuing. "So he got back about an hour later and I heard him moving things around in the living room but I was too comfortable to go check it out so I stayed in bed. Then he came in and made me get out and covered my eyes while leading me into the living room. I opened my eyes and the room was dark except for the words 'marry me?' spelt out in candles on the floor with him kneeling behind it on one knee."

"That's so sweet." Haley gushed.

Peyton nodded in agreement. "How long has he been planning this for?"

"Since last night." Brooke shrugged.

Haley and Peyton both laughed. "No, Brooke. Seriously." Peyton asked.

"I'm serious."

"Seriously?" Haley asked as she leaned forward.

Brooke nodded. "Why? Is that bad or something?"

Peyton shook her head before shooting a glare at Haley. "No." She assured Brooke.

Brooke glanced over at Haley. "It is kind of spontaneous, huh? Maybe I should have said no, I mean we've only been together for five months and that's no where near long enough to be with someone before they propose—"

"Brooke," Peyton said as she reached for her hand. "You said yes for a reason. Julian loves you and it doesn't matter how long the two of you have been together. Anyone who has eyes can see how much the two of you love each other and that you're destined to spend the rest of your lives together. This is a good thing." She smiled. "And Haley, how long had Nathan been planning his proposal to you?"

"That's not the point." Haley argued.

"How long?" Peyton pressed.

"I don't know, it all happened so fast—"

Peyton smiled. "Exactly, you two got engaged and married in the same night and you two had been together for as long as Brooke and Julian if not shorter and look at the two of you now. You and Nathan are still together and so in love at times it's sickening, it worked for you just like it's going to work for Brooke."

Haley nodded. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I'm not going to this time." Brooke assured her.

"So where is he?" Peyton asked.

"In New York." Brooke sighed.

Haley laughed. "Figures."

"He had an emergency with work, he'll be back in the morning." She said. "I need to talk to you guys about something personal, though."

Sam looked up from her phone, which she was currently using to text Jack. She had a feeling the conversation that was about to ensue was going to make her uncomfortable and she really didn't need to know about what Brooke and Julian did behind closed doors. "I'm going to go see if Grandma V needs any help." She said as she got up and walked away.

Peyton smiled. "Does Victoria like being called that?"

Brooke laughed. "I have no idea."

"What's going on, Brooke?" Haley asked as she noticed Brooke begin to fidget.

"I haven't talked to anyone about this because it's embarrassing but you're my best friends and…I need to talk to someone about this before it ends up pushing Julian away." She said as she began to play with the hem of her skirt. "He said he'd wait until forever if he had to but that's not fair to him. First, I can't give him a baby and now I can't even have sex with him without screaming at him to get off of me…"

Peyton got up from her seat across from Brooke and sat down beside her as she wrapped her in a hug. "He's not going anywhere." She said softly. "He loves you and he knows you're scared. He's going to help you through this."

Brooke nodded. "I just feel like sex now is this dirty, horrible, wrong thing and every time he goes to touch me I feel guilty. I don't know how to make that feeling go away."

"Maybe," Haley said softly. "You should try it again. I know how scary being intimate with someone can be, my first night with Nathan I was absolutely terrified, but once I was in his arms that feeling went away. I know it was my first time and everything was new to me so that in no way compares to the hell you were put through that night but maybe all you need to do is try it again with Julian. Go out and buy something that makes you feel sexy so that when Julian comes home tomorrow it'll put him in the mood."

"What if I get scared again? It happens every damn time he goes to take off my bra, what if I get scared again, Haley?" She asked.

"Then you wait a few days and try it again until you're finally able to let him take your bra off without getting scared. If he said he'll wait he's going to wait, he wants to be with you, Brooke." She said as she placed her hand on Brooke's knee. "The only way you're ever going to be able to be intimate with Julian is if you keep trying and refuse to let those men take any more away from you."

--

Later on that night, Brooke laid in her bed staring at Sam who was sleeping beside her. "You know, I can feel you staring at me." Sam said as she continued to 'sleep.'

"Sorry." Brooke mumbled.

She smiled before turning over to face Brooke. "It's okay. What are you thinking about?"

"You." She shrugged. "Julian."

"What about me?" Sam asked.

"Just how lucky I am to have you in my life." Brooke smiled.

"Well, you saved mine."

Brooke cocked her head. "You really think so?"

Sam nodded. "I know so. Without you I'd still be bouncing from one house to the next. I wouldn't have a stable environment, I wouldn't be on the honor roll and I wouldn't see the point in going to college. I wouldn't have dreams or goals but I do now because of you."

"I'm so proud of you." Brooke smiled.

Sam remained quiet for a few minutes. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something for a little while now but I'm not sure how." She said softly.

"You're not having another pregnancy scare are you?" Brooke panicked.

"No." Sam laughed. "Jack and I haven't even slept together since it all happened."

"Good." Brooke sighed. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that."

"It's about you and me." Sam said.

"What about us?"

"I know that the papers say you're my legal guardian now, you're my mom, but I don't know, it just doesn't feel right calling you mom when I've always called you Brooke. I feel like I should call you mom because I know that's what you'd prefer but it just feels weird calling you that when you're only eight years older than me—"

"Sam," Brooke said. "You can call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me, all that matters is that you're happy."

Sam nodded. "Maybe in a few months or years I'll call you mom but I'm just not ready yet. I've never had someone to call my mother in the first place." She shrugged.

Brooke pulled her close. "I love you." She whispered as she kissed the top of Sam's head.

"I love you too." She replied. "And I only call Victoria Grandma V because I know it annoys the hell out of her."

Brooke laughed. "I actually think she likes it."

Sam smiled. "Do you think Julian would ever want to adopt me when you guys get married?"

"Would you want him to?" Brooke asked.

Sam shrugged. "It'd be nice to have someone to call dad when I call you mom"

"We'd be an actual family." Brooke smiled.

"A crazy one," Sam laughed. "But a good one."

"The best one."

And with that, both Brooke and Sam fell asleep with smiles on their faces. Neither Brooke nor Sam's life was easy but with the help of each other they were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and grow into the best versions of themselves. Sam had dreams and goals because of Brooke and Brooke had become the mother and role model she always yearned to be because of Sam. They weren't the typical family but they were on their way to becoming an amazing one.

--

Review please!!


	18. Want

**I just wanted to say thank everyone who has reviewed this story, they're what make me want to keep updating and they provide motivation when I'm stuck so thank you so much! I'm sorry I haven't personally thanked all of you who have reviewed but just so you know I appreciate every single one of them. So on that note, if there is anything you want to see happen in future chapters let me know because there are definitely times when I have NO idea what to do next and your suggestions would be a big help. A big thanks to stagediva23 you've given me so much support and I just wanted to personally thank you! And to PSawyer122(Jordan) thanks for always putting up with me when I constantly pester you with trying to help me think of ideas for this fic, you've been a lifesaver, thank you!! Enough rambling, I hope you enjoy this chapter and like I said, if you have any ideas PLEASE let me know in a review because I'm open to anything! Thank you so much for reading!! Enjoy!!!! **

Chapter Eighteen: Want

"If you need anything at all don't hesitate to call, okay?" Haley said as she and Nathan headed for the front door. Brooke nodded. Haley and Nathan had been at her house for the past forty-five minutes explaining every little thing to her and Julian. They were going to be gone for five days but Haley had pretty much written a book on how to take care of Jamie and Sarah which included what books Jamie liked to be read at bedtime, how much toothpaste to put on his toothbrush and so forth. Both Brooke and Julian were exhausted just from listening to her explain everything.

"I know how to take care of them." Brooke assured her as she adjusted Sarah on her hip. "We're all going to be fine."

Haley nodded. "I know you will be."

Nathan leaned in to hug Brooke and give his daughter a kiss before shaking hands with Julian. "Watch her." He whispered as he nodded over toward Brooke who was hugging Haley. Julian nodded. "I will."

"Jamie! Bud! Mommy and daddy are leaving!" Brooke called into the house where Jamie had been for quite some time. Seconds later, the sound of little feet echoed through the house as he rushed to say goodbye.

"Bye! Love you!" He said quickly as he kissed both Haley and Nathan before disappearing back into the house.

"He's really going to miss you two." Julian laughed.

Nathan nodded. "He's always preferred Aunt Brooke to his mom and dad."

"Because Aunt Brooke is the cool one." Brooke shrugged.

Haley laughed. "He likes you because you let him have ice cream before dinner and stay up way past his bedtime. I'm sure he'd like me just as much as you if I let him do that kind of stuff."

"Julian!" Jamie called.

"We better get going, sounds like he really needs you." Nathan said as he wrapped his arm around Haley.

"Have fun!" Brooke called as she watched them walk toward the car.

"We will, take good care of them." Haley called back.

Brooke nodded and smiled when she felt Julian's arm slink around her waist. "Ready to play house?" He asked as they waved to Nathan and Haley who drove off toward the airport.

Brooke smiled. "I'm ready if you're ready."

"You're really okay with this?" He asked.

"Julian," She sighed. "For the hundredth time, I'm fine."

He nodded as he reached for her hand. "Okay, then. Let's do this."

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie squealed when he saw her walk into the kitchen. "You're not supposed to be in here!"

Brooke and Julian looked around the kitchen as their jaws dropped. "What are you doing, bud?" Brooke asked once she was finally able to pick her jaw back up off the ground.

"It was supposed to be a surprise!" He complained. "You weren't supposed to see until I was all done."

"What are you trying to do?" Julian asked as he carefully made his way toward the seven-year-old.

"Make a cake." Jamie whispered in Julian's ear once he was close enough.

"Ah," Julian nodded. "Brooke, why don't you go take Sarah for a little walk on the beach while I help Jamie finish his surprise for you." He said as he reached for the apron that hung in the closet.

Brooke eyed Jamie and Julian curiously before turning her attention to Sarah. "What do you say, little one? Do you want to go for a walk?" Sarah giggled in response as Brooke tickled her foot. After she had put Sarah's small coat on, she turned toward Jamie and Julian again. "Try not to make an even bigger mess." She said as she looked around the kitchen before heading out the back door.

Once the door shut, both Jamie and Julian started to laugh. "She doesn't want us to make a mess because she knows she'll be the one to clean it up." Jamie smiled.

Julian laughed. "That's not nice."

"But it's true." He shrugged.

Julian looked around the kitchen. There was flour everywhere, several unwrapped sticks of butter all over the place, spilt milk on the floor as well as the countertop, and a bag of sugar had managed to fall onto the floor spilling its contents everywhere. "How did such a little boy manage to make such a big mess?" He asked.

Jamie shrugged. "I don't know. It just sort of happened."

Julian had made Jamie help him clean up the kitchen before proceeding to make a new cake because there was no way for them to work efficiently in the messy kitchen. As they waited for the new cake to bake, he and Jamie sat at the kitchen counter playing go fish.

"Do you have any sevens?" Jamie asked.

Julian shook his head. "Go fish."

Jamie sighed as he reached for a card. "You know, when me and Aunt Brooke play she lets me win." He said as he gestured to Julian's big pile of matching cards and then to his pile of three matches.

"Maybe Aunt Brooke is just really bad at go fish." Julian shrugged.

"I don't think so." Jamie argued. "Your turn."

Julian placed his hand of cards down on the counter. "I'm not really in the mood to play anymore."

Jamie smiled. "Me either. I was kind of hoping we could talk."

"Really?" Julian grinned. "What about?"

"Well, momma told me that you and Aunt Brooke are going to get married soon and that's why she has a pretty ring on her finger so I was wondering if I should start calling you Uncle Julian now or wait until after you marry my Aunt Brooke."

"You can start calling me that anytime you want, buddy." He smiled.

Jamie's eyes lit up. "Really?"

He nodded. "Anytime."

"You're going to be the coolest uncle ever!" Jamie exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Julian.

"Even cooler than Uncle Lucas or Uncle Skills?"

Jamie nodded. "You have all that cool movie stuff to play with and you live with the coolest aunt in the whole wide world! Uncle Lucas and Uncle Skills really aren't that fun, all they do is coach basketball."

The timer on the oven chimed and Jamie sprung to his feet as he raced over to the oven and opened it. "Hold on, Jamie." Julian said as he reached for the potholders. "The last thing we need is for you to burn yourself and then your parents would hate me and then we'd never see each other again because they wouldn't be able to trust me."

Jamie stared at him. "That could happen?"

Julian smiled at his innocence. "No, I was just being overdramatic."

"Oh," he sighed as he looked at the cake. "Can we frost it now?"

"We have to wait for it to cool first."

"This is a long process, huh?" Jamie asked as he walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

Julian nodded as he joined him. "Why did you want to make Aunt Brooke a cake in the first place?"

"Because cake makes her happy just like you, me and Sarah make her happy so I thought it would be nice to make one for her." He shrugged. "And we always have cake when big things happen and you giving her that pretty ring is a big thing. At least that's what my momma said to my daddy. She said it was a big step on your part and she's surprised Aunt Brooke took the ring."

Julian stared at Jamie as several thoughts ran through his head. "What else did your mom say to your dad?"

"I can't remember. I was supposed to be sleeping but I was listening to them talk instead." He sighed. "Don't tell them that though because I always get in trouble for leaves dropping."

"I won't." Julian assured him. "And it's eavesdropping by the way."

"Oh." Jamie nodded. "Did I make you mad?" He asked as he had noticed the sudden change in Julian's disposition.

"No, you didn't do anything."

"Can we frost the cake now?"

Julian smiled. "Why don't you and I go and find Aunt Brooke and Sarah down on the beach and hang out with them while the cake cools and then we can all come back up here and frost it together? How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan." Jamie grinned as he turned around for Julian to untie his apron.

--

Jess had been in Tree Hill for six days and Lucas was the only one who knew she was there. She had refused to let him tell anyone that she was in town because she said she needed to take care of a few things before Brooke and Julian found out she was back. "Luke?" Jess called as he got dressed in the next room. "I think we need to go grocery shopping."

Lucas emerged from the bedroom as he buttoned his shirt. "No we don't. There's plenty of food in this place."

"Really?" Jess asked as she opened the fridge and several cupboards to reveal no food. "Because I see nothing."

Lucas smiled. "Well I guess we'll have to go grocery shopping later on."

"Why not now?" Jess pouted. "I'm hungry. And besides, I want to show you something on the way."

Lucas cocked his head to the side. "And what would that be?"

"A surprise." She smiled.

--

"I don't think she likes it." Jamie said as he watched Sarah crinkle up her face when she tasted the frosting. All four of them sat together as they picked at the vanilla frosted cake with their forks.

"How could she not like frosting?" Brooke asked in disbelief. "This is some of the best stuff on the planet. I could eat a whole can all by itself."

"That's disgusting." Julian laughed.

"I've done it before." She shrugged. "When I was younger, Peyton would buy me a can of frosting on my birthday as a present."

Julian glanced at Jamie who shook his head. "She's telling the truth, Uncle Julian." Jamie said sadly. "It's gross, huh?"

Julian nodded. "She would seriously buy you that as a present?"

"Yep," Brooke smiled. "She'd buy me other presents of course, but she'd always wrap the can of vanilla frosting up with a nice little bow."

"I don't know which is worse; you eating a whole can of frosting by itself or Peyton buying it as a present enabling you to do so." Julian laughed.

"I wish momma would let me do this at our house." Jamie said as he motioned to where the four of them were sitting, on top of the dining room table.

"If your mom let you do everything Aunt Brooke lets you do then you wouldn't like coming over here as much because it wouldn't be fun." Julian tried to reason.

"I guess you're right." Jamie nodded. "When's Sam coming home?"

"She's spending the night at her grandma's house." Brooke answered before taking a bite of cake.

"Your mom's house?" Jamie inquired.

Brooke nodded.

"Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?" He asked.

She looked at him quizzically. "Where you always sleep, bud, in the spare bedroom. Where else would you sleep?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Where's Sarah going to sleep?"

"You mom and dad brought her portable crib and we set it up in our room." Julian answered. "You're quite the inquisitive little boy tonight, aren't you?"

"What does inquisitive mean?" He asked as he yawned.

"Curious." Julian answered. "You getting tired?"

Jamie shook his head. "No."

Brooke smiled and looked over at Julian who held a sleeping Sarah in his arms. "She fell asleep fast."

"She always does that." Jamie said. "She goes from being wide awake to dead asleep all the time. It's weird."

Julian laughed. "She's a baby, that's what she does. You did that at one point too, you know."

"I don't remember being that little."

"I do." Brooke smiled as she pulled Jamie into her lap. "I remember being so scared to hold you because I was terrified I was going to break you."

Jamie turned and looked up at his aunt. "You thought you were going to break me?"

Brooke nodded. "You were just so small and little and you were the first baby I had ever held. Your dad practically had to carry me into your mom's hospital room because I was just so nervous."

"But you're not anymore. You hold Sarah just like momma and daddy hold her and you didn't break me and you haven't broken her yet." Jamie observed. "I think you should go get a baby."

"Jamie," Julian said but was cut off by Brooke placing her hand on his arm and nodding.

"It doesn't work like that, sweetheart." She said gently.

"I know you have a hard time getting babies in your belly, Uncle Julian told me, but why can't you go and get a baby from a store?"

Brooke glanced over at Julian; she didn't know he had spoken to her godson about the fact that she couldn't have kids. "I can't go into a store and buy a baby like I buy a gallon of milk, it doesn't work like that." She said.

"Yes it does." Jamie argued. "My friend Billy came from a place where lots of babies are. His parents chose him out of all the rest of the babies, why don't you go do that?"

"Your friend Billy was adopted, Jamie, and adoption can be a long process. And sometimes it doesn't work out for the adoptive parents because sometimes the parents of the baby decide they don't want to give the baby up for adoption so if that happened, me and Uncle Julian would be really sad because we would have really wanted that baby." She said. "Do you understand?"

"Not really." Jamie said as he shook his head. "I just want you to have a baby and be happy but you and Uncle Julian and momma and daddy keep talking about how its not that easy and that you can't get a baby to grow in your belly and I don't understand why you can't. Momma had me and Sarah and Peyton had Connor and now she has another baby in her belly. Why can't you?"

Julian noticed the shocked look on his fiancée's face. "He does a lot of eavesdropping when he's supposed to be sleeping."

Brooke nodded, she still felt uncomfortable that Nathan and Haley talked about her condition but they were like family so it made sense for them to be so concerned. She breathed in deeply before opening up to Jamie. "There's a part inside of me that's broken, it doesn't work like your mom's or Peyton's because it never has and that's why I can't have a baby grow inside of me as easily as they can. Your Uncle Julian and I want a baby really badly and we're going to try really hard to have one, okay? You shouldn't be worried about this though, this is grown-up stuff and you're too little and cute to have to be worrying about this now."

"I just feel bad for you." He said as he looked up at her. "I want you to have a baby so you can be happy."

"I don't need a baby to be happy." She said softly. "I have you and Sarah and Connor and Aunt Peyton's baby will be here soon. Babies surround me and it's nice to be able to give them back to their mommies when they start crying or getting fussy. I also have your Uncle Julian who I love very much and he makes me really happy. I have Sam and my mom and your mom and dad, and Uncle Luke and Jess…I have a lot of people in my life that make me really happy, Jamie. I don't need a baby to make me happy because I already am but I would welcome one into my life with open arms if the opportunity arose.

Jamie nodded as he yawned again.

"Do you understand now?" She asked.

"I guess so. It's just really confusing and I feel really bad that you can't get a baby in your belly as easily as momma and Peyton." He said.

"Why don't you call her Aunt Peyton anymore?" Brooke asked.

"Because she's not married to Uncle Lucas anymore." He said simply. "And don't try to change the subject, missy."

She smiled. "I wasn't, I was just curious just like you've been all night tonight. You're pretty nosy."

"I am not!" He exclaimed defensively.

Julian grinned. "It's okay, you got it from your Aunt Brooke."

"Hey!" Brooke cried. "That's not nice!"

"It's the truth." Julian shrugged.

--

A little while later, after Jamie had been tucked into bed and had a story read to him by both Brooke and Julian, they lay in bed listening to Sarah breath beside them in her crib. "He's a handful." She said softly as she absent-mindedly ran her fingers up and down his arm, which was wrapped around her.

"He reminds me of you." He replied.

"Because he's nosy and inquisitive twenty-four-seven?"

He laughed softly. "That and because he's just so damn compassionate and empathetic towards others. He wants to see you have a baby so badly."

She nodded. "He's so innocent and naïve to it all, though. If only it could all really be that simple."

"It can be." Julian argued.

"Julian—"

"Your eggs don't properly mature enough to be fertilized, so what? All we need to do is find something that will make them mature and then we'll have a baby, Brooke. We're over thinking all of this when the answer is as clear as day."

"That's what can be done in most cases. Jess said I'm not most cases and a hormone regulator wouldn't work." Brooke argued.

"You haven't tried a hormone regulator yet though, what if you're that one in a million case where it actually works? What if it's that simple?" He asked.

"What if it's not?"

"Then we keep trying until we figure out what's going to work." He shrugged. "I'm not giving up on this dream of ours. I've already told you I'm refusing to settle for anything less than what we've always wanted."

She looked at him for a few minutes before speaking. "When Haley and Nathan get back we're going to go out to visit Jess again, okay?"

He smiled. "Okay."

"Brooke?" He whispered a little while later. He didn't know if she had fallen asleep or if she was still wide awake like he was.

"Hmm?"

"I need to ask you something and I don't want you to get mad."

"Okay," She replied warily.

"Why'd you say yes?"

"To what?" She asked.

"When I asked you to marry me."

She turned to face him. "Because I love you."

"Why else?"

"Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you and because you bring me back up when I get down on myself like you just did a little while ago. I love how protective you are of me all the time and I never want that feeling to go away. I said yes because I see how much you love Sam and although you may deny it, you see yourself as a father figure to her and that in itself makes me fall even more in love with you. I said yes because I can see us sixty-five years from now still being madly in love with each other and spending time with our grandchildren. I want to share everything with you because you were the first person who stayed around long enough to finally break down the walls I had built up so strongly around me. I said yes because I love you, Julian, and because you're the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I'd be crazy to let you get away." She said softly. "That's why I said yes."

He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. "Thank you."

"Why did you have to ask?"

He sighed. "Just something Jamie said earlier."

"What?" She laughed.

"It was nothing."

"No, tell me." She coaxed.

"Well, like I said, he's been doing a lot of eavesdropping lately and a few nights ago he overheard Haley tell Nathan that she was surprised you said yes and that this was a big step for both of us and that it was happening kind of fast." He explained.

"I'm going to kill her." She laughed as she shook her head.

"Don't do that," Julian begged as he rolled on top of her. "Because if you did, I couldn't do this…or this…" he said as he began to kiss her deeply. She suddenly squealed as he whispered in her ear, which caused Sarah to wake up crying.

"Look what you did." She said as she got out of bed and walked over to pick Sarah up. "You're okay, baby girl." She said softly as she rocked her in her arms.

Julian lay in bed watching the graceful way in which Brooke rocked Sarah to get her to stop crying. He watched as she paced the room back and forth and listened as she whispered softly to Sarah, he was amazed at how well she fit into the role of a mother and at how well it suited her. This, he decided as he continued to admire her, was something he wanted with all of his being.

--

Review please!!


	19. Expose

**I just want to thank everyone who took the time to review the last chapter. All of the ideas that were presented really helped me and gave me an idea of what to set up for a few chapters down the road so thank you for that. I'd love more if you have any!!**

**Enjoy!! **

Chapter Nineteen: Expose

She'd seen them in the grocery store laughing and giggling as they moved down the aisle together with the cart. They looked happy and in love and in a way she was envious of them. She knew she had Jack and he loved her more than life itself but lately they hadn't been spending a lot of time together because his foster parents wouldn't allow it. They had called her a bad influence on their son and she, for the life of her, couldn't figure out why they had deemed her that. She hadn't told Brooke yet which was why she preferred to stay at Victoria's and at times Brooke and Julian could be so in love it was nauseating.

As she stood in line with Victoria she watched them. She didn't know Jess was back in town and even though she hadn't been spending much time at Brooke's, she could have sworn Brooke had said Lucas was supposed to fly out to Los Angeles for two weeks. Maybe she heard wrong, maybe Jess was flying out here for two weeks. She shrugged as she placed the magazine she was flipping through down. She turned to see Victoria thanking the cashier and saw that it was time to leave. As they walked out of the grocery store, she turned one last time to see Jess and Lucas laughing in the middle of the cereal aisle. She was jealous.

--

Julian had been left home alone to watch Jamie and Sarah after Millicent had called Brooke into the store for an emergency. He had assured her he'd be fine but she wasn't convinced, he basically had to push her out the front door.

"Uncle Julian?" Jamie said as he walked into the kitchen. "What are we having for lunch?"

"What do you want?" He asked as he continued to burp Sarah.

Jamie shrugged. "I'm kind of in the mood for Chinese food."

Julian couldn't help but laugh. "You are, are you?"

Jamie nodded as his eyes all of a sudden lit up. "I have a great idea!" He exclaimed. "Why don't we order the food, go pick it up and surprise Aunt Brooke at her store with it?"

"I suppose we could do that," Julian shrugged. "But before we go, you need to take a shower and I need to give Sarah a bath. You both are starting to stink."

"A shower?" Jamie asked incredulously. "I don't take showers."

Julian gestured to his appearance. "Clearly not."

"No," Jamie said as he shook his head. "I don't know how to take a shower. I take baths still."

"Really?"

Jamie nodded.

"Well, there's no time like the present to learn how to take a shower." Julian said as he led Jamie toward the bathroom.

Jamie stood in the bathroom staring at the large shower. Julian could tell he was scared and overwhelmed by the site of it so he carefully sat down on the floor with Sarah in his arms and motioned for Jamie to come sit beside him. "I know it looks scary but it's not. I guarantee you'll like taking showers more than baths and you know me, I'm scared of a lot of things. Remember the camping trip?"

Jamie smiled. "Yeah, you were scared to do the zip line-swing-thing."

Julian nodded. "I was, so taking a shower can't be that scary if I can do it."

"It's just all those holes that the water comes out of." Jamie said as he motioned toward the shower.

Julian smiled. Brooke would have one of the most elaborate showers, he thought. There were several different showerheads and ones that were on the sides too, no wonder it scared Jamie. "Why don't you go put on your bathing suit?" He suggested.

Jamie looked at him like he had three heads but after Julian had convinced him to just do it; he leapt up from his place on the floor and retrieved his suit. "Ready!" He exclaimed as he re-entered the bathroom wearing his swimming trunks. "What are you doing?" He asked as he glanced over at Julian who was also wearing a bathing suit and holding Sarah who was naked.

"Taking a shower." He said simply. "Come here." He said as he extended his free hand to Jamie who cautiously took it as the entered the shower. "Now stand over here to the side while I turn the water on, okay?"

Jamie nodded. Julian could see how terrified he was but he had a plan and he felt fairly certain it would work. The water began to pour from the six showerheads as well as the three on each wall. Sarah giggled in his arms as she reached for the streams of water with her small hands. When the water was warm enough he stepped into one of the streams. "See buddy? There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just water." He said as he and Sarah moved around the massive shower as she continued to giggle.

Jamie cautiously moved into the water and Julian watched as his face went from terrified to happy in just a matter of seconds. "This is so cool!" Jamie exclaimed as he felt the water cascade down his back. "It's like being at a water park!"

He was surprised at how much Sarah liked being in the water, every time he would step out of one of the streams she would begin to fuss and reach for the water. "Isn't this better than a boring bath?" Julian asked Jamie who was running from one showerhead to the next.

Jamie nodded furiously. "So much better!" He exclaimed.

"Why don't you use some soap and wash up?" Julian suggested as he handed him the bottle of Johnson's Baby Soap Haley had packed for them. "That's the main reason we're in here." He smiled.

He took the bottle from Julian and squeezed some of the yellow liquid onto a pouf and began to scrub his belly and then his back. He put the pouf around his wrist as he quickly scrubbed his face and then his hair. He took it off his wrist and reached down and scrubbed his legs and feet before turning to Julian. "All done." He said proudly. Julian knew he hadn't washed where his bathing suit covered but he figured it was okay since Brooke would make them take another bath and she'd make sure they were fully bathed.

"Good job," He smiled. "Want to help me wash Sarah?"

Jamie nodded as he walked over toward his uncle and sister with the soap and pouf. Julian had to tell him several times to be gentle and each time Jamie apologized but Sarah didn't seem to care. After they finished washing her, Jamie offered to sit down and hold Sarah as Julian quickly showered. Once he was done, he had a very difficult time getting Jamie to get out of the shower and when the water was turned off Sarah began to cry. As they toweled off, Julian noticed the wide grin on Jamie's face. "How much fun was that?" He asked.

"The funnest thing ever!" Jamie replied. "Wait until I tell momma and daddy what I did!"

Julian smiled. He was really going to miss having Jamie and Sarah around, Nathan and Haley were due home the next day. "Why don't you go throw some clothes on while I get Sarah all taken care of?" He said as he opened the bathroom door. Jamie bounded down the hallway as Julian stood in the doorway shaking his head. "Your big brother is full of energy." He said to Sarah who giggled as she reached for Julian's face.

--

Brooke sat staring at the wall. Millicent had tried calling Julian but he didn't pick up. "Do you want to talk about it?" Millicent asked softly as she sat down beside her friend.

"What's there to talk about?" Brooke shrugged.

When Millicent had showed up to open the store earlier that morning several police officers had been waiting for her. They asked her all sorts of questions about Brooke before giving her the news she had just shared with Brooke. The police had found two of the four men who had attacked Brooke the previous night. One was dead on arrival while the other one had been fading in and out of consciousness. The police weren't sure just yet what had happened but they figured Brooke should know since when they processed both men's DNA, it came up in an unsolved rape case. Brooke's unsolved rape case.

"How should I feel about this?" Brooke asked as she turned to face Millie for the first time. "I hate them for what they did to me but…god, I don't know. Should I be happy that one of them is lying in a morgue right now or should I be mad because he'll never go to jail for what he did to me? How am I supposed to feel?" She asked.

Millie shook her head. In retrospect, she figured she probably should have called Victoria and Julian to be there when she told Brooke the news. Millie didn't know how to deal with this, what answers to give her or what Brooke wanted to hear. She just simply didn't know what to do. Thankfully, as Millie searched for the right words, Jamie, Julian and Sarah walked into the store.

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie exclaimed. "Look what we have!" He held up the bag of Chinese food he was carrying.

"Jamie!" She squealed as she jumped up from where she was sitting and wrapped him in her arms. "How are you, bud?"

He smiled. "Great! Uncle Julian, Sarah and me took a shower together! It was just like at the water park!"

Brooke laughed as she glanced over at Julian. "He said me and Sarah stunk and that we needed to bathe but I told him I was afraid of the shower so we changed into our bathing suits and he helped me to not be afraid!" Jamie explained. "It was awesome!"

"I'm sure it was." She smiled. "What'd you bring me?" She asked although she already knew since the smell of Chinese food had already wafted through the entire store.

"Chinese food." Jamie said as he opened the bag and began to take the contents out.

"Hey handsome," Brooke smiled as she leaned in to kiss Julian who held Sarah in his arms.

"Hi beautiful." He replied.

"That's so gross." Jamie said as he wrinkled up his nose. "Poor Sarah, she's caught in the middle of it."

Both Julian and Brooke laughed as they pulled away from each other. "You know," Brooke said as she sat down beside Jamie. "There's going to come a day when all you'll be able to think about is kissing girls."

Julian laughed at the horrified expression on Jamie's face. "Never!" Jamie exclaimed. "That's just so…gross! Girls have cooties and…it's just disgusting!"

Millicent watched as Brooke interacted with them all like nothing had happened. She wondered how long she was going to keep everything from Julian, she wondered if she'd ever tell him. She knew the kind of person Brooke was and deep down although she wanted to believe Brooke would let him in on what was going on, Millie knew she wouldn't.

--

"Where are you going?" Victoria asked.

"Back home." Sam shrugged as she zipped up her suitcase.

"You're finally going to talk to her about your problems with Jack?" Victoria smiled.

Sam nodded. "She's my mom, I need to start acting like her daughter."

Victoria crossed the room and pulled Sam into her arms. "I'm going to miss you being here every night. It's been fun."

"I'll come back," She assured her. "And besides, we only live twenty minutes away and now you can start having sleepovers with David." Sam said as she winked.

"Samantha!" Victoria exclaimed.

"What?" She asked. "We both know that's exactly what's going to happen when I leave."

Victoria shook her head as she sat down on the bed and patted the spot beside her. "Do you like him?" She asked once Sam was seated.

Sam nodded. "He's funny and nice and charming but most importantly I can see how much he loves you."

"Really?"

"Really." Sam confirmed. "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time either."

Victoria smiled. "I am pretty happy, huh?"

"You're almost as bad as Brooke. It's like the two of you live in a Disney movie twenty-four-seven, you're always happy and everything's all cheery and lively now. It's…strange." She admitted.

Victoria wrapped her arm around Sam. "You're going to get through this." She assured her.

--

"I really think I'm the bravest boy in the whole wide world." Jamie said as they ate dinner later in the evening. Sam had come home earlier and Jamie was eager to explain what he had done to her. Brooke couldn't have been happier to see her daughter walk through the front door. She knew there was something going on but she didn't want to press the issue, she knew Sam would come to her when she was ready. Julian's eyes lit up when he saw the surly teenager drag her suitcase back into the house. He really had missed her. Neither of them were on bad terms with Sam, they just knew she needed some time to herself to figure things out on her own before talking about them with someone else. She reminded him of Brooke, he thought, as they all ate dinner together.

"I think you are, too." Sam agreed. "I can't believe that on my first night back here it's your last night."

"You should have come home earlier." Jamie shrugged. "What exactly were you doing at Grandma V's house?"

"It was just a boy issue." Sam said as she placed down her fork.

Brooke glanced over at Julian who was feeding Sarah before back at Sam. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"Not now." Sam shook her head.

Later on that evening, Jamie whispered something in Julian's ear and then disappeared. Brooke was oblivious to the whole thing however; Sam knew they were planning something, she didn't know what and that made her anxious. "What's going on?" She finally asked after Jamie had been gone for over ten minutes.

Julian looked over at her. "What do you mean?"

"You and Jamie have been whispering to each other all night and now he's gone. What do you two have up your sleeves?"

"Nothing." He replied innocently.

Jamie came bounding down the staircase a few minutes later. "Put these on." He instructed as he tossed things to Sam and Brooke.

"It's too late to go swimming, buddy." Brooke said as she looked at the bathing suit he had thrown her and at the swimming trunks he was wearing.

Jamie sighed. "Just put them on." He begged.

Brooke glanced over at Sam who shook her head. "I'm not putting this on." She said.

"Sam," Brooke pleaded. "Please? I'm going to do it."

Sam rolled her eyes before getting up and walking toward the bathroom. Brooke smiled before heading toward her bedroom to change.

"This is going to be the funnest night ever." Jamie said once he heard both doors shut. "You got everything, right?"

Julian nodded. "When Aunt Brooke took you and Sarah home from the her store I went to pick everything up."

Jamie looked outside. "And the weather is just perfect." He observed.

"The weather's just perfect for what?" Brooke asked as she strolled back into the living room in her black bikini.

"Can't tell you." Julian said as he stood up and reached for Sarah. "Sam! Come on!"

"I'm coming!" She called back before walking into the living room in her purple bathing suit. "What the hell are we doing?" She asked when she saw all four of them in their bathing suits. "We look like idiots."

"Don't say that word around Jamie." Brooke scolded.

"What word?" Sam asked smiling.

Brooke eyed her. "You know what word."

"Sorry, I really don't." Sam grinned.

"C'mon, we need to go now." Jamie said as he reached for Sam's hand and dragged her toward the back door. Julian reached for Brooke's hand as they followed.

Down on the beach, Brooke and Sam were told to close their eyes. Sam refused to do so but Brooke had convinced her that they were going to be fine and to just play along for the sake of Jamie. Reluctantly Sam finally gave in and closed her eyes. She heard Jamie whispering to Julian and she grew even more anxious.

"I think they're going to kill us." She said as she kept her eyes shut.

Brooke laughed. "No they're not."

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie called. "Open your eyes."

Brooke did as she was told only to see her godson and fiancé with cans of whipped cream in their hands. "You wouldn't dare." She said as she realized what they were about to do.

"Except we would." Julian shrugged as he charged toward her and began to spray her.

"Julian!" She shrieked. "Be careful! You have Sarah in your arms!"

He laughed. "I'm not going to drop her." He assured her as he continued to chase her around the beach.

Jamie went after Sam who wasn't fast enough to get away. He tackled her in a matter of moments and had her pinned on the sand as he sprayed her with the white foam. "This is so gross!" She exclaimed.

Jamie shook his head. "This…" he said as he reached into the large container Brooke had spotted earlier. "Is gross."

Sam squealed as he sprayed ketchup all over her.

"Give me the baby!" Brooke demanded as she and Julian stood a couple feet apart.

He shook his head.

She reached inside the large container that was full of ice and a variety of foods for the fight. "I'm sorry I had to this to you Sarah but your Uncle Julian should have given you to men when he had the chance." She said as she squirted chocolate syrup at the two of them. Sarah squealed as the cool liquid came into contact with her skin.

They all chased each other around the beach, giggling and laughing in the dark as the stars twinkled up above. They were all a mess when they finally ran out of things to throw at each other. They were covered in an appetizing mix of ketchup, mustard, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, sprinkles, cookie dough, jelly and peanut butter. As they climbed the back steps together they all couldn't help but laugh at Sarah who was trying to lick all the foods off of Brooke's shoulder. "I have an idea!" Jamie exclaimed as they neared the back door. "We should all get into Aunt Brooke's shower and get all this stuff off of us!"

Julian smiled. "I don't think so, buddy."

"Why not?" He asked. "We'd all fit without a problem."

"We would," Brooke said. "But we're just not going to do that tonight, okay? Why don't you come inside with me and Sarah and I'll give you a bath?" She said.

"I don't do baths anymore." He said as he folded his arms over his chest. "I take showers now."

"I can take care of them." Sam offered. "I'll let him take a shower while I give Sarah a bath."

"Are you sure?" Julian asked.

Sam nodded. "I haven't spent that much time with them anyways."

Jamie smiled in delight. "We should have a sleepover together!"

"You can sleep in my room if you want." Sam offered. "The bed is plenty big enough for the two of us."

Jamie looked over at Brooke and Julian. "You won't mind having Sarah in your room tonight, would you?"

Brooke laughed. "She's slept in our room for the past four nights."

Jamie nodded. "Just checking, I didn't want to be rude."

Sam went to open the door but stopped when Brooke cleared her throat. "All of you need to be extremely careful when we go inside. We're all sticky and dirty and the last thing I want is for all of this to be all over the house. Tip-toe through the house, please." She begged.

Jamie and Sam went out of their way to show Brooke they were tiptoeing; they were being their usual obnoxious selves. At the base of the staircase, Sam took Sarah from Brooke before heading up the staircase with Jamie. "This is going to be fun, huh?" Brooke and Julian heard Jamie ask Sam as he climbed the stairs.

"You can take the first shower." Julian said as he walked into the kitchen.

She surprised him by walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "I was thinking we could take a shower together." She said. "But if you want me to go first then I guess I will." She said as she began to walk toward the bathroom.

"Oh no," He said as he turned to follow her. "That won't be necessary."

She laughed as she started the shower and he noticed how she kept her bikini on. He wondered if she'd take it off or if she'd insist on keeping it on to keep her scars covered up. "Aren't you going to take that off?" He asked as he motioned toward her.

She shook her head.

"Brooke—"

"I'm just not ready yet." She shrugged as she opened the glass door and stepped inside the steamy shower.

--

"Sam!" Jamie called. "Can you hear me?" He yelled over the sound of the water.

"Yep!" She called back as she washed Sarah in the tub.

"What?" He asked.

"I can hear you!" She yelled.

"Okay, good! Just checking!"

Sam shook her head. "Your brother's a silly boy." She cooed at the baby she held in her arms. Sarah was pretty much clean but every time Sam went to take her out of the warm bath water, she would start to fuss. It was obvious how much she loved the water but Sam viewed it as a problem, Sarah was beginning to turn into a prune and it was time for her to get out. She was fairly certain Jamie had turned into a prune as well because he had been in the shower for more than twenty minutes. "Jamie!" She called. "I'm going to dress Sarah in her pajamas and put her down in her crib and by the time I've finished all that you better be out of the shower, okay?"

"Okay!" He yelled back.

--

He stood with his arms wrapped around her as the water cascaded down their skin. All the remnants of the food fight had long since washed down the drain they stood over. All that remained was her bathing suit. He lifted her chin so that she was looking up at him. "It's okay." He whispered as water ran down his face. She shook her head. He couldn't tell if it was a mixture of water and tears running down her face or just water from the shower. He went to pull her close but she pulled away. She slowly turned around so that her back was facing him and he watched as she pulled her wet hair off of the back of her neck. "Untie it." She said softly, referring to the material that was tied together behind her neck. His hands gently rubbed her back before moving to untie her bathing suit. He watched as she pulled the bathing suit away from her skin and placed it on the floor of the shower. He could sense how nervous and panicked she was as she stood with her back still to him. "I'm right here." He said softly as he reached up to touch her arm as the water continued to rain down on them. She turned around with her hands cupped over her chest and her head down. He took three steps toward her before gently placing two of his fingers below her chin and lifting her face up. Once she was looking at him he rested his forehead against hers. "It's okay." He said again. He wasn't expecting her to do what she did next but as she dropped her hands down by her side she lifted her head up and kissed him deeply. She pulled away from the kiss and kept her hands by her side completely exposing her body to him. "This is who I am now." She said softly. He nodded as he pulled her against his chest. "I love you." He whispered in her ear as he held her in his arms as the water ran down their skin.

It wasn't the least bit sexual and she knew they had yet to be intimate with each other, but as she stood in his arms in the steaming shower she couldn't help but feel proud of what she had just done. She was able to overcome her fear of him seeing her so exposed and vulnerable. It was fitting that she did so in the shower because just as all the food remnants washed down the drain so did everything that had been holding her back.

--

Review please!!


	20. Save

Chapter Twenty: Save 

Jess sighed as she rolled over to face Lucas in bed. She watched his eyes flutter open and she smiled when she saw him grin. "Morning beautiful." He said as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Good morning." She smiled. "Today's the day."

Lucas turned to face her. "You're going to tell Brooke?"

Jess nodded.

Lucas wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "It's about time."

--

Brooke woke to the sound of a plate breaking on the tile floor followed by another and then she heard the cabinets slam shut. She groaned as she sat up in bed before reaching for her robe and tying it around her small frame. Julian had left earlier that morning to tend to some work at the office leaving just her and Sam in the house. "Some of us are trying to sleep, you know." She said groggily as she walked into the kitchen. Her features softened when she saw Sam leaning against the counter, crying. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She asked as she rushed over.

Sam pushed away from the counter as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Nothing." She sniffled.

"Sam, you've been home for a week and we still haven't talked." Brooke said gently. "I've tried giving you space but I can't do that anymore. You're angry and bitter and I don't know why. Talk to me." She begged.

Sam shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." She smiled as she motioned to the breakfast table.

Sam sunk down in her seat across from Brooke and stared at her. Where was she supposed to start? "They hate me." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Who hates you?" Brooke asked.

"Jack's foster parents. They hate him too, but…" She trailed off as she began to play with the place mat in front of her.

Brooke reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Sam's. "Sweetie, the only way I can help you is if you tell me what's going on."

She sighed. "Carol walked in on us a couple weeks ago and she just lost it."

"Walked in on you having sex?" Brooke asked warily.

Sam nodded. "Carol and Tim weren't supposed to be home until later that night but they came home early because she started feeling sick. We thought we had the house to ourselves so we were downstairs in the living room doing it when they walked in the front door." She sighed as she leaned back in the chair. "Carol started screaming at both of us and…"

Brooke remained quiet knowing Sam would finish when she was ready.

She looked up at Brooke as she struggled to hold back the tears that had welled in her eyes. "She called me a bad influence on Jack because he had never had sex before he met me and that I was just using him for sex. She said I was better off dropping out of school and becoming a prostitute because I clearly had nothing else going for me…"

Brooke wrapped her arms around Sam and held her as she cried. Sam was still trying to explain what Carol had said but Brooke couldn't understand any of it; she was crying too hard and all of her words were running together. "Shhhhh," Brooke whispered into her hair. "You're okay."

It took a little while for Sam's tears to subside but Brooke held her until they were gone. They had since moved into the living room onto the couch and Brooke had asked Sam if she could ask a question.

"Were you ready to have sex with him again?" Brooke asked softly as she played with Sam's hair as she lay in her arms.

She nodded. "I was scared but I just love him so much. I needed to feel how good it felt again, you know?"

Brooke didn't reply. Instead, she changed the subject. "So how have things been between the two of you lately?"

"Carol and Tim pretty much have him under house arrest. The only time he's able to leave the house is for school and when he has to work. I'm not allowed to go near him as long as he lives under their roof." She sighed. "I know he wants to be with me, I know he still loves me but it's just hard being away from him. The only reason he's given into their demands is because he knows if he leaves he'll just be placed back in the group home until he's eighteen and his birthday isn't until next January. That's eight months away, Brooke."

"When was the last time you talked to him?"

"Three weeks ago. Carol caught him talking on his cell phone to me so ever since then Tim checks it every night to see who's called Jack and whom Jack has called. He's in a living hell."

She nodded at her words. What was she supposed to say to make Sam feel better? She quietly whispered the only words that came to mind. "He's going to be okay, sweetheart. He's a strong boy."

Later that afternoon Sam had agreed to watch Jamie and Sarah while Nathan and Haley ran to the grocery store, which left Brooke home alone with her thoughts. Thoughts about whether or not to tell Julian what Millicent had told her a week ago. Thoughts about whether it was the right time to try to have sex with Julian. Thoughts about whether Sam was going to be okay for the next eight months without Jack. Thoughts about whether Jack was going to be okay without Sam.

--

She knocked ferociously on the front door until he finally answered. "Get your stuff." She said as she pushed her way into the house.

He stared at her in utter confusion. "What's going on?"

"Just go and pack as much of your stuff as you can and meet me in the car, okay?" She said as she looked around the house. "Where are they?"

"In the kitchen." He said as he motioned toward the back of the house before bounding up the staircase.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She asked as she sauntered into the kitchen.

They both looked up at the stranger in their home. "Who are you?" The man asked.

"Brooke Davis, Sam's mother." She replied.

The woman looked at Brooke with disgust. "Oh." She replied as she went back to reading the newspaper.

"Excuse me," Brooke said as she grabbed the paper out of the woman's hand. "I asked you a question."

The woman looked at her husband horrified.

Brooke sighed in aggravation. "Who the hell do you think you are getting off on telling my daughter she's a bad influence on Jack? Who are you to say she's a misfit and a nobody and that she's going absolutely nowhere in her life? How the hell can you justify telling my seventeen-year-old daughter that she's better off becoming a prostitute because she has nothing else going for her? How can you say that to the girl who has done nothing but love the boy you've been taking care of for the past two years?"

Carol's face was red with anger. "I walked in on them having sex! What would you do if you had walked in on them?"

"I would have told them to put their damn clothes back on and get into the kitchen because we obviously need to talk. Yeah, I would be pissed but I wouldn't ever say what you said to my daughter. They're young and they're going to do stupid things but they need guidance from us, not you screaming at them telling them they're horrible people and that they have nothing going for them." Brooke said as she shook her head. "I know you've always thought of Jack as a problem child, the one who can't do anything right. I can see right now how much you despise him and that's not fair to him. He's done nothing but try to please you but you don't care. I don't understand why you saw yourselves fit to be foster parents in the first place. Most of the kids in the system are so damaged and so destroyed because they were robbed of their childhood for whatever reason and placed in a group home waiting for someone to save them. You didn't save Jack. You just gave him a roof over his head and a meal here and there because you felt sorry for him. You never tried to get to know him; you never went out of your way to be kind to a boy who has only ever wanted to be loved by someone. You don't love him. Sam loves him. I love him." She stared at them as tears began to escape her eyes. "Everyone who knows him loves him because they see how kind and gentle and caring he his to those around him. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see the amazing man Jack has grown to be?"

"We wanted a child." Tim said as he placed his hand on his wife's shoulder. "We wanted a child who hadn't spent most of their life in the system, a child who was under the age of five—"

"You wanted someone who didn't come with any emotional baggage. You didn't want a teenager because you knew they'd be harder to raise since teenagers always seem to have a mind of their own. Am I right?"

Carol nodded. "I don't know how we got stuck with Jack."

Brooke stared at the couple in disbelief. "I don't either because you definitely don't deserve him." She turned to leave as Tim and Carol followed her. "Jack! You ready?"

"Where are you taking him?" Tim asked.

"Away from you." Brooke replied harshly.

"You can't do that." Carol said as she shook her head.

Brooke nodded. "Yes I can. And I doubt you'll do anything to try and stop me because that will just cause more problems for you with the agency. I'll tell them how you've been treating him for the past month, how you deprive him of food depending on how he behaves, how you've hit him when he disobeys you. I know all about what the two of you do to him when no ones around and I doubt you want others to know; especially people who can put you in jail for child endangerment along with a whole bunch of other things."

Tim and Carol recoiled as if they had just been slapped. "We never meant for any of this to happen. We just--" Tim tried.

"Save it," Brooke said as she shook her head. "I don't want to hear any more of your bullshit."

Jack came down the staircase with two suitcases in tow. "I'm ready." He said as he looked at Brooke before glancing over at Tim and Carol. "Bye guys."

Brooke smiled as she reached for one of his suitcases before leading him out the front door. As they made their way down the driveway she slung her arm around Jack and pulled him close. "Thanks for saving me." He said as they neared the car.

She smiled. "Your welcome."

As Jack put all of his belongings in the trunk of her car she turned to see Tim and Carol standing in the doorway. She nodded curtly at them and they nodded back; it was as if she was thanking them for allowing her to take Jack away and they were thanking her for giving him the life, deep down, they knew he deserved.

--

She pulled into the driveway and turned the car off but didn't get out. Instead, she turned to look at Jack who had been smiling ever since she showed up on his front step.

"That was the most kick-ass thing I've ever seen you do." He said as he shook his head. "Well, besides fighting off my brother and holding him at gunpoint."

She smiled as she placed a hand on his knee. "How much of the conversation did you hear?"

He glanced over at her. "Honestly?"

She nodded.

"All of it." He replied. "You were pretty loud down there. It was impossible _not _to hear you."

She laughed but her face quickly turned serious. "I don't want you to ever feel bad about yourself ever again. You are an incredible man who deserves only the best and I never, ever want you to settle for anything less, okay?"

Jack nodded. "Where am I supposed to stay now?"

"For the time being, here with all of us." She answered as she gestured toward her house.

"You're okay with that even though I'm with Sam?" He asked warily.

She nodded. "I trust both of you and I think you've both learned your lesson."

He stared at her in confusion.

"People come home early a lot more than one would think." Brooke winked.

Jack's face turned red. "She told you?" He asked in disbelief.

"She tells me everything." She shrugged.

Inside, Sam was helping Julian with dinner. They had no idea where Brooke had gone but figured it would be nice to surprise her with a home cooked diner. They realized how difficult cooking was early on, which was why they decided to order food to go from the Olive Garden. They were just about finished transferring everything from the Styrofoam containers to big serving bowls when Brooke and Jack walked through the front door.

"Look who I found." Brooke said as Julian and Sam turned to see Jack standing beside her.

"Jack!" Sam squealed as dropped the spoon and ran toward him. "I've missed you!" She exclaimed as she jumped into his open arms.

Brooke smiled as she walked over toward Julian. "What's going on?" Julian whispered.

Before she could answer, Sam began to bombard her with questions. Brooke laughed as Jack began to explain how she had told him to pack his things and then just barged into the house and gave Tim and Carol a piece of her mind.

"He's really staying here?" Sam asked once he had finished.

Brooke nodded. "For the time being."

"In my room?" She asked.

"Nice try," Julian laughed. "He'll stay in the spare room upstairs."

Jack shook his head. "You don't have to do that, I can just use the couch."

"No." Brooke said. "The couch was a temporary thing when you'd occasionally sleep here. You're here for good now or at least until we figure out what to do."

"Thank you," Jack said as he made his way over toward Brooke and enveloped her in a hug. "For everything."

"C'mon," Sam said as she made her way into the kitchen. "Julian and I slaved over the stove all afternoon to make you guys dinner. It's going to get cold."

"This smells fantastic." Brooke said as she sat down at the table.

"Wait until you taste it," Julian said as he began to scoop some pasta onto her plate. "We made the sauce from scratch."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at his comment. Brooke was oblivious to the whole thing but Jack laughed at all of them when he saw a paper bag that said Olive Garden on it with several empty Styrofoam containers in it stuffed in the trash can in the kitchen. He was going to like living here, he thought as he glanced around the table smiling.

--

"Jess!" Brooke exclaimed when she opened the door later in the night. "What are you doing here? It's 11:30 at night!"

"I'm so sorry it's so late and we're just showing up here on your doorstep like this but I can't hide from you any longer." Jess looked over at Lucas who was standing beside her. "I've been here for the past two weeks."

Brooke's face fell. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked as she motioned for the two of them to enter the house.

"I wasn't ready for you to know why I was back." She replied.

Julian, after hearing Brooke squeal, had made his way into the living room and his face lit up when he saw his sister. "Hey," he smiled as he made his way over to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

"I need you guys to come with us." Jess said after she pulled out of the hug. She saw the worried faces on both her brother and his fiancée. "Just trust me." She begged.

It was a little after midnight as the four of them made their way down the barren streets of Wilmington. After driving for a little while, Lucas finally pulled into an abandoned parking lot. "We're here." Jess said as she turned around to face a very confused Julian and Brooke.

Julian got out of the car and extended his hand to Brooke to help her out. "Where is 'here' exactly?" He asked.

"Follow me." Jess instructed as she reached for Lucas' hand and began to lead him a little further down the street. She stopped and gazed proudly at the sight in front of her. Julian and Brooke turned to look at what she was staring at and Jess watched as their confused look only intensified. "Do you want to go inside?" She asked.

"How would we get in? We don't have a —" Julian stopped when he saw his sister smiling and holding a key.

"Yes we do." She said as she made her way toward the door.

"What is this place?" Brooke asked as she waited for Jess to open the door. "And how do you have a key and—" She stopped suddenly as Jess flicked on the lights which illuminated the inside of the building. Brooke brought her hand to her mouth as tears began to form in her eyes as she gazed around the room. There were pictures of pregnant women on the walls and posters detailing how fertility treatments made even the most impossible of dreams come true. Jess let go of Lucas' hand and walked over to where Brooke was standing.

"This is my new practice." She said as she gestured around the room. "I would have told you sooner but I just got the keys today and Luke and I spent most of the day painting all the walls and putting the furniture in place. I wanted it to be perfect when I showed you."

Brooke shook her head in disbelief. "How?" Seemed to be the only word she could manage to form.

"Two weeks ago I sold my apartment and the old practice because I couldn't stand to be away from this place any longer. I missed Lucas like hell but that's not the only reason I gave up everything I've ever known." She said softly. "I felt terrible after I told you there was nothing that could be done to make your dream of being a mother possible so I started researching. I think there's something I can do to help you." She smiled.

Julian had made his way over to Brooke's side and reached for her hand. "We could have flown out to California." Julian smiled.

Jess laughed. "You could have but I still would have been lonely and I still would have been missing Lucas like crazy. I needed a fresh start, and besides, what would have happened when Brooke was eight months pregnant and couldn't fly? What would we have done then?"

Julian wrapped his sister in a hug. "You always were the smarter twin."

"You're twins?" Brooke and Lucas asked in unison.

Jess and Julian both laughed. "You didn't notice the resemblance?" He asked as he motioned between himself and his sister.

"You're fraternal twins, how were we supposed to notice a twin-like resemblance?" Lucas grinned.

--

By the time Jess and Lucas had dropped Julian and Brooke back at home, it was almost three in the morning. They tiptoed into the house and quietly checked on Jack before checking in on Sam, both were sound asleep in their own beds. "You're sister's amazing." Brooke smiled as she crawled into bed and snuggled into Julian's embrace.

He smiled. "She is, isn't she?"

Brooke nodded as she began to draw lazy circles on his bare chest. "They found two of the four men that attacked me." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Julian sat up. "When?" He asked eagerly.

"Last week. Millie told me the day you and Jamie and Sarah surprised me at work with lunch."

"And you didn't think to tell me until now?" He asked. "Why would you keep something like that from me, Brooke?"

She threw her hands up. "I don't know." She answered honestly. "One's dead and the other one is in a coma."

He glanced over at her and saw that she was staring at the ceiling with no emotion on her face and he heard none in her voice. "How do you feel about that?" He asked gently, his demeanor softening.

She shrugged. "How should I feel?"

He remained quiet.

"Should I be happy or sad or hurt or mad or furious or forgiving or…I don't know how to feel, Julian!" She cried as she suddenly sat up. "A man that turned me into someone I don't recognize is dead and I feel nothing. I don't feel sad that he'll never serve time for what he did to me but at the same time I don't feel bad that he's lying six feet under the ground either. I mean I went to his goddamn funeral and I felt _nothing_ as I watched him be lowered into the ground—"

"You went to his funeral?" Julian asked in disbelief.

She nodded. "Don't ask me why because I couldn't tell you. I just…" She trailed off as she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her close.

"I would have gone with you." He whispered in her hair. "I would have stood by your side and held you hand as you watched his body be lowered into the ground. I would have stayed in the car if you had asked me to. I would have been there for you, Brooke."

"I know." She replied. "That's why I didn't ask you to come. I needed to do this on my own. He didn't break you; he broke me. He didn't destroy you and turn your life into a nightmare; he did that to me. I needed to do this by myself in order to get the closure I deserve and I know I should have told you sooner about everything but I just needed some time to deal with it on my own."

He nodded. "He may have not done what he did to me but watching you suffer for the past six months makes me feel like he did. When you hurt, I hurt. When you're in pain, I'm in pain right there along side you. When you're happy so am I. I love you so much, Brooke, so knowing you dealt with this for the past week all by yourself kills me. I don't want you to be afraid to come and talk to me about what's going on in your life because you're scared of how I'll react. I want you to come and talk to me so we can figure out how to deal with everything together. I want—"

She cut him off by pressing her lips against his. "I love you." She said as she pulled away.

He smiled. "I love you too."

She continued to kiss him. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner. I'm not used to having to share my feelings with someone." She said in between kisses.

"You better get used to it because we're going to get married soon and when that happens your problems become my problems and vice versa. We become a team for better or for worse." He said.

She suddenly pulled away from him and sat up. He watched as she pulled her shirt over her head and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. "I think I'm finally ready." She said as she looked at him in the eye.

He smiled as he pulled her back down on top of him, his hands exploring her body.

She wasn't ready. They had gotten further than they ever had before but then she started to panic just like she had done before. She apologized continuously until she fell asleep in his arms. He had assured her he understood and he did, he really did, but as he lay with her sleeping form in his arms he knew she needed to talk to someone about her inability to be intimate with him. He knew that as much as she wanted to believe and say she was fine and ready she wasn't. He got the feeling that there was something she wasn't telling him about the night of the attack, he couldn't imagine what, but he knew she had to talk to someone about it and he knew exactly who that person would be.

--

Review please!!


	21. Need

Chapter Twenty-One: Need

"Julian asked you to talk to me, right?" Brooke asked as she dug her hands deeper into her coat pocket.

Jess nodded. "He just wants to make sure you're okay."

"I am." Brooke sighed heavily as she leaned against the railing of the pier. "I've told him that so many times already. Why doesn't he believe me?"

Jess stood next to Brooke and remained quiet.

"Are you going to say anything?" Brooke asked as she glanced over at Jess.

"What do you want me to say?"

Brooke shrugged. "Something." She said softly.

Jess pushed herself away from the railing of the pier and began to walk further down it. Brooke curiously followed. "Isn't this the most beautiful things you've ever seen?" Jess asked, her eyes were closed and a smile graced her face as she leaned into the soft breeze. The sun was just about to rise so the color of the sky resembled an Easter egg while the ocean roared beneath them. Brooke nodded her head in agreement unsure of where Jess was going with all of this. "I was tired of the sunsets." She said as she turned to face Brooke.

"In LA?"

Jess nodded. "It was the same thing day in and day out. They were always so beautiful and peaceful but they weren't like this," She said as she motioned toward the horizon. "They symbolized the end of the day rather than a new beginning. Those sunsets always reminded me of what I'd failed to do during the day. They were depressing." Jess shrugged. She watched as Brooke pondered her words. "But this," She smiled looking back out at the horizon. "This symbolizes a new day and endless opportunities. This is what life is all about."

Brooke remained quiet for a few minutes before looking over at Jess. "I'm not fine."

"I know." Jess said softly as she wrapped her arm around Brooke.

They stood together at the end of the pier and watched the sun rise high up into the morning sky. It was a new day full of endless opportunities and Brooke decided to take advantage of that.

--

Julian sat in the living room shaking his head trying to make sense of the whole thing. "I just don't get it." He said finally as he made eye contact with the two sleepy teenagers in front of him.

"I already told you," Sam sighed. "I got scared last night after hearing a noise so I went into Jack's room so he could comfort me for a little while but I ended up falling asleep in his bed. Nothing happened!"

"How am I supposed to know if you're telling the truth or not?" Julian asked.

"Because I am." Sam replied as she folded her arms over her chest and leaned back on the couch.

Julian looked over at Jack who seemed extremely uncomfortable. "You guys know the rules like the back of your hands. He stays in his room and you stay in your room. It's really not that hard."

Sam groaned in frustration, Julian clearly didn't understand what she had been trying to tell him for the past twenty minutes since he found them in bed together—sleeping.

"She was scared so she came to me and we lay together in my bed for a little while which looking back on it now was a really stupid idea. I would never do anything to jeopardize what I have here with you and Brooke so I know that when you walked into my room this morning it looked bad but it was totally innocent." Jack tried.

Julian sighed as he leaned back on the loveseat. "I don't know what I'm going to do with the two of you."

"Let us off the hook because we did nothing wrong?" Sam suggested.

"I could do that but isn't that what Victoria did and we all know how that ended up." Julian said as he put his head in his hands.

Sam turned beet red. "That was a mistake. This was innocent and totally an accident."

"You think having sex was a mistake?" Jack turned to face her.

"No," She said as she shook her head. "I mean yes." She reached out for his arm but flinched when he pulled away.

"Really?" Jack asked in disbelief as he got up from the couch and began to back away.

Sam shook her head as she glanced over at Julian. "I don't really want to talk about this in front of Julian."

"Why not?" Jack asked. "He knows what we did and personally I'm not ashamed of it but I can clearly tell that you are so…" He shook his head unsure of what to say next. "I'll be back later." He said as headed out the front door.

Sam stared at the door with her mouth open for a few minutes after Jack slammed it shut. "Look what you did!" She exclaimed as she stomped off to her bedroom. "You're fucking unbelievable!"

Julian groaned as he leaned back. He knew he should have scolded her for her language but he simply didn't have enough energy to do so. He only hoped that Brooke's morning was going better than his.

--

"Do you want to know why I'm in the profession I'm in?" Jess asked as she scooped up a handful of sand.

Brooke nodded and watched as she released the sand slowly. "Sure." She replied knowing that the more Jess talked the less she would have to.

Jess took a deep breath before opening up. She told her about Will and the wedding and the unplanned pregnancy. She told her about the abortion and about the way Will had died. They both had tears in their eyes by the time Jess had finished.

"I regret what I did every single day, Brooke. I always think about what my life would be like if I hadn't had the abortion. Would Will still be alive? Would we be the proud parents of a little boy or girl? Where would we be living? What would I be doing? I think about it constantly and no matter how hard I try to force it out of my head it won't go away. But the one thing that makes the voices in my head stop is when I'm helping people like you." She smiled as she reached for Brooke's hand. "When I had the abortion I ended a life and so shortly after that day when both my child and my husband died I decided to become a doctor, I wanted to give life back to people. I still feel guilty for what I did but when a couple finally ends up pregnant because of something I did to help them that guilt, just for a moment, vanishes. I feel happy again but then I remember what I did six years ago and it takes everything I have inside of me not to run out of the room and get sick. I haven't told anyone about what I did all those years ago until just recently and ever since I did, I feel so much lighter. Lucas was the first person I told and he's helped me in so many ways since, he's there for me just like Julian is there for you." She said as she squeezed Brooke's hand gently.

Brooke knew why she had told her what she just had. She knew that they had a bond that could never be broken and Jess truly wanted her to know about her past but she also knew by telling her this she could strike a nerve within her. Brooke hated that she knew her so well.

"I know he is." Brooke said softly. "I just feel like I can't tell him certain things."

"Brooke, he's going to be your husband soon, you need to tell him everything if you're ever going to make your marriage work."

For the first time Brooke looked up at Jess. "What if what I have to tell him hurts him or makes him angry?" She asked as her voice cracked.

Jess felt a knot form in her stomach. "What aren't you telling him?"

"I knew the four men who attacked me." She said her voice barely above a whisper.

--

Nathan opened the door and was surprised to see Julian standing on his doorstep. "What's up, man?" He asked as he adjusted Sarah on his hip.

"I needed to get out of the house." Julian replied as he made his way past Nathan and into the house. "Do you have any beer in the fridge?"

"It's not even nine o'clock in the morning." Nathan laughed as he glanced down at his watch.

Julian poked around in the fridge before shutting the door. "Screw the beer. I need the hard stuff. Got any vodka?" He asked as he began rummaging through the cabinets looking for the liquor.

Nathan placed his hand on the cabinet Julian was about to open preventing him from doing so. "What's going on?" He asked.

Julian sighed as he backed away from the cabinet and collapsed on one of the bar stools in the kitchen.

"I screwed up with Sam earlier." He admitted. "I mean I royally screwed up with her. I'm pretty sure I broke her and Jack up that's how badly I fucked up."

Sarah giggled in Nathan's arms as she stared at Julian which caused both of them to laugh at her. "Want to start from the beginning?" Nathan asked as he placed Sarah down in her playpen a few feet away in the living room.

Julian shook his head but then nodded. "I don't think I'm going to be a good dad." He said.

"Sure you will." Nathan assured him as he walked back into the kitchen.

"No," Julian said as he shook his head again. "You weren't there this morning. You didn't see the hurt in Sam's eyes when I told her I didn't believe her or the look on her face after Jack stormed out. I tried going into her room a little while after but she wouldn't even look at me. She told me she hated me and that I should go to hell—"

"Julian," Nathan smiled. "She's a seventeen year-old girl; she's going to say things like that all the time and then three hours later apologize. You may not biologically be her father but that's how she sees you. She loves you just as much as she loves Brooke and the three of you are a family no matter how strange or weird it may seem. You can't say that you _think_ you're going to be a bad dad because you're already a great one to Sam."

Julian let Nathan's words sink in before speaking again. "But what happens when Brooke and I finally have a kid of our own or adopt one? I don't know how to talk in bedtime story voices or how to get a crying baby to calm down and go back to sleep. I don't know how to be a dad because mine was never around so I'm scared shitless that when the time comes I'm going to fall short and my kid's going to grow up and see me as a failure."

Nathan didn't say anything. Instead, he walked over to where Sarah was playing with a toy in her playpen, scooped her up and handed her off to Julian before pushing him toward the front door.

"What are you doing?" Julian asked as he held Sarah in his arms.

Nathan stopped once they were in front of the large mirror that hung adjacent to the front door. "Look at that." He said as he motioned to the reflection of his daughter and Julian. "You look like a damn good dad to me."

"She's not my daughter." Julian argued.

Sarah giggled at her reflection in the mirror and smiled as she tried to touch it. "I've seen you with her. You may not think you know what you're doing but I don't leave my kid with just anyone, Julian. You make her laugh and giggle and smile, you talk in that ridiculous high pitched voice of yours because you know she likes it, you know that she needs to have her blanket with her when she sleeps or else she'll start to cry. And you're right: she's not your daughter but she's proof that you're going to be a good dad." He smiled. "She's a practice run for you and so far, you've done nothing but love her and care for her just like a father would do."

Julian nodded as he continued to stare at the reflection of him and Sarah in the mirror. "Thanks." He smiled. "I needed that."

Nathan clapped his hand on Julian's shoulder. "I know you did."

--

"You knew them?" Jess repeated.

"I went to college with them." Brooke said as she shook her head.

Jess nodded at this information. She wanted to scream and tell Brooke that she had to go to the police and give them all the information she knew about those bastards so they pay for what they did but she also knew that if she did that Brooke would immediately clam up and not say another word. "Tell me about them." She urged gently.

Brooke breathed in a shaky breath before turning to face Jess on the dune where they were sitting. "The one who died a couple weeks ago, his name was Keith and he was the nicest, sweetest guy. He was the one who seemed like he didn't belong in the group; Matt, Justin and Devin were your typical bad boy rebel types and I was the stupid girl who fell for them. I wanted to like Kevin because he reminded me so much of Lucas, soft-spoken, kind, loving, sweet, and vulnerable but at the same time I was scared that he'd end up cheating on me just like Lucas had." She stopped when she saw curiosity flash in Jess's eyes. "We dated; me and Luke. I'm guessing based on your face right now he didn't tell you about that or what happened and led to us breaking up." Brooke said as Jess shook her head.

"You can tell me about it later. I care about what happened to you and how you knew these guys." Jess said as she squeezed Brooke's knee.

Brooke nodded and sat for a few seconds trying to figure out what to say next. "So instead of going after Kevin I fell for the boy that was the total opposite. Matt. It scared me at first all of the stuff he was in to but with time I got used to it." She glanced over at Jess before continuing. "I was scared and all alone at a college where I didn't know anyone and Peyton was all the way on the other side of the country trying to make it big in the music industry. I would call Nathan and Haley to see if they wanted to hang out but they were busy with Jamie and in school themselves so I felt guilty even if they said yes so I'd end up calling them back and telling them they could just stay in with Jamie and not to worry about it. I don't know why I did it but one weekend I called Lucas to see if he wanted to hang out the following weekend."

Jess could tell she was about to reveal something she hadn't told many people, if anyone, and the only other person that knew was Lucas.

"Matt and I were in my room and he wanted to escalate things but I told him I was meeting a friend and I couldn't have sex right then. I told him we could have some fun when I got home later. He didn't take no for an answer. He pinned me against the bed and began to undress me even though I was trying to fight him off. I kicked him between the legs which caused him to yelp out in pain and slap me across the face. I started screaming but he put his hand over my mouth and grinned as he watched me struggle underneath him." She pulled at the sleeves of her sweatshirt and closed her eyes. "I heard Lucas knocking on the door but Matt kept yelling _go away! _ Or _you have the wrong room!_ I don't know how, but he must have recognized one of my muffled screams because the next thing I know, Lucas busted down the door, ripped Matt off of me and scooped me up into his arms and carried me out to his car. He told me I was going to be okay as he drove us to the hospital, my head was bleeding and my lip was split open." She inhaled deeply as she lifted her gaze to the ocean in front of her. "I can't even think about what would have happened if Lucas didn't save me from Matt the moment that he did. There's not a doubt in my mind that he would have raped me in my dorm room. I thought he loved me but now I realize how stupid I was to believe that." She said as she shook her head.

"You're not stupid." Jess said as she wiped her eyes.

"I was." Brooke nodded. "I knew what I was getting myself into but I refused to acknowledge the reality of the situation until it was too late. Matt had always scared me but he had never scared me more than that night when he towered over me in my store and said with a smile, 'Lucas can't save you now'." She let out sound, which Jess thought resembled a whimper, before turning to her. "That's what hurt the most, it hurt more than when they burned their cigarette butts into my skin, more than when they thrusted so hard inside of me I thought they broke me; hearing him say that Lucas couldn't save me hurt like hell." She felt Jess gently rub her back. "I don't love him like you do, I haven't for a long time, but he promised me a long time ago that he would save me from it all. So as I lay exposed, aching and hurting it killed me to know he wouldn't be able to keep his promise which is why he will never know it was Matt that night."

"But—"

Brooke shook her head. "He'll blame himself for what happened and that's not fair to him or to you. What happened that night was no one but Matt, Justin, Devin and Kevin's fault. When it comes to the people he loves Lucas will stop at nothing until justice and revenge have been served and I don't want him to do anything that might tear you guys apart because I haven't seen him this happy in a very long time. I can't ruin this for him, I just can't."

Jess nodded as she absorbed Brooke's words. She knew that Lucas and Brooke shared more than just a friendship and usually she'd feel jealous or threatened by a relationship like that but this time, surprisingly, she didn't. He may not have saved her that night when she was ambushed in her store but he did save her in her dorm room and Jess had a feeling he had saved her countless times before that and would continue to save her until the day he died. It seemed as though they had a bond that could never be broken by even the strongest of hands.

After a long silence Jess finally found her voice. "Which one of them is in the coma?"

Brooke turned to face the ocean once again and closed her eyes as the warm breeze fluttered through her loose hair she had just released from the hair elastic. "Matt."

--

Julian sat at the kitchen table staring at Sam's door. He had been that way for almost two hours; she had been in her room blasting some music that Peyton had given her a few weeks ago. He let out a loud sigh and banged his head down on the glass table top in frustration.

"If you want it to be effective you might want to try the granite." Her snarky voice said as she gestured toward the breakfast bar. "It works better."

His head whipped up. "Sam." He said as he stared at her.

She rolled her eyes as she made her way over to the table and threw herself down in the chair opposite from him. "I don't want to be mad at you anymore." She said simply.

He grinned. "Me either."

"You need to learn how to trust me." She said as she leaned forward.

"You need to learn how it feels to be a parent. I know I overreacted but that's what parents do; they overreact and overanalyze every little thing which ends up driving their kid nuts and then they wonder why the kid stomps off screaming things like _I hate you_ or _you're fucking unbelievable." _ He grinned when he saw Sam smile at his impression of her. "I love you which is why I acted the way I did this morning and I'm sorry if I screwed things up between you and Jack. That was never my intention—"

"We're fine." She smiled as she leaned back in the chair. "You can come out now." She called down the hallway and seconds later Jack emerged with a smile on his face.

Julian shook his head. "You're unbelievable."

"Fucking unbelievable." Sam corrected as she smirked.

Julian and Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"I really don't like my daughter using that kind of language." Julian said as he got up from the table to fix himself a cup of tea. He felt two sets of eyes follow him so he turned around to see their dumbfounded expressions. "I would have asked you if you wanted some but I know you both love your teeth-staining, growth-stunting coffee."

Sam shook her head. "Daughter?" She repeated.

Julian stopped filling his mug and nodded. "That's what I said, didn't I?"

Sam nodded and the grin on her face grew bigger.

He popped the mug in the microwave before turning back to her. "If it's okay with you I was thinking that once Brooke and I get married I'd go down to the courthouse and sign the document that makes me your father and you my daughter but I only want to do that if you're one hundred percent okay—"

He got his answer when she jumped up from the table and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. "Of course it's okay with me." She smiled up at him. "I'm finally getting the family I've always wanted."

--

It was nearing four o'clock in the afternoon and Brooke knew she should be on her way back home because she knew Julian, Jack and Sam were probably getting worried. As she and Jess walked back to the house she explained her past with Lucas and talked about the love triangle from hell. As they neared Brooke's front door Jess stopped which caused Brooke to stop as well.

"You can't keep shutting him out." Jess said softly. "He's supposed to be the one you share everything with not keep everything from."

Brooke nodded. "I know that. I just want to protect him."

"From what?"

"All of it." She shrugged. Her mind couldn't help but flash back to when Lucas said those same words to her…when he promised to save her.

"He'll understand." Jess assured him. "I know him better than anyone on this planet so you can trust me when I say that."

Brooke smiled and turned away.

"Where are you going?" Jess called after her.

"To tell him everything." She yelled back as she skipped up her front steps.

Jess smiled as she watched Brooke open the door only to be hugged by her brother. He gave her a nod which she knew was his way of saying thank you. She nodded back. A day like today was exactly what Brooke needed. She needed to realize that Julian was going to be there for her no matter what. She needed to realize that in order to fully move past the attack she had to come clean about what happened that night and not leave certain pieces out. She needed to tell Julian all that she'd told Jess and Jess knew that she was going to do just that. As Jess turned to head toward the home she shared with Lucas, she noticed the sun beginning its slow descent and for once she didn't feel like a failure when she saw it.

--

Review please!!


	22. Love

**So sorry about the last chapter!! I didn't mean to type Keith it was supposed to be _KEVIN_. I apologize for any confusion that might have caused!! **

Chapter Twenty-Two: Love

He listened to the rain pound down on the roof as he watched her sleep beside him. It was two-thirty in the morning but he was wide-awake. He couldn't take his eyes of the beautiful sleeping form beside him. She had told him everything, she came clean and this time didn't leave piece out of what happened that ill-fated night months ago. He had slammed his fist into the wall when she told him she had lied about not being awake when they burned their cigarettes into her delicate skin. He had cried when she told him what Matt had done to her in college and he had never felt more gratitude toward Lucas than when she told him he had saved her. It had killed him to sit and listen as she explained everything to him but at the same time he felt a weight being lifted off of his shoulders as well as hers. He wouldn't have to beg her to open up anymore about what had happened, he wouldn't have to wonder if she was telling him bits and pieces; he would finally be able to help her move forward which is all that he ever wanted. "I love you." He whispered as he gently kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

--

"Hey pretty lady." Julian grinned as he sauntered into the back of Clothes Over Bros the next morning.

Brooke jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly threw some loose fabric over the mannequin she had in front of her. "You're not supposed to be here!" She scolded. "I'm working on my dress!"

He tried peeking over her shoulder but he couldn't see anything. "Just a little glimpse?"

"No! You're not supposed to see the dress until I walk down the aisle on our wedding day." She said as she walked toward him.

He kissed her as he gently rubbed her arms. "And when would that be?" He asked. "We need to set a date, Brooke."

"When do you want to get married?"

He shrugged. "Sooner rather than later."

"How do you feel about tomorrow?" She grinned.

He furrowed his brow. "You're serious?"

She nodded, as her smile grew bigger. "I'm just about done with the dress."

"What about everyone else? Don't you have bridesmaid dresses to make? Tuxes? What am I supposed to wear? Does anyone know—" He stopped talking and watched as she walked over to one of the closets and opened the doors.

"What do you think I do when I'm here?"

He smiled as he walked over and stood beside her. Inside the closet hung several deep purple dresses as well as dress shirts in the same color. "Purple?" He grinned.

She nodded. "It's our color."

"I know it is." He said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He thought back to one of their earlier dates and she had asked if he preferred red or purple when she couldn't figure out what to wear; he had chosen purple. His mind flashed to when he learned her favorite ice cream flavor was black raspberry and when she asked him why they called it _black_ raspberry when it was actually purple. He thought about the time when they got lost in the parking garage only to find his car on level six with the six painted in purple paint. He smiled as he remembered after the first time they had slept together in her bed and he glanced around the room and said _'purple walls, huh?' _Purple was a constant in their relationship just like they were a constant to each other. "It's pretty casual, huh?" He asked as he nodded toward the closet.

"Casual dress for a casual wedding." She smiled.

He glanced at her. "Where are we getting married?"

"On the beach right behind the house. I figure you and the guys can wear khakis and the shirts and the girls will wear these simple cotton dresses." She shrugged as she motioned toward her creations that hung in the closet. "Are you mad?"

"Mad about what?"

"That I didn't include you in any of this and that I'm just sort of springing it on you now that we're getting married tomorrow."

He shook his head. "I wouldn't have been much of a help anyways so now I don't feel guilty about not helping."

She laughed and playfully hit his arm. "So, tomorrow?" She smiled as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Tomorrow's going to be a good day." He grinned as he kissed her.

--

"This is crazy." Sam said as she shook her head. Julian and Brooke had just told her that they were getting married the next day.

"Crazy good or crazy bad?" Brooke asked warily.

"Crazy good!" Sam smiled. "It's about damn time you two finally made it official."

Both Julian and Brooke grinned. "Hopefully everyone else takes the news the same way." Brooke said as she reached for her phone.

"You haven't told anyone yet?" Sam asked incredulously.

Julian shook his head.

"What if people have plans for tomorrow? A nice Saturday afternoon in May, people probably have plans." Sam argued. "No one's going to be able to come since you guys waited until last minute."

Brooke rolled her eyes at her daughter's comment. "No one has plans because on the weekends we all hang out with each other anyways. They're all going to be able to come, don't worry."

Sam mimicked Brooke and rolled her eyes. "How many people are coming?"

"Fourteen: you, me, Julian, Jack, Jess, Luke, Peyton, Mike, Connor, Nathan, Haley, Jamie, Sarah and my mom." Brooke replied.

"Fifteen if your Grandma V decides to bring her boyfriend." Sam smirked.

Brooke laughed and rolled her eyes again. "Fine, fifteen."

The three of them spent the rest of the night calling everyone to tell them about the wedding that was happening in less than eighteen hours. There had been screams of panic and joy, laughs, giggles and shrills. As Julian and Brooke climbed into bed neither one of them could stop smiling. "We're getting married tomorrow." Julian whispered into the dark. Brooke giggled and kicked her feet in excitement before snuggling up to him and kissing him.

The next morning, they woke up to Sam panicking. "Get up!" She yelled at Julian as she tied a blindfold around his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked groggily as he tried to push her away.

"You two idiots seemed to forget that you can't see each other until the wedding! You weren't supposed to sleep in the same bed last night!" She scolded as she successfully tied the blindfold. "Brooke, don't open your eyes!"

Brooke kept her eyes closed but laughed as she listened to Sam lead Julian out of the bedroom. Once they left, she rolled over on her side and peered out the window that overlooked the beach. It was sunny, the sky was a vibrant bright blue and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. She smiled. It was a perfect day for a wedding.

--

She was in her store picking up her wedding dress, she didn't think anyone knew where she was but he had managed to find her. "Luke," She smiled when she saw him walk in. "What are you doing here?"

"Were you ever going to tell me?" He asked. His voice cracked with emotion as she turned to see him standing in her foyer, his eyes puffy and red.

"What's wrong?" She asked when she noticed how disheveled he looked.

He threw the magazine toward her. "Answer my question." He demanded. His voice had been a bit harsher than he had intended but he deserved an answer. He had been there that night with her; he had seen what that bastard had done to her, he had promised to protect her from all of it. He didn't mean to do this to her on her wedding day either but he had been in the supermarket picking up a few things when he saw the magazine stand. All of them had her broken face plastered on the cover. She didn't deserve to be ostracized like that. He didn't deserve to find out the truth the way he had.

Her eyes were glued to the weekly gossip magazine that was still on the floor. The picture of her that had been taken when she left the hospital the morning after the attack had been blown up to take up the entire cover of the magazine. _College Boyfriend Gets Revenge?_ _Brooke Davis: Raped & Left for Dead _read the headline in big, bright yellow letters. She stared down at the picture; countless other magazines probably had the same picture and said the same thing. She had wanted to keep this private. She didn't want this to get out. She was just about to move past all this and now…friends, family, colleagues, complete strangers…they all knew the truth.

"No." She said as she shook her head. "I wasn't planning on telling you it was Matt."

He turned on his heel and Brooke thought he was going to leave so she was surprised when he turned back around to face her. She had expected his features to be angry and harsh but instead they were soft and fragile. "Why?" He asked softly.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

He watched as she moved toward him. He began to back away as he shook his head. "I can understand not telling Peyton or Haley and even Nathan for that reason but not me. I'm the only one that knew about Matt and his cronies. I'm the one who saved you from him that night in your dorm. I'm the one who saved you that night in your store. I'm the one, out of everyone, who deserved to know the truth."

She opened her mouth to explain but was cut off by him.

"I want to kill him." He exclaimed as he began to pace in front of her. "I want him to know what it feels like to be the victim. I want—"

"That's why I didn't tell you." She said as she walked toward him. "I knew this is what you'd do. It's what you always do."

He wrestled from her grasp. "What's so wrong with me wanting to protect you?" He asked.

"Nothing." She shook her head. "But there's a difference between wanting to protect me wanting to get revenge."

He stared at her for a moment. "He hurt you."

She nodded. "But I recovered. Yeah, it took me a long time to do so but I'm okay now. He broke me down and stole my innocence and naïveté but he also made me stronger. I overcame tragedy because I had you and Julian and everyone else around me telling me that I was better than this…telling me that I can beat this. That's what I did because it's what I've always done."

He remained quiet for a while before he found his voice. "I still hate him for what he did to you."

She smiled and walked toward him before enveloping him in a hug. "I do too." She agreed.

"I'm sorry about barging in like I did; especially on a day like today."

She waved him off. "It's okay."

He smiled. "Are you ready to become Mrs. Julian Baker?"

"More than ready." She replied.

--

She stood staring out the window that overlooked the beach. She smiled as she watched the small group of people that had gathered interact with each other. Her wedding was simple, she thought, but elegant. It was never what she had dreamed her wedding day to be when she was growing up. She had imagined the big fairytale princess wedding dress, two or three hundred guests, reciting her vows in a big church with a long aisle strewn with flower petals. But today there was none of that. Just her and the man she loved standing on a simple beach becoming husband and wife with a small group of friends gathered to bare witness to their love.

"Hey pretty girl," His voice said softly tearing her from her thoughts.

She turned to see Lucas standing in the doorway with a smile on his face. "Hi broody."

"This is it." He said as he joined her at the window and looked down. "This is the day you've waited your whole life for."

"It's really happening." She smiled. "Would you mind zipping me up?" She asked as she turned her back to him.

He shook his head and carefully guided the zipper up her back. "He's a lucky guy." He said, as he looked at her standing before him in the simple white dress.

She turned back to face him. "It's okay to be scared, right?"

He smiled at her nerves. "I'd be scared if you weren't scared." He said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "This is a big step but you're doing the right thing by becoming his wife today."

She tilted her head to the side, unsure of what he meant, encouraging him to continue.

He inhaled deeply before continuing. "I promised you in high school that I would save you from it all but I failed to do so." He saw her shake her head and open her mouth to protest but he pressed a finger to her lips before continuing. "I fell short of saving you that night and so many other times but Julian, somehow, managed to pick up where I left off. He protected you so fiercely and passionately. It kills him to see you hurting or in pain. He'll lay his life down for you because that's how much he loves about you. You mean the world to him so today, when I walk you down that aisle, it's not going to be hard to let you go." He smiled when he saw a flash of hurt in her eyes. "I don't mean it like that," he grinned. "What I'm trying to say is that it would be a lot harder to let you go if the man you were marrying didn't feel compelled to protect you from harms way and save you from all the hurt and pain life seems to throw at you. Julian's not that guy, pretty girl."

At first she had tried to hide her tears, she didn't want him to see her vulnerable but she realized as he spoke to her that that was the way he always saw her and that was the way he'd continue to see her for the rest of his life. "I love you." She said as she pulled him into her embrace.

He told her he loved her too before handing her the bouquet of flowers. She looped her arm around his and smiled. "Did you ever think you'd be giving me away at my wedding?" She asked.

"Never in a million years." He replied as they walked out of the room. "Why me, though? Why not Nathan or your mom?"

"I love my mom but she wasn't there for me like you or Nathan were when I was growing up." She shrugged. "And Nathan never promised to save me from it all, you did, and like you said it's not going to be hard to give me away." She smirked.

"You're going to hold that one comment against me until the end of time, aren't you?" He laughed.

She nodded as she threw her head back in laughter. He smiled at her happiness; she deserved this after the hell she had been put through the past couple of months.

She took a deep breath as he opened the back door and they began their descent down to the beach. "Thank you," she whispered. "For getting me here, today."

He nodded knowing what she meant. Who knew where she would be in her life today if he hadn't rescued her that night in her dorm room. "Thanks for getting me where I am." He replied. She glanced at him quizzically. "Jess." He smiled.

She laughed a loud laugh before looking at him. "Anytime, broody."

He stood near the water's edge beaming as he watched her make her way towards him on Lucas's arm. He was pretty sure she had never looked more stunning than in that moment. Her simple white dress clung to her body in all the right places; her hair was in a loose ponytail with strands blowing in the breeze.

They both smiled at each other as Lucas handed her off to Julian. Neither Brooke or Julian said a word to each other, they didn't have to, the way they gazed at each other spoke volumes on its own. The minister smiled at the couple before he began. "No one knows why we fall in love but we do. It's the most basic human emotion. Everyone wants it; everyone wants to feel it coarse through his or her veins. They want to feel…" both Brooke and Julian were no longer paying attention to what he was saying, instead they were focused on each other. It was their wedding day.

It came time for them to recite their vows and Brooke went first. "This was my life before I met you: boy meets girl. Girl leaves boy. That's all I've known and all I've ever done all my life. I did that because throughout my history I've only been with people who end up hurting me so I left them before they got the chance to hurt me again. But you're different. You see the house with the picket fence, a swing on the front porch with us two on it." She smiled at him before continuing. "You rescued me when I was drowning; you saved me. You saw past all my issues and scars. You made me try when I didn't want to do anything but give up. I used to think that nothing ever lasts forever but you stayed with me…you kept us together. You make me feel like I never, ever want to give you up. Till now I've always been a quitter." She laughed when he smiled at her with that big goofy grin of his. "I'm in this for the long haul, you and I are going to be together until the end of time because you've proven that you're not going anywhere so why should I?" She smiled when she heard everyone laugh. "This is all I've ever wanted but I never thought I deserved. You changed that. You changed me." She smiled as he wiped her cheek with his thumb before allowing her to slip the band on his finger.

"Brooke," Julian smiled. "I know that I can be myself around you and that you won't judge me for something I'm not. I realized one night that so many people focus on other's imperfections but then it dawned on me that you love me _for_ my imperfections. You're the person I can laugh with and cry with, who I can share everything with, who I consider my best friend." He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Love is a funny thing for me because I don't think I ever experienced it before I met you, I never had a clear understanding as to what love was but you changed all that. You changed my life for the better and I am eternally grateful, you taught me how to love someone else but also how to love myself. I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. How could I trust a woman to love me, to give to me all that I wanted to give to her? You showed me what unconditional and unwavering love is through your relationship with Sam. By marrying you today we become an instant family that will last until the end of time." He winked at Sam before turning his attention back to her. "Brooke, there is so much I want to share with you as my wife and today we can embark on that journey together." He finished as he slipped the wedding band around her finger.

The minister said a few more things before finally saying what Brooke and Julian had waited so long to hear. "By the power vested in me and the state of North Carolina, I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Julian Baker." He smiled. "Julian, kiss your bride."

Brooke squealed as he wrapped his arms around her and dunked her before kissing her.

They had all retreated back into the house and celebrated for a few hours. Victoria couldn't stop beaming, she was so proud of her daughter and the woman she had grown to be. It had been a fun night but all good things must come to an end. Lucas and Jess had been the last two to leave and as Brooke shut the door behind them she smiled. "It's just you and me now." She said as she turned around. Victoria had taken Sam and Jack back to her condo to spend the night so Brooke and Julian could have a night alone.

"Could tonight be the night?" Julian asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

She smiled. "It just might. I feel ready."

He whisked her into his arms and carried her back to their bedroom. He laughed as she squealed in his arms and watched her expression when he opened the door.

"Julian," She gasped.

He had transformed the room into an elegant oasis. There were white flower petals strewn across the room, candles glowing everywhere and the bed had been turned down. "I wanted it to be special." He said as he laid her down on the bed.

And it was. It had taken her seven months to recover but she finally did. She let him undress her and touch her; she let him run his hands all over her body. She had never felt more alive than when he began to trail kisses down her body and explore her with his hands. He was nervous that she would panic when he entered her but she didn't. She rocked her body back and forth and within moments they fell in sync with each other and their bodies became one.

As they laid in a tangled mess of sheets in each other's arms after making love for a second time, neither one of them had felt more love or happiness than in that moment.

--

She knew it was her wedding night and Brooke and Julian probably wanted to be alone but her world had literally just stopped spinning and she needed her best friend. She needed Brooke now more than ever.

"Brooke freaking Baker!" Peyton screamed as she walked through the front door. "I'm going to kill him!"

She emerged from her bedroom to see Peyton standing in her kitchen. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want you to—"

"You knew?" Peyton asked incredulously.

Brooke shook her head, confused. "Knew what?"

"That Mike was going to propose to me!"

Brooke couldn't help but laugh nervously. She had thought Peyton was talking about the magazine cover and the headline underneath it. She knew she'd have to tell her about it, hopefully before she saw it, but she figured now wasn't exactly the best time.

"Brooke! This isn't funny!" Peyton whined. "I can't believe you knew and didn't tell me!"

"I didn't know," Brooke shook her head. "But what's the big deal? You guys are in love and are having a baby together. This is what you're supposed to do."

Peyton stared at her quizzically. "Then what were you talking about?"

Brooke ignored the question. "Show me the ring." She said as her eyes lit up.

"There is no ring."

Brooke furrowed her brow. "What do you mean there's no ring? What did he propose with?"

Peyton sighed. "I said no."

Brooke gasped. "Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer! Why would you do that?"

"Marriage would ruin everything we have. I'm happy with Mike just the way we are now, we don't have to get married just because we're in love and are having a baby together."

Brooke nodded. "But still, that man loves you and wants to make you his wife. That's got to mean something, right?"

Peyton glanced down at the granite countertop, refusing to make eye contact with her best friend. "It does." She nodded. "I'm just scared I'm going to screw it all up. Look at what happened with me and Lucas—"

"That's not going to happen." Brooke assured her as she placed her hands on Peyton's shoulders. "This is different."

Peyton looked up. "Is it?"

Brooke stepped back. "Why are you being so cynical?" She asked.

"I'm being realistic, Brooke!" She groaned. "I was just as in love with Lucas back then as I am with Mike now and look at how that turned out. I broke his heart and took off with his kid. I know how much I hurt him…I don't want to do that to Mike too."

Brooke wrapped her arms around Peyton. It really wasn't that different after Peyton had put it like that. She couldn't think of any words to say that would make her best friend feel any better so she just held her in her embrace and rubbed her back as she waited for the tears to stop cascading down Peyton's face. Julian had emerged from their bedroom to see what was going on but Brooke had nodded back toward the room and assured him she'd be back in soon.

"How'd Mike take your answer?" Brooke asked a little later.

"He left."

Brooke sighed. This was definitely not how she envisioned her wedding night; she was supposed to spend the night with her husband not her best friend. But as Peyton snuggled up to her on the couch she knew that her best friend needed her and that her husband understood. Within a little while Peyton had fallen asleep and Brooke could feel her eyes getting heavy. She smiled when she felt Julian wrap his arms around her from behind and kiss her neck. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

He shook his head. "She needs her best friend. I understand."

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too."

--

Review please!!!


	23. Trust

Chapter Twenty-Four: Trust

**FLASHBACKS ARE _ITALICIZED_. **

**PRESENT TIME IS IN **REGULAR FONT.

_"Brooke, you have to eat something." Lucas pleaded as she handed him back the bowl of soup he had just heated up for her._

"_I'm not hungry." She mumbled as she pulled the blanket tighter against her body. _

_Lucas sighed as he walked back into the kitchen. It had been three days since he walked in on Matt pinning her against her bed and Brooke was a mess. He had insisted that she stay with him at his mom's old place for the time being, he wanted to be able to protect her. The only way she was able to sleep was after Lucas gave her some of the tranquilizing medication she had been given a prescription for from the emergency room. She had insisted that Lucas sleep right beside her and that all the lights remain on at all times. It tore him apart to see her suffering so badly, it pained him to know that nothing he did could make her feel better. Her lip was swollen and bruised and split down the center, her forehead had developed an egg shaped lump and that was also badly bruised. As much as he hated to see the physical harm Matt had done, the emotional pain he had caused was much worse. Along with not sleeping, Brooke had yet to eat anything substantial. _

"_You okay?" He asked as he sat down beside her on the couch even though he already knew her answer._

_She shook her head. "What's going to happen to him?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. _

"_I don't know." Lucas answered honestly. They had given Matt's name to the emergency room doctor who had treated Brooke who had given it to a policeman. Lucas didn't know if the policeman had followed through with the attempted rape accusation or if he had let it slip his mind. "I was thinking that I could swing by your dorm room later on today and pick up some more of your stuff?" _

_Brooke turned her attention away from the television for the first time and looked at him. "You don't have to do that." _

_He placed his hand on her knee. "I do though. I don't want you to go back to living there—"_

"_What are you saying?" She asked warily. _

_He shifted nervously. "I want you to move in with me." _

_She remained quiet for what seemed like forever until she finally found her voice. "What about Peyton?" _

_Lucas looked at her. "What about Peyton?" _

"_She's your girlfriend and I don't want her to be mad at me for—"_

_He cut her off. "Why would she be mad?" _

"_How would you feel if Jake moved in with Peyton out in California with you here in Tree Hill on the other side of the country?" She asked. He considered this for a moment before shrugging. "There's not a chance in hell you'd be okay with it, Luke. They have a past together, they loved each other and now they're all of a sudden moving in together with you living three thousand miles away. The relationship may be over, they may not love each other like they used to but there's history between them and that can't be denied no matter how hard you try." _

_He shook his head. "But you're hurt and scared to be alone…that's different." He argued. _

"_Is it?" _

"_If my girlfriend can't trust me then we have a problem." He said as he met her gaze. "Have you told her yet?" _

_She shook her head. _

"_Brooke!" He cried in disbelief. "She's your best friend, she deserves to know what happened!" _

The next morning, Peyton woke up before anyone. She carefully slid out of Brooke's embrace before quietly heading for the front door. She stopped when she reached it, turned to face the sleeping couple and smiled. They had made it.

Brooke jumped in Julian's arms after she opened her eyes to find Peyton sitting in front of her, staring. "What the hell, Peyton?" She gasped before laughing. Julian jolted to life when he felt Brooke move in his arms. It was clear that he had forgotten he had fallen asleep on the couch as it took a few seconds for him to register where he was. He noticed the tears in Peyton's eyes and the little black rivers of mascara running down her face. "What's wrong?" Both Brooke and Julian asked at the same time as they sat up.

Peyton wiped her eyes and reached behind her. "I figured I'd go and get some coffee and bagels for when you two woke up. Imagine the anger and hurt and surprise I felt when I was standing in line at Merle's Bakery and saw this staring back at me." She said as she tossed the magazine at them. "How could you not tell me about this, Brooke?"

Brooke looked down at the tabloid that had landed in her lap. It was a different one than the one Lucas had brought to her the day before but the picture was the same and the headline said the same thing, more or less. She didn't want to see the anger and rage she was sure had crept across Julian's face so she lifted her gaze to Peyton who was shaking her head in disbelief. "Matt as in college boyfriend Matt?" She asked.

"That would be the one." Brooke confirmed.

"How could they do this?" Julian yelled as he stood up and snatched the magazine out of her hand. "They're allowed to print these kinds of pictures and headlines on the covers? Don't they know how damaging it is to the person on the other end? Don't they know how much you've already suffered—"

Brooke placed her hand on his arm. "This is what sells magazines. This is what makes them filthy, dirty rich. They don't care how it makes me feel because they don't care about feelings or emotions."

"That's not right!" Julian cried as he shook his head. "How am I supposed to protect you when this kind of shit is being printed and sold all over the damn country? How am I supposed to make this better?"

"You're not." Brooke said as she pulled him back down onto the couch. "It's going to be all anyone talks about for the next couple days but eventually it'll die down and then everyone will move on to the next big story out of Hollywood; that's how the business works."

"Do Haley and Nathan know?" Peyton asked.

"No."

"Brooke!" She groaned as she leaned back. "How could you not tell us? We knew him, we hung out with the two of you, we trusted him to take care of you!"

"I know." She shook her head. "I know you did."

Peyton got up and walked into the kitchen before picking up the phone.

"What are you doing?" Julian asked.

"Calling Nathan and Haley to tell them to get over here as soon as they possibly can." She replied.

"Why?" Brooke panicked.

"Because, I think they deserve to find out from you not some stupid tabloid." She shot back. "Nathan, hi, it's Peyton. Do you think you and Hales could come over to Brooke's?"

"_What about Nathan and Haley?" Lucas asked. Brooke shook her head. "What are you going to do if they stop by one night to see if you want to hang out?" _

_She scoffed. "They wouldn't do that. They have their hands full with Jamie already." _

_Lucas sighed. "So you're just going to hide out here, wait for the bruises and cuts to heal and then pretend like nothing ever happened?" _

_She nodded. _

"_You can't do that, Brooke." He groaned as he ran his hand down his face. "You can't pretend that none of this happened because it did and the only way you're ever going to go over it is if you acknowledge what happened." _

_She pulled her feet up underneath her. "Can you go get my stuff now?" _

"Are we all going to sit around, hold hands and sing cume-by-yah?" Nathan smiled when he walked in Brooke's front door and saw the small group of people gathered in the living room. Victoria had happened to decide to drop Sam and Jack off moments after Peyton got off the phone with Nathan. They were all sitting in the living room staring in all sorts of directions avoiding eye contact with each other at all costs. He noticed the tense atmosphere and realized his joke had just made it worse. "What's up?" He asked as Haley shut the door behind them.

Brooke sighed and motioned for them to sit down on the couch opposite from her and Julian. Victoria was sitting on the arm of the loveseat, Peyton on the coffee table while Sam and Jack sat leaning against the fireplace. "Do you remember Matt Riley from college?" She asked as she rubbed her palms together.

Haley nodded. "The guy you dated freshman and sophomore year, right?"

"Right," she felt goose bumps engulf her body as Julian rubbed the small of her back. "Well, he was one of the men who attacked me in the store." She wasn't surprised when she heard Haley gasp; she'd been expecting it. "He tried to do the same thing sophomore year—"

"_What?" _Haley cried, cutting Brooke off mid-sentence. "What do you mean he did the same thing sophomore year?"

Brooke shook her head. "I said he _tried_ to do the same thing. There's a difference."

"Hardly." Nathan scoffed.

Haley's eyes grew big as she started to piece the past together.

"_Brooke, hi, its Haley. Listen, I was wondering if you'd maybe want to go out to dinner sometime this week. Nathan and I aren't too busy and I think Deb's coming down and is going to watch Jamie so we can have a night to ourselves. We feel really bad about canceling on you last minute last Saturday so let us make it up to you. What do you say? Meet us at Puffer Bellies on Tuesday around seven? Give us a call when you get this message, I miss seeing your face Tigger. It's been way too long. Love you! Bye!" Lucas glanced over at Brooke once the message finished playing. "Did you call her back?" _

_She nodded. "I told them I wasn't really feeling that great." _

"_You lied to them? Brooke, this has to stop!" _

_She sat up. "I didn't lie, Lucas! I don't feel well, my head feels like it weighs a hundred pounds and my lip burns every time I lick my lips—"_

"_Enough with the excuses!" He yelled as he threw his hands up. Brooke recoiled in fear when she heard him raise his voice. Instantly, his demeanor softened. "I didn't mean to scare you."_

"_Well, you did." _

_He sighed as he sat down on the bed next to her. "You're going to have to tell them sometime, they're like your family." _

_She snuggled into his embrace. "Sometime." She repeated. "Just not right now." _

"What did he do to you, Brooke?" Haley asked.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "It's not important."

"It _is_ important." Haley argued. "And I know it must have been something really hard for you because you tend to struggle through the big stuff all by yourself." She smiled weakly as she got up and sat down beside Brooke. "What did he do?"

Brooke sensed everyone scoot closer to her as if they were about to hang off her every word. A feeling of panic began to wash over her, she was the only one who knew what happened and with everyone staring at her, begging her to explain, she felt overwhelmed. Would Peyton hate her for leaning on Lucas for support even though Peyton was dating him? Would Nathan and Haley be hurt that she didn't come to them sooner? Would her mom want to get revenge on the son of a bitch who had put her daughter through so much? Would Sam look at her with pity now that she was about to hear a part of her past that she had kept hidden for so long? She shook her head, she needed to do this, and she needed to tell her family about Matt.

"_Brooke!" His voice called as he pounded on her dorm door. "Open up!"_

"_What are you doing here?" She asked as she opened the door, she was overwhelmed by the scent of alcohol that seemed to radiate off his body. "Have you been drinking?" _

_He pushed her aside and stumbled into her room. "Just a little bit." His words were slurred. _

"_Matt, sweetie, as much as I'd love to hang out with you tonight I've got plans." She said as she reached for her purse. "You have to go." _

_He stared at her quizzically. "Where are you going?" It was then that he noticed her attire; a simple cotton sundress that grazed her knees paired with a white sweater. "You better not be seeing some other guy." _

_She rolled her eyes. "I'm with you Matt, I love you. I'm just meeting up with an old friend from high school, that's all." _

"_You never get all dolled up when I take you out." He argued. _

"_The only place you ever take me is to the local bar where everyone is wearing jeans and leather. I'd look completely out of place." _

_He stared at her. "Why don't you call up your little friend and tell him you're going to be a little late?" He said as he made his way toward her. "You need to have a little bit of fun first." _

_She squirmed as he grabbed her wrists and held them tight before pushing her onto the bed. "Matt, stop." She begged as she continued to fight him. "I don't want to do this right now." _

_His breath reeked of alcohol. "Stop fighting, baby." _

_She didn't mean to kick him between his legs but she did. "You bitch!" He exclaimed as he recoiled in pain. "You're going to pay for that." _

_She struggled to get off the bed but he was too quick. "You're not going anywhere, Brooke." He slurred as he pinned her to the bed. _

_Her eyes welled with tears. "Matt, please," She begged. "Stop." _

_He shook his head. "I can't do that." _

_She continued to wiggle and squirm as he struggled to pull her underwear down, which was why he slapped her across the face. He had had enough of her antics. "Baby, come on. You usually give right in. Why are you all of a sudden fighting?" _

"_Get off of me!" She screamed. Her face stung from where his hand had come into contact. _

"_Stop squirming!" He yelled as his fist collided with her upper lip and nose. He smiled when she yelped in pain. _

_Then, she heard his voice. "Brooke? Are you in there?" Lucas. _

"_Wrong room!" Matt yelled over his shoulder. "Try 403!"_

"_Lucas!" She screamed before Matt got the chance to cover her mouth. "Help!" _

_The door came crashing down. "Get the fuck off of her!" Lucas screamed. _

"_Who the hell are you?" Matt demanded as he yanked his pants up. _

_Lucas responded by colliding his fist with Matt's face. He was going to continue to beat the living daylights out of him but her voice stopped him. _

"_Lucas," her voice was shallow and soft. "Don't waste your time." _

_The first thing he saw was blood. A lot of blood. Then he saw her torn dress and her discarded underwear. His face paled. "Did he…" His voice trailed off, he was so overcome with emotion that he was unable to finish his question. _

"_No." She assured him. "You got here just in time." _

_Carefully, he bent down and lifted her up into his arms. "You're going to be okay." He told her as he carried her to his car. He noticed her eyes flutter shut. "Brooke, sweetie, you have to stay awake for me." He gently nudged her but her eyes remained closed. As he climbed into the driver's seat he swore under his breath and prayed that he could get her to the hospital in time. _

"Why didn't you tell us about it when it happened instead of six years after the fact?" Nathan asked, his head was still spinning.

"I didn't want to burden you with my problems. You and Haley had a six-month-old baby boy who needed your constant attention, and Peyton had just started her big internship and was so excited. I couldn't tear you away from your worlds just because mine had fallen apart."

Haley placed her hand on Brooke's knee. "That's what your supposed to do. That's what we're here for, Brooke. You can't keep things to yourself all the time and I know that's hard for you because that's all you did growing up because you didn't have a family to share your problems and feelings with but you have us now. You had us then, too, when all this shit was going on…you should have come to us."

Victoria nervously wrung her hands together. Haley's words, although true, had stung a lot more than she expected. She knew she was a bad mother to her daughter while she was growing up. She wasn't there when Brooke first learned how to ride a bicycle or when she brought a boy home for the first time or when she went prom dress shopping. She wasn't there when her daughter needed her the most and she hated herself for that. She didn't even know that son of a bitch had tried to rape her daughter in college but she didn't blame Brooke for not telling her. The only contact she had with her daughter then was through a monthly ten thousand dollar check.

Victoria looked at Nathan, Haley and Peyton and made sure she had their attention. "I know you want to be mad at her for not sharing this part of her past with you when it was her present but you can't be. Her father and I ruined her happiness a long time ago so when she saw the happiness all of you were experiencing she didn't want to be the one who ruined it because she knows how it feels to be on the receiving end. She knew that all of you would have dropped everything the moment you found out to rush to her side and be with her to help her through this. She loves that about you and I love you for that. You gave my daughter a family when I didn't know how. You cared, protected, loved and defended my daughter because you knew she needed all that since Richard and I had failed in providing that for her." She reached for Brooke's hand and squeezed it. "You are the strongest and bravest person I know. Those days and weeks following what happened must have been hell for you but you got through it just like you always do. We may not have had the best relationship while you were growing up but I thank god every day that you forgave me and have allowed me to be a part of your life now."

Everyone had tears in his or her eyes. Victoria had been so vulnerable and honest. Haley, Peyton and Nathan knew she was right. As much as they wanted to be mad that Brooke had shut them out they couldn't be; it was who she was. But the person that sat before them today was a different Brooke Davis. This Brooke Davis laid everything out on the table. She didn't hold anything back. She was honest to a fault. She was a better version of herself.

--

Later that afternoon, after everyone left to go back home, Brooke sat out on the back porch smiling. Julian had left a little while ago to get some work done at his office and Sam and Jack had offered to go grocery shopping since there was hardly any food in the house. As she closed her eyes in the bright sunshine, her smile got even bigger as she thought back to the night before.

_He had transformed the room into an elegant oasis. There were white flower petals strewn across the room, candles glowing everywhere and the bed had been turned down. "I wanted it to be special." He said as he laid her down on the bed._

_Her palms became sweaty and she was pretty sure she had gone pale but he didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he did but didn't make a big deal out of it; instead, he focused on making her comfortable. _

"_There's a little present for you in the bathroom." He said as he motioned over his shoulder. She looked at him curiously before disappearing into the bathroom. He heard her laugh through the door as he paced back and forth. To her he appeared calm, cool and collected but he was just as nervous as she was. He didn't want to ruin this; he didn't want to make her panic and scream on their wedding night. _

"_Are you ready?" He heard her call. He didn't have time to respond because before he knew he she opened the bathroom door. A wide grin spread across his face, the lingerie he had picked out for her in the store looked better than he could have imagined on her toned body. "You look amazing." He finally managed to get out. _

"_Purple, huh?" She smirked as she glanced down at the color of lingerie she was wearing. _

_He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her before leaning in to kiss her. "I love you." _

_She lay on their bed with him towering over her. For the first time, she wasn't scared of what was about to happen, instead, she felt excited and giddy. They had waited a long time for this moment and they were finally about to enjoy it. _

"_You're sure?" He asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. _

_She smiled at his concern before nodding. "I'm ready." _

_He grinned as he gazed down at her. He snaked his arms around her and unclasped her lace bra before throwing it off to the side. She helped him take his shirt off over his head before she began smothering him with kisses. Brooke giggled as she reached for the covers and threw them on top of Julian so they were underneath them right before she shimmied his pants off. She threw her hands above her head as he entered her for the first time. His movements became more rapid and he felt her tense up around him and he grinned even bigger. Her hands roamed all over his back, her nails occasionally dug into him. _

_He collapsed beside her, their bodies rushing with adrenaline and glistening with sweat. He smiled at her as the candlelight made her radiate, he noticed the big grin that seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face. "So?" He asked as their heaving bodies continued to try to catch their breath._

_She turned on her side, facing him. "I've never felt more alive in my life."_

He sat up and leaned against the headboard as she scooted closer to him resting her head on his chest. "Me either." He agreed as he noticed a permanent grin of his own had found its way to his face.

"Hey best friend."

Her voice had torn Brooke from her thoughts. "Hey Jess." She smiled. "What's up?"

Jess shrugged as she collapsed into the Adirondack chair beside Brooke. "What were you just thinking about?"

"How do you know I was thinking about something?"

Jess laughed. "It took you about five minutes to realize I had shown up. So, what was it?"

"You really want to know?" She asked.

Jess nodded.

Brooke smiled. "Just what an amazing night I had last night."

"I know, I had a lot of fun last night too. I mean, the wedding was great, I loved how it was so simple and that the two of you cared more about each other and what you were saying rather than the number of guests and making sure your wedding pictures were in all the weekly tabloids. That's what a wedding's supposed to be about and amidst all the crazy stuff going on in your life, you two managed to remember what really matters: the way you make the other feel."

Brooke grinned. That wasn't what she had meant with her answer but she didn't really care. What Jess had just said made her smile even bigger. "So what'd you come all the way over here for?"

"I was thinking that since you and my brother are now married it might be a good idea if we start working on getting you pregnant."

"So soon?" Brooke asked.

Jess nodded. "Every case is different. There's no telling how long it will take to get you pregnant, if you get pregnant, for all we know it could take three years so the sooner we start the better."

Jess watched as Brooke stared out at the ocean occasionally nodding her head. "What's your plan?" Brooke finally asked.

"I want you to come in sometime next week so we can run some tests to see if what I have in mind will work." Jess explained.

"Can Julian come?"

Jess nodded. "He really doesn't have to since all the tests have to do with you but if you want him there for support then, by all means bring him with you."

Brooke smiled as a wave of excitement washed over her. "This is really happening."

"It might be a long process but it's all going to be worth it when you're finally able to bring your baby home." Jess said as she patted Brooke's knee.

Brooke turned to look at her and grinned. "Do you think Julian and I could come in tomorrow? I can't wait until next week."

Jess threw her head back as she laughed. "Of course."

--

Lucas reluctantly got up from the couch where he was writing to answer the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see the person standing before him. He was the last person Lucas expected. "Hey," Lucas greeted once the initial shock wore off.

"Hey Luke," Julian said nervously. "Can I come in?"

Lucas moved aside to allow Julian to enter the house. "What's up?" Lucas asked as he shut the door. "Do you want a beer or something to drink?"

Julian shook his head. "I'm fine, thanks."

It was obvious to Lucas how uncomfortable Julian was and he wondered if Julian could tell that he was uncomfortable too.

"I know this is kind of weird, me showing up on your doorstep, but I had to come over here and thank you."

Lucas squinted and shook his head. "For what?"

"For saving Brooke that night when Matt tried to attack her." Julian explained. "She told me everything the other night and I realized that if it weren't for you I probably wouldn't be as lucky as I am today because I wouldn't be married to the greatest girl in the world."

Lucas nodded. "Your welcome."

It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes, neither one of them knowing what to say next.

Julian wrung his hands together nervously. "This is awkward and I don't want things to be weird between us because one day you might be my brother-in-law. I get the feeling that you don't like me because you think that I feel threatened by your past relationship with Brooke but it's just the opposite. There was a time in your life when the two of you were so in love but there came a point when you realized that you were meant for other people. You kept her safe until I came into her life just like I looked out and protected Jess until you entered hers. I like you Lucas, I really do, and more importantly I trust you. I trusted you with Brooke and I trust you with my sister. Those two are so alike it's almost scary, they're like sisters to each other and I know this may sound corny but I'd really like if we could become as good of friends as they have. I've always wanted a brother." He grinned.

"I already have a brother." Lucas said. "But I wouldn't mind having another."

Julian smiled. "How's Nathan going to feel about this?"

Lucas shrugged. "He might get a little jealous. He liked having me all to his self and not having to share."

Julian and Lucas both laughed. "How about that beer, now?" Julian asked.

"You know," Lucas said as he walked toward the fridge. "I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Julian stared at him. "Are you quoting Casablanca?" He asked dumbfounded.

Lucas nodded. "I'm a big movie quote buff."

Julian shook his head. "Nathan's going to get so annoyed with us so fast."

"Why?"

"You didn't go camping with us. I kept quoting movies all night and he got really aggravated." Julian explained.

Lucas clapped his hand over Julian's shoulder. "I'm really going to like having another brother."

--

Review please!!


	24. Destroy

**I'm very nervous to post this chapter because it involves a pretty big time jump and a lot of things have changed and may not go the way most of you thought or expected them to go but I have a plan. I just need you to trust/have faith that this will all work itself out in the end so please don't be angry with how I wrote this chapter. I still have a big surprise planned for a few chapters down the road…one that I'm sure will please all of you. **

**I'm also sorry if the time jumps/flashbacks confuse any of you. If you have questions, I'll be happy to answer them. **

Chapter Twenty-Five: Destroy

They had waited 547 long days for this day to finally arrive.

"Julian," Her voice echoed through the house. "We need to go. It's time."

Sam, Julian and Jack all emerged from Julian's office where they were helping him work on a script. "Right now?" He asked.

Brooke nodded. "Did you pack the bag like I asked you to?" She asked hurriedly as she rushed around the kitchen.

He quickly darted into their bedroom before emerging with the bag. "You shouldn't be doing that," He scolded as he pried her away the sink where she was cleaning some dishes.

"I just want the house to be perfect when we come back home with him or her." She said.

Julian smiled at her. "You've been making the house perfect for the past few months, and I don't think they're going to care if there's dishes in the sink when we walk through the door." He said as he led her toward the front door. "Are you two coming?" He asked, turning around to face Sam and Jack.

Sam shook her head. "I think it's better if it's just the two of you there. Want me to call everyone and let them know?"

"No," Both Brooke and Julian said in unison.

"Okay," Sam said as she made her way toward them. "Good luck." She smiled, giving them each a hug. Jack did the same before opening the door for them and watching as they made their way toward the car.

"I'm scared." Brooke said softly as Julian backed down the driveway.

He placed his hand on her knee. "You're going to do great, sweetheart. I'm going to be right next to you the whole time, okay?"

She nodded. "I can't believe today's the day."

He shook his head. "Me either. It's really happening."

--

**EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO (PICKS UP FROM END OF LAST CHAPTER)**

_"How do you feel about taking a daily fertility drug?" Jess asked Brooke who sat across from her holding Julian's hand._

_Brooke glanced nervously at Julian and then at Jess. "What did the tests show?" _

_Jess had just returned from reading the results of the several tests she had run on Brooke and based on Jess' facial expression when she reentered the room, both Brooke and Julian didn't think she had good news. _

_She glanced down at the folder in front of her, which contained the results of Brooke's tests. "When was the last time you had your period?" She asked. _

_Brooke shrugged. "It's been a while, I guess. I can't remember." _

_Jess raised her eyebrows. "You didn't think to talk to me or your primary physician about that?"_

"_I didn't really think much of it I mean, I miss my period all the time due to stress and stuff like that. It's really not that uncommon for me." Brooke explained. _

_Jess folded her hands and sighed. "But it _is_ uncommon, Brooke. You're not supposed to skip around in your cycle. You're supposed to have one every 21-35 days."_

_She shrugged. "This is the way it's always been for me for as long as I can remember. When I told my doctor about it he just chalked it up to stress and put me on birth control to try and help regulate the cycles." _

_Julian was confused as he looked from his wife to his sister, both of their expressions unreadable. "What does this all have to do with the test results?" He asked. _

"_Brooke can't ovulate unless she has her period." _

_He shook his head. "Well can't you just put her on the pill or something so that she has it?" _

"_It's not that simple. She's currently on birth control pills and they don't seem to be regulating her cycle because she's not even having one." Jess said. "Brooke, I want you to throw the birth control away and don't get it refilled at the pharmacy." _

"_You're taking me off the pill?" _

_Jess nodded. "I want to see if maybe the birth control has something to do with the fact that you're not getting your period or ovulating." _

"_How long will it take to tell if that's the case?" Julian asked. _

"_A few months?" Jess estimated. "But I'm going to give you a prescription for something else. It's called Clomid and it's a relatively new fertility drug that will help you ovulate." She said as she started to write the prescription. "Now, I don't want you to start taking this until after you get your first period, okay?_

_Brooke nodded. "Just fill it and keep it in the cabinet?" _

"_Right." Jess said as she handed the prescription to her. "And I want to see you back here in about three to four weeks." _

**TWELVE MONTHS AGO**

_Within two weeks of stopping her birth control, she got her period. Julian laughed when she came running into their bedroom, beaming and explaining that she had finally gotten it. That morning, she took her first dose of Clomid before calling Jess to fill her in. Jess had smiled at the news and told her that about 40-45% of couples got pregnant within the first six months of treatment with Clomid._

_Brooke and Julian weren't that 40-45%._

_"I don't want to keep taking it if it's not going to get me pregnant." Brooke said as she and Julian sat in Jess's office for the fifth time that month. "It's pointless."_

_Jess nodded at her words. "Just because this didn't work for you doesn't mean something else won't. There's hundred of other options out there."_

_"Like what?" Julian asked._

_"We could try some different supplements or IVF or you two could try the natural way." Jess suggested. "But you should track her ovulation and not have sex three days prior to that but definitely on and after the day she does."_

_Julian watched as Brooke closed her eyes. He knew she was drained emotionally as well as physically; the Clomid had taken a lot out of her the past couple of months. His hand clapped over her knee and he squeezed it reassuringly. "Why don't we come back in a few days after we've had a little while to think about everything?" He offered as he stood up._

_Jess nodded. "I think that sounds like a good idea." She watched her brother help Brooke to her feet and put her jacket on. "Don't beat yourself up, Brooke. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen."_

_He glanced over at her sleeping form as he drove toward their house. She had fallen asleep almost instantly and as he continued to stare at her while stopped at a red light he only then noticed how tired she looked. Instinctively, when he pulled the car into the driveway, she woke up. "I'm sorry." She muttered sleepily._

_"Don't worry about it." He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before his. "Why don't you go lie down in bed and I'll make you a cup of tea?" He suggested as they walked in the front door._

_She shook her head. "Come lay down with me." She begged before leading him to their room._

_Together, they turned the bed down before climbing in to it. She snuggled up against him, her head resting on his chest. "I hate what this has become."_

_Her voice had been so small and soft, Julian had to strain to hear her. "What has it become?" He asked unsure of what she had meant._

_"Taking drugs, planning sex, being tired constantly, getting tests done every month, basil thermometers and all the rest of this shit." She sighed. "Is this all really going to be worth it in the end?"_

_He sat up and stared at her. "What are you saying?"_

_"I'm saying," she said as she also sat up. "That I don't know if I want to continue to go through this if in the end all we're going to be told is that there's more treatment options. What happens when we run out of options, Julian?"_

_"I can't believe you're saying all this." He said as he shook his head. "You've tried one thing, Brooke, and you're already giving up because it didn't work! What if the next option works?"_

_"What if it doesn't?" She argued._

_He swung his legs over the edge of the bed before standing up. "I never, in a million years, thought that you'd give up on this."_

_"I never, in a million years, thought that trying to get pregnant would be this hard. You're not the one who's being poked and prodded all the time, you're not the one who can't have kids_ I _am. I gave you the option of leaving me to be with someone who could give you all that you wanted but you chose to stay with me—"_

_"Because I thought that you'd fight for us and stop at nothing until we got what we've always wanted! A baby!" He yelled. "If I knew that you'd give up after six months of trying I would have left."_

_She stared at him as she let his words sink in and he watched as her eyes grew wide and her skin paled. "I hate this." She whispered as tears welled in her eyes. "This wasn't supposed to tear us apart…it was supposed to bring us closer together."_

_He headed for the door but before walking out he turned to face her. "Well it destroyed us." He retorted._

_She jumped as he slammed the bedroom door behind him and it was then that she let the tears in her eyes fall. She could barely see what was in front of her as she walked toward the door before leaning against it and sliding down onto the floor. She didn't know her husband was on the other side with his back to hers, listening to her sobs as he tried to stifle his own._

**ELEVEN MONTHS AGO**

_Fourteen days had passed since their argument. Sam and Jack knew something had gone down because they picked up on the tense atmosphere around the house, which was why they preferred to spend their time at Victoria's._

_Brooke had refused to go and see Jess to see what else could be done. Even when the two of them hung out together outside of her office, Jess was always telling her what to do and try. She had given her countless other prescriptions for pills, gels, and creams she thought might help. Brooke had had all the prescriptions filled and tried all of them a few times but with each passing day she grew more depressed that it wasn't going to end up working or helping. She threw every one of the medications away._

_She had become somewhat of a homebody in the week that followed. She didn't go to her store to work on designs. She didn't visit Peyton and her new baby girl. She didn't answer the phone when Nathan, Haley or Lucas called. Jess had come to the door multiple times but she never answered. She just wanted to be alone. Julian had taken to sleeping on the couch because they felt uncomfortable around each other since neither of them wanted to bring up their fight two weeks ago. Instead, both of them just swept the issue under the rug and both were now starting to regret it because they were aware of the elephant in the room that was growing larger with each passing day._

_He sat in his office, the room that was supposed to be their baby's nursery, working on a script. She sat on the back deck with a pencil in her hand struggling to come up with new designs for the spring line. She groaned as she chucked the pencil off the back deck before whipping the slider open and walking toward his office._

_"I love you."_

_Julian looked up to see his wife standing in the doorway of his office. "I love you, too." He replied. Though it was supposed to be a statement, Brooke heard his voice go up at the end, which made it sound like a question._

_"I don't want to do this anymore," she said as she made her way toward him. "I hate what this whole baby issue has done to us. I know that you don't like that I've refused Jess's help with all her supplements and IVF but I don't want to do it that way. I don't want to constantly be checking the calendar and scheduling sex with my husband, that's not the way this is supposed to happen. We're supposed to enjoy the process of making a baby; it's not supposed to be a carnal act. So what if we're not pregnant right now? We're two, healthy, twenty-seven-year-olds who are married and have a lot of time to make a baby together. It'll happen when it's meant to happen."_

_"I didn't mean what I said." He said softly as she sat on his lap._

_"You don't love me?" She smiled._

_He shook his head and smiled at her smile. He hadn't seen her smile in a long, long time. "No, I didn't mean it the other night when I said that if I knew you were going to give up I would have left you. I could never leave you, Brooke." He said as he kissed her hair._

_"Maybe it'll happen now." She shrugged. "Now that there's no more stress about needing to become pregnant and needing all the medicines to work. Maybe this is exactly what we need."_

_"Maybe." He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her for the first time in fourteen days._

**SIX MONTHS AGO**

_"Were you scared?" Brooke asked as she bounced her goddaughter on her knee._

_"When I had Hannah?" Peyton asked._

_Brooke nodded._

_"Yes and no." She replied. "I wasn't scared of the process since I'd already been through it with Connor but I was scared that Mike wasn't going to be there with me while I brought his daughter into the world."_

_"But then he showed up just in time." Brooke grinned._

_Peyton laughed. "Yeah, I wonder how that happened to work out so perfectly."_

_"I have no idea." Brooke said as she shook her head before giggling._

_"I never really thanked you for that, though. It meant the world to me to have him there with me and he wouldn't have been if it weren't for you so thank you for doing that."_

_"It wasn't a problem, Peyt." Brooke said as she thought back to that day almost a year and a half ago when she raced around Tree Hill trying to find the man who had left her pregnant best friend all alone._

**FLASHBACK TO THE DAY PEYTON HAD HANNAH **

_"Is this man staying here?" Brooke asked the hotel clerk at the front desk. She watched as the young man looked at the picture she had in her hands. It was a picture of Peyton, Mike and Connor in front of their house the day they moved in, Brooke had taken the picture._

_"I believe so." The man replied. "But you know, this isn't the old days. If you tell me his name I can look him up in this nifty little thing we call a computer."_

_Brooke rolled her eyes at the man's sarcasm. "Mike McAden."_

_"Room 434." He replied._

_Brooke didn't bother to thank the man; she took off running down the hallway. She was out of breath by the time she reached Mike's hotel room but that didn't stop her from pounding on the door until he finally came to answer it._

_"What the hell?" He asked, his voice was groggy and sleep filled._

_Brooke had a small feeling of dejavu from when she banged on Lucas' door and he answered in the same hung-over stupor. The inside of the hotel room looked the same as Lucas' apartment had; take-out containers strewn everywhere and empty beer bottles littered the floor. "You're an ass." She said as she pushed him to the side and made her way into his room._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me. What kind of jackass leaves his pregnant girlfriend after she says no because she's scared? You know about her past with Lucas, she has every damn right to be scared to jump back into a marriage." She said as she looked around for a pair of jeans and a shirt._

_"Brooke, I really don't think you should be here—"_

_"Baby, I could really use—"_

_Brooke stared at the half-naked woman standing in the bathroom doorway. "You fucking piece of shit."_

_"Brooke—" Mike tried._

_"Get the hell out of this room before I throw your ass out onto the street." Brooke ordered at the leggy brunette who surprisingly did as she was told._

_"What the hell are you doing?" She yelled at Mike the second the door slammed shut. "Peyton is pregnant with your child and you're sleeping in a hotel screwing whores?"_

_"It's not what it looks like. I swear."_

_She snorted. "Don't say that to me. I've had my fair share of men cheat on me…I know cheating when I see it and you may not think you're still in a relationship with my best friend but she sure as hell does. She's in labor with your child right now, damn it! And you're here sleeping with an STD infested hoe-bag!"_

_"Peyton's having the baby?" He asked concerned._

_"Yeah, that's why I came over here. I figured you might want to be there when your child enters the world. I don't know if Peyton will want you there since you left her three months ago but you're that baby's father no matter how much I or she may hate you right now."_

_Brooke paced in the room, as Mike quickly got dressed. "I didn't sleep with her." He said softly as he buttoned his shirt._

_She turned and faced him; her arms crossed her expression doubtful._

_"I wanted to," He admitted. "I really wanted to but as she took a shower and as I listened to the water I realized that all I really wanted was someone to talk to."_

_"Why didn't you go back to Peyton, then?" She asked. "She's still madly in love with you, Mike."_

_He smiled. "I'm still insanely in love with her too I was just too scared to admit it. I realize now how stupid I was to walk out on her that night after she said no. You're right, I know about her past and I know how scared she is to try marriage again but I just wanted it so badly and I guess my pride couldn't handle it when she said no. What am I supposed to say to her when I see her?"_

_Brooke wrapped her arm around him as she led him toward the door. "Tell her that you never stopped loving her and that you don't need to be married to her to continue to love her. All you need is her in your life and you'll be a happy man."_

_"Thank you." He smiled. "Are you going to tell her about…?"_

_"She's my best friend. I tell her everything. But if you said that nothing happened then I believe you and there's no sense in getting her all worked up over nothing."_

_He looked at her shocked. "Really?"_

_She nodded. "I could tell by the way you talked about her after I threw hoe-bag out of the room." She smiled. "Now can we please get to the hospital? I want to get you there before she pops your kid out."_

_Mike laughed as he pulled her close. "Thank you." He said for the second time._

**END OF FLASHBACK THE DAY HANNAH WAS BORN**

_"It's hard to believe she's almost a year old and a half, huh?" Brooke smiled as Hannah reached for her nose._

_Peyton nodded. "Time goes by so fast."_

_"Have you and Mike talked about marriage again?"_

_She smiled. "We're content to stay the way we are."_

_"That's good to hear." Brooke grinned._

_"You can stop pretending, you know."_

_Brooke tilted her head to the side, clearly confused. "Pretending?"_

_"That you're okay with all of this and that none of what's going on isn't effecting and hurting you. I know how badly you want a baby of your own and I've tried for the past couple of months to accept the fact that you don't want to try and work with Jess anymore but I can't. You're my best friend and although you may have everyone else fooled you don't have me." Peyton said as she reached for Brooke's hand. "Talk to me."_

_"What do you want me to say?"_

_"Why are you quitting?" Peyton asked._

_"I'm not quitting." Brooke quickly defended. "I just don't want to pressure myself and Julian to have a baby. It'll happen."_

_"When?"_

_"When it's meant to happen."_

_"But you want a child so badly, I can't continue to stand by and watch every time you get let down when the pregnancy test turns up negative."_

_There had been three instances in which that had happened. The first had been shortly after Brooke began to take the Clomid. The second had been after they obeyed Jess's rule of not having sex three days before ovulation and having lots of sex after. The third had been two weeks ago. The first time she was late, Brooke got her hopes up only to be devastated when the test came back negative. The second time she was wary but still excited. The third. The only reason she took the test was because Julian had forced her to. "This could be it, baby." He had told her. It wasn't._

_"We're still going to try for a baby but we're doing something else too." Brooke said as a smile began to creep across her face._

_Peyton smiled at her friend's smile. "And that would be…?"_

**TWO MONTHS AGO**

_"Do you think they're ever going to call?" Brooke asked as she lay in Julian's arms on the sofa watching T.V._

_"When they're ready." He responded._

_"But it's been four months and we've heard _nothing_."_

_"They'll call when the time's right." Sam offered. "You have to be patient."_

_"Did you ever think this is the road we'd end up taking?" Brooke asked._

_Julian shrugged. "I never really thought about it but I'm glad we decided to do this."_

_"Me too." She smiled._

_"If my opinion matters, I'm still a little wary about the whole situation." Sam said._

_Julian shook his head as Brooke laughed._

**PRESENT DAY**

"This is it." Brooke said as Julian pulled into a parking spot.

"Are you ready?"

She shook her head. "I'm still scared."

He smiled. "I am too but all that fear is going to vanish when we see our son or daughter for the first time. We've waited the past 547 days for this to happen. That's one long year and half worth of waiting and it's all going to be worth it when we walk out of there with our child." He said pointing to the tall brick building in front of them.

As they walked in together, hand in hand, all their nerves and fear seemed to disappear. Both of them were smiling like fools when they approached the front desk.

"Hi, what can I do for you today?" The curly-haired receptionist asked.

Julian smiled at his wife before looking at the receptionist. "Judy called us this morning. She said she had a child here who we could adopt."

--

Review please!!


	25. Move

Chapter Twenty-Six: Move

He had just turned six years old. His mom and dad had died when the meth they were cooking in their kitchen exploded; luckily he wasn't home when the house burst into flames. With no family willing to take him in because his parents had burned so many bridges in their past, he became a ward of the state and was sent to Charlotte Adoption Center where he met Judy.

Judy had met Brooke and Julian almost seven months ago. She sympathized with them as Brooke explained their situation. Over the next several weeks, they met on many different occasions. Judy stopped by the house to inspect their living arrangements and talked to Sam and Jack who were beyond intimidated. When Judy had asked what age Brooke and Julian would like the child to be around they had told her all they wanted was a child whom they could love as their own.

As she watched Brooke and Julian interact with the small boy for the first time, she found herself getting choked up and Judy _never_ let her emotions show on the job but this time she simply couldn't help it. She knew she had made the right decision by calling Brooke earlier that morning to let her know there was a child who she thought would fit perfectly into the small family Brooke and Julian already had.

"He's perfect." Brooke said to Judy as she watched Julian interact with the small boy.

Judy nodded. "He's a little shy at first but once you get to know him, he's a hoot."

"How long has he been here?" She inquired.

"He got dropped off three days ago. I knew instantly that he was meant to be a part of your family." Judy grinned as she started to gather what little belongings the boy had. "Whenever you're ready to take him home, feel free to do so. Someone from the agency will be down to visit you in a few weeks just to check up and see how things are going."

Brooke smiled as she took the backpack from Judy. "He's really ours now."

She nodded. "How does it feel?"

"Better than I ever imagined."

--

"Do you think they're going to bring home a boy or a girl?" Sam asked as she and Jack cleaned the kitchen.

Jack shrugged. "What do you want?"

Sam placed the dishrag down and faced him. "A girl would be cool to dress up and stuff like that but a boy would be fun to teach how to skateboard and whatnot. It's just going to be weird having a kid in the house all of a sudden."

Jack nodded. He had moved in permanently to the guest bedroom upstairs and things couldn't have been better. He and Sam had little fights here and there but within hours they would make up and things would be back to normal again. Brooke had taken Sam to Jess to get birth control pill despite Julian's reservations. He had visited Jess himself and grabbed every pamphlet he could on STDs, STIs, teenage pregnancy and AIDS and had laid them all out on the counter for Sam to see when she walked through the front door. "This is what will happen to you if you have sex." Julian had told her. Brooke, Sam and Jack had all laughed at him and Sam told him to not be such a worrywart. They were being safe and it wasn't like they did it all the time. "One time is all it takes to become pregnant!" Julian had called down the hall before Sam slammed her door.

"Do I sense some jealousy?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to be jealous of a little kid." She saw Jack eyeing her. "Okay, maybe a little bit but I don't know it's just going to be different and I don't like when things change."

"But aren't you happy for your mom and dad? They're getting what they've wanted for the past year and a half." Jack pointed out.

She nodded. "I'm happy for them I just don't want them to forget about me. Babies and little kids are cute and funny and innocent. Me? Not so much."

Jack wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "They're not going to forget about you; they love you and that's not going to change when they bring your new brother or sister home in a few hours. It'll never change, Sam."

--

"Do you really need over sixty copies of your book?" Jess asked as she unpacked one of the last boxes. "What on earth could you possibly need all of them for anyway?"

Lucas laughed. "Each one of those copies means something different." He said as he made his way toward her. "This one was the first one ever published." He said as he pointed to one and then another. "That one was the one that sat on the table at Borders in Chicago at my first book signing. That one was the copy I read from cover to cover…"

Jess smiled at him as he continued to explain the importance of each of the books. They had recently purchased a house together and they had begun the process of moving in. The apartment had become cramped and they both realized they needed more space. The house was a modest two story colonial; Lucas had talked her into buying this one rather than a smaller one. He had told her it made more sense to buy a house they could raise their children in rather than buy a small house first and then move into a bigger one later when they were actually expecting a child. Jess had been delighted that the house was only one street over from her brother and Brooke rather than a half-hour's drive like the apartment had been.

She didn't agree with what Brooke was doing by stopping treatment but she respected her decision. Jess knew she would eventually be able to find something to help Brooke and Julian get pregnant but she understood the amount of stress Brooke felt it was placing on her. They hadn't talked in a few days and Jess felt lost; they usually talked several times during the course of the day but lately they kept missing each other. As she thought about Brooke while Lucas continued to explain about his books, she couldn't help the knot she felt in her stomach. It had been there for a few days…as many days as she hadn't spoken to Brooke.

"Hey, babe." Lucas said, finally tearing his attention away from the books. "Can you go grab that box over there. There's something in there that I meant to take out earlier."

Jess walked over to where a large cardboard box was standing. At first she didn't see anything in the box and she was about to tell Lucas that when she saw it sitting in the corner. She brought her hands to her mouth and tried to fight back the tears in her eyes. In the corner sat a small black velvet box. Lucas knew she knew what was inside of it by the expression on her face. He smiled as he walked over and bent down to pick it up before shifting onto one knee. "We've been together for a little more than two years and in those past twenty-four months I have never laughed as hard, smiled as big or lived as much in my entire life. I want to continue to laugh, smile and live the rest of my life with you as my wife. So Jessica Baker, will you please marry me?" He asked softly.

He laughed as he watched her jump up and down. "Yes!" She squealed as she pulled him up to his feet. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

He snaked his arms around her small frame and pulled her into his embrace before kissing her. "Thanks for saying yes." He whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

She smiled. "Thanks for asking."

--

"Momma." Five-year-old Connor said as he stumbled into the kitchen. "When can I go visit daddy?"

Peyton looked up as she fed Hannah. "Once he gets all settled in his new house I'm sure he'll have you over to spend the night."

Connor slumped into the chair beside his mom and sister. "Do you like Jess?"

Peyton blinked at her son. "Why do you ask?" Her voice was small and insecure and she hoped he hadn't noticed.

"I wouldn't like her if I were you. She took daddy away from you."

"No she didn't." Peyton quickly defended Jess. "Jess and Daddy didn't do anything wrong, Mommy did something naughty that pushed Daddy away."

Connor looked up. "What'd you do?"

She shook her head. "Something you wouldn't understand, maybe when you're older I'll tell you."

He huffed. "That'll be in like a hundred years." He exaggerated.

Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "Do you like Jess?"

She watched as her son considered the question before nodding. "She's nice. And she always has cookies baking in the oven when I come over. She's really nice to Daddy and to me so I guess I like her."

Peyton didn't really have a strong relationship with Jess, she thought it was weird to be buddy-buddy with her ex-husband's girlfriend but she really didn't have a problem with her. However, that didn't stop the small pang of jealousy she felt when she heard Connor's answer.

"I'm a pretty lucky boy, though." He continued, tearing Peyton from her thoughts.

"Why's that?"

"Because," he smiled, "It's like I have two mommies _and_ two daddies."

This time, the pang of jealousy was stronger…a lot stronger.

--

"We can't just uproot and move all the way to California." Haley said as she and Nathan sat on the back deck watching Jamie swim in the pool. "Our entire life is here."

Nathan nodded. "I know, but this is a big deal."

He had been offered triple the amount of money to play for the Los Angeles Lakers than he was currently earning by playing for the Charlotte Bobcats. He had until the end of the week to make a decision and he and Haley were both torn.

"Jamie's at a great school, I have a wonderful job here, and everyone we love lives within a five mile radius. The same can't be said for California." Haley sighed.

"But think about the opportunities the kids will have out in California. There's no diversity here in Tree Hill, out there they'll be exposed to all different types of cultures. I know it's not all about the money but if I take this, we'll make enough money to live off of for the rest of our lives if I play for the six years they want to contract me for. It'll take triple the amount of time to earn the same amount of money out here." He argued. "Just think about it, we wouldn't have to worry about college for either one of the kids—"

"We already have enough money to send them to college and Jamie's only eight." Haley cut him off.

He sighed.

"I know that you want to take the offer but just think about where I'm coming from, please." She begged. "I like our life the way it is here in Tree Hill."

Nathan nodded. "I know, I do too, but doesn't a small part of you want to start a new life out in California?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Well part of me does." He said as he got up from his patio chair. "And I'm the one who makes the final decision because it's my career."

--

"Did you have any brothers or sisters?" Brooke asked as she sat in the backseat with Ryan while Julian drove toward the house.

Ryan shook his head. He hadn't spoken much since he was introduced to Brooke and Julian but Brooke didn't expect him too, she was just as nervous as he was.

"Does your bear have a name?" She asked, pointing to the stuffed animal Ryan clutched tightly.

"His name is Bear." He responded softly in a voice barely above a whisper. Brooke watched, as his eyes grew wide. She looked out the window and saw that Julian had pulled into the driveway. "It's so big." He said in awe.

She smiled. She really didn't consider the house to be that big, it was going to be tight living with five people there but she figured her house was a lot bigger than his previous house. The house that had blown up. "You want to go inside?" She asked as she unbuckled his seatbelt for him.

He nodded and eagerly jumped out of the car but stopped right beside it. Ryan looked up at Brooke before reaching for her hand. "I'm ready now." He said softly as he began to lead her to the house. Julian smiled as he got Ryan's backpack out of the car and watched his wife and little boy walk up the front steps for the first time together. He winked at Brooke when she looked back at him over her shoulder and smiled.

"When we go inside there's going to be two people waiting to meet you. They're really excited." Brooke said as she crouched down to Ryan's height. "The girl's name is Sam and the boy is Jack."

Ryan nodded and Brooke smiled when he repeated the names. "Do you want to go inside and meet them?" She asked.

Ryan nodded eagerly.

"Sam! Jack! We're home!" Brooke called into the house as they stepped inside.

Julian watched Ryan as he gazed around the interior of the house. "Hey," Sam smiled when she saw them. Ryan watched everyone hug each other and he carefully backed away.

"Ryan, this is Sam and Jack." Julian said as he pointed to each of them. "Can you say hi?"

Ryan didn't say anything; instead he just stared at them.

"He's had a long day." Brooke explained. "Do you want to go see your room, buddy?"

Julian hoisted Ryan up into his arms before following Brooke up the staircase. Again, Ryan's jaw dropped when he saw what was in his room. There were toys everywhere and stuffed animals were all over his bed. "This is my room?" He asked in disbelief.

Brooke nodded. "It's all yours." She smiled.

He wiggled out of Julian's arms and made his way toward the bed. "This too?" He asked.

"The bed?"

Ryan nodded.

"Of course it's yours, bud." Julian replied.

He smiled. "I've never had one."

Julian glanced over at Brooke who had paled about three shades before covering her mouth with her hand and rushing out of the room. "Where'd she go?" Ryan asked softly.

"She had to go ask Sam a question." He lied.

Ryan seemed content with the answer as he climbed up onto the bed and began to introduce Bear to all the other new stuffed animals.

"Are you okay for a few minutes?" Julian asked Ryan. He nodded. "I'll be right back."

"Hey," He said softly after closing Ryan's door. "What's wrong?" She stood in the bathroom crying.

"He's never had a bed, Julian."

He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. "I know, baby."

"What kind of person doesn't have a bed for their child? What kind of person cooks meth in the same house where that child sleeps? What—"

"What's important is that he survived that explosion and we have him now. He's our son from here on out…that's what's matters now, Brooke." He said softly. "Don't let yourself think back to his life before he met us because all that's going to come of that is anger and hatred for what his parents did to him and that's not fair to him."

She nodded. "I love him already." She said as she looked at Julian through the mirror.

"I do, too." He smiled.

--

Later that evening, Brooke had cooked dinner, and they were cleaning up. Ryan still hadn't said much and had been extremely quiet and to himself ever since they walked in the front door. Brooke and Julian both knew it was totally normal but they still worried about him and whether or not he was happy. Sam and Jack were occupying Ryan in the living room while Julian helped Brooke do the dishes. They both watched as Ryan got up from his spot on the couch and walked through the kitchen, carefully observing the teakettle on the stove. He had done that three times all without saying a word.

"What are you doing, Ry?" Julian finally asked the fourth time Ryan got up.

"Just checking." He replied meekly.

Brooke crouched down to his level. "Checking for what?"

"My mom and dad used to make me watch the pan for when it boiled. It was my job to take it off the burner when it did."

Julian eyed Brooke. "Were they cooking spaghetti?" He asked already knowing the answer.

Ryan shook his head.

"Do you know what they were cooking?" Brooke asked.

"Medicine." Ryan replied.

Brooke closed her eyes and shook her head before picking Ryan up. "See this?" She asked pointing to the teakettle. "This is what Julian uses when he wants some tea. You don't have to worry about waiting for it to boil just like you don't have to wait for anything else to boil that he or I may put on the stove in the future. We don't make the medicine your mom and dad used to make in your old house because it's dangerous so don't worry about that anymore, okay?"

Ryan nodded. "Is the medicine what made my mom and dad go away to heaven?"

Julian could tell Brooke was close to breaking down again so he stepped in. "Why don't you go back and sit with Sam and Jack. I'll bet they really miss you." He smiled as he nodded off in their direction.

Brooke put Ryan back down before he scrambled off. "They made him touch the fucking pan." She said through clenched teeth once Ryan was out of earshot. "They let him handle the meth as if it were the most normal thing in the world."

His arms were around her in a matter of seconds. "He's safe now." He whispered into her hair. "He's safe."

--

She tossed and turned for several hours before groaning in frustration. Carefully, she climbed out of bed not to disturb her husband who was sleeping like a log. She padded down the hallway and up the stairs toward his room. A smile crept across her face when she saw him sleeping soundly with his teddy bear squished between him and the mattress. She contemplated for several minutes before quietly walking into his bedroom and settling into the rocking chair adjacent from him. The chair wasn't as comfortable as she would have liked, so she got up and sat on the edge of the bed. She gently rubbed his hair out of his eyes and smiled. He really could pass for their biological child. He had her chestnut hair and his deep brown eyes. She hadn't seen him smile a whole lot but she could have sworn she saw dimples when he did. Even if he wasn't theirs biologically he was theirs to love and care for and protect. He was their son. He was everything they had waited for and in the stillness of the night; Brooke realized she was truly happy for the first time in a while.

--

Julian awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Confused, he got up and expected to find his wife sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee working on some sketches. When he didn't, he climbed the staircase. He paused at Ryan's door and smiled when he saw her lying in bed with Ryan snuggled against her chest. He remained there for a few moments before heading back down stairs to start breakfast for his family.

Sam stumbled into the kitchen a little while later after the scent of bacon had wafted through the entire house. She had said good morning to Julian before falling into place right beside him as she began to mix the pancake batter. Jack meandered into the kitchen a few minutes later and he sat at the breakfast bar as he watched Julian and Sam. They all heard Brooke and Ryan laughing before they saw them walking, hand in hand, down the staircase. Ryan was telling her something that was clearly funny because she threw her head back in laughter.

"It smells good down here." Brooke said as she helped Ryan into the chair beside Jack before sitting down herself. "What're you cooking?"

"Pancakes, eggs, bacon…the works." Sam replied.

"I love bacon!" Ryan exclaimed. Brooke smiled when she saw his dimples; they really were there which meant she hadn't been imagining it.

A short while later breakfast was ready and they all headed to the table to eat. Ryan nestled his way in between Brooke and Julian and smiled at them before digging into his plate of food.

"Ry, are you up to meeting some more people today?" Brooke asked.

Ryan shrugged. "Depends on who I'm meeting."

They all couldn't help but laugh. Judy was right; the kid was a hoot. Julian smiled at the fact that he was starting to come out of his shell and he was surprised at how fast he was doing so but pleased nonetheless.

Julian joked with Jack while Sam told Ryan funny stories about living in Tree Hill, Brooke beamed as she took it all in. Julian locked eyes with her and he too had a big grin on his face. They had their family and as they sat all together at the table eating breakfast, they both realized that life couldn't get any better and they couldn't be happier.

--

Review please!!


	26. Lie

Chapter Twenty-Six: Lie

Ryan's first day as part of the Baker family had been spent at the house getting to know everyone better. Brooke hadn't taken him to meet all of their friends and family because she knew he wasn't ready no matter how hard he tried to persuade her he was, she knew better. Julian didn't want to overwhelm Ryan so they spent the majority of the day out on the beach playing in the water and building sand castles.

The next day, Julian had to go into the office to take care of a casting issue and Sam and Jack had school much to their displeasure. Brooke had told them that if they had applied themselves a little bit more in English class they wouldn't have failed and been forced to repeat the year. When Sam and Jack both brought home failing report cards, Brooke and Julian exploded. They had been doing so well…neither of them understood why they had failed. Sam had explained that they _might_ have skipped class a few times. Julian asked her to define a few. Thirty-three classes Jack answered. They were grounded for the entire summer; both of them were ecstatic for school to start up again so they would finally be released from punishment.

With Julian at work and Sam and Jack in school, Brooke decided to head into her store with Ryan to show him around.

"You work here?" Ryan asked as he looked around the spacious room.

Brooke nodded. "Do you like it here?"

"Brooke? Is that you I hear?"

"Hey, mom." Brooke called back. "Can you come out here for a sec?" She turned her attention back to Ryan. "You ready to meet my mom?"

Ryan's expression turned to pure terror as Brooke knelt down to his height. "You don't have to be scared sweetie. She's a nice lady and she's going to love you just like I do."

"You have to finalize the designs for the spring—" Victoria stopped suddenly when she saw her daughter talking to a small boy. "Brooke? What's going on?" She asked as she placed her clipboard down and cautiously walked to the center of the store.

Brooke stood up at the sound of her mom's voice and smiled as she placed her hands on Ryan's shoulders. "This is Ryan. Our son." She said proudly.

Victoria's features seemed to melt as she looked at Ryan and then back at her daughter. Suddenly, Ryan scampered away from Brooke and wrapped his arms around Victoria's legs. "Hi." He said as he looked up at her.

"Hi, sweetheart." Victoria smiled as she crouched down to pick him up.

"You look just like Brooke except older." He observed. "I look more like my daddy than my mommy."

Victoria stared at him. "You do look a lot like Julian now that you mention it." She agreed.

Ryan shook his head. "I was talking about my real mommy and daddy, the ones that are up in heaven."

"Oh," Victoria nodded as she looked over at Brooke. "How old are you?"

Ryan held up six fingers.

"Wow, that's a big number!" She smiled.

"I just turned that many last week. My mommy was too busy to give me a birthday party though. I told her it was okay but on the inside I was really sad."

Victoria quickly asked him another question to distract him as well as herself. She couldn't let herself imagine what his life was like days before. She knew Brooke wanted to tell her all about how and when and why they had adopted Ryan but for right now she was content just listening to him talk.

Brooke smiled as she watched her mom and son talk animatedly on the couch as she quickly checked her e-mail before sorting the designs for the new line. In less than five minutes she had taken care of the job her mom had been panicking about moments before when she entered the store with Ryan. She leaned against the counter and simply smiled as she continued to watch her mom interact with Ryan.

--

"Now who are we going to meet?" Ryan asked as he reached for Brooke's hand as they left the store.

She smiled. "Who do you want to meet?"

He shrugged. "Do you have any friends my age?"

"I don't know any six year olds but I do know an eight year old."

Ryan's eyes lit up. "Who?"

"Why don't we go meet your Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan?" She suggested.

"Which one of them are eight?" Ryan asked.

She laughed. "Neither one of them; their son Jamie is and they also have a little girl named Sarah. She's almost two."

Ryan smiled up at Brooke. "I like meeting all your friends."

"They're actually more like family." Brooke shrugged. "I like introducing you to them. They all really love you."

Ryan blushed. "I've only met your mom."

"And Julian and Sam and Jack; you've met all of them already."

"Yeah, but they're different." He shrugged.

Brooke smiled as she helped strap him into his car seat. "What's your favorite food?" She asked after she climbed into her seat and looked at him through the rear-view mirror. "Julian's going to stop at the grocery store on his way home from the studio and we thought you could pick what we have tonight."

He shrugged. "I like macaroni and cheese."

"That's my favorite too!" She exclaimed. "Julian makes the best homemade mac n' cheese."

"My old mommy used to just make it out of the box. What does the homemade kind taste like?" He asked.

"It's the best macaroni and cheese ever; you're going to love it." She assured him.

--

Jess had been pacing back and forth in the kitchen for an extensive amount of time. Lucas was in the living room watching television and working on his latest book while she paced nervously talking to herself. He stood in the doorway and watched her as she placed her hand on her hip and shook her head as she mumbled something he didn't understand. "What're you doing, babe?" He grinned. She jumped when she heard his voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he wrapped his arms around her. "What's up?"

"Aren't you supposed to be working on your book?"

"I'm not allowed to come into my own kitchen to get a glass of water?" He asked.

She shrugged. "You are. I just…I—I don't—"

He stared at her curiously. "What's wrong?"

She nervously wrung her hands together as she avoided eye contact with her fiancé. "I don't know how to tell you something but I've been keeping it from you for almost a week now and I can't keep it to myself anymore without exploding so I—"

"Jess," Lucas said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Just tell me."

"I'm pregnant."

--

"You ready?" Brooke asked as she helped Ryan fix his t-shirt.

Ryan nodded eagerly. "Is Jamie home from school yet?"

"Aunt Haley just picked him up."

"I don't have to call her Aunt Haley yet, right?" He asked nervously.

Brooke shook her head. "Whenever you're ready."

"Even if it's when I'm thirty-seven?" He looked up at her and grinned.

"Even if it's when you're thirty-seven." She laughed.

He giggled. "Can we go inside now?"

Brooke knocked twice before pushing the heavy oak door open. "Haley! Jamie! Come here!"

They both heard as Jamie bounded down the staircase at the sound of his aunt's voice. "Aunt Brooke!" He exclaimed while he was still out of sight.

"Jamie!" Haley scolded as she emerged from the kitchen. "I just got Sarah to go down for her nap. Use your inside voice."

Jamie came to a screeching halt when he saw Ryan standing in front of his aunt. Haley did the same thing only she glanced curiously at Brooke before smiling down at Ryan. "Who's this handsome boy?" She asked as she knelt down to Ryan's height.

"This is Ryan Baker." Brooke smiled.

Haley squealed. "Brooke!" She exclaimed as she stood up and enveloped her in a hug.

"Ryan, sweetie, this is Jamie. Jamie, why don't you go show Ryan some of your toys?" Brooke suggested after she pulled out of Haley's embrace.

Both Haley and Brooke watched Jamie lead Ryan into the living room with smiles on their faces. "You have a kid!" Haley squealed a moment later.

Brooke couldn't help but smile.

"When did this happen? Why didn't you call when it did? Where'd he come from—"

"Slow down, tutor mom." Brooke laughed. "It happened two days ago. We didn't call because we just wanted to have him to ourselves for the first couple of days. His parents died when their house exploded from the meth they were cooking in the kitchen…" Brooke proceeded to tell Haley everything she knew about her new son as they made their way into the kitchen where Haley made tea.

"How is he?" Haley asked when Brooke had finished.

She smiled. "He's great. He's smart as a whip, he's witty and funny and so kind-hearted but I can't help but be scared."

"Why?" Haley asked.

Brooke shrugged as she watched Jamie and Ryan interact. "I don't know what I'm doing." She said.

"You're letting him be a kid again." Haley said as she placed her hand on Brooke's knee. "His innocence was taken away when his parents enlisted his help with the meth but you're giving him his childhood back. You're letting him be a regular six-year-old kid, Brooke."

"What if he does something bad like lies to me? Or what if he crosses the street when a car is coming? Am I allowed to yell at him and scold him or will I end up scaring him which will result in him hating me? What if he gets taken away from me because the agency doesn't think that Julian and I are fit parents?" She panicked.

Haley simply smiled at Brooke. "Look at him." She said pointing to where the two little boys were playing. Jamie was showing him all of his toys, Ryan was laughing and smiling. "He's your son. You're supposed to discipline him if he does the wrong thing and he won't hate you for that. He needs to know what's right and wrong and what's acceptable. The agency isn't going to take Ryan away from you and Julian because you two were destined to be parents and you're already amazing parents to Sam and Jack." She said. "And besides, if anyone ever tries to take Ryan away from you they're going to have to deal with me."

Brooke smiled. "He's just so different from Sam. I know he's not telling us everything and I don't want to force him to tell us but I just want to know that he's happy here with us."

"He looks pretty damn happy to me." Haley nodded toward her son who was playing cars with Ryan who was laughing at something Jamie had said.

Brooke looked over. "He's my son." She said and Haley grinned as she watched a smile spread across Brooke's face. She had said it so many times since she arrived with Ryan but she didn't tire of hearing it. She saw the way Brooke's face lit up when she talked about Ryan and the way he interacted with Julian, Sam and Jack back at the house and how he warmed right up to Victoria. She smiled when Brooke told her about how she crept into his room the first night just to watch him sleep and ended up holding him against her chest reveling in the fact that he was theirs. Haley was sure she'd never seen Brooke happier than in those moments she was talking about her son.

--

"Are you going to say anything?" Jess panicked. Lucas had yet to respond, instead, he just continued to stare at her.

"You're sure?" He finally asked.

She nodded. "I took three at home pregnancy tests and I had one of the nurses down at work run my blood."

"We're having a baby?"

She shook her head. "I knew you were going to freak when I told you. I should have told you before you proposed—"

"Jess," He smiled. "I couldn't be happier about this."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really." He nodded.

A smile spread across her face as she wrapped her arms around him before leaning in to kiss him. "You're okay with having a redneck wedding?" She giggled.

"Are you kidding me? This is a dream come true for me. When I was a little kid I dreamt about the day I'd get married in the trailer park with my bare-foot pregnant wife busting out of a cheap white dress that's three sizes too small for her."

Jess threw her head back as she laughed. "Good, because that's what I pictured as a little girl, too."

"You better tell Brooke about the pregnancy soon because I doubt you're going to be able to fit into a size four in a couple of months for the wedding." Lucas said.

"How am I supposed to tell her?" Jess shook her head. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

Lucas furrowed his brow. "What wasn't supposed to happen?"

"I wasn't supposed to get pregnant."

"She's come to terms with her situation. She was happy for Peyton and Hales when they told her they were pregnant, she's going to be happy for you too." He assured her.

Jess shook her head. "You don't understand."

He reached for her hands. "Make me, then."

"Brooke and I have more in common than one would think." She said cautiously. "I was told shortly after I got my abortion that the chances of me getting pregnant were slim due to a complication the doctor encountered while doing the procedure."

Lucas stared at her dumbfounded. "Does she know?" He asked when he finally found his voice.

"About the pregnancy, no." Jess replied. "But I told her that I knew what she was going through a while back and she said that I didn't but I told her that I understood more than anyone. That's when I told her about me and how similar our cases were."

He shook his head. "You didn't think to tell me? We've talked so many times about having kids together and you just let me go on thinking that we wouldn't have a problem when it came time to get pregnant. What were you going to tell me when three years down the line from now when we didn't have a kid after months and months of trying? You know how badly I want more kids!" He tore his hands away from hers.

"I didn't want to lose you!" She cried as she reached out for him. "I was scared you'd leave me and I couldn't handle that. I didn't want to hurt you, Lucas."

"What were you going to tell me when after trying for so long we still weren't pregnant?" He asked again.

"We would have gone to the doctor and figured out then that the chances were slim to none." She shrugged.

He slammed his fist down on the countertop. "You were going to pretend that you didn't know? How could you do that?"

She shrugged as she wiped her eyes. "I don't know but the important thing is is that it's never going to come to that. You know the truth now and we're having this baby together."

"How am I supposed to trust you now?" He asked softly as he turned to leave. "How am I supposed to know when you're lying to my face and when you're telling me the truth? I was lied to by Peyton for seven months before I finally figured out that she was seeing someone behind my back and that hurt like hell. I'm not going to go down that path again, Jess."

She stood in the kitchen by herself for a long time after he slammed the front door. She wasn't sure where he went and in all honesty she really didn't care. Her fiancé had just compared her not telling him about the fact that she couldn't have kids to his ex-wife cheating on him. They were so not the same thing. They didn't even compare to each other. They were like apples and oranges. Weren't they?

--

"Is the macaroni almost ready?" Ryan asked as he walked into the kitchen where Julian was cooking and Brooke was telling him about her day.

"In a little bit." Brooke answered as she pulled him up onto her lap.

Ryan looked around. "I like it here."

Brooke kissed his head and squeezed his little body against hers. "I'm glad."

"When's Sammy coming home?" He asked.

Julian grinned at Ryan's nickname for her. "She'll be home in a little bit. She's at the library studying."

"With Jack?" Brooke asked.

Julian shook his head. "I don't think they'd get much studying done if they were there together. He's out looking for a job."

Brooke nodded, impressed. "Good for him."

"Will I have to get a job?" Ryan asked.

She shrugged. "If you want to get one when you're older you can but try to enjoy being a kid because you'll be an adult before you know it."

Ryan nodded before scampering out of Brooke's lap and darting up the staircase. "He has so much energy."

Julian laughed. "Did he tire you out today?"

"Sort of. He only met my mom, Hales and Jamie. Nathan was at the gym and Sarah was sleeping so he didn't get a chance to see them but he had fun. I would have taken him over to see Peyton and Mike but they're in Philadelphia visiting Mike's parents so we'll just have to wait until they get back."

"I wish I could have gone with you today." He said as he stirred the pot of boiling macaroni.

"I do too. I was thinking that tomorrow we could go over and visit Jess and Luke, you want to come?"

"Absolutely." He grinned. "Have you talked to Jess lately?"

Brooke shook her head. "We keep missing each other. Well, actually I keep missing her. She hasn't been returning my calls but she's probably just busy with work and moving into the new house. It's no big deal; we'll just show up there tomorrow." She shrugged. "We need to remember to bring a housewarming gift with us, don't let me forget."

"How'd Haley react to you showing up with a little boy today?"

"She was shocked but so happy for us. I told her about all my concerns and she reassured me that everything was going to be okay."

Julian couldn't help but smile. "You need to stop worrying so much, Brooke."

"I know, it's just that—"

"Come here!" Ryan's voice called.

Brooke glanced curiously at Julian before reaching for his hand and leading him up the staircase to where Ryan was. When they got to his room, Ryan was sitting on his bed smiling. "Like it?" He asked as he nodded over to his left.

Brooke and Julian both looked over to see crayon all over the wall.

"What did you do?" Brooke cried.

"I colored a picture." Ryan answered proudly.

"On the wall?" She asked incredulously.

He nodded. "Don't you like it? It's our family."

They both looked closer. At first all they saw was the crayon on the wall but when they took the time to look at what was drawn they saw Julian standing next to Ryan who was next to Brooke and the three of them were holding hands. Sam and Jack were a little more off to the side kissing each other.

Brooke sat down on the bed beside Ryan and Julian followed as he sat down on his other side. "You're not supposed to draw on the walls, Ryan." She said. "Crayons and markers and colored pencils are all meant to draw on paper with not on walls. It's a big mess to clean up." She was trying to remember what Haley had told her earlier in the day. He had to know right from wrong; he had to know what was acceptable and what wasn't. She just hoped she wasn't being too hard on him and that he wasn't going to hate her after she disciplined him.

Ryan looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry. I can clean it up."

Julian shook his head and Brooke furrowed her brow. "I like it." He said.

Ryan looked up at him. "Really?"

Julian nodded. "It's like a family portrait."

Brooke looked over at Ryan's creation and as much as she wanted to clean it off and paint over it and tell him it was a bad thing he had done, Julian was right. It was their family. "I like it too." She smiled. "Especially the Sam and Jack part."

Ryan giggled. "I like that part too but my favorite is that." He said as he pointed to where he, Brooke and Julian stood holding hands with smiles on their faces.

"Mine too." Brooke whispered as she kissed the top of his head.

Julian made a show out of stretching his arms over his head before wrapping them around his wife and son before tickling them as the sounds of their laughter filled the room. Brooke begged for him to stop but Julian had no intention of letting up. Ryan joined Julian and began to attack Brooke with his little fingers giggling at the sound of her laughs and shrieks. Julian stopped for the briefest of moments to relish in the sound of laughter and the feeling of sheer happiness he knew they were all experiencing and couldn't help but fall more in love with his wife and son.

--

Review please!!


	27. Survive

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Survive

"You're sure you don't want to come?" Brooke asked as she, Julian and Ryan stood in the doorway.

Sam groaned. "How many times do I need to tell you? We have a project due on Monday that we really need to work on."

Julian eyed both Sam and Jack. "When was the project assigned?"

"Three weeks ago." Jack mumbled.

"When did you start working on it?"

"Last night." Sam answered.

"Nothing like waiting until the Sunday before the project is due," Brooke said as she shook her head. "I thought the two of you learned your lesson last year. If you hadn't missed so much class you two would be off to college already instead of doing tedious high school assignments."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Are you ever going to drop the fact that we had to stay back?"

"No." Both Brooke and Julian answered in unison. "Have fun working on the project." Brooke added before shutting the door behind them.

"Did Sammy and Jack do something bad?" Ryan asked as Julian strapped him into his car seat.

"They skipped a lot of school last year so they couldn't get the grades they needed in order to graduate." Brooke explained.

Ryan let her words linger a few minutes before responding. "Well, I'm glad they got in trouble because if they didn't I'd be the only kid in the house."

Julian glanced at Brooke. "That's the way it's going to be next year, bud." He said. "Sam and Jack are going to be in college and then it's just going to be you, me and Brooke."

"Who am I going to play with?" Ryan asked.

"You'll have Jamie and Sarah and Connor and Hannah around all the time. You'll make plenty of friends in school when you start next week, you'll be fine without Sam and Jack." Brooke assured him.

"It's not the same as having a brother and sister, though." Ryan argued.

Brooke nodded. "You're right, it's not." She said softly before turning around in her seat to face out the window. She felt Julian place his hand on her knee and squeeze it gently, it took all she had inside of her not to break down in that moment.

"Lucas, please. I'm really worried about you. I was scared last night sleeping here all by myself and I got even more worked up because I didn't know where you were or if you were safe. I'm so sorry for not telling you everything up front. You have a right to be angry with me but please just come home so we can talk about this. I love you." Jess sighed as she hung up the phone. That was the sixteenth message she had left on Lucas' phone; he hadn't picked up once. He had stormed out of the house almost eighteen hours ago and Jess had yet to hear from him. She heard the front door creak open and she sprang to her feet. "Luke!" She exclaimed.

"Jess!" His voice echoed throughout the house.

"Julian?"

"Try not to sound so upset and let down," Julian grinned as he pulled his sister into a hug. "Where's the fiancé?"

"Out." She answered simply. "Who's this handsome little boy?"

Ryan clung to Brooke's leg as he hid behind her. "Ryan, can you say hi to Jess? She's Julian's twin sister."

"You don't look like Julian." Ryan said softly as he stared at Jess.

She laughed. "I know, I'm lucky."

"Hey!" Julian exclaimed as he playfully swatted his sister's arm. "C'mere, buddy. Let's get away from these mean girls for a little while." He said as he scooped Ryan into his arms. "There's something I want to show you."

Brooke and Jess watched as Julian carried Ryan out the back door and onto the patio. "So," Brooke sighed. "Where've you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you, I really wanted to tell you about Ryan sooner it's just that—"

"Brooke, I need to tell you something." Jess said as she placed her hand on Brooke's arm.

Brooke nodded. "Why don't we go sit down?" She suggested as she walked over to the couch.

"Remember back when I told you about my past," Jess said once they were situated in the living room. "About how the doctor told me after my abortion that I couldn't have children?" Jess watched as Brooke nodded still in oblivion. "You haven't been able to get a hold of me because I've been avoiding you."

"Why—"

"I'm scared of what you're going to say or do or feel once I tell you why I've been trying so hard not to come into contact with you. In all honesty I have no idea why this happened to me because it wasn't supposed to happen—"

"You're pregnant." Brooke said as she began to put everything together.

Jess looked up at her with water-filled eyes and nodded.

"It's okay." She said softly as she wrapped her arms around Jess. "I'm not mad."

"Yes you are." Jess argued.

Brooke shook her head. "It's not your fault."

"But I'm the one person out of everybody that knew exactly how you felt and knew exactly what you were going through because I was going through it too."

"Listen to me," Brooke said as she lifted Jess's face. "I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone, not even my arch nemesis. When I first found out, it was so incredibly hurtful and painful to see expectant mothers rubbing their swollen bellies or proud fathers feeling their child kick for the first time because I knew I was never going to experience that with Julian. But now, now that I have Ryan I don't care about that anymore; at least not as much as I did. Every now and then I'll become angry and start crying for no apparent reason but deep down I know that I'm still struggling with all of this. I can't spend my days wondering why me anymore because I've realized there are so many more things I can be doing with my life. Things like giving innocent children like Ryan a place to feel safe and a place to call home. Yeah, I'm pissed you were able to defy the odds and get pregnant and I wasn't but it's not your fault. There's a reason you're pregnant just like there's a reason I'm not and now have Ryan. Be happy. It's so much better than being miserable, trust me," She smiled. "I know first hand."

"I wish Lucas was as happy as you are." Jess said as she wiped her eyes.

Brooke furrowed her brow. "He wasn't happy? How could he not be?"

"He—"

"The baby's his, right?"

Jess couldn't help but laugh. "Of course!"

Brooke shrugged. "Just making sure."

"He was upset because I told him this wasn't supposed to happen because of what my doctor told me years ago." She explained.

"He knew that, though, didn't he?" Brooke was confused.

"I never told him that I knew."

She sighed. It all made sense to her now. "I'm guessing he stormed out, left you here all alone, didn't answer his phone despite the eighteen calls you made to it and you're worried sick and petrified something happened to him. Am I right?"

Jess nodded, amazed. "How did you know all that?"

"You're not the only girl to get into a fight with Lucas Scott." Brooke grinned as she got up and headed to the front door.

"Where are you going?" She asked as she got up as well.

Brooke reached for her coat and shrugged it on. "Somewhere." She smiled. "I'll be back soon, don't worry."

"What about Julian and Ryan?"

"They'll be fine. It's the perfect time for you to go and get to know the little guy anyway." Brooke said as she opened the door.

She knew he'd be there. It's where he always went whenever he needed to think or just felt like being alone. He was sitting in the middle of the court with his legs stretched out in front of him and his arms behind him bearing the brunt of his body weight. She couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he looked as he stared out at the river.

"Hey, buddy." She greeted softly as she sat down beside him. "How're you doing?"

He turned at the sound of her voice. "How'd you know I was here?" He asked.

She smiled. "This is where you go when you're hurt or scared or sad or angry. This is your place."

"I'm assuming you know?"

Brooke nodded. "Why'd you storm out on her?"

He leaned forward, crossed his legs Indian style and sighed. "How could she not tell me something like that?" He asked.

"We can't keep answering each other's questions with another question or else we're never going to get anywhere, Luke." She grinned.

He smiled. "Sorry."

"I can't tell you why she wasn't up front with you from the beginning but I do know how hard it is to tell the person you love that you can't give him the family he's always wanted. She sees you constantly interact with Connor; she knows how much you love him and how proud you are of him. She knows that he's your son and she knows that you want more kids. She didn't want to ruin that fantasy. Just think about how much she's been struggling with knowing she can't give you everything you want."

"I wouldn't have left her." He said as he shook his head.

"You say that now but who knows." Brooke shrugged. "What if she told you right of the bat?"

"Julian stayed with you." He argued. "You told him that you couldn't get pregnant just days after he came back to Tree Hill."

"You're not Julian—"

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked defensively.

"Nothing," She said quickly. "I'm just saying that I was lucky and so blessed to have Julian react the way he did. Jess obviously didn't feel comfortable telling you something so private for whatever reason and I'm sure you would know that reason by now if you hadn't stormed out last night after she told you."

Lucas remained silent for a little while before finding his voice. "Are you jealous?"

He watched her bite her lip and fidget slightly with her hands before nodding. "Don't tell her, please." She whispered.

He hesitated for a minute before wrapping his arm around her. "I won't." He assured her as they both stared out at the tugboat making it's way down the river.

"She love you a lot, you know." She said quietly. "She never meant for this to hurt you."

He nodded. "I know that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. She lied to me, Brooke. I know she's not like Peyton and I know what Peyton did was completely different but I can't help but feel like it's happening all over again. The lies, the deception, the lack of honesty…I don't want to lose everything again."

Brooke lifted her head off of his shoulder. "You won't." She said forcefully. "She's not going anywhere, Lucas. She's scared she's going to lose you, she knows she's the one at fault this time."

"So did Peyton but look at what that's gotten me." He said sarcastically.

She furrowed her brow. "A beautiful little boy? A gorgeous, funny, smart fiancée? A second chance at life? A child that you and Jess created out of love? It looks to me that Peyton gave you everything you ever wanted…it just wasn't the way you thought it was all going to work out."

He shook his head. "She still lied."

Brooke sighed. "Did you ever think she did that to protect you? I know you're hurting right now and I'd be pissed too if I were in your shoes but you have to learn to let certain things go, Luke. Yeah, she lied but she's giving you the child you've longed to have with her. You lied and I forgave you…why can't you do the same for her?"

He let her words sink in before getting up. "Thank you." He said as he helped her to her feet.

"There she is!"

Both Brooke and Lucas turned to see a small boy running toward them with Jess and Julian following behind him. Lucas watched as Brooke opened her arms to catch the little boy as they collapsed on the grassy field in a fit of laughter.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked Julian and Jess.

"He can't stand being away from you." Jess said as she nodded toward Ryan. "We tried to tell him you'd be right back but he insisted on finding you right away."

"Is that right?" Brooke asked Ryan who sat in her lap.

Ryan nodded. "I need you."

"You had Julian." She pointed out.

"I know, but he's not the same as you. I felt scared not knowing where you were just like I get scared when I don't know where he is. I don't want to be left alone again. I don't want to go back to the adoption place." He said sadly.

Brooke wrapped her arms tightly around Ryan before pulling him even closer. "I'm not going anywhere and neither is Julian. We love you way too much to leave you."

Jess walked over to where Lucas was standing and reached for his hand. To her surprise, he didn't pull away instead, he squeezed it. She led him toward the edge of the court giving Julian and Brooke some privacy with Ryan.

"What's going on?" Lucas asked once they were out of earshot. "Who is that kid?"

"That's Ryan. They adopted him a few days ago."

Lucas' eyes went wide. "Seriously? I didn't know they were so serious about adoption."

Jess shrugged. "Me either."

"So does that mean that they've given up hope on having a child together…biologically, I mean?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know."

They both didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." They both blurted out at the same time.

"No, really, this isn't your fault. I should have told you before we got so serious." Jess said.

Lucas shook his head. "I shouldn't have walked out like I did. That only made things worse."

She smiled as she looked up at him. "That's our baby." She said as she reached for his hand and placed it on her taut stomach.

He grinned. "I love you, you know that?"

"I'm sorry I complained about not having a brother or sister to play with once Sammy and Jack leave." Ryan said from the back seat as Julian drove home. "I didn't mean it."

"It's okay, Ry." Brooke assured him as she patted his leg.

He shook his head. "Don't lie."

Julian glanced quickly at Brooke before looking back at the road. "What's she lying about?" He asked.

"It's not okay because I saw the tears she had in her eyes after I said it. I hurt her feelings and I didn't mean to; please don't send me back." He pleaded.

Julian pulled the car off to the side of the road before putting it in park and turning around to face him. Brooke unbuckled her seat belt, opened her door and climbed into the back beside Ryan.

"We are never going to send you back to the adoption agency, Ryan." Julian said as he placed his hand on Ryan's small knee. "You're our son and we love you more than anything in this world. You don't have to be afraid of saying or doing something because you think that once you do we're going to pack up all your things and drop you back off with Judy. We're a family now, for better or for worse."

Brooke nodded her head in agreement. "The reason I had tears in my eyes earlier was because I know how badly you want a little brother or sister to play with…but I can't give that to you. I want to more than anything but there's a part inside of my body that doesn't work like it's supposed to." She tried to explain.

"The part that's broken is the part that makes babies?" Ryan asked.

Both Julian and Brooke nodded.

"Can't you fix it?"

"We've tried, sweetie." Julian answered.

"Are you sad?"

Brooke nodded. "We were for awhile but we're not anymore."

"Why not?" Ryan asked.

"Because we have you." Julian smiled.

They both watched as Ryan's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"You're the best thing that's happened to us." Brooke told him.

"Well, you're the best thing that's happened to me, too." He grinned. "I love you."

Julian reached for Brooke's hand and gently squeezed Ryan's knee with the other. "We love you too, buddy."

"Brooke?" Julian said groggily as he felt her slip out of their bed early the next morning.

"Go back to sleep." She said softly. "I'm just going for a run. I need to clear my head."

He sat up. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"Just stuff with the company, nothing major." She assured him as she slipped a pair of shorts on. "I'll be back before Ryan wakes up for his first day of school."

Julian smiled. "He's really excited."

"I know, babe." She said as she rushed around the room searching for her sneakers.

"Behind the laundry basket." Julian said as he lay back down and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Thanks." She quickly tied her laces before grabbing the sweatshirt that hung on the back of the door. "Love you."

"Love you too." He replied, she knew it would take only a matter of seconds before he fell back asleep and for that she was grateful.

She quietly shut the door to their bedroom before leaning against it and sliding down. She took several deep breaths to steady herself as she tried to stand up but it was no use; her legs were like strands of wet noodles. She knew she had to get out of the house though, the last thing she needed was for Sam, Jack, Ryan or Julian to find her in a mess of tears.

It took a few tries for her to stand without feeling like she was going to pass out before she finally made it out of the house. Her hands shook as she shoved the key into the ignition and the car rumbled to life. The sun had yet to rise as she drove down the dark streets of Tree Hill thinking of some place to go. She needed to get away. She wasn't sure she could handle a day like today if the outcome would be like all the others…she wasn't sure she could survive.

Review please!


	28. Live

**So, I'm sorry about two things. The first being that this chapter is so short...I didn't want to put too much in this chapter and I think that overall, even though it's short, it serves it's purpose and if I put more in it I might have gone overboard and ruined the simplicity and beauty of the chapter. The second thing is that there aren't dashes to separate scenes from each other. It's become an issue for the past couple of chapters and I've tried everything to make them appear but they just don't seem to show up when I post new chapters. I know that can make reading confusing so I'm so sorry about that. If anyone knows how to fix this please let me know! Thanks and enjoy! **

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Live

She sat on the front steps with her back to the door as she gazed at the neatly manicured lawn in front of her. The sprinklers surprised her when they clicked to life but she was protected from the water by the porch. She knew they'd know she was there when either he or she came out to get the newspaper and as much as she wanted to get up and run to her car and drive away she couldn't. She needed to be found. She needed her to usher her into the house, hold her and tell her that this time would be different.

"Brooke?" Her voice was concerned.

She turned around to see her standing in the doorway; her bathrobe clung to her small frame.

"What are you doing out here so early? Did you have a fight with Julian?" She asked as she made her way out of the house and toward Brooke. She then noticed her teary, blood-shot eyes and the way her hands shook even though she tried to hide them. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Brooke shook her head as she looked up at her for the first time. "It can't happen again, mom."

Sam looked down at the bowl Julian had just put down in front of her. "What is that?" She asked.

Ryan crinkled his nose and pushed the bowl away after watching Jack do the same.

"It's breakfast." Julian answered as he poured himself a cup of tea.

"We know that," Jack said. "But what exactly is it?"

"Oatmeal." He replied.

Sam lifted a spoonful and they all watched the hot, runny liquid fall back into the bowl. "I think you put a little too much water in." She smirked.

He shrugged. "Just keep mixing it, it'll thicken up."

Ryan laughed and shook his head. "No it won't. You ruined it."

Julian bent down, retrieved a box of cereal and placed it in front of his three kids. He proceeded to get new bowls and spoons from the cupboard before getting the milk out of the fridge. Ryan's eyes lit up as he reached for the box of Lucky Charms. "Sammy," he said as he nodded toward the gallon of milk. Sam smiled as she reached for it before pouring some into his bowl, then Jack's and finally her own.

"I'm sorry I ruined breakfast." Julian said as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

"It's fine," Jack said. "Should we wake Brooke and see if she wants to join us for breakfast?"

Julian shook his head. "She's not home."

Ryan dropped his spoon which caused them all to look at him. 'Where is she?" He asked. His concern was obvious.

"She's over at her mom's house." Julian answered. "She'll be home a little later."

"She can't miss my first day of school!" He cried and Julian noticed the tears welling in his eyes.

He put his bowl down and walked over to Ryan. "She doesn't want to buddy; she just really needs her mom right now."

"Well I need her too!" He argued. "Doesn't she love me anymore?"

"Of course she still loves you," Julian assured him. "She doesn't want to miss your first day either but she'll be here when you get home from school. You can tell her all about it then."

Ryan looked up at him. "Promise?"

Julian nodded. "I promise."

"Why don't I help you pick out your first day of school outfit?" Sam suggested as she lifted Ryan out of the chair before placing him on the ground. Ryan willingly took Sam's hand and allowed her to lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. Both Julian and Jack remained in the kitchen and watched as Sam distracted Ryan from Brooke. They let out a breath they didn't know they were holding when they heard Ryan laugh at something Sam had said.

"What's going on with Brooke? Is she okay?" Jack inquired.

Julian shrugged. "Victoria called a little bit ago and told me not to worry about Brooke."

"Did you wake up to see that she wasn't there?"

"No, she woke up pretty early and told me she was going for a run to clear her head."

Jack furrowed his brow. "She ran all the way to Victoria's? She lives almost twenty miles away."

"She drove. Her car's not in the driveway." Julian said. "There's obviously something going on with her…something that she's not telling me."

"Did Victoria elaborate on anything when she called?" Jack asked.

"All she said was that Brooke was safe at her place but she was crying when she found her sitting on the front steps."

"Why?" Jack wondered aloud.

"I have no idea." Julian said as he shook his head. "I don't understand why she didn't just come to me instead of running away."

Victoria sat on her couch with her daughter in her arms trying to make sense of the situation. Brooke had yet to tell her what she meant when she said 'it can't happen again, mom.' Victoria wanted to know, she wanted to help her, but she knew better than to push Brooke to open up when she clearly wasn't ready. David had stumbled into the living room to see Victoria holding Brooke as she cried. He quietly turned and went back upstairs knowing Victoria would explain everything later.

"Sweetie," She said softly as she ran her hand through her daughter's hair. "It's going to be okay, whatever it is."

Brooke shook her head. "It can't be." She argued.

"Why not?" She couldn't hold it in anymore. Her daughter was suffering and she wanted to know why so she could take the pain and hurt away. She didn't deserve to feel this way…not anymore…not at a time in her life when everything was going great for once.

Brooke looked up. "I thought I was over feeling this way now that we have Ryan in our lives but I'm not. I love him with all of my being but there's still an ache in my heart that no one will be able to fill except for a child of my own, one that grows inside of me and I give birth to." She said. "I know life isn't fair and we're put through certain things for a reason and in the end we become stronger people but haven't I been put through enough? Why did this have to happen to _me_? Why couldn't this have happened to some woman who is more invested and interested in her career than having a family? How come—"

"Stop it." Victoria said suddenly, instantly causing Brooke to stop talking and stare at her. "You can't do this to yourself, Brooke. It's never going to get you anywhere."

She nodded. "I know that but I need to talk to someone about it and just let everything out that I've kept inside of me or else I'll go insane."

"What's going on, sweetheart? I thought—"

"I have times where I'm completely okay with not being able to get pregnant but then I have times where I feel so bad about myself that I don't see a point in living anymore if I can't do the one thing I was put on this earth to do."

Victoria stared at her horrified. "Have you tr-tried to kill yourself?" She asked warily and Brooke watched as her mother paled about three shades.

She shook her head. "I've come close. I think about it a lot." She answered honestly. "Before I came here I went down to the alley behind that old abandoned shopping complex with the intention of taking a whole bottle of pills but I…I just couldn't do it. I'm a coward, mom."

Victoria wrapped her arms around Brooke and pulled her tightly against her chest. "You are not a coward, Brooke. You are a strong, smart young woman who is married to a wonderful man and who is doing a remarkable job raising three kids that the rest of the world thought were lost causes."

"If I'm so strong why can't I bring myself to take a pregnancy test?"

Victoria stared at her. "You think you're pregnant?"

She shrugged. "I'm late."

Haley sighed as she sank into a chair at the dining room table. The Lakers had given Nathan an extension to make his decision after his agent had begged for a few more days. Things had been tense at the Scott household and Jamie had picked up on it. He knew his parents weren't pleased with each other but didn't understand why. He preferred to spend his time alone in his room with Chester.

"We need to figure this out." She said as she ran her hand tiredly through her hair.

"You know how I feel." He responded as he leaned back.

She groaned. "Yes, you expect me to pack up everything I own and move across the country to a place I know I'm going to hate. You expect Jamie to leave behind all the friends he's grown up with. You expect all of us to just say good-bye to everyone as if we're just going down to the market to buy a gallon of milk and will be back in a few minutes. It's not fair."

"Think about all the new things they'll experience out there. You'll get to know people out there and they'll become your closest friends—"

"I don't want new friends!" She exclaimed. She knew she sounded childish but he was making this sound like it wasn't a big deal at all when clearly it was. "You're going to be gone most of the time anyways whether it be at practice or on the road for a game which will leave me home with the kids in a place that I hate. That's not fair."

"You keep saying that." He said as he suddenly got up from the table. "What's not fair is not giving this a chance. The money they're offering—"

"It shouldn't be about the money, Nathan." She cut him off. "You said when you started that it would never be about the money…it's about the game and the relationships you build with your teammates along the way that matters. Think about who you'd leave behind if you made us move to LA. They've become more than teammates…they've become family."

"But—"

She wasn't finished. "You can't expect this much out of me and the kids. Yeah, the move would be easier on you because you'll have a job and instantly make friends with all your teammates but just think about your family for once. Jamie will be the new kid at school and he's going to hate that. Sarah, she's young enough where it won't matter if we move her, but she's still going to have to adjust to new surroundings. And me. You know I can't just sit around at the house all day because if I did I'd go insane. I need something to keep me busy and I love teaching—"

"You'll have a job out there!" He assured her.

She shook her head. "It won't be the same. I love _this_ teaching job. I love _these_ students. I love _this _school. I love my life the way it is right now, Nathan, and I don't want it to change."

"Change is part of life, Haley." He sighed. She picked up on the annoyance in his tone which only made her more upset.

She slammed her fist down on the table. "You don't think I know that? I've had to make a lot of changes to my life because of you and I don't mind doing that but this is too much, Nathan. I need Lucas in my life to keep me sane. I need Julian in my life to make me laugh. I need Brooke to keep me grounded. I need Peyton to help me with my record. I need everyone here in Tree Hill, why can't you see that?"

He shrugged. "They'd only be a phone call away. And I'm sure you'd be able to work on your album out in LA, they have people who have more experience than Peyton…they'll be able to help you become famous."

She shook her head. "I don't want fame; especially if it's going to turn me into a person like you. I don't recognize you anymore, Nathan. Insulting Peyton? She's your friend not just some girl who's helping me chase my dream—"

"What about _my_ dream? Why can't I chase _mine_ for once?" He yelled.

"We've been chasing your dream since high school." She said bitterly. "I gave up mine so you could have yours." She hastily got up from the table and walked away before turning around. "I don't care what you do anymore. Just know that if you decide to play for the Lakers you'll no longer be a part of our lives."

Nathan watched his wife turn her back on him. Had money and fame become more important than his family? He wasn't sure.

She entered the house quietly. She knew Sam, Jack and Ryan were all at school and she was praying Julian had gone into the office today so she could be alone in the house for a little while. She wasn't so lucky.

"Brooke," She could tell by the tone of his voice he was relieved she had finally come home. She let him wrap his arms around her and squeeze her against his chest. "I was worried about you."

"I was just at my mom's." She shrugged as she sat down on the couch.

He leaned in to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and saw that her eyes were still red and her face was a blotchy from breaking out in hives. She did that from time to time when she got really worked up. "What's going on?" He asked softly as he reached for her hand.

She closed her eyes and thought back to what her mother had told her before she left. She needed to tell him how she'd been feeling the past few weeks, about the thoughts of taking her own life, about regretting stopping the treatment for her infertility. "I've been keeping a lot of things to myself lately." She said quietly. "It's not that I don't want to tell you…I just—I don't know how."

He cupped her face in the palm of his hand. "Just tell me." She could tell he was getting anxious.

"I've always been the strong one; the one everyone sees as the rock and the one everyone goes to for support when things get tough. I'm the one people turn to when they're at a crossroads or confused or conflicted. I love being that person but there's only so much I can take before I need someone to turn to for support and guidance."

"You have me." He said as he squeezed her hand.

She nodded. "I know I do." She looked down at their intertwined hands. "I almost killed myself today."

He didn't say anything. Instead, he stared at her dumbfounded. She didn't say anything either…she wasn't sure what to say so she waited for him to say something.

"Why?" He finally managed to ask after several minutes of deafening silence.

She wiped her eye. "I was angry with myself." Her voice cracked. "I was angry with God for not giving me the one thing I want more than anything in this world. I was angry at Matt for what he did to me both in college and in my store. I was angry at Ryan's parents for how they treated him…I had so much anger pent up inside of me that I just didn't know what to do anymore."

"That's not a reason to kill yourself." Julian said as he shook his head. "Why didn't you talk to me before? Why do you insist on keeping to yourself until it gets to a point like this? I'm your husband, Brooke; I'm not just some acquaintance who won't care about your problems. I know how badly you're suffering because I'm feeling the same way. I know everyone expects us to be okay with this by now since it's been almost two years since we found out, but we're not. I don't think anyone can be; it's a big deal to find out you'll never be able to bring a child into this world. It's a lot to accept but you have to believe that with time you'll be okay again because if you don't you're letting yourself succumb instead of rising above which is what you were born to do, Brooke. You rise above every situation life throws at you and you've become this strong, beautiful, independent woman who won't settle for anything but the best." He said before leaning in to kiss her.

"Do you need to talk to someone about your thoughts? I can—"

"I think I'm going to be okay." She said.

"Thinking about suicide is a big deal, Brooke. I don't want to come home to find you passed out on the bathroom floor with an empty bottle of pills beside you…I couldn't handle that—" He stopped suddenly and took hold of the plastic bag she held in front of him. "Brooke." His voice was barely above a whisper as he looked up at her with tears in his eyes before looking back down at the four pregnancy tests. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded fiercely. "We're having a baby." Her voice cracked as she wiped her eyes.

He wrapped his arms around her before pulling her on top of him and kissing her passionately. "We're going to be okay again." She whispered against his neck as he held her close. He breathed in her scent of lavender shampoo and Ralph Lauren perfume and found himself unable to let go of her. He loved her with every ounce of his being and he knew that she wasn't going to let herself get to that low of a point in which she seriously considered taking her own life ever again. He wouldn't allow it and neither would she. She had too much to live for.

Review please!


	29. Find

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Find

"How was your first day?" Brooke asked as Ryan walked into the house followed by Sam and Jack.

Ryan ignored her as he walked straight up to his bedroom with his arms crossed across his chest.

"He didn't talk the entire way home either. Jack pretty much had to make him get in the car when we went to pick him up; he's really upset with you." Sam said as she slung her backpack onto the floor before throwing herself into the armchair.

"We better go talk to him." Julian said as he got up and extended his hand to Brooke.

"I think I should talk to him by myself." She said. "I'm the one who upset him."

Julian nodded and watched as she made her way up the staircase to their son's room.

"Hey buddy. Can I come in?" She said softly as she knocked on the door. When she didn't hear him answer she pushed the door open slightly.

"I didn't say you could come in!" He yelled when he saw her standing in the threshold of his room. "Go away!"

She stayed put. "I know you're really mad at me for not being here this morning and I'm really sorry for that but I have a surprise for you."

He looked at her for the first time. "You do?"

Brooke nodded. "But you have to let me come in so I can tell you."

He looked at his stuffed bear, then at Brooke and again at the bear. "Okay." He said meekly. "You can come in."

She smiled as she made her way over to his bed where he was sitting playing with the ratty ears of his bear. "I'm really sorry, Ry." She said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"You already said that." He replied. "And sometimes sorry doesn't always cut it."

She nodded. "I know." She wasn't quite sure what to say next but somehow found the words. "When I was your age my mom and dad didn't really care what I did. They'd leave me all alone in my big house with a nanny while they went off to Paris or London or someplace really nice for long periods of time. I hated when they did that because I didn't like being left with my nanny; I wanted my mom and dad to drop me off and pick me up from school. I wanted them to be the ones to help with my homework or to go as chaperones on my field trips. When I was your age I promised myself that I would never become them and that I wouldn't miss my son or daughter's first day of school or school play or soccer game but I did. I let you down and I am so sorry I did that, Ryan."

"It's okay." He said quietly.

She shook her head. "I know you're upset with me and that's okay because I'd be mad at me too. I told you I'd be here when you woke up but I wasn't—"

"Where did you go?"

"To my mom's house."

"Why?"

"I was scared."

"I was scared too and I needed you but you weren't here." He argued.

"I know you were but you had Julian and Sam and Jack."

"They're not you."

She could tell there was something else going on with him but she wasn't sure just what it was. His attachment to her was unlike his with anyone else; he hadn't bonded like this with Julian and she was curious as to why. He had been just as nice, just as nurturing, just as fatherly as she had been motherly so why was he so worried and concerned about her? Why did he hold her to a higher standard than Julian?

"What's my surprise?" He asked tearing her away from her thoughts.

"What?" She asked slightly confused.

"You said you had to tell me a surprise; that's why I let you in my room."

"Oh, right." She grinned. "Remember the other day when we were in the car and you asked to have a little sister or brother to play with once Sam and Jack leave for college in a few months?"

Ryan nodded and Brooke could tell he was completely lost. She opened her mouth to speak again but he cut her off suddenly. "Wait! Shouldn't Julian and Sam and Jack be in here when you tell me the surprise? I wouldn't want them to miss out. I want to share it with them because I bet it's a really good one."

"Go get them." She said. His compassion for others was something she couldn't get enough of.

He returned with everyone in tow and out of breath. "Got 'em." He said as he plopped down on the bed next to Brooke. "You can tell me now."

She smiled as she felt Julian's hands on her shoulders and saw her three kids staring at her, waiting to hear what Ryan called 'a big surprise.'

"I'm pregnant." She said simply.

Sam squealed and began to jump up and down while the grin that grew on Jack's face was almost as big as Julian's. Ryan, however, was quiet and pensive as he stared down into his lap.

"What's wrong, Ry?" Julian asked. "Aren't you excited to be a big brother?"

"I have two questions." He replied. "One is are you going to get rid of me now since you can have your own baby?"

"Baby," Brooke sighed. "How many times do we need to tell you that no matter what we are never getting rid of you. Never ever."

He shrugged. "I just get scared."

"Well you don't have to be." Julian assured him. "We love you."

"I love you, too." He responded.

"What's your other question?" Sam asked.

"Are you going to get rid of the baby?"

All four of them furrowed their brows as they looked at each other before at Ryan. "Why would we do that?" Brooke asked.

"My daddy got rid of my little sister because he said that I was being a terrible big brother and letting her get into too much trouble. He said that a boy was better to keep so I could help him when I got older or else he would have gotten rid of me too."

Brooke looked horrified and had paled about three shades. "When did he do that, sweetheart?" She asked.

He shrugged. "A little bit before he went away to heaven. I didn't even get to say goodbye." He said sadly.

"What was her name?" Julian asked as he reached for Brooke's hand.

"Emma." He answered.

"We're not getting rid of this baby," Brooke assured him as she pulled him closer. "Just like we're not getting rid of you."

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A few days later, Julian and Brooke were on their way to Dr. Turner's office. He had finally convinced her to talk to someone about how she was feeling concerning contemplating suicide and Ryan's latest horror story from his past life. "I told you that I'm fine and it's not going to happen again." She said softly as he parked the car.

He cut the engine before turning to look at her. "I know you did. I'm just scared because you didn't show any signs of depression. I didn't pick up on your suicidal thoughts and that scares me more than you'll ever know. I'm hoping that this will help both of us." He said as he reached for her hand. "You ready?"

She nodded and they both got out of the car and headed into the office.

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"How's Ryan doing?" Haley asked as she, Sam and Jack ate lunch in her classroom. Sam and Jack had been coming up there for lunch everyday to work on assignments under Haley's supervision to ensure that they got done.

"Good," Sam answered before taking a bite of her sandwich. "He had his first day of school last Monday. He really likes it." She wanted to tell Haley about Brooke's pregnancy but she as well as Jack and Ryan had been sworn to secrecy by Brooke and Julian; they didn't want anyone to know just yet.

Haley nodded at her words. "How about Brooke and Julian? I haven't seen them in a few days and that seems like forever."

"They're pretty content with their lives right now." Jack shrugged. "You know, constantly smiling and laughing and giggling. It's kind of nauseating."

Haley couldn't help but laugh. "How come?"

Jack and Sam glanced at each other before replying in unison. "No idea."

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"I hear you're pregnant." Peyton said as she stood in the kitchen at Jess and Lucas's house. Jess nodded and blushed. It was awkward just standing and making small talk with her fiancé's ex-wife. She wished Lucas and Connor would hurry up and get downstairs. Finally, she heard them making their way toward the kitchen.

"Hey buddy." Peyton greeted. "Did you have fun last night?"

Connor nodded eagerly. "I'm going to be a big brother again!"

Peyton smiled as she tried to hide her surprise. She hadn't thought Jess and Lucas would tell him so soon. "I just hope she has a boy. A boy would be so much funner!"

"I bet Sarah's a bunch of fun." Lucas tried.

Connor shook his head. "All she likes to do is play with her stupid dolls."

They all couldn't help but laugh.

"When can I stay there again?" Connor asked as Peyton drove home.

"Whenever you want." She answered.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. "I asked her if I could call her mommy."

Peyton stared at her son through the rearview mirror. "What did she say?" She asked warily, unsure she wanted to hear his response.

He sighed. "That it would probably hurt your feelings since you're my real mommy but if she's marrying daddy doesn't that mean she'll be my new mommy? Daddy said the baby in her tummy will either be my brother or sister so won't that make Jess my mommy if she's the baby's mommy? I was really mad when they told me no so I told them I'd ask you if I could call her that, can I mommy?"

Peyton didn't answer. Instead, she focused all of her attention on the road in front of her because if she didn't, she knew she would lose control of the car just like she felt she had lost her son to another woman.

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"When did you start having thoughts of suicide?" Dr. Turner asked Brooke who sat nervously across from him holding Julian's hand.

She shrugged. "Maybe two months ago?" She guessed.

"Do you know why you had them?"

"I felt like a failure. I came home for this all those years ago. I gave up everything I had because I wanted a family so when I found out I couldn't have one I was devastated." She said. "And I know I could have just adopted and everything would have been fine but we did that and I thought it would be but it wasn't."

Dr. Turner nodded as he scribbled a few words down on the notepad that sat on his lap. "Do you love the child that you adopted?"

"Of course." She answered quickly. "I love him as if he were my own…"

"But," Dr. Turner encouraged.

She looked over at Julian who squeezed her hand. "It's just not the same."

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"So when does the baby come out of you?" Ryan asked as Julian and Brooke tucked him in bed.

"Not for a little while, sweetie." Brooke said as she sat down on the edge of his bed. "The baby will be here in September."

"Right when I go back to school?" He asked incredulously. "I'm never going to see it!"

Julian smiled. "You'll see the baby all the time. You'll see her in the mornings before you go to school and then you'll see her in the afternoons when you get home and you'll get to spend all night with her. And, guess what?"

"What?"

"It'll just be you, me, Brooke and the baby since Sam and Jack will be off at college."

Ryan's eyes lit up. "I won't have to share her with them! I'll be the biggest and best brother ever!"

Julian grinned as he leaned down to kiss him goodnight before Brooke did the same. They were almost out of his room when they heard him call their names.

"I have a question." He said softly.

"It's getting late, buddy. You really need your sleep." Brooke responded. Lately, Ryan's questions had been long and involved and he had been asking them right before he was supposed to fall asleep. Brooke and Julian both knew that he was trying to put off going to bed for as long as he possibly could but they couldn't make him stop because he'd just ask anyway. Last night's question had been why are certain people different colors and why does everyone look different from each other. He wanted to know if he had a twin somewhere in the world because there were two twin boys in his class at school.

"It's a quick one. I promise." He assured them.

"Okay," Julian said tiredly as he leaned against the threshold of the door. "Ask away."

"Am I allowed to call you mommy and daddy because that's who you are to me? You give me a house to live in; you make me pancakes every morning because you know its my favorite food and you love me even if I color on the walls—"

"Yes." Brooke cut him off as she made her way toward him and wrapped her arms around his small frame.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." He said when he felt Brooke's tears hit his skin.

She shook her head. "These are happy tears, Ry."

He looked up at her and smiled before hugging her again. "Come on daddy! Join the hug!" He exclaimed as he waved Julian over.

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"Are you scared?" Sam asked as she and Jack lay in her bed. They weren't allowed to sleep in the same room but they could be together until ten-thirty each night before they had to separate. That was the rule and if it were broken there were consequences; Sam and Jack had learned that the hard way even though it was a total accident.

"About what?"

"Next year." She answered. "What if we don't get into the same school? What if we do and something happens and we break up? I need you in my life, Jack."

He turned on his side so he was facing her. "Just remember what you just said and we'll be fine. We're going to make it and everything will work out like we planned."

"Plans go astray all the time." She argued. "What's going to make ours work?"

"I love you and you love me. That's all that matters and that's what's going to make this work. We care way too much about each other to just let something small tear us apart. We're going to make it through college, get married, have kids and live happily ever after together."

Sam was about to respond when she heard a fierce knock coming from the front door. It was almost ten at night, who could possibly be at their house? She opened the door and was surprised to see the person standing on the other side.

"Can we spend the night?" He asked.

She crouched down to his height. "What are you doing here, Jamie? Where are your parents?" She asked as she looked outside expecting to see Nathan or Haley but instead she saw no one.

"They're yelling at each other and Chester and I can't sleep when they're yelling so I told him we are going to Aunt Brooke's house to get some rest." He said as he moved inside the house with Chester on a leash.

"Do your parents know you're here?"

Jamie shook his head. "They were too busy yelling to notice that I left."

"Jack's in my room if you want to go see him while I go tell Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian you're here, okay?"

Jamie nodded and led Chester up the staircase while Sam headed toward Brooke and Julian's room. She knocked twice before entering. "Jamie's here." She said.

"With Nathan and Haley? Why? Did something happen?" Brooke panicked.

Sam shrugged. "All I know is he walked two blocks from his house to our house with that rabbit on a leash at ten at night."

"Do Nathan and Haley know he's here?" Julian asked.

Sam shook her head.

"Hey buddy," Brooke said as she entered Sam's room where she found Jack petting Chester and talking to Jamie. "What's up?"

"Can I stay here tonight? Please?" He begged.

"What's going on at your house that you can't sleep there?" She inquired.

"Momma and daddy keep yelling at each other. They're too loud."

Brooke nodded and glanced over at Julian who shrugged. She got up and whispered in his ear that she was going to call Haley to let her know they had Jamie. Julian sat down on the edge of the bed and started asking Jamie about school and other things to keep him distracted.

She paced in the kitchen while the phone rang on the other end; finally she picked up. "Haley!" She exclaimed. "What the hell is going on over there?"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Jamie's here. He—"

"What do you mean he's there? At your house? How is that possible?"

"He walked over here because he said he couldn't sleep since you and Nathan won't stop yelling at each other. What's going on, Hales?"

There was a long pause on the other end and with each passing second of silence Brooke grew more wary. "Haley?"

"He's leaving, Brooke." She said so softly Brooke had barely heard her.

"What do you mean he's leaving? Nathan? Where's he going?"

"Los Angeles. He's going to play for the Lakers."

Brooke sighed. "Okay," She said. "It'll be like the time he played for Phoenix. You'll just have to rely on e-mail, skype, phone calls and that sort of thing."

"When he played for Phoenix we didn't have a family, it was different back then. The only reason I wasn't with him was because my dad was dying and I needed to be there for him. I told Nathan how I felt about him taking the position in LA but he completely disregarded what I had to say. I told him if he took the job we wouldn't be here when he came back."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?" Brooke asked.

"Whose side are you on?" She asked bitterly.

"I'm not on anyone's side but I do have to look out for Jamie. He's my godson and right now, I'm not sure who the worse parent is: Nathan for leaving his kids behind while he goes off to play basketball on the other side of the country or you, for giving your husband an ultimatum without thinking about how it'll affect your kids." She said. "I was just calling to let you know that Jamie is here and he's safe and he's begging to spend the night. I think it is in you and Nathan's best interest to let him stay here while the two of you figure things out. I can come and get Sarah in the morning if you want."

"Okay." She said meekly.

"And Haley?"

"Yeah?"

"You've been together almost nine years now; don't throw it all away over something like this. Talk to him, listen to him. He's your husband and the father of your children and I know deep down you don't want to lose him just like he doesn't want to lose you. You're going to make it through this." Brooke assured her.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." She replied. "Goodnight."

"Night, Brooke."

As she placed her phone down she wondered how long Nathan had before he left. Could they save their marriage in time or would it all be over before he left? She wasn't sure but she knew as she climbed the staircase back to where she heard everyone laughing, she couldn't let Jamie suffer as a result of his parents' anger toward one another. "You're spending the night!" She exclaimed as she walked back into the room.

"Yay!" Jamie cheered as he jumped up and down on the bed.

"But you have to go to sleep mister, it's late." She said.

"Where?" Jamie asked.

He had a point. They were running out of room in their house and with Sarah coming over the next day they were going to be crammed for space.

"We can put a sleeping bag out in Ryan's room on the floor. You just have to be super quiet when you go in there so you don't wake him up." Julian suggested.

"Okay." Jamie shrugged. "Can Chester sleep with me too?"

"You didn't bring a cage for him?" Brooke asked.

Jamie shook his head. "It was too heavy."

Julian laughed at Brooke's face of terror when she realized the bunny would be loose in the house all night. "Just make sure he stays in Ryan's room with you, okay?" He said.

They had finally gotten everyone settled and by that time both of them were exhausted but she couldn't sleep. She was tossing and turning unable to get comfortable. "Julian?" She whispered into their dark room. "Are you awake?"

He laughed quietly. "How can I sleep with you constantly moving?"

"Sorry." She mumbled as she scooted closer into his embrace so his arm was wrapped around her and her head rested on his shoulder.

"What's on your mind?" He asked before kissing the top of her head and squeezing her.

She stayed quiet for a few minutes as she contemplated how to put what she was thinking into words before speaking. "We need to find her, Julian. We need to find her and bring her home."

"Emma?"

She nodded. "Who knows what kind of a life she has now. What if she's sitting in an orphanage somewhere where they don't take care of her? What if she was put in someone's home where they abuse her? She's his sister and they're supposed to be together."

He remained quiet for a few moments before he divulged a secret. "I hired a private investigator earlier today."

She pulled away and looked up at him. "You did what?"

"They belong together; they're brother and sister and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life wondering what if we had looked harder for her? If we don't find her with the help of the PI at least we can say we tried but I'm not just going to sit around and pretend like she doesn't exist."

She looked at him for a few more seconds before leaning in and kissing him. "I love you, you know that?" She whispered huskily against his neck.

He nodded. "This is nice." He said softly.

"What? Me you and our baby lying together in bed in total bliss and happiness?" She grinned.

"That, and having a house full of happy kids. I didn't realize until I was sitting in Sam's room with all of them how much I've been craving this my entire life. They're happy and safe and content and it got me to thinking. Maybe this is the way my life was supposed to be; maybe all these kids are a part of my life for a reason and I was meant to do this."

"Do what?" She asked.

"Be a dad. I really doubted my ability until earlier tonight when Ryan asked if he could call me daddy. It makes me think that all the Megan drama, all the infertility mishaps and all the other hardships we've encountered along the way were worth it. It got me to today where my son is able to look up to me as a role model and call me dad."

She smiled at him before snuggling up to him. This time, sleep came easily for both of them but she fell asleep first. He grinned down at her sleeping form in his arms before placing his hand on her stomach. They had come a long way in two years and he couldn't be happier or more excited for the months that were about to follow.

Review please!


	30. Help

Chapter Thirty: Help

Brooke woke up Saturday morning to the sound of silence, which she thought was strange considering she had a house full of kids. She rolled over to see that it was a little before seven which explained the silence; she knew no one would be up for a good hour or two. Carefully, she slid out of bed not to wake Julian and crept out of their room into the kitchen. Once she was there she made herself a cup of coffee before walking out the back door and settling down into a chair on the porch that looked out at the water. She enjoyed the sound of the waves crashing against the shore as she drank her warm coffee and thought about what she would do when she went over to pick up Sarah. Should she try and talk to Nathan or Haley or just get Sarah and get out? She wasn't sure and part of her was dreading going over there but she had to do it for Sarah.

She knocked twice before pushing the heavy oak door open and was surprised when she didn't hear any yelling. She had anticipated walking in on Nathan and Haley screaming at each other like they had apparently been doing all last night. She saw her two-year-old goddaughter sitting in the living room playing with blocks all alone and glanced worriedly at Julian who had insisted on coming with her. "Hey, sweetie." She greeted as she knelt down beside her. "Where are your momma and daddy?"

"Upstairs." Sarah responded without looking at Brooke or Julian. "Play?" She handed her a yellow block.

"I bet Uncle Julian would love to play with you." She said as she got up. "I'm going to go tell mom and dad I'm taking you back to my house for a little bit."

As she climbed the staircase she saw his suitcase out in the hallway ready to go. She knew they had made it through when Haley went on tour and when Nathan played for Phoenix at the start of his career but those times were different. They didn't have children to think of, they weren't a family yet and that, Brooke thought, was the hardest part. Somewhere along the way, Haley and Nathan had forgotten about the toll their fighting would take on Jamie and Sarah. She took a deep breath before she walked into the bedroom where she found Nathan packing another suitcase with Haley nowhere in sight.

"When do you leave?"

He turned to see her standing in the doorway. "Hey you." He smiled.

"Hi."

"Are you here to pick up Sarah?" He asked as he folded a shirt, avoiding her previous question.

She nodded. "Where's Haley?"

He shrugged. "She wasn't here when I woke up this morning. She might be grocery shopping or something like that. Maybe meeting with a divorce lawyer? I don't know."

"Nate," She sighed as she sat down on their bed. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"Give up." She said as she reached for a shirt to fold. "You two have been together for nine years, you have two beautiful kids, you survived her tour, your early fails, the nanny from hell and a scandal that rocked you both to the core and tested your faith in each other. Why are you going to throw everything you have away now?"

He put the shirt he was folding down and sat down beside her. "I tried, Brooke. I tried to talk her into moving but she wouldn't budge. It's not fair."

"Did you listen to her? And I mean really listen to what she had to say? Six years is a long time to be gone. A lot can change in that amount of time. Jamie will be fourteen, Sarah will be eight and you'll have missed out on the first six years of this little one's life." She said as she placed her hand on her stomach.

She watched, as his eyes grew wide. "You're pregnant?" He asked in disbelief.

She smiled and nodded. "You're the first person we've told besides the kids."

He reached across the bed and pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," She blushed. "I kind of forgot how it felt to be this happy. Julian and I can't stop smiling at each other and the kids are so excited to have a little baby around. It's a shame you're going to miss out on all of the hoopla that's sure to follow our announcement."

"Are you trying to guilt me into staying?"

She smiled and nodded. "Maybe just a little bit." She smirked but then shook her head. "I just want you to go for the right reasons not just to spite Haley." She said. "I want the two of you to sit down and talk, not yell, about what's going on and why you've decided to do this and play there as apposed to here. I'll do whatever it takes to get the two of you to stay together because you're my inspiration and without you I have nothing to look to as a model for the way I want my life and marriage to be. If it means watching Jamie and Sarah for a week each month so Haley can fly out to California to spend time with you, so be it. I'll do whatever it takes, Nathan."

"Thank you." He said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "You and Julian better send lots of pictures and let he or she know how much their Uncle Nathan loves them. I don't want your kid not knowing who I am when I show up in his or her life."

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Later that afternoon, Jack and Sam returned from the craft store with enough arts and craft supplies to keep Jamie, Ryan and Sarah occupied for days. As they sat in the living room working on painting little wooden treasure chests, Brooke and Julian prepared dinner in the kitchen. Just like his first night in the house, Ryan kept an eye on Brooke and Julian while he worked on his art project. Suddenly, he dropped his paintbrush and screamed as he shot up from the floor.

"Stop it!" he yelled as he watched Julian playfully pin Brooke against the counter and reach for the salad tongs as she squealed. "Let her go!"

Julian instantly released his grip on Brooke and held his hands up to show Ryan that he wasn't hurting her. "It's okay, buddy—"

"No it's not!" Ryan screamed. "You were hurting her!"

"Ryan, shhh," Brooke soothed as she knelt down to his height. "He wasn't hurting me, we were just playing. I'm fine."

He shook his head. "Dennis used to do that to Kate and she'd scream just like you did. She always had purple marks on her arms from where Dennis held on to her and she'd wear long sleeves even on the hottest days because she didn't want people to see what he did."

Ever since Ryan had adapted to calling Brooke and Julian mom and dad, he had started referring to his birth parents by their first names. At first Brooke and Julian were confused but when they talked to Judy she said it was normal and okay for him to do that; it showed he was no longer attached to them but rather to his new family and surroundings.

Brooke looked up at Julian before looking back down at their son. "Is that the only thing he ever did to her?"

Ryan shook his head. "He was really mean to her. He hit her and yelled at her and threw things at her when he got mad. It was scary."

It all made sense now to Brooke as to why he was so protective and clingy to her and was still wary and distant of Julian. The only male in his life had been Dennis who had abused his mom right in front of him. Ryan was terrified Julian would treat her like Dennis had treated Kate.

"Sweetheart," Brooke said gently. "Daddy's not going to hurt me, ever. He loves me a lot just like I love him a lot and when you love someone you don't hurt him or her or be mean to them. Mommy was teasing daddy over in the kitchen and I made that noise because I knew he was about to tickle me and you know how much I don't like being tickled." She smiled. "You don't have to be scared of daddy; he's not going to hurt me."

Ryan glanced over at Julian before looking back at Brooke. "Promise?"

"I promise." She assured him. "Now why don't you go wash up for dinner? It'll be ready in a few minutes."

He leaned in and kissed her nose before scampering off to the bathroom to wash his hands. She sighed as she stood up and walked over to Julian. "I think the two of you should spend the day together tomorrow." She said.

"But he hates me." Julian protested.

"He does not. He wouldn't call you daddy if he hated you."

"I think he only calls me that because he likes to call you mommy. He feels like he _has_ to call me that."

"Julian," She said as she took his hands into her own. "He does not hate you. He loves you for what you've done for him, you've given him a home and love and support, which is more than Dennis ever gave him. Tomorrow is going to be a good day for you two, it'll bring you closer."

"What if he doesn't want to go?" He asked as he carried the salad bowl to the table.

"He will."

"What are we going to do with Sarah and Jamie?"

"Jack can take care of them while Sam and I run some errands." She explained. "Stop trying to get out of this."

He laughed. "I'm not! I'm just making sure everyone is cared for."

"Well, they are." She grinned before calling everyone down to the table for dinner.

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"I feel like we haven't had a day to ourselves for the longest time." Brooke said as she and Sam made their way down one of the aisles at the grocery store. "I miss you."

Sam shrugged. "I miss you too but you're busy with Ryan and now Jamie and Sarah, its okay."

"What's going on with you?" Brooke asked as she stopped walking.

"I miss the way it used to be. I miss it being just you, Jack, Julian and me." She said softly. "I love Ryan but it's just different, you know?"

Brooke nodded as she wrapped her arm around Sam. "It is different." She agreed. "But I should have paid more attention to you and how this made you feel while everything was changing. I'm sorry."

"So, got anything you're too scared to tell Julian but don't mind telling me?"

That was what she did. At first Brooke didn't know what to think when Sam would all of a sudden change the subject to something completely different but as time went on she realized it was her way of moving forward. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with what was being said or going on, it was just that she had felt there had been closure and it was time to move on to something different.

"Actually," Brooke said as she reached for a bottle of vegetable oil. "There is something."

Sam's eyes lit up. "And what would that be?"

She glanced down at her list and took longer than needed to review the items; Sam knew she was trying to buy time and she then realized the seriousness of what Brooke was about to say.

"I want to go see him." She said finally.

Sam furrowed her brow. "Who?"

"Matt."

Sam stared at her in disbelief. "The bastard who beat and raped you? Brooke, you can't be serious—"

"I am." Brooke cut her off. "Millie got a phone call from the hospital the other day saying that he was out of his coma. I don't know how to tell Julian."

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"What are we doing today?" Ryan asked from the backseat as Julian drove around Tree Hill.

Julian grinned. "You're going to help me pick something out for mommy."

Ryan's eyes lit up. "I am?"

He nodded. "I need a lot of help because I'm really torn between these two things."

"I'm good at making decisions, don't worry." Ryan assured him. "Like today, I had my blue shirt and my red shirt hanging in my closet and at first I wasn't sure which one to wear but then all of a sudden I just knew today was a red day. You knew it was a red day too, huh?" He asked as he nodded toward the red polo Julian was wearing.

He looked down at his red shirt and smiled. He had been dressed and ready before Ryan was even awake and Ryan had seen him down in the kitchen in his red shirt while they ate breakfast. It wasn't a coincidence that they were both wearing red, he realized, Ryan had chosen that shirt specifically because he wanted to be just like his dad. As he sat there with a grin on his face, Julian knew that Ryan really did look up to him and love him contrary to his belief that he didn't because of Dennis. "We're here, buddy." He said as he turned around to face his son.

Ryan peered out the window and didn't see anything special, no clothing store, no car dealership, and no jewelry store. What kind of surprise did his dad need help picking out? "Where are we?" He asked.

Julian didn't say anything; instead he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car before helping Ryan out as well. Together they waited next to the car until a man in a Mercedes pulled up. Ryan followed Julian as he walked up to the man and shook his hand. "Chris, I'd like you to meet my son Ryan. He's going to help me make my decision."

Chris knelt down to Ryan's height and extended his hand, which Ryan took and shook. "Your dad's going to need a lot of help today, he's really torn."

"What does he have to choose between?" Ryan inquired; the suspense was killing him. "Are you driving us someplace else to get to the surprise for my mommy?"

Chris couldn't help but smile. "Nope, we're here. We will however need to drive to see the other option your dad can't decide between."

"I don't get it." Ryan said as he stared up at Julian. "What's the surprise?"

Julian scooped Ryan into his arms as Chris led them away from their cars. "You know how mommy has a baby in her belly?" Julian asked and waited for Ryan to nod. "Well, once the baby comes there's going to be six of us living in the house we're living in now and it's going to be a little crammed. So I thought you could help me pick out our new house."

Ryan stared at Julian in disbelief as a grin appeared on his face. "We could live here?" He asked as he gazed up at the house they were about to enter. "But this house is huge!"

Julian laughed. "That's the point. We need a big house for a big family."

He tried to wiggle his way out of Julian's arms. "Can I go look around?" He asked once he was on solid ground again. He nodded and watched as Ryan ran around the empty house.

They stayed at the first house for a little bit before driving over to the other one. The houses were about the same size and were still in Tree Hill. They were only separated by two streets but one house sat on the beach while the other had a big grassy yard for the kids to play and that was his biggest dilemma. Hopefully Ryan would have a preference as to which one he wanted to live in.

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"Brooke and Julian offered to watch them one week a month so you could fly out and visit me." Nathan argued at the kitchen table with Haley sitting across from him. They had been fighting like this for almost two hours now and they had yet to make any progress. In four hours the house would be silent because Nathan would be gone and Jamie and Sarah would still be with Brooke and Julian. It scared her that she would be all alone.

She shook her head. "That's not fair to them, Nate. They have their hands full with Sam and Jack and now Ryan, it's not fair to dump our two kids on them so we can rendezvous out in California."

He shrugged at her reasoning. "Plus they'll have a newborn to take care of in a couple months."

"Exactly, they'll have the baby—" She stopped suddenly once she realized what she had said. Nathan noticed the huge grin that appeared on his face and shook his head when he saw her smiling and waving her finger at him. "They're pregnant? And you knew before me? She must be thrilled! Tell me—"

"No." He cut her off. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. The only reason I know is because Brooke tried to guilt me into staying earlier this morning when she stopped by to get Sarah. I don't even think Jess knows she's pregnant."

Haley nodded and the feeling of pure joy and excitement vanished. She was transported back to the reality of fighting with her husband over moving across the country. "What can I say to make you stay?"

"I don't want to leave you and the kids. I really don't but this is a great opportunity for me." He sighed as he leaned back in the chair. "I love you, Haley."

She reached across the table for his hand and squeezed it. "I love you too and I always will." She said softly. "Do we try this? Do you go and I fly out in a few weeks to visit you or do we give up on each other and nine years worth of love and work because we can't see where the other is coming from?"

He leaned forward and reached for her other hand. "We try this." He said.

"But what if it doesn't work? What if we grow apart as a result of the distance between us? What if—"

He shook his head. "We're not going to. I love you and the kids way too much to lose you."

Her eyes were full of tears as she nodded her head. "Okay, then. Let's try this."

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"Aunt Brooke?" Jamie asked as they were gathered around the kitchen table playing Chutes and Ladders. "Why can't I live here with you and Uncle Julian?"

"Because you have a mommy and a daddy who would miss you too much if you moved in with us." She answered as she bounced Sarah on her lap as she played with the spinner. She wished Julian was there to help her with Jamie's question but he had taken Sam and Jack along with Ryan on a mini road trip. Brooke knew something was up because Ryan kept telling her that Julian was taking him on a top-secret car ride after dinner; one that she wasn't allowed on. "Why would you want to live here anyway? Don't you think it's too crowded with all these people?"

Jamie shook his head. "I love it here. You and Uncle Julian never yell at each other, we have pancakes every morning for breakfast and I can play games with Ryan whenever I want. It's happy here unlike my house where it's sad."

She sighed. "Your mom and dad are just going through a really tough time right now, that's why it's sad at your house but everything will be happy again soon. Uncle Julian and I have our moments where we scream and yell at each other but we try to do it when no ones home so no one feels scared or uncomfortable. And whenever you want to play with Ryan you just call me up and I'll come get you, okay?"

Jamie nodded. "I'm really glad you're my aunt."

"Me too, buddy. Me too." She smiled as she hugged him.

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They stood in the airport with their arms wrapped around one another, her face against his chest with tears pouring from her eyes as he buried his face in her neck breathing in her scent knowing he wouldn't smell her for at least six weeks. "It's going to be okay." He repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time since they got to the airport. They both heard the last boarding call for his flight to Los Angeles and they knew it was time to let go.

"I love you so much." She cried as he squeezed her tight.

"The next six weeks will fly by," He assured her before giving her one last deep kiss. "You'll see."

They let go of each other and she watched as he walked away from her and toward his plane. She couldn't bear to watch him step into the tunnel so she turned away once he handed the clerk his ticket and began to walk back toward her car. Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms snake themselves around her waist and whip her around. She was about to cry out when she saw it was Nathan. "I can't." He said as he shook his head. She watched the tears fall from his eyes and it took a moment for her to fully understand what was going on. She shook her head in disbelief and smiled as she placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him passionately in the middle of the airport.

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"Did the two of you enjoy your day today?" Brooke asked as she washed her face before bed.

He nodded before spitting into the sink and placing his toothbrush in its' holder. "He was a big help."

She furrowed her brow. "For what?"

Julian ignored the question as he climbed into bed. He watched as she rinsed the soap off her face and reached for her toothbrush. He grinned when he saw her turn to the side and lift up her shirt to reveal her flat stomach. The toothbrush hung in her mouth as she placed both of her hands on her stomach and smiled. She had no idea he was watching her but out of the corner of her eye she saw him smiling at her and she instantly felt embarrassed as she pulled her shirt back down. "You're too cute." He said as she climbed into bed next to him.

"Shut up." She laughed. "You're just saying that to make me feel less embarrassed."

"I am not." He argued. "But when were you thinking about telling Jess? I mean, we need to start going to doctor's appointments now that we're having a baby."

She shrugged. "What if we go and she tells us there's no baby? That we read the test wrong and we're not pregnant?"

"We're having a baby, Brooke." He assured her as he pulled her closer.

"But what if we're not?" She argued.

"We are."

She sighed heavily and nodded. She wasn't sure where the sudden panic came from but deep down she knew, just like Julian, that they were having a baby. "There's something I need to tell you." She whispered as she looked up at him. "Matt's out of his coma."

Julian nodded at the information but didn't say much else. He just squeezed her tighter against his body and kissed the top of her head. She knew what she was about to say next would get a little more of a reaction out of him so she braced herself before speaking.

"I want to go see him." She said.

She expected him to ask her why and yell and scream and call her a fool for saying such a thing but instead, he kissed her again and said okay.

"You're not supposed to be okay with this." She said as she pulled away from him. "You're supposed to tell me I'm not allowed to go and that this is a stupid idea. We're supposed to fight over this, Julian."

"What good would that do us?" He asked. "I know he won't be able to hurt you because he's in restraints and he's in the hospital with a guard 24/7. I know that you need closure in order to move forward from this and if you want to go alone it's okay but if you want me to come I'll stand right next to you the entire time."

"I want you to come with me." She said softly.

"Then I'll come." He said as he kissed her temple.

She lay in bed in his arms listening to the soft sound of his snore wondering why he had been so calm about her wanting to see Matt. He was the man who had broken into her dorm room and forced himself on her. He was the man who broke into her store with three of his friends and beat her, burned her and raped her. He was the man who had caused her so much emotional damage and media coverage. Julian had been the one who had flown across the country the moment he found out about her just to be by her side. Julian had been the one who cared and looked after her following the attack. Julian had been the one who was there to pick up the pieces once she found out she couldn't have children. Julian had been the one she married and started a life with. Julian had been the one who was supposed to keep her out of harms way and away from Matt. She knew she was reading way too much into it but she couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why Julian hadn't put up a fight when she suggested she go and see Matt. She knew she wouldn't be sleeping much tonight unlike her husband who was sound asleep and snoring.

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Review please!


	31. Damage

Chapter 31: Damage

It had been a week since she told him she wanted to go visit Matt and she had yet to go. Their lives, for the most part, had returned to normal. Jamie and Sarah went back to living at their house, Nathan and Haley no longer fought with each other, and Brooke and Julian continued to relish in the bliss of being pregnant. She knew she couldn't put off going to see Jess any longer so that afternoon she planned on going to the office with Julian. She didn't want to make an appointment because she knew Jess would hound her what it was for and Julian had assured her that Jess would make time no matter when she came in.

Ryan and Jamie had grown to be inseparable from each other. Ryan had slept over the night before and Nathan and Haley had agreed to watch him so Brooke and Julian could have a day to themselves. They planned on going to see Jess but didn't tell anyone since Brooke still feared there might not be a baby and she wanted to be sure when she finally told everyone. To Nathan's surprise, Haley didn't let on at all that she knew about the pregnancy and he was grateful for that; he knew how much trouble he would get in from Brooke if she knew he had told Haley.

Brooke hated that Peyton was so far away but she knew she couldn't help it. Mike's parents lived up in Philadelphia, which wasn't a problem when they went to visit for a weekend here and there but Peyton had been gone for over three weeks and Brooke was really missing her. Mike's mom had been told a few weeks prior that she had stage four pancreatic cancer. She had less than four months to live. The moment Mike and Peyton found out they flew up to Philadelphia with Connor and Hannah, they planned to stay there for Colleen's last few months and however long after she passed that Mike's dad needed them.

"So," Julian said as he walked into the kitchen with just a towel wrapped around his waist. "What does my wife feel like doing today? We have the whole day to ourselves."

"I don't know." She shrugged. "What could we do?"

She watched as he reached for a coffee mug, turned on the faucet, filled the mug with water and placed it in the microwave. "The possibilities are endless, really." He said as he pressed a few buttons before the microwave hummed to life.

She reached into the cabinet and retrieved a tea bag for him before grabbing the honey. "I think we should go and see Jess first thing. I won't be able to relax and enjoy myself if all I'm thinking about all day is the appointment."

"Okay," he nodded. "Let me go throw some clothes on and we can go."

She wrapped her arms around his wet body and pulled him close so she could kiss him. "Can we do this for the rest of the day, instead?" She asked as she lightly scratched his back and continued to kiss him. "Just lay in bed and kiss each other?"

He smiled into her kiss and nodded. "If that's what my wife wants to do than we'll do it."

She inhaled the familiar scent of his shampoo and after-shave as she reluctantly pulled away from him and shook her head. "We need to go see Jess."

A short while later they were at the practice but Brooke refused to get out of the car. She kept telling Julian she was scared and that she wasn't supposed to be pregnant so she couldn't possibly be. She read the tests wrong and there was no baby. After much convincing and a promise of ice cream after her visit, Julian had finally gotten her out of the car. She squeezed his hand tightly as they walked in the front door and he squeezed back reassuringly. Julian told the receptionist that Jess was his sister and that they had to see her as soon as possible, lucky for them, the receptionist said, her nine o'clock appointment had just cancelled so their was an opening. A nurse led them down the hallway to a room where Brooke sat nervously on the table while Julian sat in a chair on the other side of the room. When he saw how pale she had gotten in the few short minutes they had been left alone in the room full of baby posters and pictures, he sidled up next to her on the table and reached for her hand. Together, they sat and waited for Jess to open the door.

"Brooke!" She exclaimed when she opened the door and saw her brother and sister-in-law sitting in front of her. "What are you doing here?" She leaned over to hug both of them and Brooke couldn't help but notice how big Jess had gotten. It was only a small bump but the last time she had seen Jess there was nothing; it made her scared and excited at the same time. "Were you guys thinking of starting fertility treatments again? I know it can be hard to—"

"She's pregnant." Julian said. It took a minute for Jess to fully process what he had just said before a big grin appeared on her face. "Well, at least we think she's pregnant since the four tests read positive. We were hoping you could run a blood test or something to know for sure?"

Jess nodded eagerly as her smile grew bigger. "I can do an ultrasound if you want, do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

Brooke shook her head but Julian nodded.

"It'll be quicker than the blood test." Jess offered.

Brooke looked up at Julian before reluctantly agreeing to the ultrasound. It was one thing to have a simple blood test done and be told yes or no. It was another to have an ultrasound and wait as the wand moved around to hear a heartbeat. What if there wasn't one and it was just deafening silence? That was all she could think about as she laid down on the table and waited for Jess to squirt some of the jelly on her stomach. She squeezed Julian's hand and closed her eyes once she felt the wand moving around. Her heart sank when she didn't hear the watery sounds of a baby's heartbeat fill the room. She opened her eyes for just a moment to see her husband's crestfallen face and Jess mumbling something under her breath as she searched the screen in front of her for any trace of a baby. Julian looked over to see the tears spilling out of his wife's eyes while they remained shut. "It's okay." He whispered he whispered against her temple as he gently kissed her. His head shot up and her eyes flew open when the sounds of a heartbeat flooded the room. They were faint at first but grew louder with each passing second. All three of them stared at the screen and looked at the small speck of white pixels with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. "We're having a baby." Brooke finally said as she looked down at her stomach proudly.

They stayed and visited with Jess a while longer before heading out. She had given Brooke a prescription for prenatal vitamins, which she had stressed, were very important to take every day. Julian ran into the pharmacy to get it filled but instead of waiting around for it, he decided to take Brooke on a little drive and then come back for the medication. "Where are we going?" Brooke asked when he got back in the car and drove down unfamiliar streets.

"Home."

"We don't live down here." She said as she looked out the window just to make sure she wasn't mistaken. She wasn't. "Our house is a few blocks away."

"Our old house is a few blocks away." He corrected as he pulled into a driveway. "Our new home is right here."

He watched as she leaned forward and gazed out the windshield with her mouth open. "This is too big, there's no way we can afford this with Sam and Jack going away to college and a new baby on the way."

He smiled and placed his hand on her knee. "We have more than enough money." He assured her and he was right. They had just been featured in Forbes Magazine as one of Hollywood's richest and most powerful couples. "We need a bigger place, Brooke. Our family's growing and there's not enough room at the old house."

"Bigger than the old house is okay but this place is humungous, Julian!" She exclaimed. "This is what you see all those money hungry celebrities out in LA living in with a maid and a butler and all of that other crap. I've always been proud of the fact that we don't flaunt our money or power but with this house we are. And there is enough room back home. Sam and Jack are both leaving so that will open up two bedrooms, one for the new baby and one can go back to being a guest room."

He sighed. "I thought you were going to like the house." He said as he ran his hand down his face.

"I love this house, Julian!" She argued.

"Then why are you fighting this so much? Why are you coming up with all these reasons why you don't want to live here? Just because we have an extravagant house now doesn't mean we are going to let our money and fame control us. We have the money so why not buy a house that can suit all of our needs? It has a state of the art kitchen so I can cook all the time; it has a massive room in the back with floor to ceiling windows where you transform into a design studio so you can work from home instead of always going to the store. It has a sprawling front and back yard where the kids can play, we can install a swing set and a pool if you want to—"

"Can we go inside?" She asked suddenly. She didn't know why she had been fighting it, this was a dream home and it was theirs if she wanted it.

She followed him up the exquisite stone staircase to the front door and waited anxiously as Julian unlocked the house. She squealed when she stepped inside. She thought the outside was gorgeous but she was in love with the inside. Everything about the house was perfect. "When can we move in?" She asked as she looked around the empty house.

"Whenever you want." He shrugged as he wrapped his arm around her waist while they stood in the main foyer of the house looking all around them.

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"What happened to your real mom and dad?" Jamie asked Ryan as they played on the swing set in the back yard.

Ryan shrugged. "They died one day when I was at school."

"Do you miss them?"

Ryan didn't answer right away as he swung on the swing but after a few seconds he shook his head. "Am I supposed to?"

"I don't know. The only mom and dad I've ever had are the ones I've had for forever and I know that if something happened to them I'd really miss them. A lot."

"But yours are different. Yours are like mine now. You don't know what it's like to have a mom and a dad who don't like you and yell all the time." Ryan said.

"How could they not like you?" Jamie asked in disbelief. "Moms and dads are supposed to love their kids!"

Ryan shrugged. "Mine didn't."

Jamie looked at him sympathetically. "But now you have Aunt Brooke as your mom and Uncle Julian as your dad and they're the best people in the whole world!" He said.

Ryan smiled. "I know."

The two of them went back to playing on the swing set until Haley called them in for lunch. She smiled to herself when she sat at the table with them and they talked nonstop to each other. They already had their own code and at times Haley found it difficult to follow the conversation but Ryan and Jamie would start laughing uncontrollably. They were going to be thirty years old and still be the best of friends raising families right next door to each other. She smiled at the thought of it all and went back to eating her mac n' cheese that she had made for lunch as the two boys in front of her continued to talk animatedly and in code.

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They were still in the house marveling at its beauty when Julian's cell phone rang. He excused himself onto the back porch while Brooke took the time to call Haley and check up on Ryan. Julian returned a few minutes later and Brooke could tell by the expression on his face that something had happened.

"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Um," he sighed as he ran his hand down his face. "That was the private investigator I hired to look into what happened to Emma."

"What did he say?"

"He found her." He smiled in disbelief. "She's in Charlotte."

Instantly tears sprang to Brooke's eyes as she put a hand over her mouth. "Really?" She asked and her voice cracked.

Julian nodded as he stepped forward and pulled her into his embrace. "We're really going to need the extra space now." He smiled.

"We get to have her? She's not living with some other family?"

Julian shook his head. "She's been in the system ever since Dennis dropped her off a year ago. Robert, the PI, said that he was able to meet with her and he said she's pretty damaged. She's scared and timid and shy. He said that she doesn't talk a whole lot, barely said two words to him while he was there."

"Damaged how? Emotionally or physically?"

"Both." Julian answered. "When she got dropped off she had a broken arm that wasn't in a cast and a few bruises on her body. She's all healed physically but emotionally she's still got a long way to go. She's not going to be as easy as Ryan's been, it's going to be frustrating and difficult at times but I think she's worth it."

Brooke nodded her head in agreement. "I already love her and I haven't even met her yet. How ridiculous is that?" She asked as she wiped her eyes.

"It's not." He shook his head. "That's who you are and why I love you."

"When can we meet her?" She asked.

"The agency knows the situation and they're eager to meet us and introduce us to her so we can bring her into our family where she belongs." He said. "They're waiting for us now."

Her eyes bulged before a large grin appeared on her face. "Seriously?" She cried.

Julian nodded his head. "Are you ready?"

"Hell yes!" She exclaimed as she reached for his hand and led him out of their new house.

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She was beautiful. One of the workers dressed her up in a pink dress and put a bow in her hair for when she met Brooke and Julian. She had chestnut hair that was long and wavy and her dark brown eyes were wide with curiosity. Robert had been right, she was extremely timid and shy, but when Brooke sat down on the floor with a stuffed dog they had bought on their way, Emma cautiously walked over. She had just turned five and she looked just like Ryan. As they sat and played with her on the floor, Emma became less shy but she still hadn't said anything to them. The agency just needed a few papers to be signed and then they said they could take her home. Julian took care of all the paperwork while Brooke remained with Emma until he came back to get them. The ride home was quiet but not uncomfortable. They had agreed not to tell Emma that Ryan was back at the house but as they neared the house Brooke turned around to face her.

"Sweetie," She said softly. Emma turned her attention away from the passing trees outside the car to her new mom. "We have a surprise for you." Brooke watched as her eyes lit up but she didn't say anything. Julian turned into their driveway and saw Haley's car, she was waiting for them with Ryan. Neither of them knew they had found Emma and were bringing her home. "This is the house." Brooke said as she helped Emma out of her car seat. "But we're not living here long because we just bought a new house a few streets away." Emma nodded as she walked up the front steps of the house and waited for Julian to open the door.

"Momma! Daddy!" Ryan exclaimed when he saw the door open. He immediately sprang up from the floor where he and Haley were working on a puzzle. Both Brooke and Julian watched as his eyes bulged when he saw his little sister standing in front of them.

"Ryan!" She squealed as she ran toward her brother.

It was the first time they had heard her voice. They watched as Ryan jumped up and down in excitement and hugged her not wanting to let go. Haley, who knew all about trying to find Emma, stood off to the side with her hand over her heart and tears in her eyes. "You found her?" He asked in disbelief as he looked up at his parents.

Julian nodded as he knelt down to his son's level. "Why don't you go show her around the house? Show her all your toys and then why don't you pack an overnight bag, okay?"

Ryan eagerly nodded and took Emma by the hand before darting up the staircase to show her the house. Julian, Brooke and Haley listened to them giggle before shutting the door behind them.

"How amazing is that?" Haley asked as she wrapped both of them in a hug. "You found his sister!"

"We got the call today when we were at the new house. Its still a little surreal having her here but I wouldn't have it any other way." Julian said.

"New house?" Haley asked.

He nodded. "It was a surprise for Brooke. Ryan helped me and then I brought Jack and Sam to see it the other night. It's only a few streets away from here so we'll still be close. We just need a bigger place since the family keeps growing."

"Do Jack and Sam know about Emma?"

Brooke shook her head. "No one knows except for you. It was so sudden we didn't have a chance to call everyone and let him or her know we finally found her but I'll call everyone later on tonight. I also have some other news to share with them anyway."

"What would that be?" Haley grinned. She had been waiting for this moment ever since Nathan spilled the beans a week prior. She had practiced her reaction in front of the mirror a dozen times and she knew she had it down pat. She watched Brooke look up at Julian and smiling before looking at her.

"We're pregnant." She said simply.

"Oh my god!" Haley exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Brooke. "That's unbelievable!"

"She's only about five weeks along but we definitely having a baby; we heard the heartbeat today." Julian said proudly before kissing the top of her head.

"You must be thrilled!" Haley continued. "Who else knows?"

"No one besides Jess." Julian answered unaware that Brooke had told Nathan.

"When are you going to tell Peyton?" She asked.

Brooke shrugged. "I don't want to tell her over the phone—"

"But you also don't want to not tell her and have her return from Philly five months from now to see your bulging stomach. I don't think she'd like it if you kept this from her, she's your best friend."

"I know." She sighed. "I'll figure it out."

Haley stayed a little while longer before heading out. Ryan and Emma stayed up in Ryan's room playing until Sam and Jack came home. Emma was shy around both Jack and Sam when she was introduced to them; she preferred to cling to Julian's leg. All six of them packed an overnight bag and grabbed his or her sleeping bag before piling into the car. Ryan explained to Emma on the ride that this isn't what the family usually does every night. Usually they eat dinner and then watch some TV or play a game together before Sam and Jack go to sleep and mom and dad read a bedtime story. This was a special night though and he was positive his sister would have fun. Julian pulled into the driveway of the house and parked the car before he and Brooke helped everyone carry their stuff into the new house where they laid out their sleeping bags in the living room. Ryan and Emma lay right next to each other gigging and laughing about something Emma had said. Jack lay on top of his sleeping bag on his stomach facing Sam who was talking animatedly about something that had happened earlier in the day. And, Brooke sat in Julian's arms watching all of their kids with the biggest smile on her face. She felt Julian move his hand to her stomach and pat gently before she placed hers on top of his and looked up at him and smiled even bigger. Everything was as it should be.

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Review please!


	32. Leave

Chapter Thrity-Two: Leave

Everyone knew. Everyone knew that they had found Emma and adopted her and they also knew that she was pregnant. Everyone except for Peyton. Brooke had always looked forward to the day she would tell her best friend she was having a baby. She thought she'd have Peyton over for lunch and she'd give her a wrapped present to open. She'd sit on the edge of her seat as Peyton cautiously opened the gift unsure of what was inside and she'd watch her reach for the baby onesie she would have made that read _I have the world's best godmother! _Her and Peyton would then squeal and jump up in down out of pure excitement and joy. That however was not how Brooke would tell Peyton. She paced back and forth in the empty house; Julian had taken the all the kids over to the new house to unpack some boxes he had already brought over. With each ring that passed she felt herself growing more and more nervous. Finally Peyton picked up.

"Hey buddy." Brooke smiled into the phone. "How're you holding up?"

She heard Peyton sigh. "You know, better than some; worse than others. What about you?"

"I'm good. I miss my best friend like crazy though."

"I miss you too." Peyton replied.

"How's Mike?"

"He's a mess, Brooke. I don't know what to do to get him through this. I never saw Ellie this sick but it brings back those memories, you know, and I didn't think I'd be as emotional as I've been but I've been a mess the past couple of days."

She nodded. "I'm so sorry, Peyt."

"Me too." She sighed again. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay," Brooke said warily. She could tell by the tone of Peyton's voice it was something serious. She could hear Peyton taking deep breaths and she imagined her pacing in the kitchen just like she herself was doing she stopped when she finally heard Peyton speak.

"We're thinking about staying up here for good."

"You can't." Brooke said without thinking. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay, it's what I was expecting you to say. We've just been reminded of how short life really is with Colleen and what she's going through. Steve's having such a hard time with coming to terms with the fact that she's not going to be here in a few weeks and he's become so attached to the kids. We can't leave him, Brooke."

"Can't he come down here with you guys?" She knew she was being selfish.

"His whole life if up here." Peyton replied.

"And you whole life is down here. What about Connor? He needs to see Lucas, he's his dad, Peyton."

"I know," Peyton sighed. "We'll figure something out, he can come down there for school vacations and some holidays."

Brooke shook her head. "That's not fair to either one of them."

"What am I supposed to do, Brooke?" Peyton asked angrily. "You don't think this is hard for me? Leaving everything I know and love behind to move up to an unfamiliar city? I don't want to do this but sometimes you have to sacrifice the things you love for the person you love." She sighed into the phone. "Listen, I don't want to leave things like this between us but Hannah just woke up from her nap and she's crying and, well, you know, duty calls."

"Yeah," She sighed. "I know."

"Can I call you later?" Peyton asked meekly. She knew she had been a little short with Brooke but her emotions had been all over the place lately. She heard Brooke reply with a yes before telling her she missed her once more and then hanging up. As she placed her phone down in her lap she felt terrible for lying about Hannah just to get off the phone but she had to do it because she knew if she didn't she would start crying and she didn't want Brooke to think she wasn't okay.

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Later that evening as she prepared dinner while Sam and Jack worked on their homework and Emma and Ryan played in the living room, Brooke couldn't help but think about Peyton. Why hadn't she told her she was pregnant? When would she tell her? What about Emma? Her best friend was supposed to be the first person to know all these things not the last. She also couldn't shake the feeling that Peyton was hiding something, but what? Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Julian walk through the front door with a grocery bag in tow.

"Guess what I stopped to pick up on the way home?" He asked as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Peppermint stick ice cream and olives?" Brooke asked.

Julian nodded and watched as her eyes lit up. He took the contents out of the bag and put the ice cream in the freezer and the olives on the counter. Her pregnancy cravings were starting to kick in. "How was your day?" He asked as he stirred the pot of homemade chicken noodle soup she had made.

She shrugged. "It was okay I guess."

He eyed her as he placed the spoon down in the spoon rest beside the pot. "What happened?"

She ignored the question and instead asked him one that completely changed the subject. "When do you think we can move all these boxes into the new house?" She asked as she gestured around the house. While Julian worked during the day at his office, Brooke, Ryan and Emma packed up boxes of stuff to move into the house. They pretty much had everything packed except for the essentials since they were still living in the old house.

"I can take the day off on Friday and see if Luke wants to help. We could use his truck?" He suggested, ignoring the fact that she had changed the subject; he knew not to press her.

She nodded. "That'd be great. I just want to get moved in and start living there." She turned and told Ryan and Emma that dinner was ready before calling up the staircase to Jack and Sam. As they ate dinner, Julian watched his wife. She may have had their kids fooled by the way she smiled and laughed with them but he knew something was up. Every so often he'd catch her eye and she'd immediately look at one of their kids and he'd continue to watch her. He knew that sooner or later she'd come to him and tell him what was up but he wanted to know now. He hated knowing that she was struggling with something but until she came to him there was nothing he could do to help.

The next day was Thursday. Brooke hadn't slept well the night before and was up early with a bout of morning sickness through which Julian held her hair and rubbed her back. He had urged her to stay home from her store but she had refused. She hadn't eaten breakfast, much to his dismay, and he had noticed after she left that she had forgotten to take her prenatal vitamins for the past several days. He slammed his hand against the granite countertop and groaned in frustration, which earned him questioning looks from Sam and Jack who had stumbled into the kitchen for breakfast before school.

"What's up?" Jack asked groggily as he reached for the box of cereal.

"Ever since I came home yesterday from work Brooke's been a little off. I don't know what's going on and she hasn't been taking her vitamins which Jess had stressed were crucial to take. It's not like her to forget that kind of thing." He said.

"Did something happen with the baby?" Sam inquired.

Julian shook his head. "She would have told me."

"Her mom?" Jack asked.

Julian shook his head again. "She's been up in New York for the past month meeting with different companies for Clothes Over Bros."

"Then what could it be?" Sam wondered aloud.

Julian rubbed one hand down his face and the other through his hair. "I don't know and she's so damn stubborn that she won't come to me and tell me what's going on. I hate that and love that about her all at the same time." He nodded toward the staircase. "I better go wake them up and start getting them ready for school. You two finish up or else you're going to be late."

Julian walked into the room that Ryan and Emma shared and found them both awake and fully dressed. "How long have you two been up?" He asked.

Ryan shrugged. "I can't tell time."

Emma, having been with them for a little less than a month, still didn't say much to Julian or Brooke. She would, however, talk nonstop to Ryan so he often had to explain to his parents what Emma wanted or how she was feeling because she wouldn't tell them herself. Julian understood that it would take time for her to open up and become comfortable with her new surroundings after spending a year in the system but Brooke had taken it a lot harder. She tried nonstop to get Emma to talk to her and be comfortable without having Ryan around but Emma needed to see Ryan at all times or else she'd start crying or panicking. It had taken Julian a little while to figure out just how much this was affecting his wife because Brooke never verbalized how she was feeling until one night they were laying in bed and she asked if he thought Emma liked her. He told her of course she liked her but he knew where her feeling of doubt was coming from. Even though Emma didn't talk or show affection regularly it was clear that she favored Julian. When he would come home from work she'd smile up at him when he'd crouch down to her level, she'd sit in his lap while he read her a story before bed, she'd wake in the middle of the night and would cry until Julian came into her room to calm her. Brooke tried, there was no denying that, she'd crouch down when she'd get home but Emma would continue to play with her puzzle. She'd try to read a book but Emma would become restless and squirm out of her lap. She'd creep into her daughter's room in the middle of the night to quell her tears but she would push Brooke away but the moment Julian walked through her door she'd stop and reach for him. He kept telling her that Emma would get better and even though she didn't think she would, Brooke continued to try with her daughter. She wasn't going to give up just because Emma wanted nothing to do with her; she was stubborn like that.

"What do you say we go downstairs and have some breakfast before heading off to school?" Julian asked them as he picked Ryan's pajamas up off the floor.

Ryan and Emma nodded eagerly before heading toward the door and down the stairs. He smiled to himself for no apparent reason as he followed them toward the kitchen; he loved those kids so much it hurt.

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She sat in the back of the shop pinning a dress for alterations. It had been a slow day, which normally she would have loved since she could have gotten a lot of work done but today she hated it. As she sat in the silence of the empty shop she couldn't help but think about Peyton. She also thought about Matt and the fact that she had yet to go and see him. She groaned in frustration as she tossed the pincushion off to the side and stood up. She reached for her keys and purse before hurrying toward the door where she flipped the sign to _Closed_ before locking it. Once in her car, she reached for her cell phone to call Julian and it was then that she noticed how badly her hands were shaking. He picked up on the first ring. "Are you okay?" were the first words out of his mouth. She smiled at his concern; ever since Jess had confirmed she was pregnant he had been extremely protective of her. At first she found it annoying but as the days went on she realized how much she loved this side of him. "I'm fine." She answered. "Can I come see you?"

"What's wrong, Brooke?" He asked.

"Nothing."

He knew she was lying. The quiver in her voice gave her away. "Are you at the shop?"

She shook her head. "I'm in my car right outside the shop. I closed up for the day."

"Okay," he said as he began gathering papers and shoving them into his bag. "I'm on my way over there—"

"No, you're at work. It'll be easier for me just to come there since I already closed down." She argued.

"I don't want you driving. I can tell you're upset and it's pouring rain, I don't want anything to happen to you or our baby. I'm on my way, I'll meet you in the shop?"

She nodded before telling him she loved him and hanging up. She sighed heavily as she stared out the windshield to see the rain falling in sheets and groaned as she reached for the door handle before throwing herself out into the storm. She reached the door in a matter of seconds and quickly unlocked the store. Once inside, she tried to shake off the rain as she waited for Julian.

The door suddenly flew open and he practically jumped inside the store. "Some storm." He said as he tried to shake the rain off just like she had done a few minutes earlier. He slowly made his way toward her, unsure if he should hug her or give her some space but he got his answer when she started moving toward him. "What's wrong?"

"I just needed to see you." She said against his neck as he hugged her. He knew there was something more but didn't press her. "I missed you."

He sighed as he pulled away from her finally having enough. "I can't do this, Brooke." He said. "I can't keep waiting for you to come to me and tell me what's wrong after you've been struggling with it all by yourself for so long. It kills me to watch you pretend you're all right and for me to pretend I don't notice anything different about you."

"It's hard for me to tell you how I'm feeling or what's going on with me." She said. "Growing up, it was just me, myself and I. I dealt with things on my own because my mother was too busy shopping and traveling to care and my dad was never around to listen."

He eyed her. "You had Peyton. You guys are like sisters."

"We are," she nodded. "But I couldn't tell Peyton everything, she had so much going on in her life between her birth mom and then adopted mom and then her dad being away all the time and her worrying about him and then there was the whole Jake thing…she was just really fragile and I didn't want to make her more so by dumping all my problems on her."

He nodded. "I just find it hard to believe that you never went to Haley or Nathan or any one other of your friends when you were having a hard time to talk about what was going on. It's not healthy to keep all of your problems bottled up inside of you, especially when you're having a baby."

"I know that but you don't know how hard it is for me to open up to people, Julian."

"Yes I do, Brooke." He argued. "It took months of me trying to get you comfortable enough with me to open up and you're _still_ struggling to let me all the way in."

"I've never done it before. I've never let someone all the way in because I'm terrified of getting hurt like I did in the past." She said.

He groaned. "I'm your goddamn husband, Brooke! I'm not going to hurt you, I'm never going to leave you and you should know that by now! I love you way too damn much!"

"I know," She cried. "That's what scares me the most!"

"What?" He asked. "The fact that I love you more than you'll ever know? How the hell can that scare you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know it just does, okay?"

"Why?" He pressed.

"Because I feel like I don't deserve to be loved so much by you!" She yelled.

He was shocked. His jaw literally dropped when he heard her say what she had said and he shook his head in disbelief. "Why would you ever say something like that?" He asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know."

He moved toward her. "Yes you do."

"I never knew what love was until I met you. I never felt it from my parents and even though I was in love with Lucas he wasn't with me so I never knew what it felt like to _be_ loved. Being with you scared me because the one time before that I had felt that way was when I was with Lucas and you know how badly that ended for me. The whole time you and I were together I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop; for you to cheat on me, for another girl to show up, for you to leave me because you were in love with someone else. When you said you loved me I was scared shitless because I realized how real this had become, I realized that I loved you just as much as you loved me if not more but I was too scared to tell you that. When you asked Sam and I to come to LA with you I wanted to jump on that plane so badly but I couldn't because I was scared. I was scared that this was all too good to be true and if I went I would eventually end up heartbroken because that's the way it's always been for me. I know that I used Sam as an excuse and I know that was wrong. The day I left you in the airport was one of the worst days because I saw how much I had hurt you, I honestly didn't expect you to speak to me again after I did that to you, after I broke you heart because I was so scared you were going to break mine. So when you answered the night of my attack and said you were on your way I was shocked and ever since then I've felt undeserving of your love because of the way I had treated you in the past, especially that day in the airport. You've been nothing but good to me through everything; the aftermath of the attack, the whole Megan mess, my infertility and everything else. I—"

He had to stop her. He couldn't bear to listen to her trying to justify why she didn't deserve his love. So he kissed her. He leaned in and kissed her deeply cutting her off from whatever else she was going to say. "You need to stop being so scared." He whispered against her lips. "I'm never going to stop loving you and you are more than worthy of my love, Brooke. You leaving me at the airport that day was just a bump in the road of our relationship, we're married and expecting a baby together and I couldn't be happier. You and me, we're stuck like glue."

"I really love you." She said. "A lot."

He laughed softly. "I love you a lot too."

"Good." She giggled.

"So," he asked as he pulled her in for another kiss. "Did you tell Peyton about the baby yet?"

She wanted to lie and say yes she had told Peyton and she was overjoyed but she knew that was wrong and she couldn't do that. She opened her mouth to speak but the rain on the other side of the window outside the store enticed her. She looked at him before heading toward the door. "Brooke!" He called after her as he watched her. "Where are you going?" She ignored him as she opened the door and felt the light spritz of moisture spray her face and arms. She looked back at him before stepping down and immersing herself in the storm. She lifted her face to look up at the gray sky and he watched as she closed her eyes and held her arms out. The rain had soaked through her clothes in a matter of seconds making all of her clothes cling to her body. "Are you coming?" She yelled through the rain. He looked at her as if she were crazy. She shrugged her shoulders and began to run down the middle of the empty street. He shook his head and knew he had to go after her but he really didn't want to get soaked, he hated the rain. Brooke always teased him that he wouldn't melt; it was just water.

"You're going to get yourself sick!" He called after her as he chased her down the empty street. "And the baby!"

"No I'm not!" She yelled over her shoulder as she continued.

"Brooke! Slow down!" He began running toward her knowing he'd catch up in a matter of seconds. When he did he wrapped his arm around her wet waist and pulled her close in an effort to get her to stop. "What's going on?" He asked as she faced him. He could barely keep his eyes open because of how fast the rain was pouring down.

"She's leaving me." She said.

"What?" He couldn't hear her because of the rain.

"Peyton's leaving me!" She yelled.

He furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"She and Mike apparently realized how important family was now that Colleen's dying so they can't leave Steve all alone in Philadelphia so they're moving up there to be with him." She explained.

"For how long?"

"Forever." She answered.

He wrapped his arms around her soaking wet body and pulled her against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head and squeezed her closer and realized in that moment that she had yet to tell her best friend she was having a baby.

"You're going to be okay." He told her as he held her in the middle of the street under a blinking stoplight.

"How?" She asked as she looked up at him with little black rivers running down her face. "She's my best friend."

He smiled. "You can still be best friends even if she lives in a different state."

"It won't be the same." She complained.

He nodded, she was right. "It could be better." He was trying to be optimistic for his wife's sake but he knew after saying it that that probably wasn't the best thing to say. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. Definitely not the right thing to say, he thought to himself. They remained in the middle of the street with the rain pouring down on them for a little while longer before he asked if they could go back inside.

"Let's walk home." She said as she pulled away and reached for his hand.

"Brooke," he groaned. "You're going to get yourself and the baby sick. Which reminds me, why haven't you been taking your vitamins? They're crucial to the baby's development."

She made a disgusted face. "They tasted gross and I can't swallow them they're so big. They get stuck in my throat, Julian!"

"Well, then, you should have told me so we could go back and see Jess and see if there's a different kind she can prescribe." He tried to reason.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll do that if you walk home with me."

He reluctantly agreed to walk home with her, not because he wanted to but because she did. The house really wasn't that far and he knew it probably wasn't a good idea to sit soaking wet on the leather interior of his new car. When they neared the house, he stopped walking to ask her a question. "Why'd you run out into the rain?"

She looked up at the sky and closed her eyes again as she felt the rain hit her skin before smiling at him. "I knew you'd come chasing after me."

He laughed and shook his head. "You did this just to get me soaking wet?"

She shook her head. "I did it so I could do this." She pushed herself up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his while she held his face between her hands. She could feel him smiling into the kiss, which made her smile as well. As the rain poured down on them kissing in the middle of the street their four children sat sitting in the window staring at them. Sam and Jack found it cute and endearing while Emma and Ryan thought it was totally disgusting and had covered their eyes.

Julian had been right; Brooke had gotten sick from the rain. As she sat on the couch with blankets all around her, Julian heated up a bowl of chicken noodle soup and brought it over to her. It took her a good two days to admit to him that she was really sick and he found it comical because he knew she knew she was wrong. All their stuff, for the most part, had been moved into the new house and they were all planning on officially moving in on Thursday, which was two days away.

"Can you do something for me?" She asked him channeling her puppy dog eyes.

He laughed. "What?"

"Can you scoop some peppermint ice cream into a dish and put a bunch of olives on top?"

"You can't be serious, Brooke." He said as he made a face. "That's disgusting."

She shrugged. "It's what your baby wants to eat right now."

"Well, if it's for my baby then I suppose I can get it." He said as he got up from the couch.

As he got up, he saw Emma come down the staircase. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal but she was by herself; Ryan was nowhere in sight. He tried not to make a big deal out of it as he continued into the kitchen, pretending everything was fine. He didn't take his eyes off his daughter as he reached for the ice cream in the freezer and he watched as she stood in front of Brooke and stared at her.

"Hi sweetie." Brooke said softly. "What's up?"

Emma didn't say anything. She glanced over at Julian who looked down at the container of olives and placed a few on top of the ice cream. The moment he felt her gaze was gone, he looked back up at the two most important girls in his life. Emma looked down at her hands, which were folded in front of her, and then she moved a little toward Brooke. And then a little more. She kept moving until she was right up against the couch and practically in Brooke's face. Emma looked back at Julian, who was still in the kitchen, before climbing up onto the couch and into Brooke's lap. It took her a few seconds to get comfortable and snuggle up against Brooke's chest but once she did she sighed deeply before cupping her hands around Brooke's ear. "I love you, mommy." She whispered into her ear.

Brooke shifted a little and placed her hands around one of Emma's small ears. "I love you too, baby girl." She whispered back.

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Review please!


	33. Replace

Chapter Thirty-Three: Replace

She sat in the living room of their new house smiling at nothing in particular. She had been up for a while, the morning sickness had her up early, and she hadn't been able to fall back asleep so she quietly crept out of bed and down the grand staircase into the kitchen. She made lunch for her four kids and her husband before making herself a cup of coffee. She had had a hard time giving up caffeine but Jess had told her it wasn't good for the baby so even though she wasn't pleased about having to drink decaf, she did it for the baby that was growing inside of her. Today was the day; she thought to herself, that she was going to see Matt. She had called the hospital when she got up to see if he was still there and was surprised to find out that he had been transferred to the prison. The soft patter of little feet ripped her from her thoughts and she turned to see Ryan making his way down the stairs in his pajamas.

"Morning mommy." He whispered.

"Hi, baby." She smiled. "Why are you up so early?"

"It's Valentine's Day and I wanted to be the first one to tell you to have a good valentine's day." He grinned as he handed her a paper valentine.

She had completely forgotten that it was February 14th. She was supposed to have picked up valentines for Ryan and Emma to hand out at school. She was supposed to have made heart shaped cookies and frosted them in pink, red and white for the party they were having at school that afternoon. She brought her hand to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt Ryan tugging at the hem of her shirt and she looked down to see him staring up at her with a confused look on his face. "I'm sorry sweetie but I completely forgot what today was. I didn't make your cookies and I forgot to pick up the Toy Story valentines you wanted."

"Emma wanted Cinderella ones." He added.

Brooke crouched down to his level and reached for his hands. She knew Julian probably wouldn't be too pleased with what she was about to say to their son but she felt terrible for forgetting the valentines and cookies. She had to make it up to him somehow. "What do you say you and Emma stay home from school today and hang out with mommy for the day?"

Ryan's eyes grew wide. "You're telling me I'm allowed to skip school?" He asked in disbelief.

Brooke nodded. "But just today. Tomorrow you have to go back and learn but today's a special day."

"Because it's Valentine's Day and you're supposed to spend today with the people you love?" He asked.

"Exactly." Brooke smiled at his innocence. "So, what do you say?"

"I say yes!" He said as he jumped up and down.

She made him breakfast, and placed a plate of waffles in the oven to keep warm until the rest of her brood woke up. They all stumbled into the kitchen at the same time and Ryan didn't waste any time.

"Emma and I get to skip school today!" He exclaimed and watched as his sister's eyes lit up.

"Why's that?" Julian asked as he eyed his wife.

"Because Valentine's Day is a day that you spend with the people you love and mommy loves us so we get to spend all day with her!" He explained.

"Brooke, can you help me get some more syrup? I think we're out." Julian said as he walked toward the pantry. "What the hell is going on?"

"I forgot to pick up valentines and make cookies for their party."

"So?"

"So I'm not going to send them to school without valentines to hand out because no one else's parents forgot and they'll feel horrible and they were supposed to bring cookies for the party and knowing Ryan he already told everyone about them so when he shows up without them he'll get teased."

He shook his head. "School's important. They can't think that they can just skip school just because—"

"I know," She sighed. "I explained to him that today is a special day and occasion but tomorrow it's back to school and learning. He understands."

He nodded. "Good. Now what are you planning to do with them?"

She shrugged. "I'll probably bring them shopping for stuff for their rooms, we promised they could pick stuff out, remember?"

He nodded as he reached for the syrup. "Have fun."

"We always do." She smiled as they made their way back to the kitchen.

"Why can't we stay home from school today?" Jack asked. "Don't you love us?"

"Of course we love you." Brooke said.

"Ryan said that Valentine's Day is meant to spend with those you love." Sam smirked.

"Yes, but mommy forgot to do some important things so to keep the kids from getting T-E-A-S-E-D they get to spend the day with mommy shopping for new room stuff." Julian explained as he spelt the word out.

"New room! New room! New room!" Ryan began to chant as he banged his silverware on the table. Brooke scolded him and told him if he kept that behavior up there would be no new rooms and so for the rest of breakfast he was on his best behavior. Sam and Jack left for school and Julian left for work after Brooke told him about Matt being moved to the prison and that she wanted to go see him sometime this week. She was left to get her two sticky, syrupy kids bathed and dressed and out of the house before the cleaning lady showed up in an hour and a half.

Just as Brooke had managed to get Ryan and Emma ready to leave, there was a knock at the front door and she knew it wasn't Caitlin the cleaning lady since she had a key. The kids groaned in frustration but she promised them she'd be real quick and then they'd be on their way. She opened the heavy oak door to reveal her mom and David standing on the other side. "Hi." She greeted as she stepped aside to allow them into the house. "What are you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be up in New York?"

Victoria nodded. "I am. But we wanted to stop here before heading out to Tahiti for our honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?" Brooke blinked.

Victoria nodded. "We got married last night." She held out her hand so Brooke could see her ring.

"You got married?"

"Yes, dear." Victoria rolled her eyes and laughed.

Brooke looked over at David who looked equally as happy as her mom if not more so. "Why?"

"Because we love each other and life's too short." Victoria shrugged. "What's wrong?"

Brooke shook her head. "Nothing."

Victoria let go of David's hand and walked toward her daughter. "I'm sorry for springing this on you like this—"

"Are you?" Brooke asked, her tone harsher than she had intended. "Sorry. I just thought you would have wanted me to be there."

"You would have come?"

"You're my mom," Brooke smiled. "Of course I would have come to your wedding"

"It was nothing special," Victoria assured her. "I just put on a nice dress and he put on a coat and tie and we went down to the courthouse and had a justice of the peace marry us. David's sister lives in the city so she served as our witness. You didn't miss anything."

"But I did." Brooke argued and then shook her head. "What's done is done and we can't change it so it's fine."

"Are you mad at me?"

Brooke shook her head. "I'm happy for you."

"Good." Victoria smiled. "How's my grandbaby doing?" She asked as she lightly patted Brooke's still flat stomach.

Before Brooke had a chance to answer she heard Ryan call her. "Mom! Can we leave now?"

Victoria eyed her daughter. "Why are the kids home from school?"

"I forgot to do some stuff for school for today so this is my way of making it up to them." She explained as she led her mom and David back toward the kitchen. "How do you like the house, by the way?" This had been Victoria's first time seeing the extravagant house.

"I think it's just lovely." She said as she looked around. "Do you have a sitter coming to watch the kids tonight?"

Brooke furrowed her brow. "Why would I?"

David laughed when he saw Victoria's surprised face. "It's Valentine's Day. You're supposed to spend the night with you husband. Alone."

Brooke couldn't help but smile. "Why are you so concerned with my sex life?"

Victoria turned bright red and Brooke knew she had made her mother uncomfortable. "I'm not…it's just…I thought that…oh, never mind."

"Grandma!" Ryan sang when he saw Victoria. "I missed you!"

She knelt down to her grandson's height and hugged him. Victoria and David had only met Emma once before so she understood why she clung to Brooke's leg and was so shy. While Ryan animatedly filled his grandmother in on what had been going on in his life since she had been up in New York, David talked to Brooke. Emma had gotten bored listening to them talk so she surprisingly let go of Brooke's leg and wandered off to play with her dolls in the living room.

Brooke liked David, she really did, but she was still reluctant to let him in. She knew how her dad had treated her mom, he was never around and he wasn't the best listener but he worked hard to provide the life they had been privileged enough to live. Growing up, she often thought her mom was too hard on her dad, always complaining about him for nothing in particular and for the life of her she could never figure out why she was so protective of him. He had passed away during her junior year in college. They had never been the father and daughter type Brooke had often seen portrayed on television in her childhood but she finally got to experience that in the days leading up to his death. When he had gotten sick, she had put school on hold and practically moved in to his hospital room to be with him and take care of him. His prognosis wasn't good and she knew he didn't have much time; the cigarettes he had loved in his youth and adulthood had taken their toll and soon emphysema would take his life. With each day that passed, she and her dad grew closer and closer. He apologized for not being there when she needed him the most like when she started dating or the first time she got her heart broken or the day she graduated high school. What hurt Brooke the most, however was not watching him decompose day by day but that her mother never came to visit. She said she was too busy and didn't have time to stop by the hospital even though it was only twenty minutes from their house. Brooke knew how badly her dad wanted to see her mom one last time, to tell her he was sorry for everything and that she really was the love of his life even though they had been divorced for six years now.

When Brooke woke one cloudy March morning she knew it was time to let him go. She climbed into his hospital bed and snuggled up against his chest like she had once longed to do in her youth but had never gotten the chance since he was never home. He weakly wrapped his arm around her and struggled to lift his head to kiss her cheek. "It's okay, daddy." She whispered. "You can let go. I'll be okay." He was too weak to talk so he simply nodded his head and closed his eyes for the last time. She listened as he took his last breath before crying on his chest; she had finally gotten what she always dreamed of having as a little girl but it had all went away as soon as it came.

Her dad was her dad. Seeing her mom with David was weird and nice at the same time. She saw how happy David made her and she knew that they both really loved each other but the only other man she had ever seen her mom with was her dad and he couldn't be replaced. She still struggled with her dad's death and a very small part of her still resented her mom for not going to see him when he was dying. So as she stood in the kitchen with David she struggled to let him in to her life. It should have been her dad walking through the front door with her mom. It should have been her dad giving Ryan a high-five and asking for a hug. It shouldn't have been some stranger.

"Do you think you and my mom could watch the kids for a little bit? I'll be right back." She asked suddenly as she reached for her coat. David nodded and looked confused as she walked quietly toward the back door but she knew that if she went through the front door she'd be bombarded by questions from Ryan and Emma would start to cry. She'd be quick and they wouldn't even know she was gone.

She drove with a purpose and before she knew it she was at the cemetery. The winter air swirled up under her coat and made her shiver as she made her way toward his grave. No one knew he was here, tucked away under a large weeping willow in the back corner. She hadn't brought Peyton here and she hadn't even brought her husband. Her dad was a man she didn't think most people would understand and she liked having this secret from the rest of the world; it wasn't that she was ashamed of the man her father had been but rather she was protective of him. "Hi dad." She said softly as she knelt down beside his grave. "Mom got married." She didn't know why she had blurted it out; she had planned on telling him about happier things first because she knew it would break his heart. "I'm pregnant." She added, hoping that would take away the sting of finding out about her mom. Brooke didn't visit her dad as often as she would like; she just found talking to a grave weird and disturbing. It wasn't like the grave could talk back and when it was just her talking she felt like she was rambling and also like a crazy person for talking to a piece of granite. "I really miss you." She said quietly as she traced the letters of his name. Another gust of wind blew and Brooke tied her scarf tighter. "I don't know what happened between you and mom, I'm scared to ask her, but I want to know. I want to know if she was justified in refusing to come see you in the hospital or if she was just being heartless." She smiled a little to herself thinking back on how much of a bitch her mom had been in the past. "She's happy now and I remember after the divorce was finalized that you said that was all you wanted for her…to be happy. I think that deep down she still loves you and she misses you and that she's filling the void you left in her life with David. At least that's what I'm telling myself right now." She sighed. "I don't know how to let him in, dad. I don't want you looking down on me from wherever you are thinking that he replaced you because he didn't. He can't." She felt her lower lip tremble as she stood. "I love you." She said before turning and walking back to the car.

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"When are we going to get married?" Jess whined as she flipped through a bridal magazine. "I'm getting bigger with each day and at the rate we're going I'm going to be nine months pregnant and about to give birth by the time I finally walk down the aisle."

Lucas smiled. "Well if you weren't so damn picky we could have been married weeks ago."

"I'm not picky!" She argued. "I just have a particular way I want everything."

"What if I told you we could be married by weeks end?"

She put the magazine down. "How?"

"We could go down to the courthouse and just be married there." He shrugged.

"But what about the dress and a tux and bridesmaids and groomsmen and the flower girl and ring bearer? That's what a wedding's supposed to have, Lucas."

He shook his head. "The only two things it takes to make a wedding are a bride and groom. I don't care about any of that material stuff, Jess. I just want to be your husband and for you to be my wife. We can have Brooke and Julian there as witnesses if you want. I'm sure Ryan would love to be a ring bearer and Emma probably wouldn't mind being a flower girl for the day."

"I'll think about it." She said as she picked the magazine up and went back to reading.

"I'm going for a run." He said as he rolled out of their bed and began rummaging through the closet for his running shoes. "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Is this how you're always going to be?" She asked.

He eyed her. "How am I being?"

"Every time we have an argument no matter how big or small you run away. I don't get it and I hate it. You leave me all alone feeling guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about. I've dreamed of my wedding day ever since I was a little girl and getting married by a justice of the peace in a little courthouse room is not how I envisioned it."

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall instead of her. "I've had a big wedding and I absolutely hated it, Jess. You may argue and say I'm being selfish but I learned that day that it doesn't matter how many guests show up or what flavor the cake is or if we serve chicken instead of fish. What matters is that we're promising to love each other for the rest of our lives and nothing will ever come between that love." He turned and cupped her face in his hand. "I love you more than I have ever loved anybody and I don't want to wait any longer. And I do what I do after arguments because it clears my head. It allows me to leave before I say something I might regret."

She nodded. "Okay." She said softly.

He leaned in and kissed the top of her head before kissing the small baby bump that had formed. "I'll see you in a little bit." He said.

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"Momma!" Ryan exclaimed when he saw her walk through the front door. "Where did you go? We were supposed to go shopping for stuff for our new rooms!"

"We still are buddy, I just had something I had to do first. Did you have a fun time with grandma and David?" She asked.

Ryan nodded. "He said I could call him grandpa now that he married grandma!" Brooke knew he was excited because he was talking super fast and using his hands.

She eyed her mom and David who were standing in the kitchen talking. "Buddy, why don't you go tell your sister that we're going to leave in five minutes? Make sure you both have gone to the bathroom because it's a little bit of a drive to the store." Ryan darted up the stairs and she made sure he was out of earshot as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Where did you go?" Victoria asked. "David said you took off in a hurry."

"I went to visit dad."

"Why all of a sudden?" She asked.

Brooke looked at David and then at her mom. "Because I'm uncomfortable with this whole situation and I didn't know what else to do. He was my dad and it just seems like you're replacing him."

"Brooke, sweetie, it's been over five years since he died and almost twelve since we've been divorced—"

"That doesn't mean I miss him any less, if anything I miss him more now than I ever have. And David, I hope this doesn't upset you but I'd really prefer if the kids just called you David instead of grandpa."

"Brooke!" Victoria scolded.

"Dad was supposed to be grandpa to my kids not the man you married and replaced him with." She said harshly.

Victoria reached for her bag and for David's hand. "I told the kids we would watch them tonight so you and Julian could have a night to yourselves. After you're little temper tantrum I don't think you deserve a night out but I want to spend time with them before we leave for Tahiti for a month. We'll be back around six." She said as she walked toward the door.

"Sam and Jack should be home around ten so they can relieve you so you can go on your merry way to Tahiti with your new husband. Have a nice trip." Brooke called after them and jumped slightly when the door slammed.

"Momma?" Ryan said cautiously as he looked down at her from the top of the staircase. "What happened?"

Brooke shook her head. "Nothing. Are you and Emma ready?"

Ryan and Emma nodded and began to make their way down the stairs one by one. Emma reached up and Brooke squatted down to pick up her daughter. If Julian were around he'd sternly tell her to put Emma down; she wasn't allowed to pick anything up over ten pounds. He told her he was just watching out for the baby while she argued he was just trying to make her life worse. "You're not supposed to carry her. Daddy's going to get mad." Ryan said as they made their way to the car.

Brooke groaned. "What daddy doesn't know won't hurt him." She said as she buckled each of them into their car seats.

"You're not supposed to keep secrets from him." Ryan said.

"Ryan," Brooke begged. "Please don't do this right now."

He got the hint and for the rest of the ride to the store, he and Emma chatted in the back seat. Even though Emma had climbed into Brooke's lap and told her she loved her last week, she still refused to talk to anyone but Ryan. Brooke sometimes doubted that Emma had said anything at all when she was in her lap since she had yet to utter another word but when she saw how attached Emma had become ever since that night she knew she had heard her daughter correctly. She no longer favored Julian; instead it was Brooke she constantly wanted.

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She didn't put anything fancy on. She didn't do her hair and make-up any different than how she usually did it. She had plans for their valentine's night but they weren't the typical plans. She knew he was expecting to go out to dinner and then come home where they'd make love like they had done last Valentine's Day but tonight was going to be different.

"Hello, beautiful." He greeted when he walked in the door after work with a bouquet of Gerber daisies. She hated roses, especially on Valentine's Day since that's the only flower men seemed to give to women, so he always brought her favorite flower home.

"Hi, handsome." She grinned as she kissed him. "We missed you."

"I missed you guys, too." He said as he placed the bouquet down and patted her belly. "How was the day with the kids?"

She shrugged. "It was good. We got a lot of stuff for their rooms and we were thinking that maybe daddy could help us this weekend to paint?"

"Daddy would love to help." He smiled. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

"You and I are going out and my mom and David are going to watch Ryan and Emma until Jack and Sam return around ten."

He eyed her. "Emma's going to be okay without you?"

Brooke shrugged. "She's okay when Ryan's there with her. We won't be long anyways."

"Did you get anywhere with her today?" He inquired.

"Ryan told me some things on the way home after she conked out in the backseat. I'll tell you about them later because we should get going." She said as she reached for her purse and coat.

"Don't we have to wait until your mom and David get here?"

"The newlyweds are already in the living room with the kids. I told them we'd sneak out so Emma doesn't start panicking."

"Newlyweds?"

Brooke nodded. "They got married yesterday."

"How do you feel about that?"

She reached for the back door and flung it open. "I'm not happy and she knows it; we're kind of fighting with each other."

"Brooke," He groaned. "Why?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she held open the passenger side door for him and told him to get in. He was confused because usually he drove and took control of their Valentine's night but tonight she was calling the shots. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"I need to show you something." She answered as she pulled into the cemetery.

He looked around, unsure of why they were there, and reached for her hand. They didn't talk as she led him to the back corner where a giant weeping willow stood. She stopped suddenly and he looked down to see the name. _Ethan Davis_. He heard her sniffling and looked over to see her crying. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on but he knew that she was about to open up and show him a side he had never seen.

"This is my dad." She said as she pointed down to his headstone. "He passed away five years ago from emphysema and I took it pretty hard. We weren't close when I was growing up but for the last three months of his life we became everything I ever wished we could have been." She paused and wiped her eyes before continuing. "I've never brought anyone here and I'm not really sure why. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm extremely protective of him, I think all daughters are of their fathers." He squeezed her letting her know he was appreciative of the fact that she brought him. "I told him about you, about how you're the most amazing man I have ever met and that I feel so lucky to be your wife. I've told him about the baby…and about my mom."

It hit him like a ton of bricks. It now made sense as to why Brooke was having such a hard time with her mom's news and why they were fighting. "He's okay with it." He whispered in her ear. "He wants to see the ones he loves happy."

"He can't replace my dad." She said against his chest. "He told Ryan and Emma to call him grandpa and I flipped out. I know I don't know the full story of what happened between my mom and my dad but I feel like I would be equally protective of my mom if she had died and my dad had married some other woman. I'm glad she's happy but I feel guilty for being happy for her because I feel like I'm betraying my dad."

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "He's okay with it, Brooke. You're not betraying him by being happy for her, trust me."

"Why?" She challenged. "Why should I trust what you have to say about how my dad feels?"

"Because I wasted so much time being angry with my dad for replacing my mom with my step mom."

Brooke looked up at him. "She's not your biological mom?"

Julian shook his head. "My mom died when I was ten and he married Joann when I was thirteen. I hated him so much for doing that to her but then I thought that my mom must be okay with it or else it never would have happened. She was up in heaven looking over us and she sent Joann into my dad's life for a reason. She sent her into my life for a reason and not a day goes by where I don't miss my mom but I love Joann with all my being and she's been nothing but good to me. I call her mom and the first time I did it I felt like I was betraying my real mom somehow but that's who she had become to me; she did all the things a mom should do and it just felt natural."

She shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"It never came up." He shrugged.

"We're really bad about telling each other things." She smiled slightly.

"We are." He agreed as he squeezed her tighter.

"So you think he's okay with this?" She asked as she nodded toward her dad.

"I know he's okay with this." Julian assured her.

Brooke nodded and seemed satisfied with his answer. "Do you think that if my dad was able to send David to my mom somehow he was able to send us this baby? That he knew how badly I was suffering and he just wanted to make it better?"

He pondered her words before nodding. "Something like that." He agreed.

She reached for his hand before turning on her heel. "It's really cold. We can come back when it's warmer if you want?"

He nodded before turning with her and heading back to the car. As they walked, he smiled when he saw her turn her head back and say thank you, daddy.

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Jack had brought her to the place where he had fallen in love with her. It was the place where she had gone up to a stranger and given him a piece of her mind for the way they treated a little boy who had been trying to play with him. It was freezing on the beach in the middle of February but he had built a fire and it was keeping them warm. The orange glow on her face made butterflies erupt in his stomach and he leaned in to kiss her.

"I'm scared." She said as she suddenly pulled away.

"Don't do this." He begged. "Not tonight."

Ever since they had filled out their applications for colleges she had been nervous that they wouldn't get into the same one. Every night she'd panic about going off to school alone without him and she would work herself up so much that Jack had to sometimes get Brooke or Julian to help calm her down.

"But I can't help but think about it. I don't want you to go off to school and fall in love with a beautiful, busty, blonde and—"

"Sam," he laughed. "That would never happen."

"Why not?'"

"Because I'm not attracted to beautiful, busty, blondes. I'm attracted to you and I'm in love with you. I always will be and that will never change even if we don't go to school together." He assured her.

"You always say that but how can you be so sure? How can you know we're not going to fall apart once we're thrown into the college environment? Even if we go together something might happen that rips us apart." She argued.

"Sam." He lifted her head in his hands so that she was looking at him instead of the sand. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and some may call me crazy for saying that when I'm only eighteen years old but they say you know when it's right. You know when you've found the one and I've found her. You are all I've ever wanted in a girlfriend; you're funny, creative, stubborn and fierce. You're kind and compassionate and loving and I want you to be my wife."

"Jack," She said as she shook her head. "You're not—"

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. "Marry me, Sam."

She looked down at the diamond ring in the box and before she knew what she was doing she nodded. "Okay." She said through her tears.

He took the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger before kissing her. "I love you." He whispered against her lips.

"I love you too." She smiled. "But can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Let's not tell anyone just yet. They're not going to understand and I don't want to put any stress on Brooke for the baby's sake. Julian would kill us if our news made her go into a panic and put any harm on that baby."

Jack nodded. "Are you ashamed?"

"No," She shook her head fiercely. "I'm not ashamed at all and I'm so excited to become your wife. I just think that for right now it's better if we keep this to ourselves."

He believed her but he wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he had proposed to the girl he knew he'd love forever and she had said yes. But instead, he had to keep their engagement under wraps. He smiled at her and nodded before wrapping his arms around her and scooting closer to the fire. He could see by the look on her face how happy she was and he knew in that moment that he had done the right thing by asking her to be his wife.

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Victoria and David's night with the kids had been pretty uneventful. David had explained to Ryan and Emma that it hurt mommy's feelings when they called him grandpa so from now on it would be David. Both of the kids were asleep when Sam and Jack strolled in around ten-thirty.

"So I hear you're a married woman." Sam grinned as she sat down on the couch next to Victoria.

"News sure does travel fast." Victoria rolled her eyes.

Sam shrugged. "Everyone knows. Its Tree Hill, what did you expect?"

"I just didn't think everyone would know right away."

"Well they do so you're just going to have to get used to it. Can I see the ring?"

Victoria extended her hand and Sam raised her eyebrows. "Nice work, Dave."

David smiled. "Thanks. What did you two do this evening?"

"We went down to the beach and had a fire." Jack answered.

"A fire on the beach in February?" Victoria questioned.

Sam nodded. "It kept us warm."

Victoria eyed the two suspiciously but they didn't seem to be squirming which meant they were telling her the truth…or they were just really good liars.

"So," Sam said as she folded her legs up underneath her. "You're not planning on getting her pregnant, right?"

David turned bright red and so did Victoria. "Samantha!" She scolded.

"What? I think it's an appropriate question to ask. I don't think Brooke would be too happy to find out that you have a bun in the oven." She smirked.

"I don't." She answered. "And I never will because I've already gone through the change, if you know what I mean."

"Ew!" Sam exclaimed. "Way too much information!"

"Well," Victoria smiled. "You initiated the conversation."

Sam reached for Jack's hand and pulled him up off the couch. "You two can go home now and do whatever newly married people do—"

"You mean have sex?" Victoria grinned as she sidled up to David.

"Stop!" Sam pleaded. "This is so gross for so many reasons!"

"Why?" David laughed.

"One because she's my _grandmother_, two because old people should not be having sex because it's just so gross and three—"

"We're not old." Victoria argued. "I'm not even 55 yet."

"It's still gross and you can really leave now so I can try and get that image out of my head." Sam said as she walked toward the front door and held it open. "Anytime now." She said when she realized Victoria and David weren't moving.

"Behave, you two." Victoria said as she and David passed through the threshold. "Those kids have really good ears."

Jack furrowed his brow. "We're not stupid enough to do it with them in the house."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "We're not stupid."

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The house was silent when they walked in. Sam and Jack were asleep in her bed together, which would be discussed in the morning, and Ryan and Emma were asleep in their rooms with shopping bags everywhere. He watched her brush her teeth and wash her face and look at her belly in the mirror. He knew she was waiting for the day a bump appeared and when that day came, she'd come to bed with a smile on her face instead of a scowl.

"I don't think anything's in there." She said as she pulled the covers up.

"Brooke," He laughed. "We heard the heartbeat and saw the little pixel that proves there's a baby. You're only six weeks along so there shouldn't be a bump just yet."

"I just want a bump, I'm ready to have the big belly and not be able to see my feet or put on my socks. This whole waiting thing stinks." She sighed.

She squealed when she felt him snake his arm under her and pull her on top of him. "When you have a big belly we won't be able to do this." He said in between kisses. "It'll just get in the way."

The kept with one Valentine's tradition that night…they made love. As she lay beside him, trying to catch her breath, she couldn't help but think about the baby inside of her. She had always believed that everything happened for a reason, that from the moment she was born her life had been planned out for her and she was just along for the ride. She had met Julian for a reason. Her mom had met David for a reason. She was told she couldn't get pregnant and then did anyway for a reason. Her dad had died on that cloudy March morning for a reason and she couldn't help but think that reason was because he was meant to watch over her from above. Ethan Davis knew his daughter was stubborn, it was a trait she had gotten from him; he knew that she could never live the life she was destined to live if he had been alive. She knew that her dad was the type of man who needed to be in charge at all times and he wouldn't have been able to control her life down on Earth so up in Heaven he could make things happen for a reason in order to give his daughter the life he knew she deserved. He couldn't make her life easy and carefree because that's not what life is, there's pain and hurt and heartache but there's also love and passion and joy and she needed to experience it all in order to live a full life. It had taken five years but as she lay beside her husband with her hand protectively over her belly, Brooke came to terms with her father's death and accepted that it was meant to happen. He was her guardian angel and he would always look out for his baby girl.

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Review please!


	34. Wait

Chapter Thirty-Four: Wait

Brooke ran down the stairs, grabbed the cup of decaf coffee Julian had made for her and kissed him and Ryan goodbye before hurrying toward the door. "Love you guys! Have a good day!"

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Julian called after her.

She reached for the door handle. "Emergency at the store; gotta go."

"Brooke!" He called causing her to stop and turn to face him. "Don't over do yourself, okay?"

She nodded. "I know my limits."

"No you don't." He argued. "Take something with you to eat; just coffee isn't good for your stomach."

She groaned and reached for a banana. "By the way, you and I are going out with Lucas and Jess tonight."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Just because. Now I really have to go. I'll call you later. Bye little guy, have a good day at school."

"Love you mommy!" Ryan called after her as she hurried toward the door for a second time.

"Love you too, pal."

"Your mom's a crazy lady." Julian said after Brooke slammed the door behind her.

Ryan nodded his head in agreement. "She does bad things when you aren't here." He said as he slurped up a spoonful of cereal.

Julian put down the bowl and dish rag he was using to dry the dishes and leaned forward on the countertop. "What do you mean bad things?"

"She says I'm not a'pposed to tell you."

"Ryan," Julian smiled. "If mommy is doing something bad don't you think you should tell daddy so he can help her?"

"I guess so." He shrugged as he took another slurp.

"So," He said. "What does mommy do?"

"She picks Emma up all the time and carries her whenever she wants to be held."

"Is that it?" Julian asked.

Ryan shook his head. "She drinks the coffee with the bad stuff in it. The stuff you told her she couldn't have since she has a baby in her belly."

"Caffeine." Julian sighed.

Ryan nodded his head eagerly. "That's it!"

"That's all she does right? Mommy doesn't do any other bad things?"

"You know that box you told her not to move because it was too heavy?" Ryan asked as he placed his spoon in his bowl.

"She moved it, didn't she?" Julian sighed as he leaned back on the counter.

Ryan nodded. "You weren't a'pposed to know."

'I know," he said as he reached for his son's bowl. "It'll be our little secret. Why don't you go wake your sister up and get ready for school?"

Ryan hopped down from the bar stool and scampered up the stairs while Julian continued to wash and dry the dishes while shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe Brooke was doing all the things he had explicitly told her not to do.

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"Morning fiancée," Jack greeted from the doorway of Sam's room.

"Shhhhh!" She scolded as she ran toward him and pulled him in the room before shutting her door. "You can't be so loud!"

"Sam," He sighed. "They're going to find out eventually why can't we just tell them now?"

"Because I know Brooke is going to flip when we tell her and I know how badly she wants this baby so I don't want anything to compromise her happiness and easy pregnancy because god forbid this makes her lose the baby some how…I don't know how I'd live with myself."

Jack placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "That's not going to happen." He told her.

"You don't know that," She argued as she wiggled free from his grasp. "Neither of us know how it will affect her until we tell her."

"Exactly!" He exclaimed. "For all we know she could be elated when we tell her and say it's about time."

"Or she could be caught so off guard that she faints and miscarries."

"Sam, that's not going to happen." He told her again. "Now come on, we're going to be late for school."

She nodded as she took the ring off her finger and placed it in her jewelry box on top of her dresser. She felt bad in doing so but the last thing she needed was for Haley to see the ring at school and tell Brooke. She hated keeping secrets from her but she at least wanted to be the one to tell her when the time was right. Jack smiled at her before reaching for her hand and leading her out of her bedroom.

"What were you two doing up there?" Julian asked when they finally made their way down the stairs. "You're going to be late."

"Sorry." Sam said as she reached for her backpack. "Are we taking them to school too?"

Julian nodded. "Brooke called and wants me to meet her down at the shop. I really need to get going."

Jack felt Sam tense. "Did she say what's wrong?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Just that she needs to see me."

Jack helped Emma and Ryan put their backpacks on before leading them toward the front door. "Tell her we say hi and we'll see you guys later." He said as he reached for the car keys.

Emma and Ryan both kissed Julian goodbye while Jack and Sam quickly made their way to the car. Julian couldn't help but notice Sam's jumpiness but shrugged it off as he waved to his four kids making their way down the driveway. He grabbed his coat and keys before racing to his own car and barreling his way down the streets of Tree Hill toward his wife.

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He found her pacing back and forth in the empty store when he arrived. She turned at the sound of the door opening and he could see in her eyes how relieved she was to see him. He rushed toward her and wrapped his arms around her small frame; inhaling the sweet scent of her raspberry shampoo.

"He's asking to see me." She said finally.

Julian was confused. "Who?"

"Matt." She answered softly.

He stepped back and ran his hand through his hair before rubbing it down his face. "What are you going to do?" He asked after several moments of silence.

"I want you to come with me. I want to finally get closure on this part of my life so I can move on from the attack and what he did to me." Her voice was shaky but he didn't doubt her conviction.

The ride to the jail was quiet. He held her hand the entire time and squeezed it every so often to reassure her. She stared out the window for the majority of the ride and he could see how pale she had become. Finally, he pulled into the jail parking lot and parked the car before turning it off and facing her. "Are you sure you're up for this?" He asked.

She nodded. "I have to do this Julian."

"You don't have to do it right now. We can wait until after the baby's born so there isn't as much stress on you—"

"I'm fine." She assured him.

He nodded even though he didn't believe her. He still had to confront her about everything Ryan had told him she did when he wasn't around but that could wait. Right now she was finally going to get the closure she deserved.

He didn't think it would be possible for her to become even paler but as they passed through the security check point in the jail she did just that. He sensed that something was wrong shortly after they cleared security and were on their way to see Matt. She suddenly turned toward him with her hand covering her mouth and darted toward the bathroom they had just passed. Julian quickly explained to the guard that it was morning sickness before running after her. He found her on her hands and knees retching. He knelt down behind her and pulled her hair back with one hand as he rubbed her back with the other. He could hear her crying as she continued to get sick and he felt his heart break. When it was finally over she wiped her mouth with the piece of toilet paper Julian had handed her before collapsing in his embrace as he sat leaned against the wall of the women's bathroom stall. She cried in his arms as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

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"Why are we going out with them?" Lucas asked as he tried on tuxedos while Jess flipped through a magazine.

"Do you not want to?" She asked as she placed the magazine down in her lap.

He shook his head. "We just haven't seen them for a little while so I was wondering if you were on bad terms with either Brooke or Julian."

"He's been busy trying to finalize his current film and she's been a little busy trying to raise four kids."

"How are Emma and Ryan doing?" Lucas inquired.

Jess shrugged. "I'm sure they'll tell us tonight."

"How's her pregnancy going?"

Jess groaned in frustration. "I don't know, Lucas. Why are you so nosy all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. Why are you so moody all the time?"

She gestured down to her growing belly. "Because of the damn hormones running rampant in my body from carrying your child."

He sighed. Lately all they were doing was fighting and he was sick of it. "I'm sorry." He said as he walked toward her. "I know you get uncomfortable and annoyed with being pregnant and I know it's not your fault when your mood suddenly changes. I don't like fighting with you and I don't think it's good for you when you're carrying our little baby inside of you. From now on we are both going to make a strong effort not to constantly fight and bicker with each other, okay? I love you too much to always argue with you."

She smiled before leaning forward to kiss him. "I love you, too." She grinned. "And I like that tux the best."

"Good," he whispered against her mouth. "Because I'm getting tired of trying all these monkey suits on."

"You're not too tired to have a little bit of fun when we get home, are you?" She asked huskily.

He shook his head and quickly stood up before hurrying into the dressing room to take his suit off. They quickly paid for it and Jess giggled as they ran to the car parked across the street. He drove three streets over and parked the car in a deserted parking lot before cutting the engine. Jess was clearly confused as she looked around at their surroundings. He popped the trunk and reached for the blanket he kept there before reaching for her hand and leading her into the woods.

"Lucas!" She giggled. "What the hell are we doing?"

"I can't wait another minute." He said as he looked around and decided it was a good place to spread the blanket. "It's an hour drive back to the house."

Jess gasped as she realized what he meant. "We are _not_ having sex in the woods!"

He grinned as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "Yes we are."

"Somebody is going to see us! We can't do this, Luke!"

"Yes we can." He smiled as he began to make his way toward her. "There's nobody here." He began to undress her and could tell she was going to give in.

"This is going to be the craziest thing I've ever done." She said in between kisses as Lucas gently laid her down on the blanket in the middle of the woods.

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She sat behind the Plexiglas squeezing Julian's hand for dear life waiting for a guard to bring Matt in. He looked different from the last time she saw him. He had cuts and scrapes all over his face and he was much more muscular. He scared her. Julian sat up a little straighter in his chair and squeezed her hand reassuringly as Matt slumped down into his seat.

"You look good." He said as he gave Brooke the once-over.

"You don't have the right to say that to her." Julian sneered as he felt himself growing more and more protective of his wife as each second with Matt passed.

Matt held his hands up in defense. "Sorry, man. Just telling her the truth."

His demeanor surprised Julian. He was expecting Matt to be more abrasive and unapologetic. He seemed calm and regretful for how he had acted in the past.

Her voice was soft but both men heard her. "Why did you do this to me?" She pulled down her shirt, exposing the burn marks all over her chest and breasts. Julian winced, he still felt physically sick when he saw what Matt had done to his wife; he wrapped his arm protectively around her and wiped the one tear that was making its way down her face. "_How_ could you do this to me? There was a point in time when I know that you loved me. You can deny it all you want and just say it was strictly a physical thing but I could tell by the little things you did that you really, truly loved me. You knew how I liked my coffee, you knew to record Project Runway when I was going to be out and would miss it, and you knew that I needed my stuffed elephant to sleep well. You knew all my little quirks and you loved me for them so how could you allow yourself to hurt me like this?"

Matt hung his head. "I didn't do it."

"Even if you didn't do it you allowed it to happen. You let those three other guys burn hot cigarettes into my bare skin. You had to have smelt my skin burning. You had to have known what they were doing was wrong. You could have stopped them, Matt." She argued. "Every goddamn day I have to look at myself in the mirror and see all those scars and all they remind me of is that night when I was scared beyond belief. Why did you rape me while I was awake and conscious of what was going on? Did you enjoy seeing the terrified look in my eyes? Did you want me to remember every single moment of it? Because I do; there are times when I'll zone out and completely relive what you did to me. Hearing you cheer while each one of you took a turn was degrading and embarrassing."

"I know." Matt nodded.

"I came here today because I want to put this behind me. I want you to tell me why you did it and how you could do something like this to the girl you said you wanted to marry one day. I want to know how you could just leave me, bleeding, burned and unconscious on the floor of my store. I want answers, Matt."

He sighed as he leaned forward and ran his hand through his hair. "I wanted to feel like I had the upper hand for once. Lucas made me feel like an idiot when he barged through your dorm room that night and I wanted to get back at him. I thought that you two were together because before the night of the attack me and the guys had been watching the store and he was always there and you two seemed like you were dating. I wanted to make him feel like the idiot for not being there to protect you when you needed it the most. I could have been somebody if not for him. I could have been married to you and have three kids by now if it weren't for him that one night."

"Don't blame this on Lucas." She said. "He saved me that night in my dorm and there is no way in hell that I would have ever married you especially after that night. You were a different person and that scared me—"

"You don't understand. That night the feeling was mutual you were just playing hard to get."

"No I wasn't. You were drunk and wouldn't take no for an answer. You can blame why you raped me on wanting to make Lucas feel like he made you feel that night but you did it because you're the type of person who needs to be in control. You like to humiliate people and make them feel like they are inadequate. The months following what you and your friends did to me were the worst months of my life. I couldn't sleep, I was always scared, I couldn't be intimate with the one person who loved me despite everything and I found out that I couldn't get pregnant. You made my life a living nightmare and I hated you for it. I wanted you to feel as much pain and hurt as I had but then somewhere along the way I realized that I didn't want that. I don't care whether you are alive or dead, happy or sad, content or uncomfortable. You don't matter to me. All I want are some answers so I can finally put this in the past and move on because you've taken up too much of my time and I'm ready to start living again. I love my life and it took me a little while to get where I am today but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't know if my life would be the way it is today if it weren't for what happened in my store that night. I have a husband who loves me for who I am and embraces everything about me scars and all. He's willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect me and I know that his love is real and that he's never going to hurt me the way you or any other person has. I have four amazing kids who I would do anything for and who I love with all my heart. I have a successful career, I live in a nice house, I have friends who care about me and I'm having the baby I was told I could never have. I'm happy for once in my life." Once she finished she saw something flicker in his eyes and she knew what he had told her before was a load of bullshit.

"You want to know why I did it? The real reason? I'm jealous of you and everything you have. I wanted to make you feel as worthless and insignificant as I feel. I wanted to hurt you in the worst way and make you feel vulnerable a feeling I know you absolutely _hate_. I—"

"That's enough." Julian cut him off.

"I don't think so." Matt argued. "She wanted to hear why I did it so I'm telling her. You can't protect her from everything."

"Yes I can. I'm her husband, it's my job."

"Well where were you the night we attacked her?"

"In California. We had broken up a few months prior and not a day goes by where I don't regret leaving her because maybe if I had stayed here in Tree Hill this wouldn't have happened, she wouldn't have been raped and beat and burned and tortured—"

"Julian, you couldn't have known this was going to happen." Brooke said as she rubbed his arm; she could tell he was getting worked up.

"Let me finish." He pleaded. "But I _was_ there after the fact. I'm the one that helped her cope with the discovery that she couldn't bear children. I'm the one who helped her overcome her fear of intimacy. I'm the one who showed her not all men are evil like you and your friends. I was there to put her back together after you broke her into a million little pieces. I love this girl with every ounce of my being and you should be thanking your lucky stars that there is a piece of Plexiglas between us because if there wasn't you probably wouldn't be alive. Brooke may be able to sit here and tell you she's come to terms with everything and that the past is in the past but I can't do that. I hate you for what you did to her and I won't ever be able to forgive you. What you did is unforgivable and I hope you rot in hell for all of eternity because that's what you deserve." He stood and extended his hand to Brooke who instantly took it. Together they walked out of the room, Julian with his arm wrapped protectively around his wife, while Matt reclined in his chair shaking his head before standing up and punching the piece of Plexiglas. It startled Brooke and she turned to see Matt screaming at her.

"When I get out I'm not going to have a problem finding you! I'll do it again except this time you won't live you crazy bitch!" It took a few guards to combat him and Brooke watched as they gave him a sedative which instantly took effect.

"You're okay, I'm right here." Julian whispered into her hair as he held her in the middle of the room. She cried against his chest as he rubbed circles on her back in an effort to calm her down since he could feel her shaking. He hoped that despite everything that had just happened, she had gotten the closure she came for.

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Julian and Brooke had arrived at the restaurant a little late because they had hit traffic on the way home from the jail. They instantly spotted Jess and Lucas in a booth in the right corner of the room.

"Hey!" Jess smiled. "We were beginning to think you two were going to ditch us."

"We hit a little bit of traffic." Julian explained as he settled down into the booth.

Lucas furrowed his brow. "You live five minutes away from here."

Brooke shook her head. "We went to see Matt today at the prison and we hit traffic coming home from there."

Jess and Lucas exchanged surprised looks. "How'd it go?" Jess asked.

Brooke shrugged. "Good, I guess." She began to flip through the menu. Julian mouthed that he'd tell them about it later before looking down at his menu.

"So, how's your pregnancy going so far?" Jess asked after they had ordered their meals. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."

"I know." Brooke smiled. "It's been going well. I've been having a lot of morning sickness and the cravings have definitely started—"

"Olives and peppermint stick ice cream." Julian gagged.

"Well hers is sardines and apples." Lucas said as he pointed to Jess. "Disgusting."

"It's so good!" Jess argued.

Julian and Lucas both shook their heads. "There's no possible way that that combination can be good." Julian said.

"Have you guys set a date?" Brooke inquired.

Jess nodded. "It's going to be three Saturdays from this coming weekend and we got his tux today. I was hoping you could make my dress."

"In three weeks?" Brooke asked incredulously. "That's a lot of work to get done in that short amount of time."

"Not if you work on it constantly." Jess smiled. "Please? I can come in tomorrow to be fitted and measured. All I want is something princess-like and elegant and nothing that clings to this growing bump." She said as she patted her stomach.

"At least you have a bump." Brooke said quietly as she looked down at her flat stomach. She smiled when she felt Julian's hand rest protectively over their baby before placing her hand on top of his. "I suppose I could manage to do it. Do you want me to make dresses for the bridal party?"

Jess and Lucas both shook their heads. "It's just going to be us, you guys and Nathan and Haley. We're transforming the backyard into a wedding wonderland and that's where we're going to do it. Nothing special or fancy."

"What are Haley and I supposed to wear?"

"Whatever you want." Lucas shrugged.

"He didn't want a big fancy wedding but I wanted a princess dress and him to be in a tux so we're compromising. I get the dress and tux and he gets a low-key affair." Jess smiled.

"I'll be right back." Brooke said as she got up from the table.

"Are you okay?" Julian asked.

She nodded and smiled. "I just have to go to the bathroom."

As she walked away Jess and Lucas watched as Julian watched her protectively. "I've never seen you like this before." Jess said tearing him away from Brooke.

"Like what?"

"So protective and caring of her." She smirked.

"It's just that I know how hard she's worked to rise from the ashes of what happened that night in her store and I know how difficult it was for us to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't get pregnant so now that she is…" he trailed off as he searched for the right words to express how he was feeling. "I love that baby inside of her so much already and I will do anything to protect her and our child." He started to tell them about what happened at the jail but fell silent when he saw Brooke making her way back to the table.

"Julian?" Her voice was slurred and her eyes were full of tears as she made her way back from the bathroom. "I think something's wrong—" She had collapsed onto the floor of the restaurant before she could finish her sentence.

"Brooke!" Julian yelled as he jumped up from the table. "Somebody call 911!" He barked.

Jess stood, horrified, and watched as her brother picked up Brooke's limp body and it was then that she noticed the blood. She wished in that moment that she wasn't a doctor and that she didn't know what it meant when there was this much blood this early in a pregnancy. Her eyes filled with tears as Julian turned to look at her for confirmation of what was happening to his wife.

From that point on it was all a blur. Lucas had said something about them not being able to wait for an ambulance and the next thing Jess knew all four of them were piled into Lucas' truck on their way to the hospital. Julian kept trying to wake Brooke up and telling her it's going to be okay. Lucas weaved in and out of traffic and got honked at a few hundred times before they finally reached the emergency room entrance. Lucas opened the car door for Julian who carried Brooke into the emergency room. After the doctors wheeled her down the hall all the three of them could do was wait.

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Review please!

See these rings? This means we're bound together….your problems are my problems so talk to me


	35. Belong

Chapter Thirty-Five: Belong

"Julian, you're going to put a hole in the floor you've been pacing so much." Jess said as she patted the seat next to her. "Come sit down."

He shook his head. "I can't." He continued to pace back and forth in front of Jess and Lucas. "What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to call?"

Jess stood up and walked over to her brother. "You're going to sit right next to me and Luke and wait for the doctor to come out and tell you that Brooke is fine. I can make some phone calls if you want or I could sit here with you while Luke makes them. She's going to be okay, Julian."

"There was so much blood." He said as his eyes started to pool with tears. "We can't lose this baby. I can't let anything else destroy her; she's finally the person she was before the attack and I don't want to lose her again." Jess enveloped her brother in her arms and let him cry on her shoulder as she rubbed his back in an effort to calm him down.

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"You didn't cook it as good as mommy." Ryan complained as he pushed the bowl of macaroni and cheese Sam had made away.

"Well mommy's out on a date with daddy so you're going to have to eat this or go to bed hungry." Sam said as she pushed the bowl back in front of her brother.

"You're mean!" He complained and folded his arms over his chest. "I don't like you!"

"Well I don't like you either!" Sam yelled back. "You don't even belong in this family!"

Ryan's jaw dropped as he stared at Sam. She instantly regretted what she had just said to him but it was too late, he was crying and running up to his room before she had the chance to take her words back.

"What the hell, Sam?" Jack asked as he walked into the kitchen with Emma on his hip. "Why would you ever say something like that to him?"

She shook her head as she pushed by him. "Just leave me alone." She begged before slamming the door to her room.

Jack sat Emma down at the kitchen table with a bowl of macaroni and cheese before reaching for the telephone. When neither Brooke nor Julian answered he groaned in aggravation. He didn't know how to handle what had just happened and he needed their help. He didn't know if he should go and talk to Ryan or get Sam to talk to him or if he should just wait it out until they got home because they were the parents so they'd take care of it.

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He paced back and forth in the waiting room praying she'd pick up. When he finally heard her voice he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey you. What's up?" He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was smiling. He then realized he was calling from Brooke's phone and she was probably expecting to hear her voice instead of his.

"It's Julian, Peyton." He said. "Something happened to Brooke tonight."

He heard her breath hitch and it took her a moment to find her voice. "She's okay, right?"

Julian shrugged. "I haven't heard anything yet. I guess what they say is true, no news is good news."

"What happened?" She asked.

Julian slumped down into one of the chairs and ran his hand down his face as he thought back to the previous two hours. "We were out to dinner with Jess and Luke when she got up and went to the bathroom. The next thing I know she's stumbling back to the table telling me there's something wrong with the baby. There was so much blood, Peyton—"

"Baby?" Peyton struggled to get the word out. "She's pregnant?"

"She didn't tell you?" Julian asked in disbelief.

She shook her head. "No." She answered softly. "How long has she known?"

"She's about two months along now." He told her. "I can't believe she didn't tell you."

"I can." Peyton sighed. "I was dumping so much on her with Mike's mom and then I told her that we were moving up here. I can only imagine what she's been going through."

He heard her rummaging through drawers and pushing them shut. "What are you doing?"

"Packing, I'm coming home."

He shook his head. "You don't have to do that, Peyt—"

"She's my best friend, Julian, and she's hurting. I need to come home." She said as she flopped her suitcase onto the bed. "I'll call you when I land."

"I'll have Jess come and pick you up if that's all right with you."

"Sounds good." She nodded. "And Julian?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell her I'm coming."

"I won't." He promised. "See you soon."

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The doorbell rang just as Jack had gotten comfortable with Emma on his lap to watch The Little Mermaid. He had decided not to intervene with Ryan and Sam but had invited Ryan to come and watch the movie with him and Emma but he had refused. Ryan had told Jack The Little Mermaid was a girly movie and he didn't watch girly movies. Emma sighed dramatically when Jack got up to answer the door. "I'll be real quick, I promise, and then we can watch the movie." He smiled at her. He wasn't sure why Emma had become so attached to him the past couple of days but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

"Hey," Jack smiled when he opened the door. "What are you doing here?" He quickly noticed the disheveled look on Haley's face and knew something had happened. "Em, why don't you go and play with Ryan for a little bit?" He suggested.

"But I want to watch Mermaid!" She whined. "You promised!"

Haley stared at Emma when she spoke; she had never heard her voice before.

"I know," Jack said as he knelt in front of her. "And I promise we will watch it just as soon as I'm done talking to Aunt Haley, okay?"

Emma held out her pinky. "Pinky promise?"

Jack nodded as he linked his pinky with hers. "I pinky promise."

Haley and Jack both watched as she ran up the staircase to see her brother. "What's going on?" Jack asked once he heard Emma and Ryan interacting.

"Where's Sam?" Haley asked as she made her way into the living room and began to pace. "Is she home?"

Jack nodded. "She's up in her room; she sort of yelled at Ryan earlier and said something that she really shouldn't have said to him. I think she's beating herself up and—"

"Jack, please just go get her."

He picked up on the urgency in her voice and did as he was told. A few minutes later he returned with Sam following behind him. "I think you should sit down." Haley said as she motioned to the couch. Both Sam and Jack looked at each other before looking warily at Haley as they sat down beside each other. "Brooke's in the hospital."

"Why?" Sam asked as she stood up. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know the specifics but Lucas said she got up to go to the bathroom and then came back a few minutes later, bleeding and saying there was something wrong with the baby when she fainted. They brought her to the hospital—"

"Is the baby okay? She didn't lose it, right?"

Haley shrugged. "I don't know that much. Lucas just called me to let me know so I could come over here and tell you guys in person. Julian's a mess and—" She stopped suddenly when she saw Sam reach for her coat and purse before pulling Jack, Emma and Ryan's coats out as well. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to the hospital." She replied.

Haley shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. I think we should just stay here and wait for them to call. Ryan and Emma won't understand what's going on and they have school tomorrow. So do you guys!"

"She's our mom, Haley." Sam sneered. "We're going to the hospital."

Jack watched as she climbed the stairs to get Emma and Ryan. "She's been in a bad mood lately," He explained to Haley. "I don't know what's going on with her. She told Ryan he didn't belong in this family earlier and you can imagine how that went." A few minutes later, Sam made her way down the stairs with just Emma.

"Ryan refuses to look at me." She said. "Can you try to get him to come?"

Jack nodded as he took Ryan's coat from her. "Go start the car so it's warm." He said as he handed her his keys.

He knocked softly on Ryan's door before pushing it open to find him sitting in the middle of his bed, pouting. "Hey, pal." Jack greeted.

"Hi." Ryan responded quietly.

"What's the matter?" Jack carefully sat down on the edge of the bed as he laid Ryan's coat beside him.

"Sam's never yelled at me before. It was scary."

"I know it was but you know she didn't mean it, right? You belong in this family more than any of us."

Ryan shook his head. "No I don't."

Jack sighed as he pondered how he was going to fix this. "You make mommy and daddy so happy, Ry. If you could have seen how sad they were before you became part of our family you'd see how much of a difference you've made. Before we got you our family wasn't much fun but now it's the best family in the world."

"I look the most like mommy and daddy, too." Ryan smiled. "Mommy says I have daddy's eyes and smile."

Jack laughed. "You do, and you have dimples in your cheeks when you smile or laugh just like mommy."

Ryan smiled to show them off. "And! I have brown hair like mommy _and_ daddy!" He pointed to the top of his head excitedly.

"See, you belong in this family and it's not just because you look like mommy and daddy it's because you love them so much and they love you."

"Then why did Sam say that to me?" He asked as he looked up innocently at Jack.

He shrugged. "Sam's been in a bad mood lately, she didn't mean what she said."

"But she still said it and I don't know why because mommy always tells me if I don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Why didn't she listen to mommy?"

"I don't know, buddy, but why don't you put your coat on? We need to get going and we can keep talking about it in the car if you want." Jack said as he handed Ryan his coat.

"Sam's going to be in the car." Ryan said as he made a face. "I can't talk about her if she's right there in the car with me."

"Okay, well once we get to the hospital you and I can go away from everybody and talk, okay?"

Ryan smiled. 'Okay. Why are we going to the hospital?"

"Mommy's there." Jack answered simply hoping Ryan would be satisfied.

"Why? Is it time for the baby to come out?"

Jack shook his head. "Not exactly, the baby made mommy a little sick so the doctors are trying to help her."

"How?"

"I don't know, when we get there I'm sure a nice doctor will explain it all to us." Jack said as he bent down to pick Ryan up and carry him to the car. When they got outside, he could see Haley sitting in the passenger seat while Sam and Emma sat in the back. No one was talking. Jack strapped Ryan into his car seat before double-checking that Sam had strapped Emma in correctly and climbing into the driver's seat.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you earlier." Sam said as she turned toward Ryan. "I didn't mean it."

Ryan crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window. "I don't have anything nice to say to you so I'm not going to say anything at all."

Jack struggled to stifle the laugh that was trying to escape his mouth and he turned to see Haley smiling and struggling as well. Sam sighed as she slouched down in the seat and folded her arms across her chest as well. The rest of the ride to the hospital was silent except for Emma humming a song from The Little Mermaid.

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Just as Julian saw Sam, Jack, Ryan, Emma and Haley making their way into the ER waiting room he heard a doctor call his name.

"Mr. Baker?"

He jumped to his feet and headed toward the doctor. "Hi," He said as he extended his hand. "I'm Julian."

"Dr. Gordon," He replied as he shook Julian's hand. "Would you care to sit down?" He asked as he motioned inside his office.

Julian nodded as he followed the doctor and sat down across from him at his desk. While Dr. Gordon rummaged through a few drawers and looked for a couple papers, Julian found himself growing more anxious with each passing second. Why was he in the doctor's office? Was it that bad that he needed to talk to him in private? What had happened to Brooke? What had happened to their baby?

"Mr. Baker," Dr. Gordon said as he leaned forward on his desk. "Do you know what happened to your wife this evening?"

He shook his head. "She just got up to go to the bathroom and everything seemed fine until she came back and she said that something was wrong." He ran his hand down his face. "Is she okay?"

"Can you tell me about her eating habits? Does she eat three meals a day? Drink plenty of fluids? That sort of thing?"

"She usually has a coffee in the morning, decaf, I'll make her bring something else with her like a piece of fruit or something because just coffee isn't good on her stomach especially now that she's pregnant. I think she usually goes across the street from where she works and gets a sandwich for lunch and then I always make dinner in the evenings…" he trailed off and began to shake his head.

"What is it?" Dr. Gordon asked.

"I never noticed it until now but she's so busy helping our two younger children with their food that she hardly even touches hers. I can't believe I didn't notice it earlier. Is that what made her faint?"

"Your wife is severely mal-nourished and dehydrated. I don't think she's had food in her system for close to a week—"

"No," Julian shook his head. "That's not possible."

Dr. Gordon flipped through his charts. "The tests we run are 99.99% accurate and they're telling us that she hasn't had a piece of substantial solid food for at least the past seven days. Her blood had high levels of caffeine in it but you said she drinks decaf?"

"Our son, Ryan, told me earlier today that she drinks caffeinated coffee when I'm not around. That must be all she's running on is the caffeine from the coffee." Julian shook his head in disbelief. "She's okay though right? She and the baby?"

Dr. Gordon hung his head. "When you got here she was in the process of losing the baby—"

"She had a miscarriage?" Julian cried as he stood up.

"No, I didn't say that. I said she was in the process of losing the baby, if you had gotten here ten minutes after you did I don't think she would have been so lucky."

"So you were able to save the baby?"

He nodded. "She's really weak right now and the next few days are going to be critical."

"What do you mean?" Julian furrowed his brow.

"We got lucky. It's very likely that she could lose that baby due to the amount of stress her body has been through and the fact that she hasn't been eating right. She has to be extremely careful if she plans to deliver a healthy baby in a few months."

"Can I see her?"

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He quietly opened the door and stood in the doorway as he looked at her sleeping form. Her hand was placed protectively on her stomach and he smiled weakly at that as he made his way toward her and slumped into the chair beside her. He reached for the hand that wasn't on her belly and noticed her eyes flutter. "I'm sorry." He said softly when she looked over at him. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She looked around the hospital room and Julian saw the panicked look on her face. "What happened?" She asked.

He leaned closer to her and rested his elbows on the side of her bed as he squeezed her hand. "You collapsed in the restaurant on your way back from the bathroom. You said something was wrong right before you fell. You don't remember that?"

She stared at him and then down at her belly. "I didn't –"

He shook his head violently. "No. But the doctor said there's a chance you still can if you continue to treat your body so poorly."

"What do you mean? How have I been treating myself poorly?"

"They ran tests to figure out why you collapsed. Why haven't you eaten anything substantial in over a week? Why are you drinking coffee with caffeine? Why are you moving heavy things when I told you I'd do it when I got home? Why are you picking Emma up whenever she wants to be held?"

"I've been stressed lately." She said avoided eye contact with him. "I'll be better. I promise."

"You don't understand, Brooke. Your body was trying to terminate the pregnancy, that's why you were bleeding but we got you here in time so they were able to save the baby. You haven't been providing enough nutrients to the baby so your body was trying to get rid of the unhealthy pregnancy you've been living. We tried so fucking hard to get pregnant and now that we have it's like you don't want the responsibility of being pregnant."

"That's not it!" She argued.

"Then why aren't you taking care of yourself?"

She didn't say anything and instead turned over on her side to look at the wall. He reached for her left hand and pressed it against his. "See these rings? This means we're bound together…your problems are my problems so talk to me, Brooke."

She turned and faced him after wiping her eyes of the tears that had started to fall. "There's just a lot going on in my head right now, a lot of stuff that I don't understand so it's hard to put into words."

"Try." He urged. "Just try for me so I can help you."

"I'm so mad at my mom for marrying David and I know I shouldn't be. My dad's been gone for a few years and I've come to terms with his death so I don't know why I'm having such a hard time accepting David into my life."

He rubbed the inside of her hand with his thumb. "I think you should talk to your mom. Ask her what really happened between her and your dad and maybe you'll get the answers you've long since wanted."

"It won't be that simple, though." She argued.

"It could be." He tried. "What else?"

She looked down at the hospital blanket and shook her head.

"Brooke," He pleaded. "Don't shut me out."

"Please don't be mad at me." She cried as she looked up at him with watery eyes. "Please." She begged.

He shook his head. "I won't be, just tell me what's going on."

"I'm scared I'm not going to be a good mother to this baby." She said as she placed her hand on her stomach. "I'm scared to have five children because I don't know how I'm going to make them all feel loved and cared for because I'm struggling with the four we have now. I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive after Sam and Jack leave for college because they help out so much and I don't think they realize how much I appreciate everything they do. How am I going to be able to care for a newborn and get Ryan and Emma dressed, ready, fed and off to school on my own so I can get to work? What if this baby doesn't feel loved because I spend so much of my time with the other kids? What if he or she doesn't speak to me or look at me like Emma does?" She paused to wipe her eyes. "And then I got to thinking that there's a reason I was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant and that's because I'm a bad mother, I mean look at my relationship with Emma. She's been with us for months and she still refuses to come near me and I've tried so hard with her. I didn't want this child to hate me like Emma does…so I did things I knew I shouldn't have done."

Julian furrowed his brow. "What are you trying to say, Brooke?"

"I don't know if I want this baby."

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Review please!


	36. Lock

Chapter Thirty-Six: Lock

"_Please don't be mad at me." She cried as she looked up at him with watery eyes. "Please." She begged. _

_He shook his head. "I won't be, just tell me what's going on." _

"_I'm scared I'm not going to be a good mother to this baby." She said as she placed her hand on her stomach. "I'm scared to have five children because I don't know how I'm going to make them all feel loved and cared for because I'm struggling with the four we have now. I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive after Sam and Jack leave for college because they help out so much and I don't think they realize how much I appreciate everything they do. How am I going to be able to care for a newborn and get Ryan and Emma dressed, ready, fed and off to school on my own so I can get to work? What if this baby doesn't feel loved because I spend so much of my time with the other kids? What if he or she doesn't speak to me or look at me like Emma does?" She paused to wipe her eyes. "And then I got to thinking that there's a reason I was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant and that's because I'm a bad mother, I mean look at my relationship with Emma. She's been with us for months and she still refuses to come near me and I've tried so hard with her. I didn't want this child to hate me like Emma does…so I did things I knew I shouldn't have done."_

_Julian furrowed his brow. "What are you trying to say, Brooke?" _

"_I don't know if I want this baby."_

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He dropped her hand. "Were you purposefully trying to compromise the pregnancy?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "There are times when I feel so blessed to be pregnant but then there are times when I really doubt myself and my abilities to be a good mother—"

"Stop it." Julian said forcefully as he sat down on the bed and placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "I'm not letting you do this to yourself. At first you doubted your ability to care for Sam but you have done one hell of a job with her, Brooke. Then there was Jack and you weren't sure if you'd be able to help, guide and love him as much as you love Sam but you do. The same goes for Emma and Ryan. You have so much love inside of you to give that this baby is going to feel more love than he or she knows what to do with." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I know how stressed you've been lately with everything going on but you need to make time for yourself especially now that our baby is depending on you." He wrapped his arms around her and carefully laid down beside her in the small hospital bed. "I'm always going to be here for you, Brooke. Always." He whispered against her head.

"I know." She nodded.

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"I shouldn't have asked her to make my dress." Jess shook her head. "I sent her over the edge. She's so busy working on the new line and I completely disregarded that and told her she had to make my dress. I—"

"Stop." Lucas interrupted. "You didn't cause this to happen. Something was wrong with the baby long before you said anything about making the dress. Things like this happen, Jess, for no reason." He patted her knee and gave her a reassuring smile.

She nodded. "Do you think she lost the baby?"

Lucas shrugged. "Do you?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "And I can't stop thinking that I caused it."

"Caused what?" Lucas squinted as he turned to look at her.

"The miscarriage, stress causes them, Luke." She said matter-of-factly.

"And so do a number of other things." He argued. "You didn't cause this to happen and for all we know, Julian is in there right now with her and they're listening to the heartbeat because the doctor told them the baby's just fine."

Jess sighed and leaned back in the chair. "What would you do if we lost our baby? What if I had a miscarriage?" She placed her hand on her growing belly.

"I'd make sure you were okay, I'd tell you we'd get through this because we would, and we'd try again."

She looked up at him. "You wouldn't cry?"

"I would," He paused. "Just not in front of you."

"Why not?" She furrowed her brow.

"Because I wouldn't want you to see me like that, you'd already be a mess and one of us needs to remain strong to hold everything together." He straightened his posture. "Why are we talking about this?"

She shrugged. "I was just thinking what if the roles were reversed? What if I had been the one to collapse tonight? How would that have made you feel?"

"Helpless." Lucas answered honestly. "Watching Brooke fall to the floor and Julian jumping out of his chair to try and catch her was heartbreaking. Listening to him trying to talk to her on the way here and tell her that everything was going to be fine made me sick because I know how badly they want this because I want it just as badly with you and I'd be devastated if it was all taken away from me in the blink of an eye. I guarantee you this morning Brooke didn't wake up and say, 'today's the day I'm going to lose my baby.' That's the scariest part of it all, you never know what's going to happen and everything can change in a matter of seconds. I don't want anything to change, Jess. I like my life the way it is right now."

"I do too." She said softly as she rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled up beside him.

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He woke first and carefully slid out of the bed. He knew everyone was waiting for him to find out what had happened and he felt bad for falling asleep but she had needed him. As he stepped into the hallway, he tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

"Julian!" Jess exclaimed as she jumped to her feet when she saw him emerge. "What happened? How is she? What about the baby?"

"She and the baby are okay. She was in the beginning stage of a miscarriage. There's still a possibility we could lose the baby if she's not careful so she's going to have to take it easy for the next couple of weeks while she gets her strength back." He explained.

"Why'd she faint?" Lucas asked.

Julian shrugged. "They don't know." He lied. "She's sleeping now so if you guys want to go home, get some rest and come back tomorrow since there's really no use in you sitting around here all night in uncomfortable waiting room chairs."

"What are you going to do with the kids?" Jess asked as she motioned over to Sam, Jack, Ryan and Emma watching TV on the other side of the room. "It's getting late and it's a school night."

"I'll see if they want to go home and if not I don't see a problem in them staying here for the night with me." Julian shrugged.

"Haley offered to bring them home when she left a few minutes ago but they refused so I don't think they're going to want to leave." Lucas told him.

"Haley left?"

Lucas nodded. "Nathan couldn't find Sarah's teddy bear and she can't sleep without it."

Julian smiled. "Figures."

Jess leaned in to hug her brother and Lucas did the same. "Call us if anything changes." Jess instructed. "Even if it's at two in the morning, I want to know."

Julian nodded. "You'll be the first person I'll call."

"I called mom and dad." Jess said softly as she looked down at her feet before looking at Julian. "I figured they should know."

"What'd they say?"

"Not too much. They were really busy."

"They always are." Julian scoffed.

"Don't be like that." Jess begged.

"Like what?" He cried. "They practically disowned me from the time I turned eighteen. The only reason I came back to work for dad was because the business was struggling. I'm the reason his production company is what it is today and he refuses to acknowledge that. They didn't even come to my wedding, Jess. My _wedding_. But I'm sure they'll make it a priority to be at yours because they've always liked you better. You're the twin who can do no wrong. We both know that if you were the one in trouble they'd hop on the next flight to be by your side but when it's me they could care less."

"They care about you." Jess argued. "Joann knows she should have stepped in more often and not have let dad treat you the way he did. She knows that, Julian and she feels terrible. You know dad's always had a hard time showing his feelings so you can't hold that against him because that's the way he's always been. And you can't blame this all on them. They've realized how wrong they were in the past but you refuse to put it behind you and move on. You're being childish, Julian¸ so they're not the only ones to blame." Jess turned and left Julian standing in the middle of the hospital waiting room speechless.

"Daddy, can I see mommy now?" Ryan pulled on Julian's pants pulling him out of his trance. "Daddy?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Can I see mommy now?"

"She's sleeping right now, but if you want to be really quiet we can go in there." He said as he bent down to pick Ryan up.

"Can't we wake her up? I need to tell her what Sam said to me."

"Mommy needs her rest; she needs to sleep so the baby can get strong." Julian answered. "What did Sam say?"

Ryan remained silent for a few seconds, contemplating if he should tell Julian before he decided to. "She said I don't belong in this family."

"She said that to you?" He asked in disbelief.

Ryan nodded. "I told her she didn't make the macaroni as good as mommy and then she said it. I cried."

"You most definitely belong in this family, Ryan." Julian assured him. "You were meant to be my son just like I was meant to be your dad, okay? Don't ever doubt that we love you or that you belong because you do."

Ryan nodded. "I know. Jack told me the same thing."

"I'm going to go and tell Jack and Sam that I'm going to take you in to see mommy and then we'll go." He said as he made his way over to where his other kids were sitting watching TV. "Hey, guys."

Jack, Sam and Emma turned to see Julian. "Hi." Jack greeted. "How's she doing?"

"She and the baby are just fine, she's sleeping right now but Ryan really wants to see her so I'm going to bring him in for a little bit."

"Can we come in?" Sam asked.

Julian hesitated. "We have to be really quiet; I don't want her to wake up because she really needs to rest."

All the kids nodded. They started to head toward Brooke's room when Emma stopped in front of Jack and raised her arms signaling she wanted him to pick her up. Julian stopped suddenly in front of Brooke's door and turned to face his kids. "Mommy might look a little different but don't be scared."

Sam eyed Julian. "Different how?"

"She's really pale from the amount of blood she lost earlier. Her color's supposed to return within the next day or so." Julian replied as he opened the door. "Quiet, remember."

Emma squirmed to get out of Jack's arms and he let her down only to watch her rush to the edge of Brooke's bed. Julian tensed fearing Emma would wake Brooke up but Jack stopped him from intervening by placing his hand on Julian's forearm and shaking his head.

"She looks like a ghost." Ryan whispered.

Emma nodded her head in agreement as she stared at Brooke. In that moment, Julian wished he could be inside her little head to know what she was thinking. He needed to know what had happened before they had adopted Emma, he needed to know why she refused to be close to Brooke. He saw how much of an effect it had on Brooke; she nearly compromised their miracle pregnancy because she was terrified their child would be like Emma. He needed to know what had happened in her life before she became part of their family.

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Emma and Ryan had grown bored of being quiet after a little while of being in the room with Brooke. Once they realized that their mom was just going to sleep they saw no point in sitting there watching her. Jack, Sam and Emma sat watching TV in the waiting room eating chips and candy they had gotten out of the vending machine but Ryan sat by himself immersed in a Clifford book. Julian noticed him sitting all by himself when he returned from the bathroom and saw an opportunity.

"Good book?" He asked as he settled into the seat beside his son.

"I can't read it yet. I'm only in kindergarten and they're big words." Ryan said as he pointed to them. "I like the pictures."

"I do too." Julian agreed. "It's better when you make up your own story, anyway."

"That's what I do!" Ryan exclaimed. "I make up my own story to go along with the pictures! Did you do that too when you were little and couldn't read?"

He smiled. "I still do it."

"Is mommy going to be okay?" Ryan asked.

Julian nodded. "She's going to be just fine. She's just sleeping right now because she's really tired."

Ryan nodded. "Am I still going to be a big brother?"

"You are." Julian confirmed. "Can I ask you a question about something?"

"I guess." Ryan shrugged.

"Do you know why Emma is afraid of mommy? Do you know why she doesn't talk to her or let her pick her up or get close without crying?"

Ryan nodded.

"Do you think you could tell me why?"

Ryan shrugged.

"Buddy, please." He begged.

"Mommy didn't do anything wrong. It was our old mom that scared her." Ryan said softly.

"What did she do?" Julian inquired.

"My old daddy used to take me camping one weekend a month and my old mommy would stay home with Emma. Daddy said it was better that way because the boys got a weekend together doing boy things and the girls got to be girly. I feel bad that I had fun on my trips but Emma wouldn't." Ryan said as he hung his head in guilt.

"How come Emma didn't have fun with your mom?"

"You know the medicines that they made that made my house explode?" He asked

Julian nodded apprehensively.

"She'd take some and just sit in front of the TV for hours. She'd forget all about me and Emma. She was mean then too." Ryan explained.

"What did she do to Emma during those weekends you and your dad were away?"

"She locked Emma in her room with nothing for the whole time daddy and I were gone. She didn't get to use the potty or eat food or anything!" Ryan cried. "Mommy even took her favorite dollies away so she had nothing to play with either."

Julian sighed as he leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. "How do you know this happened?"

"Whenever we came home daddy had to ask mommy for the key to Emma's room and he'd unlock the door. At first she cried but she stopped doing that since mommy did it all the time. I think she got used to it."

"How come your dad didn't take her with you guys when you went camping?"

"He said that camping was a boy thing and that Emma was naughty so that's why she gets locked in her room but I know she wasn't naughty." Ryan said.

"How do you know that?"

"Emma was the goodest little sister. She did everything right."

Julian nodded as he pulled Ryan onto his lap. "She knows that she's not going to get locked in her room anymore, right?"

Ryan shrugged. "I told her not to be afraid of mommy because she's different from our other one but she's still scared I think."

"Thanks buddy. I'm really glad that you told me all this." He smiled. "Why don't you have Sam and Jack take you down to the cafeteria to get something to eat?" He suggested as he handed Ryan a twenty dollar bill.

"Like a midnight snack?" Ryan's eyes lit up.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Like a midnight snack." He agreed.

"I've never stayed up until midnight before!"

Julian looked down at his watch to see it was a little before ten-thirty. "Well you have now." He grinned. Ryan ran over to Sam, Jack and Emma as Julian walked toward them. Emma reached up for Julian to hold her the moment she saw him.

"Don't you want to come get some food?" Sam asked Emma who shook her head.

"We'll get some food later." Julian told them. "I'm going to take Emma into Brooke's room for a little while."

Sam nodded and reached for Ryan's hand but he refused to take it, instead, he reached for Jack's and spit his tongue out at Sam. "I'm still mad at you." He said.

Julian shook his head at their antics before heading toward the room while his three kids headed toward the cafeteria.

"Why are we going to see mommy again?" Emma asked softly.

"I just wanted to sit with her for a little bit, don't you think she'd like it if she woke up and saw your pretty face smiling back at her?"

Emma shrugged as Julian opened the door.

"Hey beautiful," Julian greeted when he saw Brooke was awake. "What are you doing up?"

"I don't sleep very well without you beside me." She shrugged. "Hi baby girl."

"Can you say hi to mommy?" Julian asked Emma as he sat down in the chair beside Brooke's bed with Emma on his lap.

Emma shook her head.

"You don't have to be afraid of her, you know." He said as he reached for Brooke's hand. "She's not mean or scary. She's not going to hurt to you."

Brooke eyed Julian suspiciously. She knew that he knew something she didn't but she was planning on playing along if it got Emma to open up to her.

"She might." Emma whispered, avoiding eye contact with Brooke.

Julian shook his head. "No matter what you do, mommy is always going to love you. She's not going to get mad and take your dollies away. She's not going to ignore you and not talk to you. She's always going to make sure you have plenty of food and she's never, ever, going to lock you in your bedroom all by yourself for days."

Emma looked up at him with a shocked expression.

"Ryan told me what your mom used to do when your dad took Ryan camping. That's never going to happen again, Emma. We love you so much that it hurts and we could never do something like that to you. You mean everything to us, just like your brother." Julian said. "You don't need to be afraid of mommy."

Emma looked at Brooke for the first time and then back at Julian. Cautiously she climbed from his lap onto the hospital bed. Julian told her to be careful, mommy was sore, so she carefully snuggled into Brooke's embrace. Brooke could feel how tense Emma's small body was but she didn't mind. She rubbed lazy circles on Emma's back until she fell asleep with her head resting on Brooke's shoulder.

"What just happened?" Brooke whispered.

"I asked Ryan why she was so distant with you. Apparently, Dennis would take Ryan camping one weekend a month and Kate would stay home with Emma. Well, while Dennis and Ryan were off having a great time, Kate was shooting up and she would lock Emma in her bedroom for the entire weekend. She didn't have anything to play with, she wasn't fed and she couldn't go to the bathroom."

Brooke shook her head as tears began to form. "How could someone do that to their child?"

Julian shrugged. "I don't know, but the good thing is is that she's with us now and she's never going to have to experience that again."

"How come she wasn't afraid of you?'

"Every Sunday when Dennis and Ryan would come home, Dennis would get the key from Kate and unlock Emma's door. I think she saw him as her savior since he was the one who always freed her from her room. She's scared of females since she associates them with her mom but I think now that we know the reason she's been so distant with you we can overcome it." Julian smiled.

Brooke nodded. "I really wish you could hold me right now, I sleep the best when you do."

Julian grinned as he got up from the chair and scooted into bed with his wife and daughter.

"Julian!" Brooke squealed, waking Emma up.

"What are you doing daddy?" She asked groggily.

"Trying to get comfortable, sorry I woke you."

"It's okay." She smiled.

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart." Brooke whispered against her head as she kissed her.

Julian finally stopped moving and somehow, all three of them fit in the hospital bed.

"I love you." Julian said before leaning in to kiss Brooke.

"I love you, too." She replied.

"I love you mommy and daddy." Emma giggled as she nestled in closer to Brooke.

"We love you too, baby girl." Brooke said as she looked at Julian with the biggest grin on her face.

Just as they were about to fall asleep there was a knock on the door. Julian eyed Brooke and before he had the chance to get up and see who was there, the door opened.

"Peyton." Brooke gasped. "What are you doing here?"

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Review please!


	37. Miss

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Miss

"Hey," She said softly as she remained in the doorway.

Julian slipped out of the bed and made his way over to the other side to get Emma. She stirred slightly but didn't wake as he carried her toward the door. "It's good to see you, Peyton. We missed you." He said as he walked past her.

Peyton smiled as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I missed you too."

"What are you doing here?" Brooke asked as she struggled to sit up once Julian had left leaving her and Peyton alone.

Peyton saw how much Brooke was struggling to sit up and how much pain she was in due to the amount of wincing she was doing. She hurried over and helped her get comfortable. "I came to see you." She answered simply. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

Brooke shrugged. "I didn't know how."

"Brooke," Peyton sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's not that hard. All you had to do was pick up the phone and call me."

Brooke shook her head. "You're my best friend; I'm not supposed to tell you over the phone. I wanted to tell you so badly but it never seemed like the right time. I hate that you live in a different state and the only way I can talk to you is on the phone. There's so much I have to tell you and only you because you get me like nobody else in the world. I miss you so much, Peyton."

"I've missed you so much too," She smiled.

"Then why don't you ditch Philly and come back home where you belong?"

Peyton sighed. "I really do miss it here, Tree Hill's my home and it feels weird to be in a place that is so different from here. I miss seeing you on a daily basis, I miss seeing Nathan and Haley and I can tell that being this far away from Lucas is starting to take its toll on Connor. I've realized how much I've missed and I don't want to miss anymore."

"Good." Brooke smiled.

"It's not that easy, Brooke." Peyton frowned. "Mike and I have had so many fights over the past couple weeks because I've told him a few times how much I want to move back here and he refuses. He won't listen to me and I don't know what to do."

"Don't do anything." Brooke shrugged earning a questioning look from Peyton. "I'll take care of it."

Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "No offense, but I think you're going to have a harder time than me convincing him to move back."

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know about that."

"So, are you going to tell me what happened with you and why you're in the hospital?" Peyton asked as she leaned forward and rested her head on the edge of the bed.

"Julian and I went out with Jess and Luke for dinner and I got up to go to the bathroom and on my way back I fainted. I was in the early stage of a miscarriage but they got me to the hospital in time to stop it from progressing so they were able to save the baby." She explained.

"Do they know why you fainted?"

She nodded. "I haven't been eating and it caught up with me. I was mal-nourished and severely dehydrated."

"Brooke!" Peyton exclaimed. "Do you know how dangerous that is to you and especially the baby? That little boy or girl is depending on you for everything and it's not fair to deprive them of vital nutrients."

"I know," Brooke said as she hung her head in shame. "I don't know why I did it."

"Does it have something to do with your mom marrying David?"

Brooke raised her eyebrows. "You know?"

She nodded. "Sam told me out in the waiting room. I stopped and said hi to them before I came in here."

"It has a lot to do with that and Emma and my dad." Brooke said softly.

"Your dad?" Peyton asked. She knew how protective Brooke was of her father and she also knew she never talked about him. Since he died, Peyton could only recall Brooke talking about her dad twice. "What about him?"

Brooke shrugged. "I hate that my mother married David. I want to be okay with it and happy for her but I can't because I don't think it's fair to my dad. I don't want to accept David as a part of our family because that means my dad has been replaced."

Peyton shook her head. "No one can replace your dad, Brooke. Just because David's now married to your mom doesn't mean he's your new dad. He makes your mom happy and that should, in turn, make you happy."

"I know and I've tried to be happy for her but it doesn't work."

"How come?" Peyton pressed.

"I think because I never saw her that happy with my dad so how do I know that she really loved him? What if she only married him because of his money? There's a lot I don't know about his relationship with my mom and I want to know."

Peyton nodded. "You deserve the answers."

"How am I supposed to get them?" Brooke asked.

"I'll take care of that."

Brooke smiled and raised her eyebrow. "How?"

"You take care of Mike for me and I'll take care of Bitchtoria for you."

"Please don't call her that," Brooke begged. "It was a suitable name for her a few years ago but she's changed, Peyton."

"If you say so." Peyton groaned as she rolled her eyes.

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"Hi Victoria, its Peyton." She said into the phone as she paced back and forth.

"Peyton," Victoria sighed. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"Well I'm surprised you actually picked up considering Julian has tried calling you for the past twelve hours and you didn't pick up for him—"

"Why would he be trying to call me? He knows that I'm on my honeymoon in Tahiti."

"Brooke collapsed yesterday and she almost had a miscarriage. He thought her mother would like to know." Peyton sniped.

"She what? Is she okay? What about the baby? How is Julian doing?" She panicked.

"They're all fine. She's just been really stressed lately and most of that stress is related to you."

"What could I have possibly done that led her to collapse?"

"You married David." Peyton said simply.

'You know, Peyton, I really don't like your tone." Victoria huffed.

"I don't care if you like it or not; you're not my mother." Peyton shot back.

"I know that but that doesn't give you the right to speak to me the way you are. I don't understand why you are always so unpleasant to me."

"I don't like you." She said. "I saw how you treated Brooke growing up and even though you and she claim you made up for it and things are better now I disagree. You still treat her poorly and you don't even consider her feelings when you marry David—"

"None of this is your business." Victoria interrupted.

"It _is_ my business because Brooke is my best friend and I'll do anything for her and that includes calling you out when you're wrong."

Victoria sighed. "What does she want me to do?"

"She wants you to come home so she can talk to you about Ethan. I don't know why, but she misses you, Victoria, and she loves you…a lot."

Victoria struggled to keep her voice from cracking. "Tell her I'm on the next flight home."

"I will." Peyton said curtly. "Goodbye Victoria."

"Goodbye, Peyton." Victoria replied before hanging up and reaching for her suitcase. "David, dear, we're going home."

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"Hi Mike," Brooke greeted when he picked up. "How are you doing?"

"Not great, she doesn't have much time left."

Brooke ran her hand through her hair as she recalled when her dad was dying and he didn't have much time left. "I know how hard it is." She said softly.

"You do?" Mike asked surprise evident in his voice.

She nodded. "My dad got diagnosed with emphysema and died a few months later. Watching him suffer was the hardest thing I've ever lived through; I know what it feels like to watch the person you love the most slowly decompose day by day."

"I didn't expect to be this emotional, I'm sorry." He said and Brooke could hear him cough and sniffle as he tried to regain his composure. "How are you doing? Peyton left in a hurry yesterday and said something about the fact that you're in the hospital. Everything okay?"

She nodded. "I fainted and was in the beginning stage of a miscarriage but everything is okay now."

"God, Brooke, are you sure?"

She smiled at his concern. "Yeah, I just have to take it easy until I get my strength back."

"So, to what do I owe this wonderful phone call from you?" He smiled.

"Can you come back here to Tree Hill?"

She heard him sigh loudly. "Brooke. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because my dad's whole life is up here and he's struggling with losing my mom it wouldn't be fair to force him to move down to Tree Hill right after she passes."

"What if it's what he needs? What if everywhere he looks he sees Colleen and what he shared with her during her life and it becomes too much for him to handle? Don't you want to spare him the agony of that?"

"If it comes to that then I'd consider leaving Philly but I can't just tell him to pack his bags because we're moving to North Carolina."

She sighed. "Well I miss my best friend. And my godson and goddaughter. And you. I miss all of you and the past few months have been miserable without you guys."

"It's just been hard because you've never been away from Peyton for this long before. You two have always been connected at the hip, it's expected that you'd go through some sort of separation anxiety." Mike tried to reason. 'It'll get better."

"No it won't," Brooke whined. "She hates it up there."

"She does?"

Brooke brought her hand to her forehead and shook her head. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Well you did and now you need to elaborate." Mike said.

"It's just all foreign to her and she doesn't like that. She misses being able to stop in at my house just because. She misses hanging out with Nate and Haley while Jamie and Connor splash in the pool. She misses it here and she's tried telling you that but she said you won't listen." Brooke said as she twirled the phone cord around her finger.

Mike sighed. "I thought she was just sad because my mother was dying but now I've realized it's probably a combination of that and the fact that she misses her old life. I just don't know what to do, Brooke. If I stay up here she's unhappy. If I come back there my dad will be. I just don't know."

"She's coming home tomorrow afternoon so how about you plan to pick her up at the airport and then bring her someplace for dinner and just talk. And listen. You need to make sure you listen to what she is saying Mike because she feels like you haven't been. Whatever you decide to do you need to decide together and agree upon it." She said.

"I know," he said. "Thanks Brooke."

"Anytime." She smiled. "And hopefully I'll see you soon."

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Later that night, Brooke was discharged from the hospital and ordered on strict bed rest for the next week in order for her to gather more strength. Peyton had brought Sam, Jack, Emma and Ryan home earlier in the afternoon so they could get the house looking its best before Brooke returned.

"Where are we going?" Brooke asked when Julian passed their street. "You didn't buy a new house again did you?" She smirked.

"No," he laughed. "I just want to spend a little more time alone with you before we go back home to a houseful of kids."

"So, where are we going?" She smiled.

"It's a surprise." He grinned as he continued to drive toward his destination.

A short while later they arrived at the local coffee shop where she had spent many mornings with Sam eating breakfast and talking about her birth mom who waitressed the tables around them. "What are we doing here?" Brooke asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Easy," Julian said as he helped her.

"You're really going to make my life a living hell for the next week, aren't you?"

"The doctor said that you're only allowed out of bed to go to the bathroom and that's it. He'd be pissed to find out that I'm taking you into a coffee shop minutes after getting discharged." He said. "I also don't want anything to make you risk losing the baby again."

"We're not losing this baby." She said as she patted her belly.

He helped her out of the car and held her hand as they walked slowly into the empty coffee shop. The only person in there beside the teenage waitress was a small old man nursing a steaming cup of coffee. "What are we doing here?' Brooke asked again as he helped her slide into a booth.

"I really like this place." Julian said as he looked around. "The mirrors make it look like it's a lot bigger than it really is. The bar is a nice place for people who are just stopping in for lunch to eat. It has that small town feel, you know?"

Brooke nodded unsure of why he was rambling the way he was.

"It's also where I fell in love with you."

Brooke's eyes widened. "Here? Really? When?"

He smiled at her amazement as he reached for her hands and held them on the table. "You don't remember?"

She shook her head. "The only thing I remember is crying like an idiot after I read the breakdown of the girl you were looking for to play me in the movie and you definitely could not have fallen in love with me then."

"That's where you're wrong." Julian grinned. "That's the exact moment that I fell in love with you and knew that if I got the chance to spend the rest of my life with you I'd be the luckiest man in the world."

"Why that moment?" She asked. "Why not the night after we made love for the first time? Why not that time on the beach when you said if you could spend every day like that day you'd die a happy man? Why not—"

"You let your guard down for the first time around me. You let me see the most vulnerable and sacred part of you and you didn't hide it or try and shy away. I know that I caught you off guard that day but you did the same thing to me. You said that you had a hard time letting people in in the past but that day you had no problem letting me in and that meant the world to me. I knew then that I was in love with you and I couldn't let you get away." He said as he squeezed her hands.

"I really love you, you know that?" She smiled.

"I really love you too." He said as he leaned across the table to wipe the one tear that had fallen off of her cheek.

"What do you say we head home to our houseful of kids?" She asked as she nodded toward the door.

"Let's do it." He grinned as he helped her up.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Mommy!" Emma squealed when she saw Brooke walk through the front door.

Seeing Emma wrap herself around Brooke's leg made Julian's heart melt. It showed how far they had come with her and although they still had more to go the progress she had made in just the past few days was astounding. "Easy, Em." Julian cautioned. "Mommy's a little sore still."

"Where's the baby?" Ryan asked.

Brooke smiled. "The baby still has a lot of growing to do before he or she can come home to live with us."

"So it's still inside of you?"

Brooke nodded. "The baby won't be here for seven more months."

Ryan huffed. "Seriously?" He cried.

"Seriously, bud." Julian said as he picked him up. "What do you say, time for bed?"

Ryan shook his head.

"It's late, Ry."

"Yeah, but tomorrow's Saturday." He grinned.

Brooke laughed. "He has a point."

Ryan smiled in satisfaction. "Mommy's on my side."

"Okay, well what do you want to do tonight?" Julian asked.

"Watch a movie!" Emma exclaimed.

Julian looked over at Brooke who nodded. "I'll be resting." She shrugged.

Julian, Brooke, Peyton, Sam, Jack, Emma and Ryan all gathered in the large family room to watch Cars, Emma and Ryan's current favorite movie. Ryan loved pointing things out to Peyton since she had never seen the movie and Ryan was an expert seeing as he had watched Cars at least fifteen times. Sam and Jack weren't paying attention at all to the movie and Brooke wished she could hear what they were whispering about because Jack didn't look that happy. Julian smiled as he glanced down to see Brooke cuddled in his arms while she played with Emma's hair since she was lying in her lap. e couHe couldn't help but feel content with his life since he knew everything was okay. His baby was going to be all right, his wife loved him, his kids were happy and those were the things that mattered the most in life.

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Review please!


	38. Kick

**So I know I haven't updated in a month and I am so sorry for that! I didn't mean for it to take that long! Unfortunately there will only be two more chapters after this one…some of you may be upset with the time jump that will happen next chapter ((six months into the future)) but there's only so much that can remain to happen in this fic. That being said, I am very excited to post my new fic once I finish this one ((it's another Brooke/Julian one)). It will be sad to end this one but I feel like it's time. I've done all that I can do and I'm proud of what I've accomplished in the past 37 chapters. I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Kick

Brooke groaned as she tossed another issue of Us Weekly onto the floor. "Julian! I'm dying in here!" She yelled.

Julian grinned as he stepped out of the bathroom tying his tie. "Just one more day and then you won't be confined to this bed. You can get up and start doing a few things around the house, go for a short walk, things like that." He said.

"You're going to let me do things like that?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"If the doctor says you're okay to do that kind of stuff than I'm not going to stop you. However, you have to take it easy and slow at first, okay?"

She nodded. "Want to spend the day in bed with us? We're very bored." She said as she rubbed her belly.

"I wish I could, babe, but I have a meeting at the office about the budget for the movie. I should be home a little after two though so then we can spend the rest of the day in bed together." He said as he leaned in to kiss her. "I love you and I'll see you later."

"Love you too." She pouted as she reached for the remote.

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"I thought Brooke said she would make your dress?" Lucas asked as he waited for Jess to emerge from the dressing room.

"Yeah, but then she collapsed and was put on bed rest and I can't put that kind of stress on her, Luke." She said. "And besides, the wedding is in two weeks. How do you like this one?" She asked as she opened the door.

"I think it looks the same as the last one you tried on." He answered honestly.

She groaned. "The last one had a lace overlay and a sweetheart neckline. This one doesn't have any lace and it's strapless. You're really not helping at all."

"Jess, I don't care what you wear two weeks from now all I care about is that you're finally going to become my wife. You could wear a paper bag for all I care and you'd still look stunning." He said as he cupped his hands on either side of her face.

"Well at the rate we're going I might just have to take you up on that offer because every single thing I try on makes me look like a whale." She said as she gestured to her lower half.

"You do not look like a whale." He laughed. "You look beautiful."

She sighed. "I was thinking that maybe we could do the wedding your way. I don't need all of this," she said as she gestured around the bridal shop. "I don't want any of this."

"Are you sure?" He asked warily. "I don't want you to give all of this up because you're frustrated—"

She shook her head. "I'm not giving it up because I'm frustrated I'm giving it up because it doesn't matter to me. All I want is for you and me to be married, I've waited long enough and I don't want to have to wait two more weeks to call you my husband."

"What are you saying?"

Her eyes lit up. "Let's go get married right now."

"Jess," He exclaimed as he shook his head in disbelief. "We cannot get married right now."

"Why not?" She challenged.

"Because…" He paused. "Because it's ridiculous! Who gets married on a whim?"

"It's not a whim, we're supposed to get married in two weeks so what does it matter if we push up the date a few days?"

"What about our families? They're supposed to be there."

"They'll be there in spirit." She shrugged. "C'mon, Luke, do something crazy and unexpected for once."

"I do crazy and unexpected things." He argued.

"Switching laundry day from Tuesday to Thursday is not crazy or unexpected, it's pathetic, Luke." She laughed.

He sighed as he ran his fingers through his short hair. "Okay." He said simply.

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She absolutely hated being on bed rest. At first, she loved it; relaxing all day, not having to worry about cooking dinner or cleaning up but as the days went on she grew tired of having nothing to do. Julian had caught her twice picking things up around the house and she had been scolded so now she only got out of bed to go to the bathroom like the doctor had instructed. As she flipped through the same old boring daytime television shows she heard the front door open. Everyone she knew had things to do during the day which was why she was always so bored, nobody was around. "Who's there?" She asked skeptically. No one responded. She could hear the click clack of heels on the wood floor though so she knew her visitor was female. She heard her climb the stairs and with each step Brooke grew more and more nervous as to whom this person was.

"Brooke, honey," her mom sighed when she finally revealed herself. "Why don't you have the front door locked?"

She shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

"I was supposed to be here a week ago but there were all sorts of issues down at the Tahitian airport that prevented us from getting back." Victoria said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Peyton called and told me what happened."

Brooke nodded. "Julian tried calling too."

"I know," Victoria said as she hung her head in shame. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine." Brooke responded curtly.

"Brooke, please, I'm trying here."

"No you aren't." She said as she narrowed her eyes. "All you've said since you walked in was that Peyton called and told you what happened and asked if I'm okay. That's not trying; that's stupid small talk."

"Why don't you like David?"

"If we talk about this and about dad I want the truth. I'm not a kid anymore so you don't have to lie and pretend and sugarcoat things. I want to know what your relationship with dad was like." She said.

"Okay," Victoria said as she straightened out her skirt. "What do you want to know?"

"How did you meet?"

"Brooke," her mom laughed. "I must have told you that story already."

She shook her head. "You were never around to tell me the story."

Brooke saw the regret in her mother's eyes. "I'm sorry for that." She said softly.

"But you're around now and that's what matters." Brooke slightly smiled.

"I was a waitress at the country club where he and his family frequented. I guess you could say it was love at first sight because before either one of us knew what was happening we were sneaking away together because if his family found out he was seeing me all hell would break loose. As time went on our feelings deepened and we realized that we really did love each other so he proposed one night in the middle of the street. We grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone, kind of like here, so within seconds the whole town knew that wealthy Ethan Davis had just asked poor Victoria Bloom to marry him and she had said yes. His parents were livid but there was nothing they could do about it, they had threatened to take his trust fund away but he was nineteen and it was turned over in his name when he turned eighteen. Your dad couldn't stand that his family wouldn't accept me so we left."

"Where'd you go?" Brooke asked.

"New York. Your dad had an uncle up there who gave him a job at his company and as they years went on he worked his way up and eventually became vice president. That's when we found out we were going to be parents, shortly after he was named VP." Victoria smiled. "What your dad didn't know was that I had been unfaithful."

Brooke's face fell. "What?"

"I cheated on your dad, Brooke, and I knew that there was no way for the baby inside of me to be his so I terminated the pregnancy one afternoon while he was at a meeting and that night I told him I had suffered a miscarriage—"

"How could you do that to him?" Brooke asked, enraged.

"You wanted me to be honest, dear," Victoria said. "You wanted to know our story so I'm telling you."

"How could you cheat on him?"

She shrugged. "He worked a lot and I got lonely—"

"That's not an excuse to cheat on your husband!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Brooke, please calm down." Victoria pleaded. "Let me continue and then you can judge me." When she didn't get an objection, Victoria continued. "I know what I did was wrong but at the time I thought he was sleeping with his receptionist. When I found out that he wasn't I felt terrible. But, I didn't feel as bad as I should have. I realized in the days that I spent alone shopping or at the spa that I had fallen out of love with your dad. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to leave him because I didn't know what would happen to me if I did. He took care of me, he loved me and he had more money than God. I had grown up with nothing so being able to drop $5,000 on clothes on a random Tuesday afternoon was something I didn't want to lose. I had grown accustom to living a high society life." Victoria looked up at Brooke for a moment before she continued. "The day that I had finally convinced myself to leave because it wasn't fair to either of us was the day I found out I was pregnant with you." She said as she reached out for her daughter's hand. "Your dad was so happy and overjoyed, and once he found out you were a girl he was even more excited. But then one day during my eighth month he found me in a compromising situation with our neighbor Karl. I had tld him it was nothing but we both knew it was something." Victoria said sadly. "I had expected him to file for divorce and kick me to the streets but he didn't. He said that we would stay together for the sake of our daughter. He said that we were beyond repair and that I had betrayed him in the worst way, it was unforgiveable." She paused as she wiped tears from her eyes. "After you were born your dad became president of the company and work required his constant attention. Being around you reminded me of all I had lost with your dad so I preferred to be in Paris or Barcelona or Rome rather than with my own daughter. I regret that so much, Brooke. I regret what I did to your dad and not a day goes by where I don't think about how different all our lives would have been if I hadn't screwed up."

"They would have been really different," Brooke said. "But who's to say they would have been better?"

Victoria nodded.

"Why didn't you go and visit him when he was dying?" Brooke asked.

"He paid for everything while I was on my trips. Even after I had hurt him like I had he still took care of me. He told me that if being with Karl made me happy than I should keep seeing him and that one day he'd move on like I clearly had."

"He didn't, did he?" Brooke asked.

Victoria shook her head. "That's why I couldn't face him. He never stopped loving me even after everything I put him through. I know that the divorce killed him but I couldn't go on being married to him when I was sleeping with other men, Brooke. I knew it wasn't right and it was time I put an end to the charade we were playing."

Brooke played with a string on the bedspread. "Did you ever really love him? I mean _really_ love him with your whole being?" She asked.

Victoria sighed. "The love I felt for your father isn't comparable to the love I've felt for all the other men in my life. I loved your dad more than I've loved anyone else in the world other than you. I just didn't know how to show it." She said as a tear slid down her cheek. "I'm sorry."

Brooke leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her mother. "I forgive you." She said softly. "Dad does too."

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Lucas paced nervously back and forth outside the women's bathroom at the courthouse. Jess had been in there for a long time and he wasn't sure what was taking her so long. "Jess," he said as he knocked on the door for the fifth time. "Are you almost ready?"

"No." She replied. "I don't know if I can do this."

He leaned against the door. "It's okay to be scared, Jess. I'm scared to death to get married again but I love you more than I've loved anyone and so I know that we're going to be okay." He sighed. "Please open the door."

"I can't." She said.

He sighed deeply as he reached into his pocked and pulled out his phone and waited for her to answer.

"Hi Luke!" She chirped. "Are you calling to ask if you can come over and entertain me because I'd love that. We can play a game or something if you want. Remember when we used to play Scrabble for hours? We could do that."

He laughed. "I can tell that you're sick of being on bed rest."

"I've been sick of it from the first day." She replied. "What's up?"

"I'm actually calling because I need a favor. Jess has locked herself in the bathroom at the courthouse and she won't come out. The judge can't wait around forever, Brooke." He said as he looked down the hallway toward the chambers.

"Are you guys getting married?" Brooke cried in disbelief. "I thought the wedding was in two weeks!"

"It was supposed to be but we decided to screw all that but now I think she's getting cold feet and rethinking everything even though she was the one who suggested we get married today."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Come down here and talk to her?" He smiled.

"Julian would kill me and my mom's making lunch in the kitchen so I can't even try to sneak out." She said. "What if you told her I wanted to talk to her and then you gave her the phone?"

Lucas nodded. "That could work. Hold on." He said as he knocked on the door. "Jess, babe, Brooke's on the phone and she wants to talk to you." It took a couple seconds but he heard her stand up and unlock the door before sticking her hand out. "Here she is." He told Brooke before handing her the phone.

"Hi." Jess said softly after she closed and locked the door again.

"Hey you." Brooke smiled. "Julian's going to be livid when he finds out that you got married without him."

"He'll get over it." She shrugged.

"What's going on?" Brooke asked softly. "Today should be the happiest day of your life."

"I'm scared." She said as she sank down against the wall. "What if we end up like him and Peyton did? What if we're moving too fast and we ruin what we have? What then, Brooke?"

"That's not going to happen—"

"You can't promise that." Jess argued.

"Can I tell you something I've never told anyone before?"

"I guess."

"There was a time in my life when I didn't believe in love because I had seen it fail time after time whether it was with my parents or Lucas or Chase or the other boyfriends I had in college. There are always those big romantic gestures and long, heartfelt speeches we see in the movies but I didn't think they existed in real life but then I met Julian and all that changed. I started to believe in love and realized that it can conquer all if you open yourself up to it. I was so scared to allow myself to be loved and open and vulnerable but the day I decided to let him in was the best day of my life. It changed everything and I know now that as long as we're together anything is possible. You and I are a lot alike, Jess. We're strong and independent yet broken and scared to love but you have to take a chance. You have to let yourself fall so that he can catch you and I promise he's going to be there to do that. You're different than Peyton. He's different now because of what happened and he's never going to let something like that happen to him again. The fact that he's marrying you is proof enough that he believes in love and that the two of you are going to be more than okay." Brooke told her.

"Do you think I'm crazy for calling off the wedding and getting married today?"

"No." Brooke answered honestly.

"Okay then," She sighed. "I'm really doing this."

"Were you hoping I would talk you out of this?" Brooke laughed.

Jess shrugged. "Sort of."

"Go get married, Jess." Brooke smiled. "Lucas is waiting."

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She had left five days ago and was now on her way back…for good this time. Mike had done as he had promised Brooke and had taken Peyton out to dinner where they talked but more importantly listened to each other. They then went home and talked to Steve who had agreed to move to Tree Hill once Colleen had passed away. Ironically, she passed away that night. The funeral had been yesterday and Peyton struggled to hold it together for the sake of Mike and Steve. Connor and Hannah had no idea what was going on and Peyton didn't want to scare them so she had plastered on a smile for their sake. Neighbors had helped pack boxes and had told Steve they'd take care of the sale of the house for him. Everything went as smoothly as it could have gone but as they were driving back to Tree Hill, Peyton couldn't help but feel guilty. Colleen had died just days ago and they were already moving away from her.

"Stop it."

Peyton turned her attention away from the passing cars outside the window and looked at Mike. "What?"

"Stop feeling guilty about this."

She stared at him. "How could—why?"

He smiled as he reached for her hand. "I know you better than you think I do."

"I'm glad we're going home." She said softly, careful not to wake Connor, Hannah and Steve who were sleeping in the back.

"I am too." He agreed.

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She sat in the middle of her bed staring at the diamond ring on her left ring finger. It was beautiful. She loved Jack more than she had ever loved anyone but she still felt unsure about marrying him. She wished she hadn't said yes but instead that they were too young and she'd think about it. She didn't want to rush into anything. She had dreams and goals and she was scared that if she married Jack all that she wanted to accomplish wouldn't be possible anymore. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the person standing in her doorway.

"When were you planning on telling me you were getting married?"

The voice surprised her causing her to jump. "Oh my god," she gasped as she quickly took the ring off and stuffed it under a pillow. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see that it's a pretty nice ring."

"Brooke, I'm—"

She held up her hand instantly silencing her daughter. Sam feared that she would start yelling and screaming and then collapse due to the amount of stress she was under so she was surprised when Brooke wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay." She said softly.

Sam pulled away and shook her head. "It's not, though." She argued. "I shouldn't have said yes."

"Why not?"

"We're seventeen!" She cried. "We're too young to get married! I don't even know if I want to get married, I've always wanted to have a one night stand but I can't do that if I'm married!"

Brooke laughed as she raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" She asked.

"You aren't supposed to be laughing!" Sam exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," she said as she reached under the pillow for the ring Sam had stashed earlier. "When did he propose?"

"Valentine's Day." Sam smiled.

Brooke's eyes widened. "You've kept this a secret for that long?"

"It's only been six weeks." She shrugged.

"Which is a pretty long time," she countered. "What happened to us, Sam? There was a time when we shared everything with each other."

She looked down at her chipped nails. "It's not just us anymore. You have Julian, Ryan, Emma and a baby on the way to worry about. I'm not the messed up one anymore, Emma is and it's important that you fix her just like you fixed me."

"You fixed me too, you know." Brooke said softly. "You've made me who I am today."

Sam scoffed. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did." She nodded. "You made me a mom."

Sam shrugged. "I guess."

"Those first few days were hell. I couldn't understand why you were always disappearing and you were by far the most sarcastic person I had ever met. But somewhere along the way we fell in sync and we forged a bond that can never be broken. You're my daughter, Sam. I love you more than anything and I know that we haven't been as close as we were when it was just the two of us but we don't have to keep drifting. I want you to feel like you can come to me when you have a problem and not feel like you're a burden—"

"What about when you're with Ryan or Emma? What about when the baby gets here? I don't want to take you away from them because they need you."

"You need me just as badly, sweetheart." She said as she cupped the side of Sam's face.

Sam melted into her mother's touch and she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I am too." Brooke said as she wrapped her arms around her.

"So," Sam sniffed after regaining her composure. "You're not mad?"

Brooke shook her head.

"Do you think we're crazy?"

"Maybe a little bit." She grinned.

"Do you think we can make it?"

She nodded. "Do you?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you want to know what I think?"

Sam nodded eagerly.

"I think that you and Jack were made for each other. He's not afraid to stand up to you and you're not afraid to be vulnerable in his presence. You both had pretty shitty childhoods but you were both able to look past that and get to this moment where everything is okay. You're only seventeen but that doesn't mean what you have with him isn't real. Haley and Nathan were sixteen when they got married and look at them. It can be scary for you because Jack is all you've ever known. You've never been with another boy and thinking that you'll only be with Jack for the rest of your life can be daunting. What if you grow apart? What if what you want and what he wants differs ten years down the road? Those things might happen but I don't think that you will ever stop loving him. A relationship isn't supposed to be easy, nor is love or marriage. It's not what we all see in the movies or on television shows. It's dirty and messy and frustrating. But it's worth it. There are going to be times when you want to throw in the towel and call it quits but then there are going to moments when you are so overjoyed that you can't imagine your life without him. I know that you're still unsure about marrying him and I don't blame you. Don't rush into anything you aren't comfortable with but know this: I believe in what you and Jack can be. I know what you have with him is real and is capable of lasting a lifetime."

Sam wiped her eyes. "Thank you." She said. "I really needed that."

Brooke pulled her in close. "I know you did."

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Later that night after the dishes had been done, bathes had been given and stories had been read, she lay in his arms content. "Can you believe that in six months we're going to have a baby?"

He shook his head. "Crazy, huh?"

She nodded. "There's a bump."

"What?"

"It's small but there's definitely a bump there." She smiled as she reached for his hand. He felt the incredibly small swell of her stomach and grinned.

"What was that?" He asked suddenly.

She sat up quickly as did he. "I don't know." She replied as she stared down at her stomach. "Do you think it was a kick?"

He shrugged. "Do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe it'll happen again." She reached for his hand and placed it next to hers on her belly. Within moments it happened again.

"It's definitely a kick." Julian smiled as he looked over at her to see her crying. "It's okay." He said softly as he cupped her face in his free hand.

"I know," She nodded. "I just never thought we'd get to experience this. It's amazing."

He kissed the top of her head. "It is." He agreed.

They lay under the covers with their hands on her belly waiting for the next kick. She fell asleep before him and with each kick that came he feared that she would wake up from it but she didn't. He smiled as he felt his son or daughter make contact with his hand time after time. Eventually the baby stopped and Julian started to worry that something was wrong.

"It's okay," She whispered.

"You're awake?"

She nodded. "The baby's fine, nothing's wrong."

"How did—are you—"

"I know you better than you think." She smiled as she nestled against his chest and instantly fell back asleep. He smiled to himself as he held her in his arms and looked forward to the day; six months away that he would finally meet his son or daughter.

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Review please!


	39. Change

**Only one more chapter after this…**

Chapter 39: Change

In six months a lot had changed. Jess had given birth to a baby girl she and Lucas had named Grace. At first they had been overwhelmed with becoming new parents but Julian and Brooke had helped in whatever why they could so within a couple of weeks things started to flow smoothly. Peyton had moved in across the street from Brooke and Julian and Lucas had reestablished a relationship with Connor. He spent every weekend with Jess and Lucas and Lucas made an effort to see him during the week as well. Brooke had made an effort to get to know David which made her mom extremely happy. Sam and Jack had headed off to the University of North Carolina Wilmington a few weeks earlier to start their college career. Brooke had been extremely emotional and the house had become a lot quieter. Haley and Nathan found out they were expecting another child to which Jamie was not pleased. Sarah however was excited to become a big sister.

The nursery had been painted three times because Brooke couldn't decide on a color. The crib had been moved to four different locations in the room because she didn't know where she liked it best. Clothes had been hung in the closet and then neatly folded and put in the dresser before being hung up again. Everything was ready for the arrival of the baby.

Ryan and Emma moseyed into the nursery where Brooke was folding clothes for the baby. "Hey guys," She smiled when she saw them. "What are you two up to?"

Emma looked at Ryan and raised her eyebrows. "Tell her."

Brooke stopped folding clothes and looked at them curiously. "What's going on?"

Ryan hesitated. "We don't want the baby to come home with you and daddy."

She knew this moment was coming. As it got closer and closer to the due date Ryan and Emma had become more withdrawn. They were being forced to readjust once again when the baby got here and making things even worse was the fact that Sam and Jack had moved away to college. Ryan and Emma were struggling. "How come?" She asked.

"Because it's going to get all of the attention, babies always need mommies and daddies way more than kids." Ryan complained.

"Come here," She said as she motioned them toward her. They both struggled to sit down in her lap as she laughed. "Aren't you excited to be able to sit comfortably in my lap again?" When neither of them responded she sighed. "I know that you guys are having a hard time adjusting to life without Sam and Jack and it must be hard hearing me and daddy constantly talking about the baby but we're just really excited. We were just as excited when we found out that each of you would be joining our family. It's kind of like the feeling you get on Christmas Eve when you know Santa's coming, you know?"

Both Ryan and Emma nodded eagerly. "I love Christmas!" Emma exclaimed.

Brooke laughed. "I know you do and I know how excited you two always get so that's what it feels like for me and daddy. We're really excited to have a baby but just because we're bringing home a new baby doesn't mean that we aren't going to care about you any less. Every day our love for both of you gets stronger and it'll continue that way for the rest of your lives."

"Do you have to love the baby?" Ryan asked.

She nodded. "He or she is going to be part of the family."

Emma looked at Ryan before leaning across Brooke's lap and whispering in his ear. "We're scared, mommy." He said softly.

"Why?"

"You and daddy are going to love the baby more then us."

She shook her head. "That's never going to happen, Ry." She assured him. "Why do you think that?"

"Because you and daddy made it, me and Emma came from a different mommy and daddy."

Brooke placed her finger under his chin and forced him to look at her. "Just because we adopted you doesn't mean we love you any less than if you were our own. Daddy and I love both of you so much," she said as she looked over at Emma. "You never have to worry that we love the baby more than you because that's not going to be possible."

"Promise?" Ryan asked as he held out his pinky.

She smiled. "I promise." She said as she linked her pinky with his and shook. Emma giggled as she stuck out hers for her mom to shake. "I love you so much."

"How much?" Emma laughed.

"To the moon and back." She responded before kissing the tops of each of their heads.

"We love you, too." Ryan grinned.

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"Is this for the baby too?" Jamie asked as he picked a stuffed bunny out of a shopping bag.

Haley turned to look at him. "No, that's for Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian's baby when he or she gets here."

"Did you get anything for me?" He asked.

"Sweetheart, today I went shopping for the baby and for Aunt Brooke's baby. You knew that. You can't expect me to get you something every time I go shopping."

"I know." He sighed as he flopped down on the couch.

Haley waddled over and sat down beside him. "Why are you so mad that I'm having another baby?"

Jamie shrugged. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"I just liked our family when it was the three of us and then you got pregnant with Sarah. It took me some time to get used to her and now you're having another baby. I just like having you and dad to myself."

"We make time to do things with you by yourself," Haley defended.

"It's just not the same."

"I know, but it's not up to you how many brothers or sisters you have. Your dad and I make that decision and we like the idea of having a big family. We love you just as much as we love Sarah and just as much as we're going to love this baby." She said as she patted her belly.

"I know you do." Jamie sighed as he got up and went up to his room.

Just then, Nathan walked in the door after a long day at practice. "Hey you," he smiled when he saw her sitting on the couch.

"Hi."

"What's wrong?"

"Jamie's really upset that we're having another baby."

"You didn't realize that seven months ago when we first told him?"

"I did but I thought it would go away." She sighed as she struggled to push herself up but the couch had swallowed her when she sat down. "You know, we really need to get a new couch because this one doesn't work for me when I'm pregnant."

Nathan laughed. "I thought you said when we found out we were having another kid that this was the last time you would be pregnant?"

"I was kidding." She said as he helped her up. "I love being pregnant."

"Really?" He asked as he began to feel around her belly waiting for their daughter to kick.

She nodded. "So I was thinking that once Savannah is born we could wait a month or two before trying again?"

"I think that sounds like a good plan." Nathan smiled.

"And then we can try again and again."

"Just how many kids are we planning on having?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Well, I was one of seven and I loved having such a big family."

"Wow," he said as he shook his head. "Can you imagine seven kids running around here?"

She leaned in to kiss him. "We'll see how things go. Maybe less. Maybe more."

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"Can you believe this is our last prenatal doctors appointment?" Brooke asked as she placed the magazine down on her lap. "The next time we'll be here we'll either have a son or a daughter."

Julian shook his head. "It's crazy."

"What do you want it to be?" She had asked this question countless times ever since they had agreed not to find out the sex of their baby.

"I don't care as long as he or she is healthy." His answer was always the same.

"Julian, you have to have _some_ sort of preference."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'll be happy with a boy who I can play out in the mud with but I'll be just as happy with a girl who I can have tea parties with."

She laughed. "You'd do that?"

"If she wanted me to."

She rubbed his arm as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Brooke Baker?" The nurse called.

After getting weighed and measured, Julian helped her onto the table where she laid waiting for Jess.

"Hi!" She chirped as she walked into the room. "How are you guys doing?"

"Good, how are you?" Brooke asked as she struggled to sit up and give her a hug. "How's Grace?"

"She's great," Jess beamed. "It's so hard coming to work every day and leaving her. I can't wait to go home now."

Julian smiled at his sister's happiness. He wasn't too pleased when he found out that she had gotten married without telling him but Brooke had eventually calmed him down and told him that it was her life, her wedding and her choice. He was thankful for how happy Lucas made her and his niece was the most beautiful baby. He and Brooke had had three months of practice with Grace and Jess and Lucas had told them how natural parenthood looked on them. He couldn't wait to bring his son or daughter home.

"The baby's still breach so I'm going to go ahead and schedule a caesarean on the a few days before you're due date." Jess said as she looked at the monitor which was displaying a pixilated picture of the baby.

Brooke and Julian nodded. They had hoped that the baby would have turned so he or she could have been delivered naturally but that obviously hadn't happened. "It's all becoming so real." Brooke smiled.

"In a week you'll have a baby." Jess grinned as she wiped the jelly from Brooke's stomach.

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She tossed and turned all night struggling to get comfortable. Having had enough, she climbed out of bed and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she reached for the glass she felt a wave of pain radiate through her body. She gasped as she clutched her lower belly, dropping the glass and watching it shatter into a million pieces on the floor. Groaning, she began to sway back and forth in the hopes that the pain would subside. It didn't. She had struggled to bend down and clean up the broken glass, she hated how her belly was constantly getting in the way of doing everything. She dumped the shards of glass into the trash before heading into the living room to lie down. The pains however were worse when she did so, so she groaned as she struggled to sit up and stand up. "Why are you doing this to me?" She asked as she swayed in the middle of the living room while rubbing her belly.

"Brooke?"

She turned at the sound of her name to see him standing in front of her rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing out here? It's three in the morning."

"I couldn't –" She stopped suddenly and he could see how much pain she was in. Within seconds he was by her side. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"How long has this been going on, Brooke?" He asked as she threw her arms around his neck and began to sway again. His hands found their way to her hard, swollen belly and began to massage her skin.

"About an hour?" She estimated. "Don't stop, that feels so good."

"Brooke!" He cried. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because it's nothing. It's just a little bit of false labor."

"I don't think so," He said as he shook his head. "This looks pretty serious to me."

Suddenly she looked up at him and he could see the panic in her eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"My water just broke."

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Lucas groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head. "Make her stop!" He pleaded.

Jess lay in bed next to him staring up at the ceiling. "I'm not going in there and rocking her. That's what we did wrong in the first place, she needs a sleep schedule."

"I need sleep, though." He argued. "And I can't get that if I have to listen to her screaming her little lungs out."

"She'll put herself to sleep eventually. It always takes the longest the first night you don't go in there and soothe her like we usually do."

"Don't you think it's cruel for us to be laying here listening to her scream?"

"It's what babies do, Luke." She said. "She'll figure it out."

Ten minutes later the crying stopped.

"See?" Jess grinned. "Tomorrow night she'll cry even less and pretty soon she won't cry at all."

Just as she was about to fall asleep, Jess heard her phone vibrate on the wooden bedside table. Lucas groaned in frustration as he flipped over. "Who the hell is calling at three in the morning?" He grumbled.

"Brooke." She said as she immediately sat up after seeing her name flash across the screen. "What's wrong?" She asked the second she answered her phone. Moments later she jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom only to emerge in her scrubs.

"Where are you going?"

"Brooke's in labor."

"I thought she wasn't due for another two weeks." Lucas asked as he sat up.

Jess shook her head. "She's not and the baby's breach so the cesarean was scheduled for a week from today but that baby's ready now. You need to get dressed."

"Why?"

"Emma and Ryan need someone to watch them."

"What about Grace? She just fell asleep."

"The portable crib is already in the car and she'll fall back asleep in no time." Jess assured him. "Now move!"

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Jess pulled into her brother's driveway and ran into the house while Lucas got Grace and the portable crib. "Where is she?" She asked when she saw Julian standing in the kitchen double checking everything they had packed to bring to the hospital.

"Right here." Brooke answered as she waddled into the kitchen.

It was then that Jess saw the tears. "What's wrong?" She asked as she moved toward Brooke.

"Something's wrong. This isn't supposed to be happening right now. It's too early. Something must be wrong with the baby."

She shook her head. "Nothing's wrong with the baby, Brooke." She promised. "We just need to get to the hospital so we can stop you from dilating and get you in for an emergency c-section."

"What about Emma and Ryan?" She asked.

"Luke came with me. He's going to stay here with them, okay?"

Brooke nodded as Julian reached for her hand. "Ready to have a baby?" he asked.

"Ready." She replied as she squeezed his hand.

They passed Lucas on his way in as the three of them headed toward the car. Brooke lay in the backseat nestled in Julian's arms as Jess drove down the dark streets of Tree Hill toward the hospital.

A short while later they had arrived at the hospital. Jess checked in while Julian brought Brooke up to the labor and delivery wing. Brooke had been given nifedipine to slow her labor which had taken effect fairly quickly.

"Ready to go?" Jess asked as she entered the room.

Brooke nodded as Julian emerged from the bathroom in his scrubs. "How do I look?" He asked. Brooke and Jess both laughed.

"Cute," Brooke smiled.

He reached for her hand as Jess began to push her bed toward the operating room. Once they got there, he was instructed to stay our in the hallway while Brooke was prepped for surgery.

"You can come in now." Jess said.

When Julian saw his wife lying on the operating table he felt his stomach do a flip-flop. He trusted his sister and he knew she knew what she was doing but he was still scared. He heard her calling him and it was then that he saw how scared she looked. He inhaled deeply knowing that he had to be strong because he knew she was fragile. "I'm right here." He said as he sat down in the chair by her head.

"I'm scared." She said as he watched a tear cascade down her face.

"Everything's going to be okay." He said before kissing her forehead and reaching for her hand.

"Okay, Brooke. You're going to feel a lot of pressure in a minute." Jess said from behind the sheet.

He watched her wince and seconds later open her eyes when they heard their child's first cries. "Congratulations!" Jess exclaimed as she held the baby up for them to see. "He's beautiful."

Julian leaned in to kiss her as their tears meshed together. "We have a son." He cried against her lips as he tangled his fingers in her hair.

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Emma was the first to wake up the next morning. She usually crept down the staircase before tiptoeing into her parents' room and climbing into bed with them. When she discovered her parents missing from their bed she began to panic. She raced up the staircase and woke Ryan up. "Mommy and daddy are missing!" She cried.

Ryan immediately sat up. "Where'd they go?" He asked.

Emma shrugged. "We need to call the police!"

"Did you check everywhere?"

She nodded. "Mommy always said that if something big and bad happens you need to call the police. They'll help us."

Ryan climbed out of his bed. "They wouldn't just leave us without saying goodbye."

"Where are you going?" Emma asked as he followed her brother down the staircase.

"To look for them." He said matter-of-factly.

"I already did that!"

"Shhh!" Ryan scolded as he pointed to the couch. "Uncle Lucas is sleeping!"

Lucas jumped when he woke to find Emma and Ryan staring at him. "What the hell?" He exclaimed.

"You said a bad word." Ryan said as he pointed to the swear jar. "You owe us a quarter."

"A quarter?"

They both nodded. "We used to be rich but mommy doesn't swear anymore so we need the money." Ryan explained.

Lucas shook his head and laughed as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a dollar. "How about this?" He asked as he handed it to them.

"You're the best!" Emma shrieked as she snatched it out of his hand.

"That's not fair!" Ryan cried.

Lucas pulled out another one. "Here you go, bud."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"What did you do with our mommy and daddy?" Emma asked.

"They had to go to the hospital because it was time for the baby to be born."

"Did she have it yet?" Ryan asked as his eyes lit up.

Lucas nodded. "Do you want to go meet him?"

"She had a boy?" Emma asked clearly disgusted.

"Yes!" Ryan exclaimed as he pumped his fist into the air.

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He couldn't take his eyes off of his son. His wife was fast asleep and had been for the past couple of hours. He had been sitting in the chair beside her with their son in his arms ever since Jess brought him in a little while ago. He was the perfect combination of the two of them with his brown eyes and her nose. He had wrapped his little finger around Julian's large one and he had no intention of letting go.

"So," Jess said softly as she walked in to check on Brooke and the baby. "How does it feel?"

"Incredible." He said as he shook his head. "He's actually here."

"He's a miracle baby."

Julian looked up. "So is Grace."

She stared down at the sleeping baby. "Who would have thought that Brooke and I would ever get pregnant much less deliver two healthy babies?"

"It was meant to be." He responded in a voice just above a whisper.

"Can I hold him?" Brooke asked as her eyes fluttered open. Jess watched as her brother carefully handed the swaddled baby boy over to his mother before climbing into bed with them.

"Luke's on his way over with Ryan and Emma. She's not too pleased it's a boy." Jess smirked as she headed out of the room.

"He's perfect." Brooke said as she looked down at her son.

"Just like his mom." Julian smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. "What're you thinking of for names?"

"Ethan." She said as she looked up at him. "After my dad."

"He'd love that." Julian said softly as he wrapped his arm around her. "Ethan Davis Baker, I like the sound of that."

"His middle name is going to be Davis?"

He nodded. "Don't you like it?"

"I love it." She said as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "My dad would too."

"Mommy!" Emma and Ryan sang as they ran into the room.

Julian hushed them and explained that the baby was sleeping. He carefully pulled them up onto the bed and they peered into Brooke's lap to see their baby brother for the first time.

"He's so small." Emma marveled.

"You were once this size, too." Brooke said.

"Really?" She asked.

"I was too, right?" Ryan asked.

Julian laughed. "You were too, bud."

"What's his name?"

"Ethan." Brooke said.

"I don't like that name." Emma said as she scrunched up her nose.

"I do." Ryan announced. "I think he looks like an Ethan too."

"He looks like a squished meatball." Emma corrected.

"That's not nice!" Ryan exclaimed. "He's our brother! We're supposed to love him."

"Hey," Julian interjected. "You two need to be nice and lower your voices because Ethan is trying to sleep."

"This is all he's going to do, huh?" Ryan asked.

"For a little while but then he'll get big and run around and play with you guys." He said.

"I can't wait for when he can do that!" Ryan smiled.

"Can we dress him up like my dolls?" Emma asked.

Brooke laughed. "I don't think daddy would like that too much, sweetie."

Emma and Ryan were captivated by their little brother; nothing else in the world seemed to matter to the two of them in that moment. The longer Emma stared at Ethan and asked questions about him the more she warmed up to the fact that he was a boy and not a girl. They both took turns holding him and Brooke was nervous the entire time that they would drop him but they didn't. Julian found it cute and endearing that she was so concerned.

He had made all the necessary phone calls later in the afternoon once Lucas had taken Emma and Ryan home and Brooke was sleeping with Ethan on her chest. Sam and Jack were bummed they couldn't have been there but told him that they were planning on coming home as soon as possible to see Ethan. Victoria had been overjoyed. She had wished she wasn't up in New York dealing with investors but said that she'd be home soon to help out with the baby while everyone adjusted to their new life with Ethan.

He couldn't stop staring at them. He had been standing in the doorway of the hospital room for a good fifteen minutes just staring at his wife and son. He couldn't believe that he was actually here, that they had survived everything and somehow gotten to this point where everything was perfect.

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Review please!


	40. Marry

**All right, I can't believe this is over. Thank you to every single one of you who has taken the time to read and or review. I truly appreciate it. It's sad to see this come to an end but I'm also excited to start a story. It should be up within the next week or so. I really hope you enjoy this last chapter!**

Chapter Forty: Marry 

_**5 YEARS LATER**_

"Brooke," Haley sighed as she walked into Clothes over Bros. "We have a problem.**"**

"What would that be?" She asked as she turned away from the dress she was altering.

Haley gasped. "Is that Sam's wedding dress?"

Brooke nodded proudly. "I can't believe she's getting married tomorrow."

She slung her arm around Brooke's shoulder. "You did a good job raising her."

"Thanks for bringing her into my life. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to her." Haley smiled. "Besides Jack."

Brooke laughed. "So what's the problem?"

"This." Haley said as she pointed to the dress Brooke had made for her. "I don't fit in it anymore."

"You're kidding, right?" Brooke exclaimed. "We had a fitting last Sunday and you fit just fine."

"I don't know how it happened but I managed to get bigger in a six day period." She said as she gestured to her enormous belly.

Brooke shook her head. "You're lucky I love you and have time to make you another dress." She smirked.

"Just don't make it too tight because it _is_ the middle of July and I'm huge, uncomfortable and days away from giving birth." She said as she stepped up in front of the mirror for Brooke to take her measurements.

"I thought you liked how the last dress showed off your pregnant figure?"

"I did but lately I've been so self-conscious of how big I am. I was never this big with any of my other pregnancies." She said as she turned to the side and looked at her belly.

"Are you sure you aren't carrying twins in there?" Brooke asked as she wrapped the measuring tape around Haley's protruding middle.

"I don't know what Nathan would do if we had twins. He can barely handle the four we already have." She laughed.

Brooke took the rest of Haley's measurements before sending her on her way. Her daughter was hours away from getting married and she was surprisingly calm. The last five years had flown by. She couldn't believe Ethan was starting kindergarten in three months; she felt like she had just brought him home from the hospital. Emma was going to be starting the fifth grade in the fall while Ryan would be starting sixth. They both loved school and were great students. They had welcomed Ethan with open arms and the three of them were inseparable. It had been a rough five years for Sam and Jack. They had started out strong but halfway through their sophomore year they called off the engagement. Seven months later they were back together. They had graduated a year earlier and had settled into an apartment just outside of Wilmington where Sam worked as a social worker. Jack was still studying to be a pediatric surgeon and was doing well in his residency at the hospital. Having had been engaged for almost six years they decided it was time to get married. Brooke had been ecstatic when Sam came to visit one weekend and asked for help planning the wedding.

"Hey you," his voice caught her by surprise causing her to jump.

"Hi." She smiled.

Her heart still skipped a beat whenever she saw him…even after seven years of marriage.

"What are you up to?" He asked as he snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her on her neck.

"Haley's dress doesn't fit anymore so I'm making her a new one." She said as she melted into his touch. "You need to stop doing that because I need to get some work done."

"I don't think so." He whispered in her ear.

"Julian," She laughed. "I'm serious."

He pulled away with a pout on his face. "When will you be home?"

"In a few hours, I need to finish this dress and then I have to do a few things for Just a Dream but I should be home in time for dinner." She replied.

Just a Dream was her life. That's how it had started, it was just a dream of hers but it had grown into something so much more. Ever since she had been attacked, she had wanted to do something for other victims of sexual assault or abuse but she didn't know how. Five years go she got involved with the local rape foundation and started donating a percentage of money from the sales she made at Clothes over Bros to the foundation. She eventually mustered enough courage to take a leap of faith just like she had done in high school with Clothes over Bros, and she devoted all of her time and effort into a new project: The Just A Dream Foundation. Today, five years later, it's incredibly successful and has helped thousands of victims of sexual assault or abuse.

Clothes over Bros would always be her first love but she found herself less interested in clothes and more in helping victims like her. She still owned the company and designed here and there but her mother ran everything Clothes over Bros related. Through Just a Dream she was able to help survivors of sexual abuse heal their minds, bodies and spirits and also help them reclaim their lives. She had once been ashamed of what had happened in the past with Matt and his three friends but after speaking out about it at foundation events she felt liberated. She thought she had healed when she went to see Matt in prison but after starting the foundation she discovered she was truly healed.

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"Mommy!" Ethan yelled the moment Brooke walked in the front door. "Emma said I look like a monkey in my wedding outfit!"

"He does!" Emma retorted as she twirled around in the dress Brooke had made for her to wear to Sam's wedding.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, Emma, don't say anything at all." Brooke scolded as she bent down to Ethan's height. "I think you look very handsome." She smiled as she adjusted his bowtie. "Now why don't you go take that off before you ruin it? I don't have time to make any more new outfits before tomorrow."

Ethan did as he was told and scampered up the stairs to his room. "You too, baby girl." She said to Emma. "Upstairs." She followed Ethan up the stairs to change.

"Finally," Julian grinned as she walked into the kitchen to find him cooking dinner. "I've missed you."

"You just saw me three hours ago," She laughed as she wrapped his arm around his waist. "Mhm, spaghetti and homemade meatballs."

"It's almost ready." He said as he stirred the pot of sauce.

"Good," She smiled. "I'm starving."

"Have you talked to Sam yet today?" He asked.

Brooke nodded. "She said they should be here around seven."

Shortly after seven they arrived. The family of seven ate spaghetti and meatballs while enjoying each other's company. Brooke knew that Sam was only a short drive away but after tomorrow everything will change. She'll be a wife. She'll go to Jack when things get tough instead of her, her mother. She was excited for Sam's new life but also terrified. Julian sensed his wife's apprehension and took her hand under the table. She smiled when his skin came into contact with hers and she squeezed back giving him a reassuring grin.

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Sam emerged in her wedding dress and Brooke completely lost it. She had seen Sam in the dress a dozen times for all of her fittings but this time it was different. It finally hit her that her daughter was getting married.

"Don't cry," Sam said as she walked toward Brooke. "You'll make me cry!"

"I'm sorry," She said as she dabbed her eyes. "I just can't believe how far we've come."

Sam smiled and sat down on the bed before patting the spot next to her. Brooke sat down. "I love you." She said as she rested her head on Brooke's shoulder. "And my life would have never turned out the way it has if it weren't for you. You have given me _so_ much in the past eight years and I haven't deserved any of it—"

"Yes you—"

"Shhh." Sam said. "Let me finish. I thought something was wrong with me because my mom gave me up and then none of the foster families I went to live with cared about me or loved me but you changed that. You made me realize that I wasn't the problem…they were. I was a bitch to you when you first took me in but you refused to give up on me. Yeah, there were times when I hated you but it was because I wasn't used to someone caring about me. I know it was a long time ago but the night you were attacked I realized how much I loved you and cared about you. I was scared to death that I was going to lose you and I was nowhere near ready to live in a world without you by my side. I may be twenty-two years old right now but I still need your help. I still need your advice and your guidance and I'm going to need it now more than ever as I become someone's wife and soon a mom."

Sam watched as Brooke's eyes grew wide. "Are you pregnant?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Sam nodded. "I'm six weeks along. We weren't planning on starting a family right away but it just sort of happened and at first we were petrified but now we're so excited and—"

Brooke wrapped her arms around her daughter. "I couldn't be happier for you." She said as she rocked Sam back and forth.

"I just hope I'm as good of a mom to my son or daughter as you were to me."

"You will be." Brooke assured her. "You'll be better."

"I don't think that's possible." Sam replied.

Brooke smiled as she reached for her daughter's hand. "You ready to get married?"

She nodded. "Can you send dad in? I want to talk to him before he walks me down the aisle."

"Of course," Brooke nodded. "I better go and make sure Ethan, Ryan and Emma haven't ruined their outfits."

Sam laughed as she stood up to hug her mom. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby girl." Brooke whispered back.

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She found her three kids playing down by the water's edge with Haley and Nathan watching them from the end of the boardwalk. "Hey, you two." She said as she neared them.

"Hi!" Haley squealed. "I love the dress!"

Brooke laughed. "I'm glad."

"How's the bride holding up?" Nathan asked.

"Well." She smiled. "She's doing really well."

"Good to hear," Nathan nodded. "How's her mom doing?"

"I couldn't be happier or prouder. Her and Jack are meant to be together."

Haley pulled Brooke into a hug. "You're going to cry your eyes out when you see her on Julian's arm on her way down the aisle."

"I know," Brooke said as she looked down at her three kids giggling and laughing. "It's going to be hard but I'm trying not to think about it."

"It's not like she's dying or anything." Nathan shrugged. "I mean she's just getting married."

Haley shot him a look before swatting his arm.

Brooke couldn't help but laugh. "They'll be happy tears, Nate. I promise."

Nathan grinned. "Good."

"Do either of you know where Julian is? Sam wants to talk to him." Brooke asked as she looked around. People were starting to arrive and were gathering down on the beach where the ceremony was going to be held. It wasn't a large wedding but it wasn't small either. There were a lot of people Sam and Jack went to school with and everyone from Tree Hill who had watched them grow into adults.

"He's in with Jack." Haley nodded off to her right.

Brooke thanked both of them before heading off to find her husband. She looked back at Nathan and Haley and smiled to herself. They were just as in love with each other as they were back in high school if not more. They had four beautiful kids with another on the way and neither of them could be happier. Jamie had come around and was happy to have a big family now and couldn't wait for the next baby to be born. She was pretty sure, after talking to Haley, that this was going to be the last baby but who knew? Haley had finally achieved her goal of becoming principal at Tree Hill High and Nathan was one of the best players in the NBA. They were both doing what they loved and they were the definition of happiness.

She found him helping Jack with his tie in front of the mirror. She couldn't hear what her husband was telling her daughter's soon to be husband but she smiled at the two of them. Knocking lightly on the door, she made her presence known. "Hey, handsome." She smiled.

"Hi." They both replied in unison causing her to laugh.

"How are you doing?" She asked Jack as she adjusted the tie Julian had just finished fixing.

"I'm surprisingly calm." Jack grinned.

Brooke looked over at Julian. "I can take it from here. Our daughter wants to see you before you walk her down the aisle."

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She didn't know he was standing there admiring her. She stood in front of the mirror smoothing out her dress for the hundredth time and he could see how nervous she was. She looked absolutely stunning. He couldn't believe how much she had grown in the past five years. She was no longer the snarky teenager she was when he first met her. Instead, she was a beautiful, strong, independent woman who he couldn't have been prouder of. He felt honored to call her his daughter.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked, breaking him from his trance. "Dad?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I kind of spaced out." He said as he took a step toward her. "You look beautiful, Sam."

"Thanks." She blushed as she looked down at the dress Brooke had made for her. "Is it normal for me to be scared?"

He smiled. "Yes." He answered simply as he sat down on the bed.

"I know I'm doing the right thing. I mean I know Jack and I are meant for each other and I'm so excited to call him my husband so I don't know what I'm so afraid of." She sighed.

He draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. "It's a new chapter of your life. You're starting over and that can be scary as hell. Remember how scared you were on your first day of college? This is something new and at first new things can be absolutely terrifying but they're so worth it. I know you're going to be okay, Sam. I know you're going to be happy and live happily ever after with Jack because that's what the two of you deserve."

"Thanks," She said quietly. "I really needed that."

He kissed the top of her head. "I know you did, sweetheart."

"Did mom tell you?"

"Tell me what?" He asked as he pulled away and looked at her.

"I'm pregnant." She said as a smile appeared on her face.

At first she couldn't tell if he was upset or happy. His face showed no indication of either emotion. When he finally wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight she knew how he felt. "I'm so happy for you," He whispered in her hair.

She felt tears falling onto her skin and at first she didn't know if they were his or hers. When he pulled away, she realized they were his. "I didn't mean to make you cry," She said as she wiped his eyes.

"It's okay," he smiled. "I just couldn't be happier right now. Everything is going so well for all of us. Your mom is super successful with The Just A Dream Foundation, you're pregnant and getting married to a great guy, Emma, Ryan and Ethan are carefree little kids who love everything about life and I'm just the guy sitting back and enjoying the happiness my family is experiencing."

Sam nodded. "Things are going pretty great, huh?"

"Nothing could be better than this." He agreed. "Are you ready to get married?"

She stood and smiled as she linked her arm with his before reaching for her bouquet. "Ready."

Brooke stood when she heard the wedding march begin. She turned to see her beautiful daughter on the arm of her husband. She felt Nathan's hand on her shoulder and she knew he was there for support because she was going to lose it at any second. Sam and Julian stopped suddenly in front of her and Julian kissed Sam's cheek before settling into the chair next to Brooke. "What are you doing?" Brooke asked.

"I want you to give me away." Sam said as she reached out for Brooke's hand. "You were there for me when nobody else was."

Brooke looked at her with tears in her eyes before linking her arm with her daughter's. It was only a couple of steps to the alter but Brooke made them walk slowly…she wasn't ready to lose her yet.

"You're not losing me." Sam whispered, knowing exactly what her mom was thinking. "I'm just getting married. I'll always be your daughter first and foremost."

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"The wedding was beautiful, Brooke." Jess said after the ceremony. "She was one heck of a bride."

Brooke smiled. "She was, wasn't she?"

Jess was about to say something when she ran off scolding Grace who was digging in the sand and getting her dress filthy. Brooke smiled to herself as Lucas joined his wife. He apparently didn't see what the big deal was considering the wedding was over and Grace could now do whatever to the dress. They were the perfect couple, Brooke had concluded. They balanced each other out and were so in love with each other at times it was nauseating. Lucas had found inspiration again and was writing like a madman. Jess had expanded her practice and was doing extremely well. Grace was the cutest goddaughter she could have asked for and she and Emma got along like sisters. Grace was excited because Jess and Lucas were in the process of adopting a little girl named Lexi who would most likely become part of the family in the next three weeks or so.

"Mommy!" Ethan forced her out of her trance. "Grandma and Grandpa David are here!" He said as he pointed down the beach.

It had taken some time for Brooke to get used to David but now she loved him as much as she loved her mom. Victoria had been shocked when Brooke had agreed to let the kids call him Grandpa; it had showed her just how much her daughter had grown.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked as she neared her mom and David. "I thought you weren't going to be able to make it because of work?"

"Well," Victoria sighed. "If the plane hadn't been delayed we would have been here for the wedding but there was a little bit of trouble on the tarmac. I cancelled all the meetings with the investors because today is an important day."

"You cancelled the meetings?" Brooke asked as her eyes grew wide. "You _never_ cancel meetings."

"I know," Victoria smiled. "There's a first time for everything. Now, where's my granddaughter?"

Brooke pointed down the beach. "She's almost done taking pictures with Jack. She'll be so excited to see you."

"I know." Victoria smiled as she reached for David's hand and began to lead him toward Sam.

"Brooke!"

She turned to hear her name being screamed by Peyton who was jumping up and down up where the reception was being held. "Brooke!"

"I'm coming!" She yelled back as she began to make her way toward her best friend.

"Mike proposed!" Peyton exclaimed when Brooke was a few feet away. "And this time I said yes!"

Brooke stared at her in disbelief as Peyton thrust her left hand out for her to see. The ring was gorgeous and so perfectly Peyton. It wasn't too big or too small, it wasn't traditional or avant-garde…it was just Peyton. "Seriously?" Brooke asked.

Peyton nodded ferociously. "I can't believe it either! I'm actually getting married!" She was giddy and Brooke laughed when her best friend started jumping up and down.

"I'm so happy for you." Brooke said as she wrapped her arms around her. "Can I make your dress?"

Peyton stared at her. "Obviously. It'll just have to be five months from now after I give birth." She said as she patted her pregnant belly.

They remained discussing the details of the proposal for a few minutes before Peyton ran off to inform Haley and Nathan. Brooke was happy to see her best friend so happy again because it had taken a lot to get her to this point. She never thought she would marry again and Mike had tried on three different occasions and she had denied him every time. She was happy the way things were and she was scared that if they got married things would end badly like they had with Lucas. Everyone had told her that things wouldn't be like that again because everyone could tell how different her life was with Mike. They worked together, they loved each other and they were meant for each other. Finally, Brooke thought to herself, she believed that.

She felt her phone vibrating in her clutch bag. When she saw the number flash on the screen she felt her heart sink. It couldn't be, she thought, as she hurried into the house to get away from all the noise of the reception.

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Julian could watch his kids play for hours with each other. They had vivid imaginations and could entertain themselves for days on end. The game they always ended up playing was house. Emma was the mom, Ryan was the husband and Ethan was the baby boy. Sometimes Ryan and Ethan switched but that was rare. They played the roles pretty well. Emma mimicked Brooke in a way Julian found scarily accurate while Ryan and Ethan portrayed their roles with a lot of enthusiasm. Even at a wedding, they were able to find a spot where they could play house.

He figured he should probably make himself useful so he walked around looking for Brooke. He asked pretty much everyone if they had seen her to which they all had answered no. For whatever reason, he wandered into the house where he heard sobs. He couldn't see the person but he knew it was his wife because he knew the sound of her cry. She was on the floor, leaning against the wall with her head in her hands. "What's wrong?" He asked gently as he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"That was Amy from Jess's fertility clinic." She said as she looked up at him. "Whitney's pregnant."

Julian's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

She nodded. "It worked this time." She said as a smile appeared on her face. "We're going to have a baby in nine months."

He squeezed her tight and kissed the top of her head. They had tried to get pregnant again about a year after Ethan but it hadn't worked. Jess had tried to help; Ethan was truly a miracle baby. She suggested that they look into surrogacy to which Brooke was extremely apprehensive to at first. She didn't want another woman carrying _their_ baby around for nine months. She didn't want to have another woman experience _their_ child's first kick. She didn't want another woman giving birth to _their_ child but as time went on she warmed up to the idea. She wanted another baby and she didn't care how she got it. Jess had found a woman who had been a surrogate before and she had clicked with Brooke and Julian. Her name was Whitney and she was twenty-eight years old. She wasn't married and didn't have any kids of her own.

They had implanted Whitney two times before with a mixture of Brooke's eggs and Julian's sperm. Two times they had gotten their hopes up only to find out that she wasn't pregnant. They had considered giving up but Whitney had begged them not to because she could see how badly they wanted another baby. Whitney had been implanted eight weeks ago and this time it had worked. She was pregnant with Brooke and Julian's baby.

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At the end of the night there weren't many people left at the reception. Jess and Luke had left because it was way past Grace's bed time. Mike and Peyton left because Hannah was getting cranky and irritable. Nathan and Haley had left because she had started to experience a few contractions. Nathan had later called to inform everyone that Haley was indeed in labor to which Brooke was ecstatic.

In the end it was just Sam and Jack, Victoria and David and Brooke, Julian, Ethan, Ryan and Emma. Sam and Jack were still holding each other while they danced to no music since it had long ago stopped. Victoria and David were down by the water's edge enjoying each other's company. Ethan was sound asleep in Brooke's arms while Julian held a sleeping Emma in his. Ryan had begun to clean up the mess everyone had left behind to which Brooke and Julian found endearing.

"Are you excited?' Brooke whispered as they watched Sam and Jack.

He nodded. "This time I'm hoping for a boy."

She looked over at him. "How come?"

"Because I don't think I can stand to give another one of my daughters away like I did today." He replied softly as he played with Emma's chestnut hair.

"Well you're going to have to do it at least once more." She said as she looked down at Emma in his arms.

He shook his head. "She's not getting married. I won't allow it."

Brooke couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, I'm interested to see how that conversation goes when she's older."

He reached for her hand and kissed it. "I love you a lot."

She remained quiet for a few moments before responding. "Thank you for coming back all those years ago, thank you for saving me. Thank you for giving me all of this." She said as she motioned around her.

"Why—"

"I just realized today how much I have and it's all because of you. You changed my life, Julian and I couldn't be happier." She said as she squeezed his hand. "I love you a lot, too."

He leaned over their sleeping kids to kiss her. He loved his wife more than anything in the world and he couldn't imagine his life without her in it. He couldn't imagine the man he would be without her or their kids. He'd let her believe that he had changed her life but really it was the other way around. She had changed his; she made him believe in love and she hade given him everything he had ever dreamed of having. His life was complete because of her.

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**So I know that some of you don't like when there's a lot of Sam/Brooke/Julian stuff and not so much Brooke/Julian/Emma/Ryan stuff but I thought it was only fitting to end this story with Sam, Brooke and Julian since that is how it all started. Hope you liked it! **

**Review please!**


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